by L. P. Dover
I ask her if she loves Merrick and thankfully she claims she cares for him only as a friend. I see the truth in her eyes so I don’t doubt her claims, but Merrick is going to be another issue. A man in love will do impossible things. I just hope he doesn’t get in my way. I don’t want to hurt him because I know it would hurt Calista and the last thing I want is to push her away when I’m just getting to know her.
We say our goodbyes and I save her sister from my brother like she asks. I spend the rest of the time watching her dance with the other warriors and then finally her evening ends with a last dance with Aelfric, the leader of the Elvan Kingdom. I heard that she visits the Elvan Kingdom regularly and will be taking a trip there in a few days. The party is finally over and I see Merrick taking hold of Calista’s elbow and leading her out of the great room.
After the Party- Ryder
“Did you have fun with Calista’s sister, Kalen?” I ask humorously.
Kalen says, “Oh yes, brother, she’s an amazing girl. Her ability is for nature and animals. I told her of my pack of white wolves we have in the Winter Court and she was totally fascinated about it. We spent the whole time talking about animals. She’s the only girl that I’ve ever talked to that has loved talking about animals.
My brother loves his animals, but he’s never been fortunate enough to find a girl that has a love for animals, too. I’m glad he could share that with her.
“We need to find Warren and settle in for the night,” I say while looking around the room searching for him.
“I agree.” Kalen walks beside me with a sly grin and wriggles his eyebrows.
“I saw you with the Princess. It was looking kind of hot and heavy there for a while. Is there something you’re not telling me?”
I whisper, “I plan to meet her tonight, but I need you to make sure that Warren doesn’t find out. He’s been acting strange and I just don’t want him to know. I’m going to get Heylfred to check on him when we get back. I trust you to keep this a secret.”
“Of course, Ryder, whatever you need me to do, I’ll do,” he insists.
I clap his shoulder and we search for Warren. We find him talking to Avery, the counselor for the Summer Court, and when they see us approach Warren averts his gaze quickly, like he’s guilty of something.
I look at him suspiciously.
“Are you ready to retire?” I ask.
He walks away from Avery and says, “Yes, I’m ready. It’s been a long night.”
I need to find Xylia fast, before everyone leaves for the night.
I say quickly, “Good, Kalen will show you the way to our rooms. I have a few things I need to do first.”
Warren looks at me skeptically, but I keep my face blank. I can’t let him know what I’m doing. The outburst he had about the princess has me very cautious around him. I don’t want to have to hurt my oldest friend, but I will if I have to. They both leave and I look around to find the one person I need. Once I spot her and get her attention she comes right over.
“Is there something I can help you with, Prince Ryder?” Xylia asks skeptically.
“As a matter of fact, there is. Can you do me a favor?” I whisper.
“Depends,” she says smiling. “Will there be stealth involved?” She looks all around darting her eyes back and forth and rubbing her hands together in anticipation. She reminds me of my brother with his sense of humor and spunky personality.
Laughing, I say, “Yes, there will be lots of stealth involved.”
“Then I’m in, sweet thing,” she says and winks.
I lean in closer to her and whisper, “I’m going to meet Calista tonight and I need you to make sure Merrick doesn’t come looking for her if he suspects she is missing.”
Her face falls.
“Do you realize how much he is going to hate me if he finds out? Not to mention the amount of trouble I could get into?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you couldn’t do it.” I look around quickly to make sure no one is listening and then I look back at her. “Please, I really need to speak to her in private. It is very important that I talk to her.”
She smiles.
“Okay, I’ll make it happen.”
We separate and head out of the Great Room. I have one hour to kill before it’s time to meet Calista. What should I do in this hour?
Chapter 11
Calista
Merrick takes my elbow and leads me out of the Great Room. We walk through the palace and head to my room, or my rooms is more like it. In my wing of the house I have a total of ten different rooms to choose from. I have my library and my bedroom that I mainly use. I have a game room, a media room that’s basically a mini theater, and the other six are just bedrooms. Xylia stays here a lot with me and she picks a different room to stay in each time. Merrick and I finally reach my bedroom door and it feels like an eternity walking all this way in silence, but I was trying to plot my escape.
“Which room would you like to be yours, Merrick?” I ask.
“Whichever one is closest to you,” he says with a slight grin.
“I don’t think you will approve of that room because the closest room to mine is the pink one,” I laugh. I can just imagine him taking residence in a pink room. The other warriors would never let him live it down.
He shakes his head and grins.
“I know it’s pink.” He gives me a sly smile. “Remember a few years ago when I refused to help you paint that room because of it?” He raises his eyebrows in question and I shake my head in memory of that fun-filled day. Xylia and I tried so hard to get him to help paint that room. Xylia even offered to flash him if it would get him to help, but he still refused.
“I just wanted to see what you would say about me taking that room. I’ll stay in the one across the hall.”
That’s actually the only room he helped paint. I call it the “blueberry room.” The whole room is a mixture of shades of blue. There’s a king size bed that would be perfect for him, and a huge bathroom that could shower the whole army at the same time. I guess he knew a long time ago that the room would be his someday. He can be so arrogant sometimes.
“Calista.”
I turn to look at him and his face is weary. His voice sounds unsure. He grabs both of my hands and looks down at the floor. I lower my head to peek up at his face.
He finally lifts his head and says, “Do you mind if I come in and we talk for a little while?”
“Sure,” I say as I lead him into my room. “What do you want to talk about?”
I have a feeling it might not be something I want to hear, but I have a little bit of time before I have to meet Ryder. I open the door and he walks in behind me. He strides across my bedroom to stand in front of the huge bay window. The sprites are in full force tonight with their twinkling lights floating and flying everywhere. Sprites are tiny fae creatures that are the size of large insects. At night, their bodies glow like fireflies. It is fun to watch when they are out and about, and I’ve I watched them for hours at a time sometimes. They help Meliantha out in the flower gardens by eating the unwanted pests and plucking the weeds from the flower beds.
I have a sinking feeling in my stomach because Merrick is being unusually quiet and he has his back is to me so I can’t see his face. He’s dressed in warrior gear and golden armor. He looks like a golden angel, whereas, Ryder looks like a dark angel. They are two different men from two different worlds. His shoulders move up and down with his breathing. He’s been through so much tonight and I know he’s tired. I move up behind him and put my arms around him.
He still hasn’t answered my question about what he wants to talk about so I’ll just ask again.
“Please, Merrick, tell me what’s bothering you.”
He lets out a deep breath and says softly, “Why are you shielding your thoughts from me? We’re supposed to be connected and I need to know how you feel in order to protect you. I’m here for you and…” He says the rest silently, “I want you to
need me.”
I hold him tighter and squeeze my eyes shut. I can hear his heart pounding in his chest while laying my head against his back.
He reaches up to hold my arms and I say tenderly, “Merrick, I do need you. You are my guardian now and we’ve been the best of friends for years. You have always been there for me, and I for you. I will always need you.”
He unfastens my arms so he can turn around to face me. His gorgeous blond hair is thick and sweeps across his forehead where it partially covers his right eye. I lift my hand to move it out of the way. He grabs my hand and holds it to his face. He closes his eyes for a few seconds, but when he opens them, his eyes bear into mine and I can’t look away.
“I love you.”
I close my eyes because the words are what I feared I would hear. I don’t want him to see the pain in my eyes because he means so much to me. To hurt him in that way is going to break my heart. I just wish I could love him.
“I heard that, Calista,” He says this with an arrogant smirk on his face, but the hurt is clearly hidden underneath all that armor.
“Dammit, now do you see why I shield? I didn’t want you to hear that,” I say as I turn and walk away. He grabs my arm before I have a chance and turns me back to face him.
He holds me in place and stares into my eyes.
“I’m going to say this again. I love you, Calista, and I always have. You can’t tell me you didn’t know.”
I look at him with tears in my eyes and my voice shakes when I speak.
“I assumed you did, but I didn’t want to face it. I do love you, but not in that way. You’re my guardian now and we can’t complicate things like this.”
He takes both my hands and kisses the palm he had to slash in the ceremony.
“If you would just let me love you,” he says as he moves closer so our bodies are touching. “It would make me the best guardian in history. I could watch over your body day,” he lifts my chin and moves his lips closer to mine, “and night.”
His lips close over mine in a gentle caress. I’m shocked by it and I’m not sure what I should be feeling. I feel no passion to reciprocate the kiss so I stand there hoping he will pull back, but he pulls me closer to him and I begin to feel trapped. His kiss becomes frantic and possessive and his emotions are coming at me full force. The love and longing he has felt for me all these years are blasting through my mind. It’s too much and it’s making me dizzy with all of his thoughts plaguing my mind. He doesn’t let me go and his lips are aggressively taking over mine. I try to pull away, but he holds on tighter. It’s getting hard to breathe and I start to panic. Anger is starting to settle in my gut and I know he would never intentionally hurt me, but this is going too far.
“Merrick! Please let me go. I don’t want to do this. I do love you, but you have to let me go. NOW!”
My pleading and angry outburst breaks the trance and he pulls away from me abruptly then bows his head, ashamed of his actions. He kneels and apologizes over and over.
“Calista, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Our connection is so strong and the emotions just got too much to handle. I thought there could be a chance for us now that I’m your guardian.” He pauses. “Please tell me you’ll at least give me a chance,” he pleads. A tear escapes his eye and my heart goes out to him. I felt the love he feels and it’s a genuinely pure emotion he feels for me. I kneel to him and put his face in my hands. My anger dissolves and I try to lighten the mood by using my smart ass ways to break the tension.
“Don’t worry, Merrick. We still have training tomorrow morning. I can kick your ass to pay you back,” I say with a smile, hoping he will cheer up. He tries to smile back, but I can tell it’s forced. He gets back on his feet and wipes the tears off his face with the back of his hand.
“Yes, you can. I am so sorry about tonight. All I ask is that you please think about what I’ve said.” Before I can comment he puts his finger to my lips to stop me. “Please, don’t say it. I know you don’t feel as strongly for me as I do for you, but one day you might.” His expression looks hopeful and I can’t help but feel guilty because I know my feelings won’t change. “We are going to be together for hundreds of years, well, if nothing happens during that time. But we’ll be side by side. If you don’t choose me, I’ll eventually get over it, but please give me a chance.”
He lets his finger slowly leave my lips and he kisses my cheek before walking to the door to open it. I am speechless and I have no clue how to break it to him gently that giving him a chance will never happen. He turns to look at me once more and without saying the words I hear them.
“Goodnight, Calista. I’ll see you in the morning and will not bother you any more tonight. Remember, I’m just across the hall if you need me. Sweet dreams, Cali.”
I smile warmly at him and say, “Sweet dreams, Merrick, my guardian.”
He gives me one last smile, opens the door and then shuts it silently. I walk to the door and lean against it, totally confused as to what has happened. I had actually let Merrick kiss me. I did try to pull away, but I also know I didn’t put any full force into it. I don’t want to give him the wrong idea, but I just blew the hell out of that one. What am I going to tell Ryder? Or better yet, should I tell him? The kiss didn’t mean anything to me and I can honestly say I didn’t kiss him back. I just stood there in shock.
A knock on the door breaks me from my silent scolding and I open the door to find Xylia there jumping up and down with excitement. She rushes in my room without an invite and I look at her like she’s lost her mind.
“What are you so happy for?” I ask.
Prancing around my room she says in a sing song voice, “Guess what I found out tonight? I found out that my best friend is having a secret rendezvous with a certain Winter Court Prince. Am I right on that?”
I shut the door quickly.
“Be quiet or Merrick will hear you, and yes I am meeting Ryder tonight,” I hiss. “How did you find out about that?”
“Ryder pulled me aside and told me. He said he might need my help for a distraction, but it looks like you might not need me. What happened to Merrick?” She asks.
I groan and flop onto my bed. Xylia joins me and we lay in silence for a few minutes.
“Was it that bad?” Xylia asks.
“You have no idea. He finally confessed his feelings tonight and told me he loved me.” I look over at Xylia and she doesn’t seem surprised. I should have known she wouldn’t be.
“He kissed me, too. I mean he really kissed me and I had to make him stop,” I say sadly.
Xylia jumps off the bed and goes straight for the door.
“How dare he do that to you. What the hell was he thinking? I’m going to take his greasy lips and yank them over his fucking head,” she screams. I grab her before she gets to the door and turn her around.
“It wasn’t like that, I promise,” I say as I try to calm her down. “You know very well I can take care of myself. I’m stronger than you, Xylia, remember?” I stand up straight and lift my chin high in the air. In a mock exaggerated voice, I joke, “I am the all-powerful Princess. Nothing can take me down.”
This gets her to laugh and she comes back to the bed to lie beside me. I sigh heavily and explain the situation to her.
“He had so many emotions built up inside of him and he just let them go. The passion was unbelievable and it was overwhelming. I just wish I felt that way in return.”
Xylia interrupts me and asks curiously, “Is he a good kisser?” I knew she would ask something like this, so I sit up and hit her upside the head with my pillow.
“Ah!” She cries, flipping off the bed and landing with a loud thump, laughing the whole way. She sits up rubbing the side of her head and hiccupping from laughing so hard.
“Ow, you’re supposed to beat up on Merrick, not me.”
I bend over the side of the bed and smile at her.
“See, I told you I could take care of myself,” I tease.
Xylia smir
ks and replies, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get you back for that.”
I wink at her and lie back on the bed. She climbs back up to join me.
I say, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s going to be with me for as long as we live and if I choose another man, he’s going to be right there witnessing it all. I’ll feel guilty, always.”
Xylia reaches over and grabs my hand, “Merrick will move on one day. It may take a while, but eventually, he will. I’ve seen you with Ryder and I watched you two dancing tonight. I can visibly see the connection between you.”
I sigh remembering what it felt like to be in his arms. I loved dancing with him because it gave me the chance to get close to him. I really can’t wait to see him without all the prying eyes later.
I look at Xylia sheepishly.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” She looks at me excited and urges me to continue. “When Ryder and I touched tonight, I had a vision….and I remember it.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t remember what you saw?” She says in disbelief.
“Oh no, Xylia, I remember everything I saw and so does Ryder.” She waves her hand for me to continue so I do.
“When he told me he remembered what he saw, we both decided to meet in private to discuss it. We haven’t even talked about it with each other yet. In the vision the leaves are all different shades of color. Not green like it is here and definitely no other place I have been. The air is breezy and cool and I’m with somebody. I’m holding his hand, but I can’t really see his face. I’m almost positive it’s Ryder. The land feels different when I touch it, but it also feels familiar, like it’s mine. The love I feel for the man in my vision is beyond anything you could ever imagine. His power matches mine and the land belongs to us.”
I look over at Xylia, and her mouth is wide open. I think she is just as shocked with my vision as I am.
“You have to talk to Elvena about this. Do you think this has something to do with the prophecy?” I shrug my shoulders and she continues.