by Linda Warren
“Ruger.” Remi moved closer to him. “Mom told me a lot about what happened back then.” She reached around and lifted Ruger’s shirt.
Miss Bertie gasped.
“Did a good man put those marks on your back? Mom said they were from his belt. You were always trying to protect her and then you’d get the beating. And there were a lot of times she had to pull him off you because you’d done some silly little thing like forget your coat at school. He wasn’t a good man, Ruger. That’s what Uncle Ira wants you to believe.”
Ruger paled and seemed speechless.
“Jude has a scar on his forehead where a bullet grazed him,” Paxton said. “It was confirmed at the hospital that he’d been shot at. My brothers didn’t fall off the horse. Your father tried to kill them. It’s public record. You can read it down at the courthouse.”
Ruger shook his head. “I don’t know. Uncle Ira...”
Remi put her arms around her brother and hugged him. “Uncle Ira lied.”
“I’m so confused. I have to go.” Ruger hurried toward the front door, but Miss Bertie caught up with him and hugged him, too.
“You’re always welcome here.”
After Ruger left, Paxton said, “I have to go, too. Can we talk first?”
She looked at him, her eyes sad, much as they had been the day he’d met her. So many emotions churned inside him, but above everything he wanted things to be right between them.
“No.” She shook her head. “We don’t need to talk. I overreacted. I was just disappointed that your brother thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Aw, Remi.” He moved closer to her. “It was just the opposite. He doesn’t think I’m good enough for you. Phoenix and I have traveled the circuit for a lot of years and lived a rather rough life on the road. There were many women and many one-night stands. He doesn’t think you’re the type of girl for a one-night stand. And he’s right.”
“I’m not that naive, Paxton.”
“In some ways, you are.”
She pointed a finger at him. “You don’t know the type of life I’ve led. I’ve been around, too.”
He bit her finger. “You’re lying.”
“If you do that again, I’m going to smack you.”
“Bite me.” He smiled into her angry eyes.
She took a couple steps forward and stood on her tiptoes to bite his chin. Soft and lightly as if she didn’t want to hurt him. He laughed.
“What? You said to bite you.” She cocked her head to the side as if she was trying to measure him up and then she did something unexpected. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested against him. He melted like ice on a hot day. He’d never met anyone quite like her.
“That better be a goodbye hug,” Miss Bertie said as she came into the kitchen.
“It is, Gran.” Remi turned to her grandmother. “Can you believe Ruger came over?”
Miss Bertie glanced at Paxton. “I think it has something to do with Handsome here. Ruger finally heard the story in a way that he could understand. It’s going to take him a while to believe the truth.”
“I have to go,” Paxton said, knowing it was time for him to leave. The women needed some time alone. But he hesitated. He wasn’t clear about his and Remi’s situation.
Remi smiled at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“You bet.” That was all he needed to hear. She wanted to see him again. He walked out the door feeling good about the day and about Remi.
* * *
THE REST OF the week went smoothly, but they both were very aware that Thursday would be goodbye. Paxton would leave for the rodeo circuit and Remi would return to Houston.
They spent most evenings on the porch swing, necking like teenagers. Paxton always stopped when things got heated. He wanted her, but he wasn’t really sure if Remi was ready for an intimate relationship, especially since they would be parting ways on Thursday. That wasn’t like him at all. He always took what he wanted. But Remi was someone special and he wanted their first time to be special. The times with her made him feel young and alive again, full of vim and vigor. He took a lot of cold showers. Rico laughed at him. He never felt happier in his whole life.
Thursday night arrived faster than he wanted. He and Remi stood outside by his truck in the moonlight, holding on tight. He just wanted to go on kissing her forever. She rested her forehead on his chest. A frog croaked from the pond and the whoo whoo of an owl broke into the silence of their feelings. A peaceful country evening, but inside Paxton was hurting.
“I’ll miss you,” she murmured.
“Me, too.” He didn’t want this to be goodbye.
They were silent for a moment as Paxton leaned against his truck, holding her. He never dreamed that leaving would be this hard.
“Good luck on the circuit,” she whispered into his chest.
“Thanks. And good luck with therapy and Annie. I hope it all works out for you.”
“I’m prepared now for whatever happens. Thanks to you.” She patted his chest, her hand lingering longer than necessary. She looked up at him and even though it was dark he could see her green eyes in the moonlight. Not clearly, but enough.
Stepping away from him, she said, “Take care of yourself. I’ll never forget you.”
She walked away with Sadie before he could find words. His throat was dry, yet his hands were clammy. He forced himself to get in his truck and drive away.
He didn’t know a lot about change, but he knew one thing—whatever had happened in the last few weeks had turned him into a different person. He wasn’t ever going to be that playboy again. Or the ladies’ man. He wanted more and he was so afraid he’d just left it behind.
* * *
REMI WAS UP early the next morning and had her car packed by eight o’clock. She and Gran managed to get her stationary bicycle in the back of her SUV. She tried not to think about Paxton, but he was right there with every breath she took. It would take a while to forget him. If ever.
She lingered, talking to Gran and hoping Ruger would come by. She wanted to say goodbye.
“So you said goodbye to Handsome?”
Remi placed the last of her things in a suitcase. “Yes. I’ll never see him again, but I’ll remember him. I’m going to see my lawyer as soon as I get back to Houston and let her know how much I’ve improved. I’ve already called my therapist/trainer and he’s scheduled me for appointments. My focus now is totally on Annie.”
A knock sounded at the front door, interrupting them. Gran jumped up to open the door. Ruger walked in and Remi hugged him. “I’m so glad you came back.”
“Gran said you were leaving today and I wanted to see you.” He was clean-shaven once again and he was looking more like the old Ruger. “I wanted to tell you not to call my cell. Uncle Ira checks it all the time. I’ll come see Gran and I’ll call you from here.”
“Ruger, why don’t you just move away? You can live here with Gran.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied sharply.
She hugged him again. “We love you and Mom does, too.”
“I have a lot of thinking to do.”
Remi didn’t push him. The fact that he was here was a big step forward. She said goodbye and got in her car and drove away. She hated to leave Gran, but she knew her grandmother was very strong and had a lot of friends in Horseshoe who would look out for her, especially the Rebels.
She made it to her parents’ house in time for lunch. She was surprised to see her dad’s car in the garage. He usually didn’t have time to come home during the lunch hour. She paused for a moment to gaze at the two-story colonial-style home she had grown up in. There was a pool in the backyard and she’d had every luxury there was. She’d never wanted for anything. But Horseshoe, Texas, was always at the back of her
mind. Even though she was a baby when the tragedy had happened, she knew it had affected everyone in her family.
In the kitchen, her mom and dad were eating. “Hey, hey, I’m home.”
Her mother jumped up to hug her. “Look at you. You’re walking with a cane. You resisted that when the doctors mentioned it.” Everyone said she looked like her mother, but she never thought so. Her mother was beautiful and Remi paled in comparison. Her mother was taller and blonde and outgoing, getting involved with a lot of charities and events at the hospital.
“A handsome cowboy changed my mind.”
“What’s this?” Her dad gave her a bear hug. Of medium height with graying brown hair, her dad was a kind and caring man. So many times she’d cried on his shoulder when things went wrong in her life. She grew up thinking he could fix everything. She couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to be raised by Ezra McCray.
She slid into a chair. In her late teens she’d been reluctant to share her life with her parents because they were so protective. But the accident, ironically, had improved their relationship. Her parents now listened instead of ordering her not to do something and she felt comfortable sharing with them. She told them about Paxton.
They glanced at each other, but neither said a word. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not seeing him again. He’s back on the rodeo circuit.”
“Sweetheart.” Her mother hugged her from behind. “Did it bother you that he was part of the Rebel family?”
“At first it did. But then I got to know him and I could see he was a very nice man.”
“You seem to like this young man a lot.” Her dad took a seat, his eyes on her.
“I do,” she admitted. “But, you know, he’s a Rebel and I’m a McCray. And we live very different lives. Plus, there’s my health. There are just so many things standing in our way. So, you don’t have to worry. I’m going to concentrate on my therapy and Annie.”
She couldn’t leave without letting her mother know there was a change in her brother. She told her the whole story about Ira and Ruger and the shooting, and Ruger coming back.
“Ruger actually listened to Paxton Rebel?” her mother asked, excitement in her voice.
“Yes. He finally heard the story from someone other than Uncle Ira. He’s confused right now. We just have to wait.”
“I’m beginning to like this cowboy of yours.”
Remi was happy about that. But she knew in her heart there was no future for them.
* * *
PAXTON WAS UP early and had his truck and travel trailer packed and ready to go. In the next few days he would try to put Remi out of his mind because rodeo now came first.
Then he went over to see Quincy and Jenny because he probably wouldn’t be home for the birth of their child and he wanted to wish them the best. Next he went to the office. Everyone had already left, except his mom, who was at her desk. He had to say goodbye to his mom. It was something he and Phoenix had always done.
Her eyes lit up when she saw him. “I thought you’d forgotten.” She came around the desk and hugged him and he was reminded once again how strong his mother was, holding them all together with her love and strength. They had disappointed her at times, but she always forgave them.
“I’ll see you in a couple weeks. I’ll call when I’m on the way home.”
“Son?”
He looked back. “Bertie said you and Remi were getting really serious.”
He was hoping to avoid the subject. “Yeah. We like each other. We seem to have a connection, but she’s going back to Houston and I’m hitting the circuit. I probably won’t see her again.” The thought made his stomach ache.
“Do you want to?”
More than anything on this earth.
“I’ll let you know when I get back. Once I’m away from her and back in my old lifestyle maybe all these—” he put his hand over his heart “—feelings will disappear.”
“It doesn’t work that way, son.”
He looked at her. “You’re very calm about this.”
“I learned my lesson with Phoenix. You can’t stop love. I wish she wasn’t a McCray, but I can’t change that.”
“Ah, Mom.” He put an arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry if all this is hurting you.”
She patted his face. “I want what I want for all my sons. I want you to be happy.”
He nodded and went out the door. Cole and Dakota arrived and they were off for a season of rodeoing. They took Paxton’s truck because it had a hitch for the travel trailer and he liked to drive.
Cole had the radio turned up loud so there wasn’t much talking except for Dakota laughing that his brother had given up bull riding after one ride. Dakota settled back and went to sleep. Another typical day in rodeo life. Once they arrived in Glen Rose, they parked the trailer and hooked up to electricity. Then they went to sign in and get their numbers. After that, they had a little time to look around and rest before the rodeo tonight. Cole and Dakota were off with their friends. Paxton didn’t care to go and sat on the stoop of the trailer and wondered if Remi had made it back to Houston. He had to stop thinking about her. He got up and went inside to work on his bull rope. Everything had to be just right, the way he wanted. A lot of cowboys bought their ropes, but Jude had helped Phoenix and Paxton make their own. The braided rope had to be tight and secure and the handle had to be big enough to just hold his right hand, giving him enough space to hold on for eight seconds. Keeping the rope clean was a big deal. He used a wire brush and glycerin soap. He never forgot to clean his bull rope before storing it away.
With this duffel bag in his hand, he walked over to the arena. It was coming alive as people filled the stands and the smell of popcorn and hot dogs made him realize he hadn’t eaten lunch. Country music played in the background and the smell of manure and bulls perfumed the air. It was rodeo time.
He wore his red shirt, like always. It was a trademark for him—his lucky charm. He found when he wore the red shirt he always made the eight-second ride. He shook hands with old friends that had been around the circuit. Suddenly someone slapped him on the back.
He turned around and the young boy held out his hand. “You’re Paxton Rebel. I’ve watched you ride for years. I’ve learned from you and this year I’m going to kick your butt.” Barron Flynn stood in front of him as arrogant as any twenty-year-old could be. He’d made a name for himself riding some tough bulls and he was working his way toward the title.
“If you’ve learned anything from me, you know I don’t brag. Good luck.” He walked away with his duffel bag.
“Hey,” Barron called after him. “I was only joking.”
Usually he would’ve handled that differently, but he wasn’t in a joking mood. He had lost the Paxton who had joked and laughed and fooled around. He didn’t want to be that drunk cowboy who was just out for a good time. And that was the way he had been at most rodeos. This year it was for real. Just like Remi.
The cowboys stood on the deck, waiting for their turn. Cole got bucked off and Dakota scored an eighty-four. Barron was ahead of Paxton, who was the last cowboy to ride. Barron had drawn War Horse. The bull was rank and it would take some experience to ride him. Paxton leaned on the railing, watching. War Horse flew into the arena bucking and turning, and still Barron stayed on. He scored an eighty-six, the highest of the night. A knot formed in Paxton’s stomach as he climbed the rails to ride Ornery Cuss. He had never ridden the bull, but he’d studied him in videos.
Carefully, he slid onto the bull’s back. Cole and Dakota helped him to adjust the bull rope. Dakota handed him a lump of rosin and he broke it in his gloved right hand and worked it into the handle of the bull rope and into the glove for a tight grip.
“Ready?” Cole asked.
At this point, Paxton shut everything out. The voices, the noise, t
he crowd, everything. Even Remi. He raised his left hand in the air and nodded. The gate flung open and Ornery Cuss burst into the arena, kicking out with his back legs and flinging his head in the air, doing everything he could to dislodge his rider. But Paxton held on and when the buzzer went off, he jumped off and ran for safety. He climbed over the railing and waited for the score. The knot in his stomach got bigger. When eighty-seven popped up, he raised a fist in the air. Beating the young kid was a good feeling. But he’d have to beat him tomorrow night, too, to win the rodeo.
The first night came to an end and the cowboys packed up their gear. Cole came charging toward him almost out of breath. “Hey, there’s some girls outside and they want to know if we want to party tonight.”
“I’m in,” Dakota said, as did several other cowboys.
Cole looked at him. “How about you?”
He picked up his duffel bag. “Not tonight. I’m going back to the trailer.”
“What! The girls asked for you. You have to go.” Cole was persistent.
Paxton shook his head. “Not interested.”
Cole placed his hands on his hips. “There’s something wrong with you. You’re not the old Paxton.”
Paxton smiled. “Exactly.” He walked away, leaving stunned faces behind him.
He went to the trailer, took a shower and lay on his bed. The trailer was small, but good enough for what they needed for the circuit. It had one bedroom, a small kitchen, a bath and a living area. The sofa made into a bed and that was where Cole and Dakota slept.
Stuffing pillows behind his head, he heard his phone. He leaped for his jeans, looped over a chair, and found it. It was his mother. His heart sank. He’d hoped it would be Remi.
“Hi, Mom.”
“I know it’s late, but I wanted to let you know Jenny had the baby. A six-pound beautiful Martha Kate. She looks just like Jenny.”
“Is everyone okay?”
“Jenny and baby are fine. Quincy is happier than I’ve ever seen him in his whole life. He won’t let go of the baby. He carries her around the room, talking to her. Everyone’s here. We miss you. Elias is trying to get Grandpa to go home and I’m sure Grandpa will cause a scene. He doesn’t want to leave.”