“Mmm. That was probably your fault.” She looked away and towards the ground.
Suddenly, there was another thread, and I had to unravel the sweater.
“What did you do, you little shit stirrer?” I asked jokingly.
“Okay, fine. I might have said something to get her on track for the dance, but you started it.”
“Bullshit,” I protested.
“Shut up. Grace saw you this morning going through chicks’ profiles on your phone. Then she saw you holding hands with that new girl tonight. She doesn’t know that pussy was for the prospect. Our little Grace was cool until the phone, then she was not happy. Now that I know you watched her get off today, it makes more sense.”
“Damn it. She got pretty bent, huh?”
“Meh. She’s getting more attached and trying not to, but it definitely bothered her this morning. That shit with Susan had her riled up for sure. How better to get your attention than by taking her clothes off in a room full of brothers?” Marley asked slyly and I felt my blood pressure skyrocket.
“¡Dios mío, Marley! ¿Qué coño? Do you know what those guys would do with a girl like her?”
Marley rolled her eyes. “Oh stop. You wouldn’t have let anything happen to her. Mutual jealousy can do wonders. I was just teaching her the art of the brotherhood. You have feelings for her or are you just messing around?”
“You’re an asshole. I gotta go band-aid that shit. No wonder she wanted to leave with the two of you in her ear all the time.” I walked away, leaving her next to her car to grab Grace from Tatum’s house. God knows if there would be anything left of either of them by the time I got there.
As scrappy as Tatum was, it warmed my heart knowing my girl could keep up with her.
Whoa, wait, what?
I stopped mid-step as the words repeated in my head on a loop.
My girl?
I hadn’t had one of those in . . . ever. Pussy came easy to the club, even when we were young. Everyone knew girls dig the bad boys, and we were raised from the cradle to be exactly that.
I hadn’t slept with anyone since Grace landed on my doorstep, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t.
I just hadn’t had time.
Yeah, right.
We needed fresh blood. The regulars had lost their appeal.
Bullshit. You didn’t even look twice at Susan.
All right, fine. I could admit to myself that she calmed something that hadn’t been silent in a long time. What would I do when she left?
Grace, the angel, saw something in me that she actually liked for more than the MC. Over the years, the women around us were either related, trying to score drugs, or screw their way into protection from the club. Grace didn’t see the patch, she liked the man.
“You’re welcome!” Marley yelled out her window as she passed. I flipped her off and her laugh was heard softly over the sound of her engine as she sped away.
“I’M DONE WITH THIS CRAZY town.”
“You are the biggest baby I’ve ever met.” Tatum rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, well, you’re a raging bitch,” I volleyed back.
She shook her head. “I don’t know what he sees in you. He needs someone strong. Not a sniveling little girl.”
“What did I ever do to you? You’ve had it in for me since the day I broke down in the street. Why do you people hate me?”
“By people, you mean Royal?”
“Yes!” Even as I said it, I could feel my phone vibrating in my purse. Kit. It was all coming back to her. I leaned down and dug into my bag, pulling out the little piece of plastic. Tatum turned into her driveway and switched off the truck. I put my hand on her arm to stop her from bolting out of the door.
She pulled her arm away from me forcefully and I sighed, holding the phone out to her. She looked at it warily, hesitant to take it. Finally, she pushed her shoulders back and snatched the phone, flipping it open quickly.
I heard her breath stall over the tick of the engine cooling. When she was done scrolling the texts, I was shocked to see actual tears in her eyes.
“Can we call a truce?” I asked. She nodded, handing the phone back but staring at it in my hand, not making a move to leave the truck.
“You didn’t tell us this whole time.”
“She made me promise not to. I think she really needs this time away. But she’s safe.”
“You haven’t even told Tread?”
“No one but you,” I answered quietly.
“I was mad at you for taking over her life, just stepping in, and then my brother, too.”
“That’s the way Kit wanted it. I’m serious about not staying here, though. Harvey is a loose cannon. I just want to get out of the loony bin.”
“That’s something you’ll have to discuss with my brother. Come on, we need to hash this out over some food. I’m starving.”
After Tatum opened two bottles of beer and started her grill, she took out chicken wings from the refrigerator and tossed them in a bowl with spices. Thirty minutes later, we were elbows deep in bones and paper towels.
“Kit had a lot to live up to—and be stifled with—because of her dad, and who he is. I’m happy she got out. I just miss her, is all. I kinda wish she would have taken me with her.”
“Why do they still treat you like kids? Is it just the old guys? Because I saw the way the younger ones were watching us and they don’t agree with that.”
Tatum shrugged and tossed a bone into the pile at the center of the table. “It’s only happened a couple of times. If one of the brothers touched Marley, Kit, or me when we were under age, they would get transferred out. This charter, and the one on the Canadian border, are the most sought after locations in the MC.”
“Why is that?” I asked, licking a finger and taking a sip of my beer, trying not to wrinkle my nose. I thought it was an acquired taste.
Tatum studied me while she chewed for a long minute, saying nothing. Just as I thought she wouldn’t answer, she did. “There’s a lot of dynamics that aren’t apparent when it comes to an MC. Cogs are turning that no one is privy to. The story goes that they served in Panama together and saw how the cartels were running the government down there. They did research, pooled their money, and bought a piece of land for almost nothing, right on the border of their own country.
“They specifically picked the most unpatrolled, wide open space they could. The land is a triangle, with the border fence being the largest piece.” Tatum shrugged again. “Turns out, there was some oil on the site no one knew about. So if you hear the guys talk about going out to the well, they are. It’s just that they’re taking a shift, too.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“Yeah, I mean cartels send their mules with drugs worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. They aren’t too happy and we’ve caught heat before. That’s why the boys usually send the prospects to babysit us.”
“You know I thought I wanted an adventure before I got here. I actually prayed for it. What the hell was I thinking?” I shook my head.
Tatum smirked and tilted her head. You really regret coming here? Was life so great before you got here?”
“I can’t wait to get out of—” I broke off, hearing a loud engine pulling into the driveway. Tatum continued eating while I rubbed my mouth with a napkin, trying to make sure there was no leftover sauce on my face.
Tread knocked twice as he opened the door before making his way to the dining table. His leather creaked and the chain at his hip clanked on the wood sharply as he stole my beer and Tatum’s wings as he sat down. “What’s going on, ladies?” He looked between the two of us, digging in.
I leaned back and sighed. “I’m glad you’re here, Tread. I can’t stay here.”
“Well, you’re both still breathing, no blood anywhere. What’s the deal?”
“It has nothing to do with Tatum and everything to do with your boss, and the guns. My God, I’ve never heard so many shots in my life than I have since I got here.”
“Yeah, it’s been a bad week. I’m sorry if you got scared, but you shot a gun, too.”
“I shot a gun for the first time, trying to save a friend from being killed. I almost got killed at the vet’s office. Which reminds me, is Bella okay? Harvey didn’t have any consideration when he shot upstairs. All the more reason to leave.”
“Wait a minute.” Tread held up a hand and leaned back in his seat heavily. “Your dog is fine. I called mom at a stoplight on the way over. She said she was shaken up, and Mom took her home so she wouldn’t be alone. Now, what’s this about you wanting to leave?”
“I want to leave.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“You can’t.”
“Why? I’m not a prisoner.”
Tread cleared his throat then looked nervously at Tatum. “Can you give us a minute, Tate?” Tatum grabbed another beer from the fridge before walking out the back door towards the kennels.
“Babe. Okay, let’s look beyond the fact that Harvey specifically said you couldn’t leave until we found Kit. We haven’t found her yet, you have no car, nowhere to go, no money, and an unhealthy dog. Besides all that, I’m not ready for you to leave.” Tread bit his lip and played with a cigarette in his hand, but didn’t light it.
“I’m . . . You what?”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You . . . you’re different. Our little town is more of the same, day after day, year after year. I like having you around.”
“I like whatever it is we’ve been doing, but that’s not enough to get me to stay and potentially get myself or someone else dead.” I winced, only half-believing myself. No, I didn’t want to die. But also, no . . . I didn’t have anywhere to go and there was Tread with his kisses and orgasms right here.
Tread sat forward, putting his elbows on the table and shaking his leg. It moved the table slightly with each bounce of his knee. “Grace, I know things may seem difficult right now, but it’s not always like this. Let me take you back to your room.”
My eyebrows raised. “The room that can be broken into by anyone of the MC, or even a . . .what do you call them? A civilian? I don’t feel safe, Tread. This is what I mean. The brothers are barely civil, though they do tip well even though I suck as a bartender. I think that has more to do with them being flush with cash, though. Your VP doesn’t want to acknowledge I exist, and when he’s forced to he has to restrain himself from attacking me. I just need to go.”
“Grace.”
“No, there is no reason for me to stay. Why would I do that when I can get on a bus?”
“Grace, please. Hold on, let me think for a second. There has to be another way.” Tread let his hair down before smoothing it back up with a band. “What if we taught you how to shoot so that you can protect yourself?”
I started shaking my head before he was finished. “That won’t make the men respect me, or even the Doves for that matter. I’ll always be the outsider. I just don’t want to feel like crap for existing, which is how I’ve felt when I’m there and you aren’t around. If you take me to a bus stop, I think I have enough for a ticket. You’ll never have to babysit again.”
My breath hitched at the end, but I got the words out. As violent as these people were, they were a family. You would have to be blind not to see how close they all were. Having grown up in a big family, I never once felt as close to them as these people were to each other.
“I can’t, Grace. I would worry because you matter. Look, I know we barely know each other and I don’t even know exactly why I’m begging other than I have orders from Harvey, and I’ve never slept more than a few hours in years until I got in your bed. I never realized how tired I was until you helped me sleep. We already had Kit vanish. Don’t do that to me.”
“What? Kit and Royal have something so beyond what this is—”
“I know a way to keep you protected and not be treated like shit.” Tread lit his cigarette.
“You aren’t supposed to smoke in here. Tatum doesn’t like it.”
“She’ll get over it.” Tread stood up and began to pace, as if his nerves need more room to move. “You’re gonna be my old lady.”
Even though it wasn’t a proposal, or even a question, the gist was clear. My eyes went wide and I gasped. I knew a few things about the old lady title.
I knew as an old lady, Veesa and Lola by example, were treated like extensions of their husbands.
I knew the MC would be pissed, especially Harvey and Royal.
I knew that taking the title was as good as a marriage vow in this world.
None of the second generation had taken old ladies that I was aware of. For Tread to suggest it meant he must be desperate, but why? Because I helped him sleep? Surely in his trunk of meds there were sleeping pills.
I shook my head. “Tread—”
“It wouldn’t be permanent if it doesn’t work out, but you would move into my house, sleep in my bed. At least until Kit comes home. We wouldn’t have to get divorced or anything with the law, but it would be official in the eyes of the club. To disrespect you would be to disrespect me. It should improve your day to day while you’re here. That’s the only thing I can think to do.”
“You’re really that desperate to take a nap?” I asked incredulously.
“Grace.” Tread put his hands on my shoulders, leaning down to close his eyes when our foreheads touched. “Every time I close my eyes I see men dying, my friends and brothers in battle. Every single time. I wake up in a puddle of my own sweat reliving the most horrific moments of my life. Except two nights ago I slept in your bed for twenty-four hours straight. I’m guessing you left the bed at one point, because I woke up to a nightmare that morning and you were gone. Last night was the same. It’s like you’re keeping me sane. It’s probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever done, but I’m going to ask you, anyway. Don’t fuckin’ leave.”
I HADN’T FELT THAT WAY since the last memorial ceremony in Afghanistan. I felt like something was being ripped away from me.
That’s why I did it.
I needed her to be with me.
I needed her beside me.
I wasn’t foolhardy enough to deny that I was trying to fill a hole in my soul with Grace.
The reasonable part of me could shut the fuck up; I was going with what made me happy.
Right here, right now, that was keeping Grace within arm’s reach.
One fire out, one to go.
Walking outside, I found her lifting fifty pound bags of dog food into trashcans that were half her size.
“Let me help with that.”
“I’ve got it.”
“You have a minute for me?”
“I’ve given you some already today. You need another one?”
“Yeah, it’s lookin’ like that.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Look, Tatum, you’re probably going to bitch, but I need to run something by you.”
“What? If you tell me she’s pregnant, I won’t believe you.”
“The hell? No, we haven’t even gotten that far yet. I need you to let Grace borrow some stuff that she can wear to the saloon tomorrow. I’m not tryin’ to go back there tonight.”
“Why? You movin’ her in?” Tatum snorted, like it was the funniest shit in the world. She nailed it on the head, and by the way I was taken aback, I had already given it away. “Oh my fucking god. It was a joke. She’s just staying the night, right?”
“No, we aren’t there yet. Tate come on. Please don’t throw a fit.”
“Throw a fit? Am I still five?”
“Stop. I need this.”
“I still don’t understand why this week’s muse is moving in? That is what that silence meant, right? And what do you mean you aren’t hitting it yet? Are you saying you aren’t in it for the booty?”
“Tatum, knock it off. It isn’t like that. The connection with Grace . . . it’s different. I sleep better when she’s around. I breathe easier
when she’s next to me. I feel motivated for the first time in forever when I think of her.” I tried to get my point across, but it made no sense to my ears. We definitely had our mother to blame for our incoherent rants.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, confirming my previous thought.
“Life is hard enough without these demons inside my head, pulling Houdini’s when I’m not looking. Hitting switches in my brain while I sleep. I barely sleep anymore, I can’t eat, and until now I’ve been filling a hole inside of me with whatever pussy and booze I can get my hands on. Is that really what you would prefer for your brother than Grace? Do you hate her that much? I’m getting more peace from her than any drug or drink I can get my hands on, and I’m not even hittin’ it yet.” I smiled, that ought to ease the mood.
“Dirt bag.” Tatum flatly labeled me.
“Ha! It’s true, though. Since I’ve been back, I’ve been going through life half-assed. Other than Mom, you, the MC, I got nothing to pour my efforts into. No drive to put my life on the line to protect the border like it should be every time I’m out there. I didn’t realize it until recently, but I need more.”
“I understand, I guess. That’s how I feel . . . sometimes.” Tatum stared off into the trees for a long minute.
When she finally made eye contact again, I pulled her in to hug her close.
“I need this, Tate. Please. Help me.”
“Okay.” She paused. “At least Kit’s room will be hers again. That should help Royal ease up, too.” She took a long swig of her beer and started walking with me back towards the house.
“So you’ve got yourself an old lady, huh?”
“It’s lookin’ that way.”
“And you aren’t scared shitless? This is the big C word.”
“Tatum, we don’t say that word,” I scolded her with a smile.
“Not that one, asshole. Commitment. It doesn’t make you shake in your cut?”
“I live for the adrenaline, sis.”
“Figures.”
WHEN WE PULLED UP TO my house in my truck, my bliss washed away in a wave of fear.
Oh shit.
When was the last time I cleaned my room?
Tread: Biker Romance (Ronin MC Series Book 1) Page 18