Matt looked at Stella and said evenly, ‘It’s a beautiful Victorian house, on a quiet, secluded street. I chose it because of the wonderful period features; it’s close to the city and my office.’
‘Liar!’ Stella shouted. He looked at her with surprise.
She continued. ‘I think you chose it because it’s situated close to the water. Of all the houses in Dublin you could have chosen, you picked this one. That was deliberate, because you know how I feel about the sea.’
He never blanched at her accusation, he just took a drink from his bottle, then answered, ‘I never even thought about that.’
‘Liar! Yes you did. You wanted to keep me scared. You like me better when I’m nervous and afraid.’
‘You’re crazy. You’ve lost your mind,’ he spat at her. ‘Those nutters next door have made you go mad.’
‘I’ve never been more sane in my entire life. And thank God for the Bradys next door. They’ve saved my life. And, by the way, I’m leaving you.’ Stella forced herself not to flinch or look away.
He walked slowly towards her. Disbelief at first, quickly followed by scorn.
‘You’re not going anywhere. You have nothing. You are nothing without me.’
He truly believed that. He thought that little of her that he believed she couldn’t exist without him.
‘You know, I spent so long trying to please you, I suppressed my every need, to devote myself to you and yours. Every ounce of my energy was to make you happy. And why? To feel vital in someone’s life, to feel necessary, to feel loved. But you took advantage of that, Matt. You took advantage of my emotional state and abused your power.’
‘Abuse? Don’t be so ridiculous. I have done nothing but care for you. You were a fucking mess when I met you. Look at you now. Look at what you have. All because of me! Don’t give me that bullshit, playing the victim card.’ He slammed the island hard with his fist, so hard it shook the bowl of fruit that sat on top of it. A mango wobbled from the top of the pile and rolled towards the edge. Just before it reached there, he caught it and started to throw it from hand to hand as he paced the room, his eyes never leaving Stella’s.
‘Matt, I don’t want a fight. But I am leaving. And I’m not coming back.’
‘I told you. You. Are. Going. Nowhere.’
‘You can’t stop me, Matt. I won’t be bullied any more.’
‘Oh, here we go with the fucking bully card. Always pulled out by the weak of this world when they fail to get their own way. Boo hoo, poor me. I was in the tsunami. I lost my family.’
Stella stood rooted to the spot as he walked around her slowly, still throwing the mango fruit back and forth, back and forth.
‘A little bit of banter, teasing, the slightest fight or hurt and, all of a sudden, the world shouts bully! It’s the most misused and abused word of the last few years.’
‘That’s as maybe. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s what you are.’ Stella spat.
Stay firm. Don’t show any weakness. Then walk away.
‘If you ask me, the word, “bully” has been bullied,’ Matt replied, then laughed at his own statement. ‘If everyone is a victim, then none of us are victims.’
‘That doesn’t even make sense,’ Stella replied.
Matt stopped, just behind her neck, and once again, as she had many times before, she felt his breath there, promising her that payback would be swift and cruel for this breach of respect.
He saw her shiver and he walked around to face her, his eyes dancing with delight. He looked at the mango and took a step away from her. Then, with all his might, he threw it hard against her breast.
‘Is that bullying?’ he screamed and before she could respond, he picked up the bowl and threw it at her.
She looked at the door, that was her mistake, because he saw it and ran to it, closing it firmly, locking her into his prison once more.
‘Oh, I told you, you are going nowhere.’
Stella thought, ‘Hello Mr Hyde. There’s the real you. The mask is off and the true psychopath comes out to play.’
‘I am rather enjoying myself,’ he admitted.
‘Will you enjoy yourself in a prison cell? Because whatever chance you have of getting off the charges you already face, you’ve hurt me now and you are done for.’
That made him pause.
‘This is not love,’ Stella said.
She wiped away the juice from the mango that stained her blouse and moved to one of the seats beside the island. She sat down and turned to look at him. ‘I don’t know what made you into this thing you’ve become. But I can’t be part of it any more. I take some responsibility here. I let you treat me this way. I’ve thought about it for so long. Why? Why did I let you walk all over me? Why didn’t I leave when you hit me?’
Stella stood up and this time she walked around him, slowly, mimicking his age-old tactic. ‘I thought I didn’t deserve to live. That’s why. Why had I survived when thousands didn’t? When my family didn’t? So I took your abuse as some sort of penance. But no more. I am alive. You don’t want a wife. You want a doll. A living doll.’
Matt looked at her and for the first time, doubt was in his eyes. ‘I love you. I treat you like a princess.’
‘It’s not love, whatever this is, that’s most certainly not it. At first I liked having someone taking care of me. Worrying about what I ate. I wasn’t ready to be an adult when my parents died. I wasn’t ready to be alone. But that’s what happened. And years of running around the world, trying to avoid the reality of my loneliness, broke me. When you came along and wanted to take over, I thought, at last, I can stop and rest.’
‘You see. You’ve even said it. I saved you!’
‘No you didn’t! I nearly drowned that day on Patong Beach. But I fought and clawed my way out of the sea. But you … you’ve had your hand on my head ever since we got married. I’ve been drowning in our marriage. But no more.’
‘If you leave, you won’t last five minutes without me. You need me, Stella. Don’t ever forget that.’
‘Relationships aren’t about power. They are not about making someone a slave and prisoner. That’s what you’ve tried to do to me. And you almost succeeded. But I’m walking away. I choose life. And for someone who knows nothing, here’s a little bit of advice from me. Don’t ever underestimate me again.’
Stella pulled an envelope from her handbag and left it on the island. ‘Divorce proceedings have started. My solicitor’s details are in this. You can make this hard or easy. But my terms will be simple. You can keep this house. I don’t want it. I just want what I entered this marriage with. My parents’ house in Rathmines and the money I had left from their life insurance. As for your secret bank account, it’s all yours.’
Matt’s face, his look of surprise, made Stella want to cry out with jubilation. ‘Oh yes, I know about all of your bank accounts. When I called at your office I copied lots of interesting documents. My solicitor has them all.’
Stella stood up, took one last look around her, and walked out the door.
She hummed to herself, her favourite song. One more dawn, one more day, one day more!
But just as she reached the front gate, she heard a roar, and felt her hair yanked back so hard she fell backwards.
‘I told you, you’re going nowhere!’ Matt screamed. She tried to remember Luca’s classes and what he’d taught her. She had to use her body to get out of the situation. With a low-guttural grunt, she pushed her legs up high and kicked him in his abdomen. Then before she could continue, she heard screams coming towards her. Charging was a fierce Rea with a poker in her hand and Charlie beside her, with one of his stiletto shoes held high in the air.
‘You take your dirty hands off that girl, you hear me,’ Rea screamed and she hit him hard across his back with the poker.
The shock of the hit made him stumble backwards and Stella scrambled away from him.
Rea screamed, ‘Just give me a reason to shove this poker up your ars
e and I’ll gladly oblige you … you DICKHEAD.’
Matt lifted a hand, roaring at them both. ‘This is none of your business, you nut job. Fuck off. And you too, you fucking queer.’
‘Oh, it’s very much my business Dickhead.’ Rea held up the poker and drove down hard on his arm as he raised it up to her. He was too quick, though, and he caught the poker, twisting it from her hand.
‘That’s assault. I’ll sue you for every cent you have,’ He roared at Rea.
‘Oh no you don’t, big boy,’ Charlie said, throwing his shoe with perfect aim at his arm, the bang making him drop the poker. Charlie pulled Stella and Rea behind him. All six-foot two of him moved towards Matt and his eyes blazed in fury.
‘I know your type. You think you are champagne in a fancy crystal glass. But really, the truth of the matter is, that all you are is lukewarm piss in a chipped old mug.’
He leaned down and picked up his shoe and Rea’s poker. ‘Time you picked on someone your own size. This queer boy is not afraid of you and I’ll happily go ten rounds.’
Stella edged forward and moved between them. ‘Enough. Matt, you will not raise a hand to me or my friends, do you hear me? You walk in that door right now and close it hard behind you, making sure to get your story straight. Because I’m ringing the Gardaí. This is the last time you will ever hurt me.’
‘I called them ten minutes ago. Any second now, they’ll be turning up our road,’ Rea said. ‘I took an educated guess you’d need them. His type always resort to their fists, they know no better. As Charlie said, lukewarm piss.’
Matt went to run at her, but stopped when he heard sirens approaching.
‘That is what you call perfect timing. Let’s go.’ Rea smiled, grabbing Stella by her arm. ‘Don’t look back. Keep walking and never look back.’
So the three friends walked out the gate. Rea on one side of Stella, dangling her poker in the air, Charlie hobbling on one shoe.
‘You’re getting good at this being-outside lark,’ Stella said to Rea.
‘You needed me. My worry for you was stronger than any worry I had about being outside.’
And as they walked back inside number 72, Charlie said to them both, ‘At last, you’re both free.’
Chapter 54
Patong Beach, Thailand
26th December 2014
‘Looking at your watch won’t make them get here any sooner,’ Charlie said.
Stella stuck her tongue out at him. ‘It’s almost time.’
‘I know. They’re here, we know that. Luca said he and George checked into the hotel an hour ago.’
‘What would I do without you to keep me in check?’ Stella asked.
‘Best day of your life the day you came into my salon,’ Charlie said, then smiled as he saw their friends walking towards them. He nodded over Stella’s shoulder and she jumped up, screaming with delight.
‘Rea! You’re here!’ She couldn’t believe it. Rea had point blank refused to come to the anniversary ceremony. Yet here she was, standing in front of them.
Rea smiled beatifically at them all. ‘Of course I came. With a little help from a large gin and tonic, there wasn’t a bother on me.’
‘She snored loudly for the whole flight,’ Luca said, taking Stella into his arms. ‘Hello you. I like the hair.’
‘Hello.’ She smiled up at him, touching her new cropped hair-do. ‘I’ve been threatening to do it for a long time. Charlie obliged this morning.’
‘It suits you,’ Luca said.
‘Yes, I rather like it too,’ Stella replied. And even though it had been months since they’d seen each other, it felt like only yesterday.
‘Have you managed to track down your friends yet?’ Rea asked, taking her turn to hug Stella.
‘I found Alice. She’s here. She remarried a few years ago. That’s why I couldn’t find her when I looked. But she’d been looking for me too, for years! But of course, I’d changed my name too, so we were both coming up blanks.’
‘Wait till you meet her. She’s a feisty one,’ Charlie said. ‘She doesn’t let the fact that she’s only one leg stop her for a second.’
When she got home to the UK, despite everyone’s best efforts, the infection she’d suffered during the tsunami had done too much damage. The surgeon had no choice but to remove her leg from just below the knee.
‘You’ll meet her on the beach shortly. Anna and Corey didn’t come, they have two children now. She seems so happy, the doting grandmother! It was incredible seeing her again. And even more wonderful, I’ve found Maria Nolan too! She’s here with Kevin, Daisy and Alfie. Daisy saw me first of all. I didn’t recognise her when she ran up to me. But when she launched herself at me, hugging me tight, it was like the years just fell away and she was that little girl again, clinging onto me in the water.’
‘That must have been quite a reunion,’ Luca said.
‘We all had dinner together last night. It was really good to catch up on what happened after we left here. I’ve thought of them so much over the years.’
‘I’m so happy for you,’ Luca said. ‘You’ve worked hard trying to find them these past few months.’
‘It was another piece of the jigsaw …’ Stella said. ‘And while it was emotional seeing them, the memories, most of them harrowing, kind of helped too. They know what I went through back then. They are part of it. They understand.’
‘I’m happy for you. Here, let me get a good look at you.’ Rea looked at Stella with approval. ‘You’ve put some weight on. Much better. Don’t ever go back that thin again.’
‘It’s all that French food my Aunty Paula has been force-feeding me. She was determined to fatten me up.’
‘Are you happy living in France?’ Luca asked.
‘Happy enough. But it doesn’t feel like home. As it happens, I’ve decided to go back to Ireland when I leave here.’
‘Best news ever, as far as I’m concerned,’ Charlie said.
‘Well, speaking of news, I have something to share too,’ Luca said. ‘These past few months, I’ve learned how important and precious family is. So I’m moving home too.’
Rea’s face beamed with joy. George patted his son on the shoulder affectionately.
‘The family who moved into number 70, they’re a great lot. They have three kids, full of mischief. It’s good to hear giggles over that wall,’ George said.
Stella and Matt sold their house within a month of it going on the market. Matt was found guilty and sentenced to one year in prison, with a restraining order in place on his release.Their solicitors sorted out their separation agreement fairly quickly, mainly because Stella wanted so little. She simply wanted to keep her parents’ house. She’d had enough.
‘I think it’s time to go down,’ Charlie said. He was wearing a full-length emerald-green kaftan dress, with a turban over his hair, large gold earrings dangled against his cheek. He reached down and took his heels off, then held his hand out to Stella.
Since her move to France, he’d been a regular visitor, taking advantage of cheap flights whenever he could. They’d grown so close and once she accepted his invitation to be his little sister, their bond deepened. They spoke to each other every day, whether on email, text or on Facebook. She’d met his family and they were as wonderful as him. And, somehow or other, she knew Eli would approve.
When she told Charlie that she planned to return to Patong Beach for the ten-year anniversary, he didn’t wait to be asked, he just told her to book two tickets.
‘Ready?’ Luca asked.
She didn’t think she was, but she also couldn’t avoid the beach any longer. Watching it from her hotel bedroom, she fought to slay demons that danced around her. But perhaps the only way she could truly do that was when she placed her feet on the white sands of Patong Beach.
As the sand tickled her toes, the years stripped away and she was seventeen again. The sun set, casting golden shadows on the serene waters.
Ten years ago, she swore she would never
come back. But she’d found the strength, with a little help from her friends.
Since she and Charlie had arrived this morning, every corner she turned she expected to see her mam, dad and Eli. The sounds and the smells that were unique to this paradise evoked fresh memories.
And it was once more a paradise. The devastation of that time had been replaced with an idyll once again.
So many ghosts floated around her, caressing her cheeks as they spun, whispering her name. For many years, Stella had felt guilt that she’d survived. Why her? But now she knew better. As Rea said, why not her? She had as much right as anyone else had to be here. She was alive and she owed it to everyone who died on this beach, before their time, to live a full life.
Alice was there already, standing strong, using her husband to support her. Then she saw Maria and her family a little bit to the left, embracing each other. Maria smiled sadly when she caught her eye. They had experienced something on this beach that would connect them forever.
‘Well, I never. If it isn’t the fighting Irish. I heard you’d made it.’ Stella turned and laughed out loud at the Scottish lilt. Standing there was the woman from the rock, holding hands with her husband.
‘Nice to see you wore clothes today,’ Stella joked.
‘You too, Irish. You doing okay?’ Jill asked.
‘Getting there.’
They looked at each other, as they had ten years ago, and walked towards one another to embrace.
‘I’m so glad you made it,’ Stella said. ‘You saved my life.’
‘You can buy me a drink later,’ Jill replied. Then she moved back to her husband.
‘Have you found everyone you wanted to see?’ Luca asked.
‘No. I wanted to find some of the Thai hotel staff who helped me. And Sven and Dil. They were the two brothers who helped me a lot back then. But I don’t think they’re here either. I never knew their surname. Makes it tricky to search.’
She thought about the last time she saw them. Aunty Paula and she had come to the difficult decision that it was time to leave. Without Eli. So they went to the beach, one last time, to look for a miracle that never came. And then Sven and Dil appeared, as they always did, out of nowhere.
The Woman at 72 Derry Lane Page 31