“Ever wonder what capacity your brain is at?” the man sang over the busy crowd. “Come now and find out what you’re really made of! How ’bout you, young man?”
Simon glanced at the sign nearby. It mentioned something about not being held responsible for irreversible damage. “No, thank you,” he said politely.
They walked to a tiny booth covered with electronic gizmos and gadgets. The salesman was showing some little kids the newest R6005-1 calculator—the most advanced model of its kind.
“Not only will it help you solve just about every equation you can think of…” The man looked around suspiciously. “…But I can give you a software patch that will enable it to snoop into your teacher’s databases for possible test questions.”
“That’s a great idea, Salamoose. Why don’t you just teach them how to pickpocket their parents while you’re at it.”
“Oh, Mayor Gordon! I didn’t see you.”
“Obviously.”
The man who had just spoken wore a baseball cap with the image of an exploding spaceship embroidered on it. His tee shirt had the words “I Survived the Battle!” written across the front.
“Hello, Mayor,” Thorn said eagerly.
“Hello to you,” he responded. “You’re a Troodle, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am.”
“And you two must be our alien visitors. I’ve reviewed your biological scans. Nice to meet you, finally. I’m the mayor of Highland City.”
He shook their hands vigorously.
Thorn introduced them. “This is Simon and this is Butbla—ah, I mean, Konya.”
“It’s Tonya. With a T,” she said.
“Konya,” the mayor repeated. Tonya closed her eyes and shook her head. The mayor continued, “Well, I assume you’re not Lisardians. Here, have a souvenir. I’ve won so many prizes today I don’t know what to do with them all.”
He handed them some pillowcases with pictures of green aliens on them.
“I think they glow in the dark,” he said. “Well, I have to be off. You guys should have a look at the archaeological exhibit. It’s very interesting.” He started to leave but then turned back and said, “Salamoose, no more software patches. Understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Archaeological exhibit, huh?” Thorn mused. “Let’s go there next.”
“That sounds boring,” Tonya said, wrinkling her nose. “Why don’t we play some games instead?”
“All right,” Thorn conceded. “I guess we do have all day to go to the exhibit.”
They walked over to a table where a woman was placing large puzzle pieces in front of an old man. One after the other, she put the pieces down, but the man just couldn’t seem to guess what the picture was.
He kept saying, “Just one more piece.” And the woman would say in return, “That’ll cost you another doongle.”
“Some genius this guy is,” Tonya whispered to Simon. “It’s clearly a duck.” Simon nodded in agreement.
Only one piece remained, but the man was still clueless. “Can you give me a hint?” he pleaded.
“Sorry,” came the reply. “No more hints. You have to solve this one on your own.”
He clenched his fists and bit his lip. “I give up. What is it?”
She put the last piece down, and it formed a yellow duckling. The crowd around the table roared in surprise.
“You cheated,” the old man said. “You left the most important piece ’til the end.”
“Sorry, sir, that’s just how the game is played.”
Thorn shook his head and said, “This game’s too hard. Let’s find something else to do.”
“Are you kidding?” asked Simon. “A three-year-old could do this.”
Thorn snorted. “If you think you’re so smart, why don’t you give it a try?”
“I would, but you’d have to lend me some money.”
Overhearing his comment, the woman came to Simon’s rescue. “I’ll tell you what, young man. The first one’s on me.”
“Thank you. What are the rules?”
“You have to guess what the picture is within five puzzle pieces or else you’ll have to pay one doongle for each additional piece. Your prize is dependent on how many pieces have been placed when you guess correctly. I haven’t had anyone win yet without paying for extra pieces, but if you do win within the first five rounds, you can either collect a prize or go double or nothing.”
“That sounds easy.”
The woman smiled in response. From under the table, she pulled out a large puzzle piece and placed it on top of the red, glowing outline that appeared on the table.
“It’s a chicken.”
The woman opened her mouth in shock. “You won! I’ve never seen anyone win so fast before.”
Thorn laughed. “I can’t believe you did that! How did you know it was a chicken?”
Simon pointed to the puzzle piece and explained, “Those are chicken feet.”
“Okay, kid, double or nothing?” said the woman impatiently.
“Sure.”
She removed the piece and put another one on the table.
“It’s a rattlesnake.”
“Lucky guess! You did it again.”
“Simon, are you using magic?” Thorn asked in disbelief.
“Of course not. What other animal has a rattle on the end of its tail?”
“Well, I know of a few.”
The woman wrung her hands and shook her head. “Come on. Let’s go. Double or nothing?”
“Let’s do it again.”
“Okay, this time, no more animals.” She put another puzzle piece on the table.
“Uh, it’s a piece of rubber.”
“Ha! Wrong.”
She put another piece down.
“Wait a second. Thorn, remember that first night I ate at your house? Your dad was eating a giant spider and you dropped that big worm on the table. What was that thing called?”
“That was a gilaworm.”
“Gilaworm,” Simon told the woman.
She gritted her teeth. “You’re correct—again.”
“Hey, I thought you said you weren’t doing any more animals?” Tonya boomed.
The woman blushed. “Well, I was just trying to make the game more interesting. Double or nothing, kid?”
Simon continued to play the game while the crowd around him got larger and larger. “How does he do it?” one of the Puds asked. “He must be superintelligent,” another person answered.
The puzzles went on and on.
“A house.”
“The moon.”
“A tree.”
“A pair of socks.”
Simon was growing tired of the game, but everyone around him couldn’t seem to get enough of it. The woman put down the fourth piece of the current puzzle.
“Is it a castle?”
“Nope!”
The crowd moaned in disappointment as the woman placed the fifth puzzle piece on the location the table indicated it should go.
Thorn contemplated on the puzzle. “I can’t quite put my finger on it,” he said.
The crowd chanted, “Si-mon—Si-mon—Si-mon.”
It was all up to this piece now; if Simon didn’t guess correctly, he would lose everything. The boy thought for a moment and then smiled. “It’s the library.”
Everyone looked at the woman in anticipation. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The crowd remained silent, but their hearts raced. Finally, the woman opened her eyes and said, “Yes.”
The Puds cheered, while the woman gathered the pieces in a huff. “One more?”
Simon yawned and said, “No, I think I’m finished.”
“Just one more puzzle,” she urged.
“I’m tired of this game. I want to get my prize now.”
“You have enough points to get anything you want,” exclaimed Tonya.
“Then go ahead and pick something out for yourself,” he said.
“Really?”
“Y
eah, sure.”
Instantly, she reached for the necklace she had been eyeing throughout the whole game. “Are these real pearls?”
“Yes, but I didn’t intend to give that away,” the woman answered sharply. “I only had it there for show.”
“Really?” Tonya said, putting her hands to her hips in a threatening manner. “You know, Simon, I bet Mayor Gordon would love this game.” She turned to the crowd and asked, “Does anybody know where the mayor is?”
“All right, you little brat. Take it! I don’t want to see your faces here again.”
“Thanks for the game,” Simon said as they left.
“Wow, Simon, are you sure you weren’t using magic back there?” asked Thorn.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Then how did you get so smart all of a sudden?”
“It had little to do with being smart. Remember when we were explaining to you that to become an artist, you’d need to be able to look at things in a different way?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s the same thing with the game I just played. I was just using my imagination to fill in the blanks.”
“Oh… I don’t think I could do that. I guess my parents are right. Maybe I just need to stick with the cold hard facts of science.”
“Then you’ll never pass level ten on my video game.”
“What?”
“Yeah, in order to pass level ten, you’ll have to be able to see where the end boss is hiding. He keeps merging into the background of the scenery. That’s probably why you never found him.”
“You’ll have to show me later. You never did tell me what weapon—”
“Guys,” Tonya interrupted, “I think I’d rather go to the history exhibit than listen to you two talk about stupid video games.”
“All right, all right,” said Thornapple. “Let’s go to the exhibit.”
The museum contained old fossils and relics of the once magnificent civilization that inhabited the planet before the great battle had taken place. Broken computer chips were scattered everywhere, and old books, protected by glass cases, lined the walkway. Full-sized skeletons of both small and large Puds were held suspended in the air for all to see.
Tonya and Thorn left to go to the restrooms, leaving Simon to stare in awe at the huge projection screen above. A documentary about the Battle of Lisardious played on the screen.
“Hard to believe we were almost completely wiped out.”
Simon turned around to see a gray-haired man holding himself up with a cane. His deep-blue eyes were penetrating and serene, and his lower lip quivered as he spoke. “Our ancestors were much more advanced than we are today, but yet they couldn’t even overcome the Lisardians.”
“I was told that they won the battle.”
The old man snorted and waved his hand towards the dilapidated artifacts. “Does this look like the remnants of a people that were victorious?” Simon didn’t answer. “The Lisardians destroyed our world and left us for dead. To think of it! We had the power to transport ourselves to other galaxies. We were probably the most advanced planet in the entire universe, but the Lisardians still defeated us within a single day.”
Simon summoned the courage to ask the stranger a question. “Why do you think your people were destroyed so fast?”
“I think their pride got the best of them.” The man pulled out a small bag from his pocket and asked, “Would you like some chips? They give me gas.”
Simon looked at the bag of chips in the man’s shaking hand. The label on them read: Lisardian Crunchies. “Thank you,” he said, taking the bag half-heartedly.
At that moment, Tonya and Thorn showed up. “Did we miss anything exciting?” Tonya asked wryly.
The old man walked away to get a better look at one of the displays nearby.
“Who was that?” Thorn asked.
“Just some stranger I met. He told me your ancestors were more advanced than your people are today.”
“Well, that’s a prevalent theory, but I don’t know if I agree with it. I mean, take a look at this stuff. They were still using paper books back then.”
“Yes, but he also told me your ancestors were traveling to other galaxies.”
“Really?” Tonya asked with strong curiosity.
Thorn nodded. “Some of the writings our scholars translated talk about people from other planets, so we can assume the ancient Puds traveled to other solar systems.”
“Or other parallel worlds,” Tonya said.
“Uh, well, I guess that could be the case. I never thought of it that way. But wouldn’t that mean—”
“Exactly,” she said, getting excited. “That would mean, at one time, this planet had electro-magical energy on it!”
“Crazy! Simon, why don’t you see if you can read some of this stuff?”
Simon went from book to book. Because each manuscript was secured within a glass enclosure, he could only read bits and pieces. And what he could read was of little value. He skimmed through part of a romance novel and then went on to a cookbook and then to an instruction guide on origami.
Simon munched on his Lisardian Crunchies while he read. Despite the fact that they were cut into the shape of little aliens, the chips tasted quite good. After reading part of an old newspaper, he started to laugh.
“What? What is it?” Tonya asked impatiently. “Did you find something?”
“No, I was just reading this comic strip. It’s actually pretty funny. I guess I can say one thing, Thorn. Your people weren’t always so uptight.”
“Comic strip?”
“You know—the funny papers.”
Thornapple looked confused.
Tonya said, “I know what you’re talking about. It’s a bunch of made-up stories written with the purpose of making you laugh. We have something similar back home.”
“You’re kidding me,” Thorn said, gasping. “My ancestors used to make up stories so that people would laugh? I didn’t realize they were so… so… creative.”
“Wait a second,” Simon announced, looking at another comic strip. “This one talks about a shopping center on Paraworld 687.”
“Yeah, I’ve been there,” exclaimed Tonya. “They have the best mint truffles I’ve ever—” She paused. “Simon, do you know what this means?”
“What?”
Her hair turned orange. “We may be able to get off this horrible planet!” She hugged Simon with so much excitement, he almost fell out of his hover chair.
“But—”
“Keep reading!”
Simon obeyed. “This one mentions a king,” he noted. “Let’s see… King Pentagola.”
“Oh, he sounds familiar. Where’s my paratransmitter when I need it? I vaguely remember reading about him in my history books. The empire has had so many kings—it’s hard to keep track of them all. Keep reading, Simon!”
Thorn said with a laugh, “Out of all these ancient manuscripts, the only one that gives us any valuable information is the comic strips. I find that quite amusing.”
“That’s why they call them the funny papers,” Simon said. Tonya rolled her eyes at his feeble joke.
Simon continued to scan the newspaper when a crowd of teenagers filled the room. “Come on, big guy. Let someone else have a turn,” one of the young men said. Simon looked over his shoulder to see who the little Pud was talking to, but nobody was there.
“Go somewhere else,” Tonya said in a rude voice.
“We have the right to be here just as much as you do.”
“Yeah,” said another boy, “and we want to see this stuff before the museum closes.”
A surprised expression flashed across Tonya’s face. “Thornapple! What time is it?”
“Relax, the dance doesn’t start for four hours.”
“Four hours?” she screamed. “Four hours!” Simon and Thorn exchanged confused glances as she ran towards the exit. “Oh, no! I have to get ready!”
Chapter 17
The Dance
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nbsp; Tonya marched out of the museum with Simon and Thorn trailing behind. It wasn’t long before they reached their home. As Simon walked inside, a feeling of gloom descended upon him. Was this really his last day with the Troodles?
Thorn headed for the main bathroom located in the hallway between his bedroom and the dining room, but when he reached for the door, Tonya pushed him aside and rushed into the bathroom with a bundle in her hands. After thirty minutes, Thorn knocked on the door and asked, “What are you doing in there? Hibernating? Some of us need to use the bathroom too, you know. How much longer are you going to be?”
The door opened slightly, just enough for Tonya’s head to come into view. Her long green hair glistened, as if she had just come out of the shower.
“Cool it, buster! If you had three feet of hair, you’d take a long time too.” She shut the door before anybody could get a closer look at her.
“Sheesh! If I had three feet of hair, I wouldn’t have to bother wearing clothes.”
Simon cringed at the thought.
“You can use my bathroom,” Dr. Troodle said from the dining room.
“Do you think Mother would be okay with that?”
“Your mother is out with her friends tonight. I’m staying home so I can catch up on my reading.”
“Where’s Har?”
Dr. Troodle stared at the floor. “Well, actually, that’s kind of why your mother is with her friends right now. As I was taking Har to the veterinarian, the car came off the skyway again, and I got into an accident. No one was hurt, but…” He hesitated a moment and then finally confessed, “Har escaped.”
“No way!” exclaimed Thorn. “How in the world did that happen? Why didn’t his security collar work?”
“It must have been damaged in the accident. Anyhow, the police are too busy to help because of all the festivities going on today. We’ll have to find him tomorrow.”
“Wow, Dad. It looks like we’re all in the doghouse tonight.”
His father smiled nervously in response.
It took Simon and Thorn only a few minutes to get ready for the dance. They both wore white button-down shirts with dark vests and black slacks.
After a long while, Tonya finally crept out of the bathroom. She walked over and stood at the entrance of Thornapple’s bedroom. Thorn was watching Simon intently as he furiously pounded the buttons on his video game machine. Tonya announced in her sexiest voice, “The bathroom is available now if you still need it.”
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