“Essie,” Dwayne said as he bounced in his seat. “Granny is going to take me to a football game in the fall.”
“The Georgia Vultures?”
“Yep,” Granny said. “I got some season tickets real cheap.”
“That’s not a big surprise.” I laughed. “They lost every game last season.”
“Who cares? Hot guys in tight white pants with grease paint under their eyes grabbing each other’s asses and… Oh my GOD,” Dwayne squealed, making me jump and slap my hands over my ears. “What are you doing here, Jeff?”
Who in the hell was Jeff?
“Actually, Dwayne, my name is Hank.”
The sexy bane of my existence stood next to the table with a grin on his face that would melt hearts, but not mine. One mystery solved. The pieces fell together with sickening clarity. Dwayne was Hank’s informant. Dwayne had been giving up the goods on me for a year to the assmunch who had cheated on me.
“Oh sweet Jesus, Essie, I am so sorry,” Dwayne gasped, going as green as the paint dots on his head.
“It’s alright, Dwayne,” I said as I stared daggers at Hank. “There wasn’t much to tell.”
“Oh, but there was,” Dwayne moaned and placed his hand over his mouth. “He knows…oh god, I can’t even say it.”
What in the hell had he told Hank? My stomach roiled and my appetite disappeared.
“However,” Dwayne said carefully as he recovered from his shock. “The whole thing is kind of hot in a reality TV show kind of way. Don’t you think so, Essie?”
“No. I don’t,” I snapped.
Granny was quiet and watched the exchange with great interest. Where was her loyalty? She was supposed to stand up and cold cock Hank. Instead, she had a sneaky little grin on her face. I pretty much hated everybody right now and I still had no clue what Dwayne had told Hank.
“You are not welcome here,” I hissed at him. “Go away. I will talk to you after I have lunch with the people I love.” For a brief second I could have sworn pain flashed in his eyes, but it had to be the sun streaming through the windows. He was a heartless wanker, obsessed with what he thought he owned.
“Nope.” He grinned and wedged his huge body into the booth next to Granny, who patted him on the head with affection. I was so going to divorce her. “We have things to discuss and time is of the essence.”
He was right, which only made me hate him more.
“Fine. Talk and leave.”
“Essie, your boob is kind of falling out of your top,” Dwayne announced loud enough for all the tables in the restaurant to hear. All eyes shot to my boobs. Hank quickly leaned across the table and covered my chest with his bare hands. A zing shot right through me and my evil traitorous nipples hardened with delight. Hank’s grin almost sent me into meltdown. The kind where I killed him, but first I would stick my tongue down his throat and ride him till he was blind.
Shoving him off and grabbing a napkin, I covered my tatas and raced to the bathroom. I had a sundress in my bag. Being an agent had taught me to always carry something extra to wear. No one liked sitting around in blood-spattered or bullet-riddled clothes.
The bathroom of Casey’s Honkytonk was an anomaly. The restaurant was tiny but the ladies room was huge — six Pepto Bismol colored stalls and a diaper changing station. I went to the far stall and locked myself in. Peeling off the slutty outfit, I realized I was still wired. Not knowing if I would need it again today I left it taped to my body and pulled my sexy but comfy sundress over my head.
I leaned against the cool wall and tried to decipher my feelings. Why was I so angry with Hank if he didn’t mean anything to me? Maybe because I was still madly in love with him… No. I was stronger than that. I had more pride. He had cheated on me with the three Tinas and I had seen the results with my own eyes. I deserved someone who wanted only me. Was I nuts? The magnitude of what I still felt for him was confusing. Maybe I should have talked to him—did he get cold feet and make a mistake? Mistake was mild for what he did. However, the girl I was a year ago only knew how to run. The woman I’d become might not have, but it was fruitless to be consumed with what ifs.
“I can’t believe she came back,” a voice hissed. “I was sure she’d never set foot in Hung again.”
“I saw her today,” Tina #1 said. “She was hitting on Puck.”
“Clearly we didn’t do a good enough job,” Tina #2 snapped angrily.
Son of a…why couldn’t I catch a break? The Tinas had entered the bathroom and they were talking about me. Should I step out and beat the hell out of them? No. That would be childish and possibly messy. I liked my sundress and, quite honestly, Hank deserved my anger more than they did. After a short internal debate with my inner wolf, who wanted to kill them, I decided to stand on the toilet so my feet weren’t spotted and listen to what the vipers said…They might have some information on the missing girls. Tina #1 was working at the modeling agency.
“Oh, please,” Tina #2 griped. “You’re all just pissed because none of us could bag Hank.”
Wait. What?
“He’s a fool. I literally showed up at his house naked the day after she took off and he kicked me out. No one kicks me out when I’m naked,” Tina #1 ground out with fury.
The other Tinas laughed and Tina #1 growled. I was missing a piece of info and my stomach dropped, making me feel ill.
“I vote we give each other hickeys all over our bodies again, show her and tell her he did it. She bought it last time. She’s so stupid she’ll buy it again.”
“Do you remember how she sobbed when we showed her what her boyfriend did to us? It was so much fun. I haven’t been able to make anyone cry like that in a year,” Tina #3 gushed.
“I actually kind of enjoyed giving you all hickeys,” Tina #3 said.
“Are you gay?” Tina #2 demanded.
“No, we were drunk so it didn’t count,” Tina #3 shot back.
“Look if she hits on Puck again, I’ll give both of you hickeys on your faces to get rid of her. I don’t see why men are so attracted to her,” Tina #1 spat.
“Because she’s beautiful,” Tina #3 groused. “Let her have Hank. I never really wanted him anyway.”
“Liar,” Tina #2 purred. “Everyone red-blooded female Were wants that man. He’s the alpha and he’s sex on a stick. You’re still completely hung up on him.”
“Speak for yourself. We have to go back to the agency and get back to work. Those fiery boys are major taskmasters.” Tina #1 giggled.
My body felt hot and cold at the same time. I wanted to scream and cry and crawl out of my skin. The need to shift and run until there was no feeling left in me was intense. How had I made a mistake like this? Why had I believed them? The tears rolled unchecked down my cheeks. I could not go back to the table.
I heard them leave and I let the sobs roll through my body. The sounds I made were foreign. I thought my heart had broken a year ago, but I was wrong. It was shattering now and it was no one’s fault but mine.
The Tinas were right. I was stupid. I had destroyed the best thing in my life by jumping to conclusions and I was too embarrassed to come clean at this point. Hank deserved someone far better than me. Oh my god, the thought of him finding love and happiness with someone else was horrifying, but I owed him that after how childish and selfish I’d been. I just needed to get through the next week. I would treat him kinder and try and leave as friends. As much as I hated the reality of him with someone else, I loved him enough to want that to happen.
I’d get through lunch and discuss my meeting with Puck Flame and then I’d shift and go for a long run on the beach. I had a whole day to kill before I could work on the case again and I needed to clear my mind and try to forgive myself for being the worst person in the world. I had a feeling that would take decades…
I splashed my face with cold water and tried to fix my hair. My hands shook and tears kept leaking from my eyes. Pull yourself together. This was your fault. It’s done and you lose. Grow up and mov
e on.
My inner wolf prowled restlessly inside me and I promised her we’d run later. I dabbed my eyes, pinched my cheeks for some color and plastered on a smile that would never reach my eyes again. I could do this.
The lunch crowd had slimmed out and I noticed Dwayne and Granny had left. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Maybe I should go for a run now… Hank was still in the booth and he looked ready to explode. Crapcrapcrap.
I owed him an explanation. I was a big enough girl to do the right thing. I had no clue where Granny and Dwayne went, but something was way off. Had Granny read him the riot act? God, I hoped not. It was me that deserved the riot act. If she had pissed Hank off, why would she have left me to deal with it alone? I glanced wildly around the diner and noticed all the shifters had left. Only humans remained. I waved at a few people I knew and dragged my feet back to the booth.
“Um…hi. Where did Granny and Dwayne go?” I asked.
Hank said nothing. His hands were clenched and his jaw was tight.
“Did you order yet? I didn’t order before you got here and I’m kind of hungry, but not really. Actually the thought of swallowing food is nauseating right now, but if you want to eat and discuss the case I can sit here. I could drink some water or a soda or I could go and get my…”
“Sit,” Hank instructed tersely.
I did.
“I think that Puck Flame is definitely dirty and I think the Tinas are possibly recruiting for him and his partners. I got his prints on my cup and I’m sure he’s using an alias. And um, I’m going back in the morning, but I’m sure you know that because you were listening at the station.”
Hank slowly removed the transmitter from his ear and laid it on the table in front of me. My gut burned and my palms began to sweat. Oh my hell, I was still wearing the wire. He heard everything in the bathroom and he hated me. I wasn’t going to get the chance to tell him what a loser I was because he already knew. The need to run was almost overwhelming, but this time I would stay until I was told to go.
Inhaling a deep breath, I gently touched his hand. He didn’t take mine, but at least he didn’t yank his away. “I am so sorry,” I whispered brokenly. “I made a terrible mistake and I’m just so very sorry.”
He refused to look at me and I didn’t blame him. I didn’t want to look at me either. I slid out of the booth and stood. I knew we would have to work together to solve the crime, but I could give him his space when we weren’t working. The tiny pieces that were left of my heart tore at my insides.
“I’ll check in tomorrow morning before my appointment.” I moved to leave, but his hand snaked out and captured my wrist in a vise-like hold.
“If you think you’re about to run again, you have another thing coming.” His voice was low and furious.
“Let go of my wrist,” I said as I tried to hold back tears. “I promise I won’t run.”
“Your promises aren’t really worth much, Essie,” he said finally, raising his eyes to mine. “If we weren’t in a public place I’d handcuff you to me.”
Even though I knew he wanted to lay into me, the thought of being handcuffed to him sent excited chills through me. I had clearly lost it. I deserved anything he had to say. It couldn’t be any worse than all the things I was saying to myself.
“I have spent a year wondering what I had done to you that was so bad you would leave and I had to hear it like this? You distrusted me that much that you would think I had covered several women’s bodies in hickeys?” He was flabbergasted. When I heard him say it out loud, I had to admit I was too. How could I have been so reckless and dumb?
“I…”
“You made us miss out on a year of our lives together because you believed a lie.”
“I’m sorry,” I said so quietly I almost couldn’t hear it.
“Sorry is not cutting it right now. Come with me,” he said gruffly.
“Where are we going?” I gasped as he dragged me out of the diner.
He stopped and ran his hands through his hair and exhaled an angry frustrated sigh. “To my house. You’ve denied both of us for a year and it’s time to do something about that.”
“You can’t possibly want to have sex after what I did,” I stammered and backed away.
“Who said anything about sex?” He grinned and my tummy flipped.
“I just thought…”
“You need to stop thinking, Essie. It just gets you into trouble. Get on the bike.”
His huge Harley was in the parking lot and I stumbled toward it. He lifted me like I weighed nothing and plopped me down on the seat. He straddled the bike and started it up. It purred and rumbled between my shaking legs.
“Hold on, little girl. It’s going to be a bumpy ride—a very bumpy ride.”
Chapter 9
His house looked the same as the day I left. A book I had been reading was still on the coffee table and all the feminine touches I had added remained. When I had first moved in it was a total man cave, but Hank was thrilled to let my personality and things join his. The house was perfect—a little bungalow tucked away on a private beach on the outskirts of Hung. We had spent many nights wishing on stars and making plans for the future.
I had loved him since high school. He was four years older and watched me from afar until I graduated college. He made his moves quickly and there was no looking back for either of us. I loved him completely—his strength, compassion and smokin’ hot butt just killed me. I couldn’t believe someone like him wanted someone like me. He was as deadly as he was kind—a rare combination for a Shifter. He was a tough but fair alpha of the pack and had only been challenged once since he took over for his father. The challenge was horrifying. It was the first time I’d seen Hank fight. My alpha was mesmerizing and humbling. That night was also the first night we made love.
“Sit down, Essie,” he said. He paced the room and his power filled it. I sat quietly and waited.
“Hank, I…”
“You what, Essie?”
“Nothing,” I murmured.
“You’re sitting right in front of me, but you’re still running. If you want me, Essie, you’ll have to fight for me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and watched me.
“Will you still fight for me?” I whispered, afraid of his answer.
“I have fought for you from the moment I laid eyes on you…and I never stopped. Not for one moment.”
He was right and it made my shame more debilitating. The silence was heavy and my brain was jumbled.
“Do you still love me?” he asked calmly.
I glanced up and my eyes locked with his. Having nothing left to lose, I nodded my head yes.
“Then you need to show me.”
“I don’t know how.” I was stricken. How could I erase a year of pain and anger?
“Essie, when you left me you were still a girl. I didn’t realize it—I was too close. You became your own woman this year. As much as it sickens me that we weren’t together when this happened, maybe this was the way it was supposed to be.”
“You watched me. You saw everything I did. Why didn’t you drag me home?” I asked. He wasn’t prone to rash action, but he did have the wild possessive streak of a Were.
“Trust me, I was tempted…but I wanted you to grow, and because I had Dwayne’s ear and big mouth I felt secure. Not to mention your Granny said, and I quote ‘I will rip your alpha ass apart if you don’t let that girl find herself’.”
God, my Granny loved me something fierce. Standing up to your alpha was serious business. “What did Dwayne tell you?” I asked as I felt my cheeks heat.
“You’ll have to ask him.” He gave me a half smirk that made me want to weep with joy and tackle him to the ground at the same time.
We stared at each other for a long time. I literally ached to touch him, but I still wasn’t sure what the ground rules were. Did I have to pay penance? I was willing to do anything to regain his trust.
“You’re going to have to make the first move
, Essie,” he said quietly and leaned back against the wall.
He was right and I was scared. Maybe he and Granny were correct. Maybe I did have to grow up. I was no longer just the alpha’s gal pal. I was my own woman—an agent, a strong, whole person.
His green eyes turned a silvery blue and I felt wanted for exactly who I was—the crazy girl who would continue to attract trouble and make mistakes. The one who could love him like no other and the one who could finally accept his love in return.
I stood slowly and slipped the straps of my sundress off my shoulders. His body tensed but he stayed still. I let it fall to the floor and I giggled.
“I’m still wired.” I grinned and approached him. My insides danced wildly and the scent of cinnamon filled the room. I was wearing a bra, panties, kick ass wedge Pradas that belonged to Dwayne, a wire and a small gun strapped to my inner thigh. I had never felt sexier in my life.
“Officer, I’m going to have to ask you to remove you weapon,” Hank said in his sheriff voice.
“Wait, isn’t that my line? I’m the agent,” I answered as I bit back a laugh.
“True, but I’m the sheriff and your alpha. I trump. Remove the gun. I plan to spend some time there and I prefer to keep my manly parts.”
“I prefer that you keep your manly parts too,” I said and stopped a breath away from him. His body went as tight as a drum and his Mr. Happy was very happy. I knew it took everything he had not to lunge at me. I marveled at his control and quite honestly at mine too.
Carefully I unstrapped my gun and put it on the coffee table. “Will you help me with the wire?”
“Please?” His lopsided grin melted my insides.
“Please?” I whispered.
Having tape pulled from one’s body was not the usual foreplay I was used to with Hank, but it rocked my world at the moment. He ran his fingertips gently over the reddened skin and followed it with his lips. Somehow my bra and panties disappeared too. How had I not noticed that? Wait, who the hell cared?
I stood before him in only my borrowed heels, feeling shy yet sexy. “You’re a little overdressed,” I murmured as I slid my hands under his shirt and pushed it up over his broad and familiar chest. The light sprinkling of dark hair tickled my fingers and the growl low in his throat made me grab onto him for balance.
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