by Shari Low
When they got off at the other end Lawrence and Lavinia demanded to hold her hands, unlike their grandfather who had charged off with Eliza and Mona. Just behind her, Max walked side by side with Piers.
Walking into the Piazza dei Miracoli was an unforgettable experience. The perimeter was walled, creating a courtyard in the middle. To her immediate left, on the other side of a grassy section, was the largest baptistery in Italy, a round, incredibly beautiful Romanesque building of cream stone with a stunning domed roof. Next to it was an eleventh-century cathedral, a work of architectural art in pale stone and marble, with huge bronze doors, its walls adorned with intricate carvings, majestic columns and arches. On the cathedral’s right-hand side was the famous bell tower.
‘Look at that!’ She motioned to the tower that, yes, did indeed lean to one side. The twins were completely disinterested, more focussed on chasing the birds that strutted around on the grass and she could see John and Penny really wanted to savour the experience. Perhaps they could do it in shifts. They could go now, and she’d have a wander around later.
‘Why don’t you guys go on ahead and do the sightseeing stuff? I’m happy to keep the kids amused here for a while,’ she told John and Penny.
‘Are you sure?’ John replied.
‘Positive. But I can’t promise there won’t be ice cream involved. I do believe in bribing children.’
Penny laughed and gave her a quick hug, before heading off to catch up with the others.
‘Right, you two,’ she told the twins. ‘How about ice cream and then a play on the grass?’
She had them on ice cream.
Piers and Max caught up with her. ‘Do you want us to stay and hang out with you?’ Max asked.
‘No, it’s fine – if there’s time later, I’ll go inside the tower, but I’m happy just to stay here and potter around.’
And potter they did. With a twin holding each hand, she wandered along the long line of souvenir stalls on her right, picking up a miniature Leaning Tower for each of them. Tess threw in another one for her mum and dad – if they ever came back from their South American adventure, she knew her mum would love a Leaning Tower of Pisa doorstop.
Shopping done, they bought a couple of ice creams and lay in a shady spot on the grass. Or rather, Tess lay on the grass and the twins sat on top of her. They sang songs. They counted birds. They played tig. Then they all collapsed in a heap, while Tess shared at length – and with character voices and actions – her in-depth knowledge of how the tower used to be straight until a big giant leaned on it. Well, subsidence just wasn’t that exciting. Let them take it up with a history teacher in later life.
Eventually, exhausted by the heat and the antics, Lawrence fell asleep with his head on her lap, while Lavinia watched, engrossed, as Tess made her a headband of daisy chains, feeling happier and more content than she’d done in days. This had been one of her favourite afternoons of the trip so far.
‘You’re good at that.’
She smiled up at the new arrival. ‘Thank you.’
Drew sat down beside her. ‘It’s good of you to let John and Penny have some free time. I saw them over by the cathedral and they looked like they didn’t have a care in the world.’
They sat in silence for a few moments. Tess decided that it was strange that they had so much to talk about, yet nothing to say.
‘Are you upset with me?’ he said eventually.
She nodded. ‘I think things have gone wrong and I don’t know how to fix them. We’re like strangers this week. I’m not sure why.’
‘You’re chewing your lip again.’
She hadn’t even realized she was doing it. ‘Can’t beat a bit of swelling – saves me getting collagen injections.’
Her attempt to lighten the mood had only a temporary effect, and they both lapsed into silence again, broken up only by Lavinia’s demands for another story. This wasn’t the time for a deep and meaningful discussion. So instead, Tess told Lavinia the one about Cinderella, and her evil stepmother. And she would forever swear that it was purely coincidence that when she described the root of all evil, the picture she painted was an exact match to the woman on the bus with a hat like a mushroom.
Mona
Mona watched them from a distance, her Yves Saint Laurent sunglasses covering her gaze. Tess was totally preoccupied with the children and Drew was lying staring into space beside them. It struck her how ridiculous they looked – like a grandfather, a daughter and her children, not a husband and wife caring for the grandkids. Much as it was tempting to barge right on over there, she decided to leave them to it. They looked miserable – better that she let that ferment for a little while.
Over to her right, she noticed Max going into the entrance of the tower, no doubt planning to climb the two hundred and ninety-four steps to the top. There was no way Piers would do that – too worried he’d have a coronary halfway up – so he must be around here somewhere.
She ducked around the back of the cathedral and spotted him, sitting alone on the steps with his back to her, partially obscured by a column, talking into his mobile phone. Of course he could be calling anyone at all, but she knew immediately that it was Emily the Frump. Fucking typical. He was here with the family and yet there he was, on the phone to a woman in bad shoes thousands of miles away. As much as she knew it was irrational, the thought irked her. How bloody dare he! That showed no respect whatsoever and it was time he was informed of that.
In fact, it was time he was informed of quite a few things and now was as good a time as any. They had an hour to kill.
She approached quietly, careful not to let her heels clatter against the stone stairs. She was almost at the pillar when she realized that, in typical Piers style, he was speaking so loudly that she could distinguish what he was saying.
‘Love, I’m sorry, I really am. It just all got out of hand.’
Pause.
‘You have every right to be upset. I’m a cock. I’m really, really sorry. But I wanted to tell you now because I know that you’ve been offered that cracking job at Holyrood. You should take it, love.’
Pause.
‘But Emily, come on. I was straight up with you from the start. You knew it was never going to lead anywhere.’
Mona almost yelped aloud. He was calling it off. He was actually giving that little tart the heave-ho. She wanted to punch the air. Sweet victory. Not that she was in the least bit interested in Piers now, but it showed she could still triumph over a woman half her age.
‘No, it’s not that, it’s just… Look, you know I’m not one for being deep and profound, but I’ve realized a few things on this holiday and one of them is that I’m not the shagging-around kind of guy. It’s time I grew up.’
Mona’s eyes were like Royal Doulton saucers.
‘I get it, doll. I just wanted you to know before the deadline for that job. I’m sorry, Em, I really am. But I guess I’ve finally realized what I want and I just hope it’s not too late to get it.’
That bit almost took Mona’s breath away. He’d finally seen sense and dumped that little tart.
But, in truth, it really didn’t matter to her plans or feelings. He may have realized what he wanted, but it was too little, too late because she now knew, too. And a future with Piers wasn’t on her wish list.
16.
Rocky Seas
Sarah
Sarah’s hands were shaking and it wasn’t just because pre-date nerves had left her unable to eat a thing all day. She’d arranged to meet Nate by the pool in the adults-only section and now she realized that was a big mistake. Massive. Meeting at poolside = revealing size of arse in swimsuit, not something she was entirely comfortable with, despite the fact that she’d been at the salon that morning for some much-needed maintenance. She’d had a layer of fake tan slapped on to enhance the honey-coloured sheen she’d acquired in the last few days. Next came eyelash extensions so long she now resembled a dairy cow. And finally a master session of hair removal,
including what she referred to as a – she flushed at the very thought – a ‘semi-Mona’. Her lady garden wasn’t quite fully mowed, but it certainly wouldn’t be requiring a Flymo any time soon.
Adjusting herself on the sunlounger, she pulled her sarong across her thighs, then moved the back rest down so that her stomach looked flatter. Another bad idea. She was now lying too flat to drink the gin and tonic by her side. Pushing herself up, she twisted around, causing the sarong to fall off and her stomach muscles to fail, allowing her spare tyre slump into evidence. Buggery bugger.
Now she was sweating, shaking and swearing.
‘Well, hello there.’
Buggery bugger once again. Of course he would pick that moment to arrive. A thin layer of moisture broke out on her top lip, making the kiss he planted there extra moist. Was there no end to the indignity?
She tried not to watch as he peeled off his white linen shirt, revealing a set of shoulders and torso that could wrestle a bull in a rodeo. Actually, they probably did. Oh, dear God, he had a six-pack. No, make it an eight-pack. Stop staring. Stop staring. Why did she always have to bloody stare? She was like the Queen of Inappropriate Staringville. OK, now stop thinking irrational thoughts. Be carefree. In control. Oh, dear God, he was taking off his shorts and he was wearing Speedos. SPEEDOS! Did she have time to get to the medical bay before she died from hyperventilation?
Patsy would die laughing if she could see her now, lying with an expertly trimmed foliage next to a cowboy wearing Speedos.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ he drawled.
‘Got one,’ she replied, holding up her gin. She then took a sip from the straw that somehow lasted longer than anticipated and emptied the glass. ‘On second thoughts, a gin and tonic would be lovely, thanks.’
The waitress, Oona, Belgium, delivered them with a smile and Nate signed them to his account.
‘So, how did you manage to get out of going onshore today, then? Aren’t you the family tour guide?’ she jested, trying to dispel her nerves with a touch of light conversation.
Nate grinned. ‘Yep, that about sums it up. But they’ve gone on an organized tour and I explained to my daughter that a very lovely lady had asked me to keep her company today.’
Very lovely. She liked that. She also liked the fact that his hand had flopped over on to her sunbed and was gently stroking her arm. Oh, that felt good. She just had to get over the Speedos and this would be close to bliss.
Another hour and another drink passed, and Sarah began to feel uncomfortable in the heat. She’d never been one for lying all day in the sun – a combination of a pale complexion and a Scottish predisposition to cold, wet weather. ‘Nate, do you mind if we go inside for a little while? I’m getting way too hot here.’
He went up on one elbow and turned to face her, then leaned over and traced a finger down the side of her face. ‘What do you say we go cool off in my cabin?’
People turned to stare as she choked on her gin and tonic until her eyes watered. At least they now matched her upper lip.
Somehow, through the indignity, she managed to nod. Why not? He was gorgeous. And kind. And good company. And such a gentleman.
She ignored the other voice in her head that was saying, ‘And he’s wearing SPEEDOS!!! Do not look at the Speedos. Do not.’
They gathered up their things and travelled down to deck eight in silence, except from the thudding of her heart, which was so loud that teenagers were probably dancing to it up on deck fourteen.
Inside the cabin, the cool of the air conditioning made absolutely no difference whatsoever, especially when Nate dropped his things on a chair and then turned and gently put one hand on either side of her neck and kissed her.
They’d kissed before, outside on deck, smoochy snogs while they were dancing, but this was different. It was urgent, passionate. She wound her hands through his hair and returned the kiss, tasting a mixture of beer and salt on his breath. She could feel his pelvis pressed against hers, his hardness against her stomach. Don’t panic. She was about to do filthy things with a man in Speedos. Yes she was. She could do this. Don’t panic. Focus on the positives. It was intoxicating, delicious, horny and…
She pulled back. Terrifying. She panicked.
‘Nate, can we slow down a bit? It’s just that… oh, bugger, I don’t know how to say this.’
He looked at her searchingly.
‘It’s just that… right, here it is. I haven’t had sex for years. It might even be a decade. And I’m finding this mildly terrifying.’
In her head she saw an image of Patsy, fag in mouth, slapping a hand to her forehead in despair.
Nate checked his watch. ‘Well, sure, honey, but the others are gonna be back real soon and I promised I’d go play soccer with the boys at six o’clock.’
Her laughter surprised her as much as it surprised him. She’d been a sexual vacuum for years and now a man in Speedos was telling her to get a shake on because he was due to play football at six. Her country and western cowboy couldn’t have burst her romantic bubble more if he’d moon-walked across the cabin while farting out the tune to ‘Islands In The Stream’.
What the hell was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just pucker up and get with it? She was an almost-fifty-year-old woman who could do whatever she damn well pleased and yet she was stuck somewhere in a bloody big pile of sexual repression. It was never like this with Drew. They’d met so young and were together so long that it was always great. Always right. Up until he met that tart, Mona…
A feeling of utter despondence crept up from her flip-flops to her moist upper lip. Regardless of the reasons, this – her, Nate, the fledgling fling – felt all wrong. Time to back out as gracefully as her sarong would allow. ‘I’m sorry, Nate. I think maybe holiday romances are just not for me. I’m so sorry.’
With that she leant over, gave him an apologetic kiss on the lips, and then bolted out of the door, leaving a pair of rapidly deflating Speedos in her wake.
Tess
The cool breeze from the open doors to the balcony made the flames on the candles flutter. Up on the mezzanine, Tess swapped her shorts for a pair of skinny jeans and pulled a black jersey waterfall cardigan on over her white T-shirt. With her hair pulled up into a ponytail, she could have passed for a college student. Right now, she wished she still was. Being an adult was seriously over-rated.
Downstairs, Drew answered the knock at the door and then wheeled in a fully laden table from room service. The original intention had been for them all to have dinner together tonight, but the plans had been vetoed by just about everyone. Sarah called off with a headache. John and Penny wanted to have an early night with the kids. Eliza – gutted that she’d somehow missed Kai and his family in Pisa – was making up for it by meeting him at 7 p.m. Max had booked a circuit class in the gym. Piers claimed he had some urgent business to attend to and Mona… actually Mona was the only one who was disappointed that the dinner plans had crashed, but she’d been left with no option other than to make her own plans after everyone else did the same. Tess was grateful for small mercies. The thought of dinner with Mona held absolutely no appeal.
Drew pushed the table over to the window, then put the brake on and pulled over two chairs and placed them facing each other. He checked she was still upstairs. ‘Dinner’s here, honey.’
‘I’m just coming down.’
He removed the cloches from the plates, unwrapped the linen cover on the bread basket and poured them both glasses of sparkling white wine. That had been a concession to Tess. He preferred red.
As Tess came down the stairs, it struck her how perfectly civil they were being to each other. Polite. Like good friends. Close neighbours. Old pals.
She pulled her cardigan around her and sat down, pulling one foot up on the chair, one hand wrapped around the knee that was now at her shoulder.
He smiled at her kindly and she responded in kind. She wanted to scream. Instead, she blurted, ‘I want to have children.’
&nb
sp; He sighed the weariest sigh she had ever heard. ‘Tess, we agreed…’
‘No, I agreed. Me. You told me that having children was non-negotiable and I loved you so much that I agreed. I agreed never to have children so that I could have you. That was the deal.’
He nodded. ‘And that’s changed?’
‘That’s changed,’ she agreed. “I’ve known for ages really, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. But this afternoon with the twins… it just confirmed it.’
Across the table, Drew took a bite of his steak, but Tess ignored her chicken supreme. She had no appetite for anything that wasn’t one hundred per cent carbohydrate and in the food group labelled ‘comfort eating’.
She waited until he’d finished chewing and was looking at her with piercing, sad eyes.
‘Since the day we met, I’ve gone along with everything you wanted. This isn’t a partnership. It’s your marriage and I’m just in it.’ There was no bitterness or accusation in her tone, just matter-of-fact calmness.
He didn’t respond, probably – she thought – stunned into silence by her uncharacteristic assertiveness.
‘I love you. But we’re not making each other happy anymore and unless something changes I think we’re going to end up resenting each other, Drew. In fact, I think I’m starting to resent you already.’
He put his glass down and stared at her for a moment. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever made you do anything you don’t want to do.’
She shook her head sadly. ‘The fact that you say that proves how disconnected we are.’
‘Why?’ his voice was getting agitated now. ‘What have you ever done that you didn’t want to?’
Refusing to let this escalate to a fight, she kept her voice calm. ‘I’ve spent more nights alone than I could count. I’ve finished dinner by myself so often that I can’t remember ever seeing you over dessert and coffee. I made myself believe that I could live happily without ever having children. And I’m here with you now. On a holiday I didn’t want to take. I wanted to have a quiet, romantic trip, just you and me – but that wasn’t enough.’ She bit her lip to stop her eyes filling up. ‘I was never enough.’