Behindlings

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Behindlings Page 27

by Nicola Barker


  – once the sun had set and the coy suggestion of rain (its soothing, fog-tinged sussurations) looked like turning into something more chilling –

  No point…

  Outdoor job, close to the Dutch Village; pulling down a turn-of-the-century summerhouse –

  Criminal

  – beautiful old thing – Hooligan

  Doing what he could to salvage the best of the fine painted timber –

  That gorgeous, old-fashioned lead-based grey-green colour Peeling off in voluptuous curls under the heavy pressure of a clumsy finger

  – piled it into the back of his Mazda. Threw a heavy plastic sheet over, for the journey –

  Cat sat under a Euphorbia bush

  Just watching

  Gold eye

  Jumped out of its bones when the roof caved in

  Belted towards the conservatory

  After all that commotion (and during, even, basking beneath it)…

  That high-pitched stillness of ocean-floor

  Canvey

  Quiet

  Birds a-bed by three

  No point in…

  Shoved the wood into storage on the Charfleets at the workshop. Might make a –

  Time allowing…

  – Might make a fine, glass-fronted bookcase, like his Great Aunt Mathilda in Poole’d had, when he was a boy – full of fascinating books about mineralogy.

  Arrived home at six, work and worry-weary. Anxiety still grinding away inside of him – not stationary, but moving – Back and forth, back and forth

  – like a sharp-toothed saw, hacking and hewing.

  Parked the car in the lock-up out the rear. Crept into the house the back way –

  Nothing to apologise for

  – took a quick shower. Was standing at that window twenty minutes later; scent of Brylcreem and Imperial Leather… Hmmn

  Slow, to begin with.

  Then the two old boys came; the one whose son had… but who still persisted (he was the first – sat down under the streetlight and messed about with his bootlaces). Next up, the ignorant one in the hat and the glasses clambering out of a white van –

  Contravening just about every bloody…

  The Police –

  Double yellow

  There’s justice for you

  – and the girl – the boy-girl from earlier – walking in the gutter: hood up – forward – back. Light striking her face; like a small, sharp, well-peeled shallot –

  Plain

  Clean

  Neat as…

  Small terrier, dancing hyperactively –Despicable breed

  Estate agent at Katherine’s front window –

  Briefly

  The Police making their way over, knocking…

  Dewi held his breath.

  Had a suspicion –more than a suspicion –that he was in there (should’ve got home earlier. Should’ve ripped that senseless agent limb-from-limb: Edward –Edward, damn him –he of all people should’ve known better).

  Ted opened the door and ushered… ushered… Everybody but the one person who…

  Dewi rubbed his hands across his face (hands still smelled of wood varnish, underneath). The rain came again, light as icing sugar tipped from a shaker.

  He waited –

  Waited

  The white van suddenly left with a ferocious screeeeech.

  He closed his eyes –

  Barn Owl

  Keening for its mate in the damp-blanket night

  He opened his eyes again.

  Now only the girl remained –

  Little cocktail onion

  Clean as a whistle

  Pickled in sweet vinegar

  And then –

  No

  – almost as if she suddenly –

  No

  – almost as if she instinctively –

  No

  She turned around and looked straight into him –

  Blackness

  Tiny pickling –

  and spoke –

  Little lamb

  Bleating into steam

  Bleating into nothing

  It was then, and then only, that he finally knew Josephine.

  These situations were the stuff of comedy, Katherine mused, if it wasn’t you, and they weren’t constantly happening, and you weren’t constantly pissed, and your bladder wasn’t exploding, and the doorbell wasn’t ringing and ringing and ringing –Stuck

  Managed to drop her fag into her lap. Retrieved it with a yelp, but moved much too quickly, yanking the wire (if possible) even tighter around her throat –

  Stuck

  The indignity!

  How did she…?

  How had she…?

  And to be discovered by Dewi. To be found that way –Spare key under the little pot-bound bay tree

  – and then to try and explain, but the words wouldn’t come and… And the way he’d looked –

  ‘Did he do this to you?’

  He kept… He kept…

  ‘Did he push you in here?’

  ‘Did he tie this wire around your throat?’

  ‘Why do I smell burning?’

  ‘Why are you bleeding?’

  ‘Why all these feathers everywhere?’

  When he lifted her –like she was a newborn kitten –so gently –

  Those reliable hands

  Voice running fast and smooth as a sea-bound river

  – and pulled her free and untangled her and re-aligned her and rearranged her…

  She was…

  She felt…

  But to see her so…

  Urgh!

  ‘Just… just hold on a second, Katherine… Why are…? Where are you…?’

  Hand over her mouth, she ran to the toilet, nearly pissing on the tiles before she made it there. Found the door –the bolt –pulled it sharply across –lunged for the bowl –the pan –the sink –

  Anywhere

  He kept on calling through the door –

  And calling

  Like in a dream

  – and the calling would only –

  It must end

  It must end

  – the calling would only stop once she’d told him where they were–

  The bar. The fucking BAR.

  It was torture.

  And then, once she’d told him –

  I TOLD YOU, DIDN’T I?

  – he’d only go when he was entirely certain that she was… That she’d be…

  Oh the caring! So unbearable!

  ‘I’M FINE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!’

  She told the towel and the tiles and the toilet paper. She told her knickers and her elbows and her pubic hair –

  So sordid, this thin body

  So soiled

  – ‘GET OUT AND JUST LEAVE ME!’

  He promised her faithfully –pressing down on the door handle, whispering, his lips pressed first into the wood, then into the metal –that he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t…

  He would not interfere.

  Ted made them pause for a moment under the bus shelter so that he could call his aunt and warn her…

  ‘Just leave it in the oven, Auntie. I can’t… Well, if you’re worried, turn it off. I can always heat it up later… No, that’s… I… It’s very… Don’t miss your…’

  (Wesley’d kindly loaned him his phone for the call’s duration, then briskly took it off him again once the conversation was over.)

  And they’d hardly… they’d barely got in through the door –

  Smoke and beer and condensation

  Fug

  The sudden quiet

  The stink of chicken wings in spicy…

  – before this crazy fucking Welsh mountain came tumbling in after them; howling, wounded. Like an injured stag after the rut. Tossing his head. Baying. Rearing up.

  Wesley (in the three previous seconds) saw the thin man –Art –straightening up by the bar –his face –a look of…

  The Policewoman, deep in conversati
on…

  The ceiling fan…

  A spare chair by the…

  Huh?

  Ted had… Ted put out his… Ted was grabbing his…

  Didn’t…

  Tried to…

  Turned towards…

  FUUURRGH!!

  Nose-spit-teeth-splinter-feet-neck-hand-table-elbow

  Floor-Floor-Floor

  Had to –

  Wuh?

  – had to stand up –

  If I am to die then let it at least be on my…

  – stand up –

  Woooooooo-oooo-ooooh!

  That was… that was…

  Air like a merry-go-colour-spiattered-whizzz-sniff-blood

  He glanced around him –

  Each and every individual thing as bright as bright as…

  CRUNCH!

  – Was felled like a tree for a second time.

  Hang on…

  – Wooden boards. Soles and shoes and fag butts and bottle tops and –

  Dé-jà…

  Did I not just do this before?

  Must… must get up…

  I am…

  I am…

  Geauuuurgh!

  –Up.

  He cocked his head –

  If only I could just…

  Wesley blinked, bemused –

  Ox, bellowing

  – he blinked again –

  Is this connected to me?

  These strange sounds?

  This garble?

  Should I perhaps…?

  Uh…

  Ears: atten-shun!

  ‘WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO HER?’

  Ox-arm swings to contain the entire… the entire…

  Wesley glances around the room, but not really seeing anything.

  We are all in this, he thinks, with satisfaction –even glasses and ashtrays are implicated. What a grand sweep he has there. What a grand…

  But why am I the only one he’s hitting? Wesley focusses, finally, on the ox-mountain, the fist –

  Jeeeees!

  – light smearing out of him –

  Hooooo

  Nearly slipped over…

  Feel of table under palm –so firm –so solid

  He loved that feeling, then.

  This table feeling goes straight into my top ten

  Oh shit

  He’s going to hit me again

  Prepare for it

  (Preparing makes it worse, actually)

  Who said that?

  Uh…

  Wah?

  He spun around, unsteadily –

  There is other stuff

  Other

  Something high-pitched

  From the… the… the…

  Back

  I hear a little bird singing

  She is saying…

  Hang –

  Hang –

  Hang on…

  Whisky-whisky-whisky-eyes?

  I think I saw this girl in a dream once and she stabbed me to death with an icicle

  And Ted is… Ted is…

  Wesley turned his head –

  The thin man…

  I am…

  There is a big, black gap, and it…

  Wooahh!

  … and it doesn ‘t make any…

  Wesley took one huge, exploratory step –

  I am Mr Neil Armstrong,

  And I need to… to… to… to… guh…

  Twenty-six

  Barflies,

  This is just a stopover;

  105, maximum.

  Please do not tarry,

  For the sense God gave you will not do you good

  Where all is equal – twelve foot under.

  Remember The Phoenician

  Whose handsome bones were picked in whispers?

  Remember Phlebas?

  Listen to the waves,

  Hear them calling…

  Kew-we-we-wu

  Leading you ever-onward to sweeter nothing

  A tall, rather ineffectual looking, ginger-haired man was suddenly introducing himself to Arthur – gently and very formally – halfway up the seven front steps of the old Rio Bingo Hall (or, to give it its proper title – and neither man was anything if not absolutely punctilious in such matters – the Canvey Leisure Centre; substantial physical evidence of which buzzed and blinked balefully above them in foot-high, luminous, black and yellow lettering).

  He snaked his hand across the front of Wesley’s belly.

  ‘I’m Edward, Wesley’s estate agent,’ he said, stammering a little, ‘and I’m not… I’m not involved, directly.’ His eyes unfocussed for a moment and his hand went limp. ‘I mean, not… not directly,’ he repeated, with just a fraction less certainty.

  Wesley was currently unable to stand unsupported. He had an arm around each of Ted and Arthur’s shoulders. His chin was cut and pinkening-up, while the usually unobtrusive cheekbone under his left eye was highlighted by a white-green bump.

  Many people watched them from the opposite pavement, restrained by – and lounging against – the pedestrian railings. About a dozen or so; fifteen, maybe.

  Arthur heartily wished it would rain and drive them all back inside again. He wasn’t accustomed to the attention. Didn’t thrill to it, particularly.

  He adjusted Wesley’s weight and then shook Edward’s hand.

  ‘I’m Art,’ he said, ‘we were supposed to be meeting up in the bar. My involvement is…’ he paused, thoughtfully, ‘tangential.’

  Ted looked impressed (to understand so completely – so effortlessly – your relation to a situation was creditable enough, but then to have a wide-ranging vocabulary with which to express it? That was… that truly was compelling).

  In those few, brief seconds Arthur fully apprehended Ted’s gullible nature –

  Oh Arthur Young

  You stinking liar

  ‘I suppose it might be…’ he muttered, glancing around him shiftily –

  Stinking

  Stinking

  ‘It might be a good idea to take him somewhere a little more…’

  Not long before the rest of the pack get wind of this in the Lobster Smack

  Come storming on over

  ‘To take him somewhere a little more…’ he repeated, staggering slightly.

  Wesley was heavy. Arthur’d seen the punches he’d taken. Wouldn’t be surprised if he suffered major concussion, although –

  Frankly

  – this might be… uh…

  Quite useful, really

  ‘I have the keys…’ Ted whispered, pointing back across the road, ‘to the agency. But with the picture window and everything… it’s all fairly public. There’s a back room – a bathroom – but it’s really much too tiny…’

  Arthur was momentarily concerned about his rucksack – still in the bar. And the girl. The local girl. He couldn’t help wondering whether… if she…

  That was quite some display she’d put on in there. Saved Wesley’s bacon –

  More’s the damn pity

  – although he couldn’t –

  This is ridiculous

  help – well – secretly admiring her chutzpah (however deranged), her crazed intrepidity.

  The big, wild, Welsh moose, meanwhile – Arthur surreptitiously noted –

  A coward? Moi?

  – was being led – unrestrained – to the back of a police car. He offered no resistance. He seemed perfectly sober. Even in the unhealthy, inconsistent yellow-white of several passing headlights he looked to be a… a reasonable enough chap –

  We’re on the same side here

  Remember that

  A black-haired man clambered up the steps behind them and patted Arthur (Arthur flinched) –

  Oi! Hands off!

  – on the shoulder (a greasy looking creature in a mac. He’d noticed him tormenting the local girl earlier. He’d seen him go through the pockets of her coat. Wouldn’t trust him an inch if it actually came down to it).

  ‘Exc
use me,’ Bo panted jovially, proffering Arthur his rucksack, ‘I believe this is yours.’

  He handed it over, with a puff, ‘What’ve you got in there, mate? Solid gold ingots? A 200CC bike engine? Your horse-shoe collection?’

  He was speaking to Arthur but had eyes only for Wesley.

  ‘Thanks,’ Arthur took the bag – God it was heavy – and half-slung it over his shoulder.

  Wesley lifted his head, blinked twice at the stranger and spoke an entire sentence, in perfect order, ‘I will never sleep again,’ he stated emphatically. ‘And that is very, very fucking sad.’

  ‘Not feeling too good there, then, Wes?’ Bo asked.

  Wesley shook his head, violently. ‘I will not feel,’ he told him, ‘and you will not bloody make me.’

  Ted glanced over at Arthur, trying to send him a warning look. ‘Perhaps we should…’ he said. (Needed to get Wesley away from… as a matter of some… but without…)

  ‘Oh shit man. My nails are growing like ivy…’

  Wesley was staring at his right hand now, full of wonder.

  There were no fingers on this hand. No nails. No greenery.

  Fortunately they were saved by the doctor.

  ‘I’m the doctor,’ he barked, materialising – without any kind of prompting – at Ted’s elbow, and holding up his doctor’s briefcase. He was a very small man but exceedingly charismatic.

  ‘Where can we take him? We need to sit him down. We need clean water. We need calm. We need…’

  ‘I’m wondering if there’s any particular reason that you should choose to return to Canvey at this point, Wes…?’ Bo continued, doggedly.

  ‘Hydrangea… stranger,’ Wesley pondered this distinction.

  Bo whipped a high-tech palm from his pocket, flipped it open and removed the metal pen.

  ‘A kind of… of plant… or… or flower…?’ he questioned, starting to scribble.

  ‘Quiet,’ the doctor snapped, ‘for God’s sake let’s get him out of this circus.’

  ‘Over the road,’ Arthur nodded to the bag-bringer a second time. ‘Much obliged again,’ he said, pushing past him.

  ‘I can carry it for you, if you like,’ the greasy-haired man offered, finishing scribbling and then sticking the contraption hurriedly back into his pocket… ‘or take a turn with Wes, even…’

  The doctor, however (almost as if sensing the threat Bo posed), was having none of it. ‘No stragglers,’ he growled, ‘just give me the bag and let’s get moving shall we?’

  Arthur passed the bag over and they staggered off down the steps again, around the railings, across the road, back through the small crowd of onlookers. Ted found his keys and opened the agency’s front door. He reached over for the light switch, automatically.

 

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