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Mierrion had studied Biddellium extensively, learning all about its properties, properties that would baffle human scientists and their inferior brains. For example, if a shard of the mineral was chipped off and scattered then the shard would eventually return to its master no matter where it was to merge with the master mineral again. To put it in terms human brains may understand, there is a species of sponge on Earth that, when cut up into many pieces and left in salt water, would eventually emerge as a cohesive whole, which is unless it was of the scouring variety in which case it would never again be able to scrub pans clean. Unlike sponges though, Biddellium can instantly transport itself to the master mineral so long as enough time has passed for it to consult a map and ask for directions only to be led the completely wrong way. Eventually it would find its way back home. Rumour has it that there was a species of sponge that could also instantly transport itself anywhere on the planet at a whim. These sponges were no good at scrubbing pans though and were largely ignored by the humans.
The grand plan was to send a moon rock laced with Biddellium to Earth in the hope that it would bond with the humans. Once the Biddellium took hold of its host then it could be transported back to Mierrion using the master mineral and she could then use her new battalion of Biddellium enhanced soldiers to win the war. The logistics of getting the Biddellium to Earth was not challenging and therefore requires no explanation, suffice to say it arrived on Earth in a tremendous fashion. There was no crash, no bang and indeed no wallop as the Biddelium was introduced into the atmosphere when the rock it was surfing on broke up upon entry. The Biddellium crystals disseminated across the globe via air currents and the odd crazy person flapping wooden wings on a voyage to the sun.
All Mierrion could do was wait and hope to whatever deity she worshipped that the war would not be lost until her plan came to fruition. Weeks passed, Mierrion’s faction was suffering heavy losses and defeats across the pocket ridden plains of the lunar surface. There was no way of knowing if the Biddellium had fused with the human hosts but there was also no time remaining. She thrust her hand upwards, the master mineral firmly grasped in her equivalent of a hand, and she summoned the Earth-bound shards. The master mineral pulsated in purple hues, casting rays of purple lights all around in a manner akin to a rave organised by the artist formerly known as Duke. A bright light was emitted and vanished in an instant absorbing all other light from the surroundings. Mierrion shielded her vision receptacles from the bright light and was forced to
wait as they readjusted. When her vision had returned the human hosts were gathered around her.
Mierrion had never seen humans in the flesh before, she was amazed at the variations between them. There was a strange mass of flesh and entrails on the lunar surface, a seemingly intact human save for the gaping hole where his vision receptacles presumably was meant to be, a grossly disproportionate human, bits and pieces of pink and red scattered all over the place, a strange burning smell, and four seemingly ‘normal’ humans. There would’ve been a fifth ‘normal’ human but he couldn’t be seen by Mierrion.
“Whinny moo” said the long-haired, ‘normal’ human in white with her arms tied around her back.
The ‘normal’ humans began performing a strange ritual in front of Mierrion who took it to be some Earth custom when faced with a far superior being. They clutched at their throats as their eyes bulged and then fell motionless to the ground.
“Buggrit” said Mierrion.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
There's really not much to say about Daniel Paulson other than he's a bit of a weirdo with a hyper-active imagination.
Paulson got into writing after determining that he wasn't much good at anything else except words, and so figured it couldn't hurt to put some of those letters into words and then arrange those words into sentences to form paragraphs that become chapters and eventually a whole book of nonsensical ramblings that you've just gotten to the end of. Well done you for completing a booky-wook, have a cookie.
This book is mostly for L, without whom I would be locked up in an asylum. Also for J, T, S, A, and J for actually thinking I could do this.