by Palladian
As she quietly made her way down several flights of stairs, Lex saw no one else up and about. She went to the martial arts studio and faced her opponent, the heavy bag, for a moment. After a mental note that she couldn't tire herself out here, Lex began working through some of her lighter forms. She started out making choppy and spastic movements, but eventually her breathing evened out and her limbs moved smoothly. By the time she touched her forehead and felt a sheen of sweat, Lex decided to stop for the day, her deep breathing seeming to underscore that call. After a long set of stretches, she headed back upstairs to shower and change before breakfast.
Later at the kitchen island, she munched cereal that she couldn’t really taste as she tried to distract her thoughts. Lex considered the fact that she'd need to get a bookshelf now without dwelling on where the books would be coming from. She tried to ignore the lump pushing itself up in her chest to turn her throat into a tight knot as she made a travel cup of tea for herself, breathing in the grassy scent of the green tea she’d chosen, trying to calm herself. After drinking her first cup and staring at the wall for a while, Lex felt a wave of relief wash through her when Casey joined her in the kitchen, dressed casually in a t-shirt and jeans.
Casey looked at Lex for a moment, and then put a big hand on her shoulder as she went to get some cereal out of a nearby cabinet. Lex swallowed with difficulty and asked, “Can I make you some tea?”
“Sure, thanks,” Casey responded, looking at Lex again, carefully. “So, how long have you been moping down here?”
“I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep, so I hit the heavy bag for a while.” Lex busied herself by looking in one of the cabinets, feeling sad and a little guilty.
“Hmmm…well, let me finish eating, and then let’s go upstairs to see if Serena still wants to go with us. She may need some reminding,” Casey said, scratching behind her ear and grinning. “I don’t think she’s up yet.”
Lex smiled in return and felt herself start to cheer up a bit as she and Casey rehashed the previous evening, discussing the dinner (excellent), the club (a little weird, but fun), the men at the club (mostly gorgeous and mostly shameless), and the dancing. Lex liked the variety of music they had played, but Casey hadn't recognized a lot of it.
“I guess that just shows how long it’s been since I went to a club,” Lex sighed. “Most of the music I recognized was kind of out of date.”
“At least you recognized some of it,” Casey snorted out a laugh as she loaded her dishes into the dishwasher. “Come on, let's go find out about Serena.”
The hall upstairs stood silent until they knocked on Serena's door, the noise seeming to set off a commotion in the room beyond. The two of them heard something that sounded like a muffled request to wait and then Serena was standing in the doorway. Her hair was down, wild around her shoulders, with the little braids unraveling. She wore a short teal silk robe and looked a little tired still, but she smiled to see Lex and Casey, cocked her head in curiosity, and waited. Casey looked at her and then away with a slightly embarrassed expression as Lex returned the smile.
“Do you still want to come with us today?” Lex asked.
Serena’s eyes widened in alarm before she shook her head, looking annoyed with herself. “I didn't realize it was so late already. Can I meet you at the van in say, fifteen minutes?”
“Sure, that's fine,” Lex agreed.
Twenty minutes later, Serena appeared and stepped into the white van they’d been lent, getting into the back seat behind Lex and Casey. Dressed in perfectly fitting jeans and a tight black t-shirt, Serena had pulled her hair back in a ponytail. Neither of the other two women said anything as Lex started the engine, although Lex saw Casey turn her head to give Serena a hard look.
“Sorry, guys,” Serena mumbled. “I think my alarm clock fell off the nightstand.”
Lex and Casey exchanged a knowing smile, but when Lex looked in the rearview mirror to make sure Serena hadn’t thought they were mocking her, she saw that the other woman had lain back in the bench seat and closed her eyes. Lex smiled to herself and continued to carefully navigate the city streets, full of traffic on a Saturday afternoon.
Slightly after noon, Lex pulled into the loading dock behind Kurt's condo. She parked with the back of the van to the building and got out, her stomach clenching as she surveyed the familiar surroundings. Casey jumped out on the other side, then looked back at Serena and frowned.
“Do you think we should leave her here while we get things started?” she asked Lex quietly, looking doubtfully in the back of the van.
In response, Lex heard a noise inside the van. “I'm not that asleep, you know,” Serena said, sitting up slowly.
“Sorry,” Casey replied with a shrug and a sheepish look. “I didn't mean anything by it.”
“I know. Let's go on in.”
The three went up to the fifth floor by freight elevator. The closer they got to Kurt’s door the shakier Lex felt, but she took some deep breaths to steady herself once they arrived and got her keys out to open the locks. Her arms started trembling again a moment later when she realized that the locks looked different. Even though she knew they wouldn't work, she tried her keys, feeling her blood running alternately hot and cold in her veins with each failure. She stood there afterwards, her face turned down, burning with humiliation as hot anger pounded through her chest.
“Son of a bitch,” Lex heard Casey say behind her. “He changed the locks on you?”
She turned around, feeling half stuck in place as she struggled to think of what to do next. “I don't have a lot of things, but I would like to keep the few I have,” she said, feeling stupid and now wishing she’d taken more than her underwear.
Casey stepped forward and moved gently past her. Lex watched her pull the hem of her shirt out of her jeans to cover the doorknob with it. As she turned the knob, Casey leaned on the door. With a wrenching sound and a pop, the door gave way.
“What do you know? It was already open,” Casey said and Lex could hear the hard edge in her friend’s voice as she stepped inside and scanned the hallway.
All three of them froze when they heard a noise inside. “The bastard's here,” Serena whispered, her eyes narrowing.
They moved quietly down the hall towards the rest of the house then, Casey first, Lex in the middle, and Serena in the rear. When they came to the end of the hall, which was near the wall between the kitchen and the living room, Casey pointed to the kitchen.
“Lex, wait for us in there,” she whispered.
It was clear that the noise had come from the bedroom, but Lex did as she’d been asked and went into the kitchen. There was a big pass-through in the wall between the living room and the kitchen, however, so she had a clear view of anything that happened in much of the rest of the house, down to the open bedroom door in the far wall. She found her eyes moving over the kitchen then, re-examining everything. Lex felt as if she stood looking at a stranger's kitchen, even though she’d seen the room many times before and the faint scents of coffee and fresh bread felt heartbreakingly familiar. Hearing a noise, she turned towards the living room, feeling her shoulders tense.
Kurt had emerged from the bedroom wearing only boxers. They must have caught him sleeping in, Lex thought. She stifled the urge to simultaneously laugh and retch. Casey and Serena followed close behind, both trying to argue with him.
“If she's here, I want to see her. Where is she?” Lex heard Kurt say. Then, he caught sight of her in the kitchen. “Who are these people? Why are you here?”
“These are my friends. I told you I’d be here now to move my stuff out, and I asked you to have the courtesy to give us a few hours to do it.” She met his eye as she spoke, refusing to give him the satisfaction of appearing cowed.
“How did you get in here?” he asked, throwing her an accusatory look.
Lex continued to meet his gaze evenly, feeling anger start to rise up her spine. “Since you changed the locks, you mean? We were fortunate en
ough to find the door open, so we came in.”
He gave her a harsh stare then, trying to shame her with his eyes. “I can’t believe I was thinking of putting a ring on your hand. You’ve always been white trash, and that’s what you’ll stay.” Lex tried to keep her face stony, but couldn’t help a small flinch. He continued, “These 'friends' of yours seem even worse than the ones you used to have. Did you make them feel sorry for you with your poor little abused girl stories? I’ve told you a million times, it happened years ago, get over it!”
Lex’s head snapped up and she glared at him, her body almost moving to launch itself at him over the kitchen pass-through, but out of the corner of her eye she noticed Serena walking towards Kurt, fire in her eyes, so Lex steeled herself to stay put. As he stopped for breath, Serena snarled, “Enough!” placing her hand on his arm and disappearing. Lex and Casey both blinked and looked at one another in surprise, then Casey nodded.
“I guess Serena took care of that. I was wondering if I was going to have to throw him out.”
Lex nodded in agreement, her heart still beating crazily but starting to slow. “Thanks. Do you want to go downstairs and get some boxes while I pile up the things that need to be packed?”
Casey nodded and left on her errand. Lex took a deep breath, then began pulling all of her books of the shelves and stacking them on the floor. After a few minutes, Serena suddenly reappeared. Lex blinked at her, trying to smile despite the intense shame and waning anger she felt.
“Thanks for all of that,” she said.
Serena shook her head, smiling softly. “No need to thank me. It was kind of fun.”
She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and opened it, then gestured to Lex. “Come here for a minute.”
Lex approached and watched over her friend’s shoulder as Serena scrolled through a few pictures. She gasped and held her hand in front of her mouth as she saw the first one, which showed Kurt, still clad only in his boxers, standing rather unsteadily in front of a dumpster behind a large building. Over his head was a large sign proclaiming “Wet” in flashy letters with an arrow pointing to the front of the building. The next photo also showed the sign over his head and Kurt shouting and shaking his fist, and the third showed a view from somewhere above his head, taken looking down. He appeared beside himself with fury, and Lex also spotted rats milling around his slippers.
“I explained to him that he could be an adult and allow us to pack your things and leave, or that all of the local papers would be getting copies of these lovely photos and an explanation of how his parents’ favorite son was found behind this notorious gay strip club sleeping it off in his boxer shorts. I pointed out that this probably wouldn't improve his chances for public office, should he be planning that, and I just laughed at him when he threatened to call the police again. I asked him who would believe him right before I disappeared.”
Serena laughed a little evilly, and Lex choked with surprise before breaking out into uneasy laughter as well.
“Did you really leave him there? Where is it?”
“If you ever went to Tracks, it was in the same neighborhood, just a few blocks away.”
Lex had been there, and although she’d loved the club and felt sad when it had closed, she didn't remember the neighborhood fondly at all. It seemed dangerous and always looked half bombed out. She gasped.
“Do you think he'll be OK?” Lex asked, biting her lower lip.
Serena snorted. “Oh, the first payphone he finds, he'll be reverse-charge calling mommy and daddy to get his ass out of trouble. He'll be fine; people like that always are.”
She looked a little grim as she said that and fell silent, looking at the floor. Lex tentatively touched her friend’s arm, giving her a small grin. “Thanks again for taking up for me.”
Casey came back just as Serena smiled in return, so she had to show off the pictures and tell the story again. Lex couldn't help but laugh for real this time.
Then the three of them began collecting the rest of Lex's things. Casey ended up packing Lex's clothes and books while Serena worked on Lex's stuff from the bathroom and kitchen. Lex piled up her belongings and helped everywhere while she pulled all her files off Kurt's computer onto a USB drive. After a few hours’ work they had several boxes of books and miscellaneous kitchen and bathroom things, and a few garbage bags full of clothes. Lex did a final sweep of the house and found nothing else, but had a sudden thought about something she wanted to leave behind. She dove into the trash bags with her clothing in them, eventually pulling out the pink dress that Kurt had picked out for her.
“This is the dress he got me last Christmas. I think I told you about it, Casey,” said Lex, looking at it rather glumly, picking up a sleeve and then dropping it.
Serena snorted derisively. “Oh, it's hideous. So not you.”
“I think he only liked it because it covered my scars,” Lex replied with a frown.
“Where's the trash?” asked Serena, holding out her hands.
“There's a bin under the sink in the kitchen,” Lex answered, throwing her the offending garment.
Serena silently went to the kitchen, pulled out the trash can, and dropped the dress into it, stuffing it in further with her shoe. Casey laughed softly while Lex smiled a little and tried to hold back a chuckle. Serena rejoined them in the living room with a satisfied grin.
“OK, let's get everything out of here and get back,” Casey said, hefting a few boxes.
The van was packed and Lex found herself driving back to headquarters by 4:30. As Lex watched the building disappear in the rearview mirror, she found she didn't feel sad to see it go.
When they’d finished the slow drive back, Lex signed the van back in and Serena and Casey helped her carry the boxes and bags upstairs. Once everything was settled in a corner of Lex’s room, Serena turned to the other two.
“OK, ladies. I'm going to get ready to go out for the evening. Anyone else want to come along?”
Lex sighed and looked at Casey out of the corner of her eye. “I don't know. I'm feeling a little tired and was thinking that staying home and watching some movies sounded good tonight. What do you think, Casey?”
Casey smiled down at her. “Sounds good. I want to check out those martial arts films you told me about. Serena, how about another time?”
Serena smiled in response. “OK, just don't let Lex get down about breaking things off with that toad. Have fun, girls!”
After all of the moving, Lex didn't feel much like unpacking anything, so she and Casey made dinner, then changed into their pajamas and spent a long evening watching films in the open room overlooking the water that Lex had mentally begun calling the living room. They popped popcorn late that night and took turns trying out some of the more outrageous moves, laughing at each other’s attempts. When they both started getting tired, Lex put the films away and Casey cleaned up before they both trooped upstairs, saying their goodnights at the head of the stairs.
Lex had thought she might have difficulty getting to sleep, but she had barely fallen into bed before sleep came. She’d also assumed she’d have bad dreams, but the only one she remembered featured her sitting with her uncle on the rocks along the river leading to Niagara Falls, the two of them almost touching as they silently sat together watching the sunset.
Sunday slipped away as quickly as the river had in that dream, and it seemed a short time of studying strategy books and working out found Lex back in bed again, moving into the next week.
Chapter 11: Developments
Lex woke up to a loud alarm on Monday morning and moved to turn the clock off, but after that just continued to sit for a moment. She felt terrible, despite having gotten a good amount of sleep. She blinked grit from her eyes and her throat felt parched like she’d breathed dust all night. All of her limbs felt heavy and slow, as if unused for weeks. She staggered over to open the drapes and saw a grey day, grey water, and a grey city beyond. Beads of misty rain sat on her window, and she watched for
a moment as some grey gulls fought over a piece of trash over the water.
She slowly made her way into the shower, hoping it would help her wake up, but she didn't feel much better by the time she came out and dressed. Lex felt glad that all she had to do that day involved training with Mr. Chen, but she found herself unsure if she could do it. Something had her nerves feeling shot and wired at the same time and her stomach in a queasy slide. She had a sense that something awful was about to happen, and everything, down to the hair on her arms that seemed to be standing on end, had been clued in. Lex sighed as she went down to breakfast, feeling as if she was waiting for the inevitable blow to fall.
She sat at the kitchen island sipping hot tea and crunching her way through some granola that tasted of cinnamon, but she looked up when Casey appeared. Casey nodded and smiled, but narrowed her eyes once she took a good look at Lex.
“Are you OK? You look a little rough today.”
Lex shrugged. “I’ve felt a bit off since I woke up. I'm sure it’ll wear off as the day goes on.”
Casey nodded with uncertainty, but went about putting her breakfast together. As usual, they ate in a companionable silence until Lex got up a few minutes later to clear her dishes and head downstairs.
Lex trudged to the martial arts studio and felt something as she entered the room, like a shudder running across her whole body, and it left her slightly sick and scared. Looking at her pale face in the mirrors and trying to regulate her breathing, Lex did some simple exercises and stretches, hoping that she could at least warm herself up enough before Mr. Chen arrived to get her heavy limbs moving normally.
When he arrived, several minutes later, Lex felt worse, not better. She put on a brave face for him, though, greeting him as normal. He gave her a hard look and for a moment it seemed as if he’d ask her a question she didn’t know the answer to, but the moment passed and they began the normal routine of the day instead. Unfortunately, it went poorly from the start. Lex had trouble repeating a series of moves Mr. Chen had taught her the previous week, even though she’d been performing it perfectly before. She couldn’t block some of the simplest moves when they sparred, and by late morning Mr. Chen seemed irritated and Lex felt desperate and drowned, breathing hard, waiting for the next thing to be thrown at her.