by Lexy Timms
The admission.
I shook the memory from my mind, not allowing the words to penetrate my brain any longer.
There was no way in hell a woman like her could actually love someone. Not after doing what it was the entire town was convinced she had done. What I was convinced she had done in the pit of my gut.
I had no idea what I was going to do if I saw her in Anton’s house. How was I going to restrain myself in front of these non-profit people? I didn’t know how. I didn’t know where to begin. All I knew was I needed to get to Anton’s, get his house sold, and get this shit over with.
Then, I could deal with everything else.
Chapter 2
Michelle
I wiped at my tears as I packed my things up in Anton’s house. My hands shook as I stuffed everything back into my duffle bag. I didn’t care about the money Gray owed me. I didn’t care about the fact that I’d lost my job at the diner. I had to keep telling myself that all of this pushed me to something greater, especially since I had a life that would soon depend on me. Tears rushed my eyes as my hand fell back to my stomach. I had to get to a doctor. I had to get into the hands of a competent medical professional and I had to find myself a job again. A place to live.
But not in Stillsville.
I wasn’t staying in this damn town another second.
It was hard to see through my tears. But when all I had in the world was a ratty purse and a holey duffle bag of stuff, it really hit home how my life had hit rock-bottom. I looked over at the expensive clothes and jewelry Gray bought me while in Chicago. Clothes with tags still on them and jewelry that hadn’t even been worn yet. I could get a lot of money from those things if I sold them off. I could put that into a savings account for when I needed to purchase baby things. Maybe I’d open up a small investment portfolio or something to keep for future financial needs.
Either way, it was coming with me as well.
I folded down the bags gingerly, trying not to ruin the contents. Then I laid them on top of all my dirty, disgusting rags and zipped up the top of my duffle bag. I heaved it over my shoulder and reached for my purse, then took one last look around Anton’s home. The place had started to feel like the happiest place I’d ever inhabited. It was definitely the only place I’d ever felt safe. The only structure I walked into where someone was there to greet me with a smile instead of insults.
And now I was leaving. Heading to the only other place I had after admitting defeat to Stillsville, Illinois.
I only hoped my mother wasn’t in town to berate me like she usually did.
While I’d known that telling Gray about the pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy, I sure didn’t expect the reaction I got from him. He had gone from being the one of the most generous and supportive people I’d ever known, to turning his back on me in an instant. He had become cold. Bitter. The very essence of the people that had inhabited my life at one point. My mother. Andy. My old boss at the trucking company back in North Dakota.
In some ways, I was still in shock.
Walking out into the hallway, I could still see the ghost of him standing there. Wide eyes before they narrowed. Shoulders rolled back in defiance. Words so sharp they pierced my heart and left me bleeding on the floor. I had told that man I loved him. Words I hadn’t even uttered to Andy throughout the course of our tumultuous relationship. The only person I ever said them to anymore was my brother.
Wherever he was now.
I tossed my purse over my shoulder and started for the front door. If that asshole thought for one second I was sticking around because he told me to, he had another think coming. If he wanted me to talk to his lawyer, then he could chase me down. Because I wasn’t staying in Anton’s house, especially since people were scheduled to come by and see it that evening. I walked out the front door and shut it behind me, then slowly made my way down the sidewalk. The sun was hot and my feet already ached, and exhaustion unlike anything I’d ever known settled into my bones.
I couldn’t believe Gray thought I was after his money. That disgusting idea couldn’t be further from the actual truth. He had been the best boyfriend I’d ever had. If he had even been my boyfriend to begin with.
No.
He hadn’t ever been anything like that.
Gray never made me any promises. He just told me once that he wanted to get to know me better. That wasn’t a boyfriend. That was a curious counterpart. Nothing else. We never had an official conversation about what was going on between us. Not really. And in the end, I knew he was going to leave. Again. And so did he. If anything, I was a fling. We were a fling, and nothing else.
It was my fault I allowed myself to fall in love with him.
It was my fault I allowed myself to dream.
Just thinking about the fact that I’d been nothing but disposable to him made me sick to my stomach. As I walked down the sidewalk towards the bus station, my lip began to quiver. I wasn’t going to be sticking around this godforsaken town one second longer to see the next chapter of it. Gray had been right about this entire place. It chewed people up, sucked the hope from their veins, then spat them back out onto the hot tar asphalt. I’d never planned on getting pregnant. I’d never envisioned myself as a mother, especially with the kind of life I led. The kind of life I came from. But it wasn’t as if Gray put on protection himself. I wasn’t the only one responsible for this. He was equally as responsible.
I guess we’d both been a little too cavalier.
Now, the error of our ways was growing in my stomach. But that didn’t mean I was going to shirk my responsibilities like Gray apparently wanted to. He could order a damn paternity test all he wanted, but I knew this child was his. In the pit of my gut, despite the fears raging in my mind, I knew this child was Gray’s. And even though he didn’t love me, I loved him. So, in my mind, this child had been conceived in love. So, there was no reason in this world why a grown woman like myself with a strong back and an entire life ahead of her couldn’t scrape enough of a life together to take care of a child.
Gray thought I was trying to trap him. To get at his billions. But I couldn’t give a shit less about his money. It had obviously made him bitter and resentful, and my life was full of enough of that. My childhood had been full of enough of that and I didn’t need anymore. If his money came with that kind of attitude, he could keep it and all the shit that came with it. I didn’t need him or his dollar bills or anyone else to help me. I was determined to make a life for myself, even if Illinois didn’t want me.
I’m sure there was a place in my home state for me.
It did hurt to know that Gray thought so little of me. Especially when I thought so much of him. But the only thing I knew to do was put distance between us. To get out of his hometown in case he kept finding reasons to come back and make my life a living nightmare. Getting away from Andy and Grayson was what I needed to do. Getting away from Cecily and all the gossip was what I needed to do.
If I disappeared and stopped contacting Gray, maybe he wouldn’t even fuss with his army of lawyers.
It was time to grow up. Time to stop pussyfooting around and make a life for the tiny life inside of me. The first step was leaving Stillsville, then the second step was buying a bus ticket back to North Dakota. I hailed down a taxi when I saw it, then tossed my stuff in and unrolled a little bit of money for the ride. I didn’t want to be walking on the side of the road if Gray was lurking around somewhere. I wanted to get to the bus station as quickly as I could and get a one-way ticket back home.
At least, back to the place where I grew up.
Paying the cab driver, I tipped him a bit, then walked into the little bus stop ticket office. Part of me hated spending the money, especially since I needed to be saving it for the baby. But once I could get home and get a place to stay and establish residency there, I could start applying for some aid. Things that could help me buy groceries and get an apartment of my own and things like that.
“Where ya headed?” the m
an at the desk said.
“A one-way ticket to North Dakota, please,” I said.
“Any specific place? Or you just want to be dropped off at the first city I got a bus going to?” he asked.
I bit down onto the inside of my lip, knowing it was a risk to tell him. If someone knew where I was headed, then there was a chance Gray could bribe them for my location. Pay them money to know where I had gone so he could track me down.
But I needed to get home.
I needed to get back to somewhere familiar.
“Get me as close to Williston, North Dakota as you can,” I said.
And the man graciously took my money before handing me a one-way ticket out of that damn town.
Chapter 3
Grayson
I pulled up into the driveway beside a vehicle already sitting there. The engine was still running and a few people stood around it while Mr. Angier talked their damn ears off. I scowled as I shut my engine off, then got out of my car and drew in a deep breath. I had to keep myself calm. This was my best shot at unloading the last of my dedication to this stupid ass town before I could head back home and deal with everything else that was being thrown at my life. I knew I was twenty minutes late, but the mere fact that Michelle hadn’t bothered to invite people in when she knew it was being shown made me even angrier.
Selfish bitch.
“Apologies for my tardiness,” I said. “I needed to pick up a few things. I’m Gray MacDonald. The godson of the man who owned this property.”
“We’re so sorry for your loss,” a woman said as she held out her hand. “But we’re very interested in the property. And if you approve of our offer to purchase it, we promise it will be put to good use.”
“I have no doubt of that. I’ve done my research,” I said.
It was a lie. I hadn’t even looked at their damn website. I had been too busy dealing with other things. But giving people the impression that I’d done my research always kept them on their toes. It gave them the idea that I had the upper hand, not them.
And I really needed the upper hand with how things were going in my world.
“Come on. I’ll show you the property,” I said.
Opening the front door, I expected to smell her around the corner. But instead, the lights were off and her door was hanging wide open. I furrowed my brow and took a look around, expecting her to be lurking around or doing something to pass the time. I couldn’t waste any more time trying to locate her, though. Wherever she was, I’d deal with her along the way if we ran into her.
“The property is five thousand square feet with five bedrooms and four bathrooms—”
“Can the fifth bedroom be set up to have an ensuite bathroom?” the woman asked.
“Yes. Before my godfather passed, Anton was in the process of turning the second closet in that room into a nice bathroom. It’s not finished, but the plumbing is there,” I said.
“Wonderful. What about building permits? Could we get them approved to expand on the property?”
“Anton owns all the acreage this house sits on. There is a guest quarters a half a mile back on the property, though I can’t honestly say I know what condition it’s in.”
“It’s in working condition,” Mr. Angier said. “Two more bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. A private room that is currently being used as a library, a small kitchen, and a living and dining area.”
“That would be good for staff that stays overnight,” the woman said. “But the building—”
“I can work with you on acquiring the appropriate building permits to expand when the time comes,” Mr. Angier said with a smile.
As we walked around the house, I let him take the reins of the showing. He was providing more than acceptable answers and selling it at an angle I wasn’t too familiar with. Meanwhile, I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of Michelle. They took over an hour to walk through the house, going so far as to walk us all the way back to the guest quarters so they could take a look. But with each thing they saw, their eyes grew wider with excitement.
Which made Mr. Angier excited.
“Does the furniture come with the house?” the woman asked.
“If that’s something you want, it can most certainly be arranged,” I said.
“That would help us out a lot in the beginning,” the woman said as we made our way back to the front of the house. “While it’s still a little too soon since we have a small board of investors to talk with, I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be sending over an offer soon.”
Mr. Angier beamed from ear to ear at those words.
“We’ll be on the lookout,” I said. “And in the meantime, if you have any questions or concerns, you can contact me through Mr. Angier. Though it sounds like he has all the answers you could ever need.”
“He’s been very helpful, yes,” the woman said with a smile.
She shot Mr. Angier a look and I tried to suppress a grin. It seemed as if my realtor was helping himself to a little more than he initially bargained for.
“Thank you so much for letting us see the house, Mr. MacDonald.”
I shook the woman’s hand before leading the group of people to their car.
“Anytime,” I said, as I opened her door. “We’ll be in touch, I hope.”
“Trust me. We will,” the woman said.
Then she shot Mr. Angier one last look before getting into the car and driving off.
I said my goodbyes to my realtor, then went inside and shut the door behind me. Michelle had been nowhere to be found on the tour, and when I pushed her door open I didn’t see any of her things. Had she left? Why the hell did she do that? I specifically told her not to. I told her I’d need to get in contact with her eventually. If she was really carrying my child, why run at the sound of lawyers? I knew she had something to hide. Another mark against her in the ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ list I had going in my head.
Why run when someone had nothing to hide?
I wasn’t worried about finding her, though. Gold diggers always found me. All I had to do was wait, because the second she figured out how expensive it would be to foot all those medical bills on her own without any insurance or a job to keep her afloat? She’d find her way back to me.
They always did.
I went and sat down on the leather couch and tried to keep the memories at bay. I tried to push away all thoughts of Michelle as I sat back into the cushions and closed my eyes. The house felt empty now. Quiet. A little too quiet for my liking. And until I signed off on the purchase of Anton’s home, I’d have to stick around. I pulled myself up from the couch, groaning as I stood. There was a beat-up Chevy dripping with my guilt I needed to continue to repair.
The last shred of my past I needed to unload from my back.
As I popped the hood of the car and got to work, memories of my past came barreling back. I’d been a little shit as a kid. But despite my faults, Anton looked past all of that and gave me a second chance to do better. I had no idea how the hell the old man was so patient with me. I would’ve tossed my angry ass out on the street or enrolled me into a military program of some sort. He had been so generous and so gentle. Even now, after his death, I’d spent an entire month giving away his shit to people who needed it. Donating his surprising wealth to charities who needed it. Hell, I was about to sell his own damn house off to a non-profit I knew he’d get behind if he were still alive.
His generosity continued to amaze me.
I put in the last of the parts needed under the hood before grabbing the keys. I slid behind the steering wheel and put the key in the ignition, praying the damn thing wouldn’t explode. I cranked it up and heard it sputter to life, filling the garage with the roar of its engine. I throttled the gas a bit to see if the cooling system was working, and smiled from ear to ear when nothing blew up, smoked, or backfired.
All I had left to do was fix the cosmetic issues.
Even after I had wrecked Anton’s pride and joy by being a selfish, horny te
enager, Anton hadn’t kicked me out. Instead, he used it as an opportunity to teach me about respecting myself and others, as well as their property. But in his eyes, I saw that disappointment. And the fact that his car had gone unrepaired for so long showed me how much the wreck had truly hurt his heart. Or possibly scared him. I wasn’t sure. And now, I wouldn’t have the chance to ask.
All I could do was fix it up and hope that, somewhere, Anton was smiling down on my efforts.
A thread of guilt crept into my mind and I pushed it away. I turned the car off and slid from the seat, shutting the door behind me. Sure, I wrecked a car. Most teenagers did at some point in time. But that was nothing compared to getting knocked up in order to trap a man. I wasn’t casting Michelle off to the side after wrecking her. She was the one running around behind my damn back! For all I knew, that child was Andy’s!
Three other times.
I’d been through this three other times with women. One of which almost succeeded in her endeavors.
I’d never felt anything for those women. Not a shred of emotion. One of them was a decent one-night stand, the other I met at a party and made out with for a little bit, and the third was a girl I courted for two weeks before I caught her blowing her damn boss in her shitty apartment. I’d never felt anything for those women. Not before, not during, and especially not after what they put me through.
But Michelle had been something else entirely.
Another day or two with her and I would’ve been professing my undying love or some bullshit like that. She had me wrapped around her little finger, and she knew it. She knew I was face-deep in her body. She knew I was addicted to her. Then she goes and tries to drop some stupid bomb that she’s in love with me? When I don’t react to her pregnancy the way she wanted me to?