by Angela Blake
“I’m really sorry, Claudia.”
***
She wheeled around, and saw Archer standing there, pain, sadness and concern etched onto his features as he gazed at her solemnly.
“How long have you been standing there?” She angrily wiped away the tears.
“Since the start of the phone call. I was looking for you to ask if you wanted to go for a walk or something then I heard your conversation, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have.” Claudia defiantly crossed her arms over chest and met his gaze squarely.
“I know I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry about that, but I’m even sorrier that you had to go through so much loss, but Claudia you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Claudia felt a spike of anger. “Don’t you dare. You don’t get to comment on my life, or what happened in it. I don’t want your sympathy, keep it.”
“It’s not sympathy, Claudia.” Archer strode towards her, and took her hand in his. “It’s called compassion. What happened to them isn’t on you. Yeah, you shouldn’t have run, but sometimes, when we’re hurt, or angry, we tend to lash out or run away from the things that matter to us the most.”
“And you think you’re some kind of expert on this?” She angrily snatched her hands away and turned her back on him.
She heard him sigh deeply. “I’m not an expert no, but I’ve also run away from the people that I loved. I thought they couldn’t accept me as I am, the kind of things I was into, and I ran. By the time, I realized that they actually did love me just as I am, they had already moved on.”
“I’m sorry.”
She felt Archer come to stand behind her, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay to make mistakes, Claudia. It doesn’t make you weak, or a horrible person. It makes you human, and mistakes are the only way we learn. You need to forgive yourself, and do better, Claudia. It’s okay to do that.”
“It’s not that simple, Archer.” She melted into his touch and reached for his hand. He let his fingers intertwine with hers. “I let my parents down. I let Jacob down. I wasn’t strong enough to be there for them when the cancer came, and then when Jacob got it, I freaked out. I started to believe that I was the reason they were getting it. I was the common factor after all, so I thought I was being punished for something that I did.”
Archer moved her hair back and laid his head on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Claudia. It’s time to let go now. The hardest part is forgiving yourself, but you can do it. I’ll help you do it.”
He said the last words with such infinite tenderness that Claudia felt something inside of her unlock and melt into a puddle on the ground. She turned in his arms, searched his eyes and pressed her lips to his. She allowed herself to stay there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of his arms resting on her shoulder, nestling her in a cocoon of warmth.
She pulled back, took his hand and led him up the stairs, down the hallway and to the bathtub in his bedroom. She wordlessly switched on the water, and as they waited for it to fill the tub, she slowly stripped, making sure to keep eye contact with him the entire time. He began to follow her lead till they were both facing each other buck naked.
Claudia slowly walked towards him and lifted his hands up, so they rested on her shoulders. She kissed him deeply and began to bite down on his lip. Once he opened his mouth to let her in, Claudia began to move backward pulling him towards her as they stepped into the water causing some of it to slosh over the side.
Archer opened his legs, and Claudia climbed in between them till they were pressed up against each other with not an inch of space between them. He let his fingers travel down till he reached her center, and he began to rub her furiously. She came a minute later, her quiet moaning filling the spacious bathroom.
He buried his head in her breasts and began to nuzzle them as Claudia pressed him closer. Her hand reached down and guided him into her, so he filled her up. Archer stilled for a moment before he lifted his eyes to hers and gave her a sweet kiss.
He began to move slowly inside of her as Claudia rode him up and down maintaining eye contact the whole time. The sound of their bodies moving against each other was like music to both their ears. Archer began to suck and bite on her breasts until Claudia tossed her head back and wrapped her arms around his shoulder.
Her fingers began to dig into his back leaving marks that she was sure would be visible in the morning, but in the moment, she didn’t care. All that mattered was the two of them caught in their own bubble, oblivious to anything that existed outside the bathroom, and the way their bodies moved in sync.
“Should I move faster?” she panted.
He brought his hands around her ass and squeezed hard. “Yes.”
She nodded and began to lift herself up slowly then sit back down. She did it slowly at first, but then faster and faster till she set a pace where they were both pulling each other closer and moaning alongside each other.
“Oh, God, Archer I –”
He pressed his finger to her lips. “Shhh, it’s okay. Me too. I love how you feel pressed against me like this while I’m buried deep inside you, feeling every inch of your delicious pussy.”
“I think I’m close.”
Archer sank his teeth into her neck and brought his hand up to the front to rub her while he was inside of her. She sucked in a harsh breath as she felt her orgasm building it up to a crescendo. “Come on, baby.”
He began to play with her breasts until they felt like pebbles. He lowered his lips to the nipple and murmured. “Come for me, babe.”
He sank his teeth into her nipples, and with that Claudia went tumbling over the edge, her entire body spasming in pleasure as her own orgasm pushed Archer over the edge. He grunted as he came, and they both sat there, breathing heavily, and their bodies shining with sweat.
Archer slowly pulled out of her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He scooped her into his arms, and they sat there for a while, letting the water slosh all over them, the only sounds being heard was that of their quiet breathing, and two hearts that were slowly opening up to each other. Archer pulled back and began to scoop up the water and place it over her.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m washing you. Shhh, just close your eyes and relax.”
Claudia eyed him skeptically for a moment before she closed her eyes and leaned into him. She felt him shift, and next thing she knew, he was running a loofah all over her body, gently scrubbing every inch of skin he could find. She tingled at his touch, and she sighed in contentment as he began to wash her off after that. He tangled his fingers in her hair and gently massaged her hair while he washed it.
When he was finished, Claudia’s eyes flew open, and she turned around to face him as she began to do the same to him. She made sure to kiss every inch of skin available as she washed him all the while feeling her heart ache at the tender look on his face.
She didn’t dare let herself hope.
When she was done, she took his hand in hers and gently placed a kiss on it, letting her lips linger a second too long. He responded by doing the same, the emotion between them unspoken.
She leaned forward and placed her head in the crook of his shoulder and breathed deeply as his arm came up around her. “Archer, what’s going to happen now?”
He kissed her shoulder. “I don’t know, Claudia. I’ve never been here before.”
She swallowed as she gazed up at him. “Me neither.”
They lapsed into silence once more. “I’m not afraid with you, Archer. You make me feel safe. I know you said there’s a darkness inside of you, but there’s a darkness inside of me too. Everyone has both light and dark. It’s important to find the people who can accept both.”
Archer kissed the top of her head. “I couldn’t agree more.”
Claudia wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed deeply letting his scent washing over her, and allowing herself a brief mo
ment where she could actually enjoy being with a man without worrying.
She knew there were always risks in her life, but losing her mum, and then the first guy she ever loved had made her cautious in a way that almost hardened her heart. She didn’t like that it had done that to her, but she knew that at the time, it was what she needed to do to survive. She shouldn’t have taken things so far, for so long. She definitely shouldn’t have run away when Elizabeth got sick, but the second she felt that ugly monster rear its head at her, she felt her flight instinct kick in, and without thinking twice, she bolted.
She traveled to the end of the world to forget about the life she left behind, wanting nothing more than to shed her old life like one would shed old skin, but she knew she couldn’t do that anymore than you could change your DNA. The only thing she could do is forget, make life changes that were so far from where anyone ever thought she could be, and follow through it. The most important thing was maintaining a healthy amount of distance between herself and anybody she could get too close to. She didn’t think she could bear to go through that kind of pain, so she simply took herself out.
The memory of her parents, and Jacob ached too much, in places she never even knew she could ache, so she stood there, watching, and waiting for something. A sign that that she could lay down her armor and drink.
Being in Archer’s arms right now with him trailing meaningless patterns up and down her arms, this was the closest she’d come to ever feeling safe in such a long time. She couldn’t recall ever feeling this much peace, that much hope probably since she was little, but it all came rushing back.
She wasn’t sure what that meant for them especially given the nature of their relationship. She wasn’t under any illusions, and she wasn’t looking for false pretenses. However, somewhere in her heart of hearts, she wondered if maybe he could feel more than affection for her. She already knew that he was fond of her. That much was obvious, especially given how tender he was today.
There was something in the way he held her right now, lightly, and softly as if he were afraid she would break.
“Archer?”
“Hmm?” He was drawing patterns on her back in the water causing her entire body to shiver in delight.
“Should we get out of the water? It’s starting to get cold.”
Chapter Seven
Archer removed his hands, and the second he did, Claudia felt an instant cold spread throughout her body that had nothing to do with the cold water. She wrapped her arms around herself as she sat there for a minute longer watching Archer’s muscles flex as the water rippled off of them, sliding down in smooth rivulets.
He got out of the shower and strode towards a cabinet where he pulled out two bathrobes. He quietly slipped into his, and brought hers over. Claudia stood up, and he helped her put it on and rubbed his hands up and down her arm.
Claudia smiled at him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He stood back and gave her the once over. “You could definitely pull off the bathrobe look.”
“Could I now?” She laughed as she tried to strike a sexy pose.
Archer pretended to whistle as he clapped his hands together. “Hubba, hubba. There you go.”
Claudia bit her lips and batted her eyelashes. “Like this?”
“Whoa, baby. Yeah.”
They both laughed, and before she knew what was happening, Archer had bent over, scooped her in his arms and was cradling her against his chest as he headed towards the bedroom.
Claudia began to squirm. “Archer, put me down. I’m perfectly capable of walking on my own.”
“I’m perfectly aware of that, you little smart ass.” He pinched her ass, and Claudia yelped as she shot him a dirty look. “Is that really necessary while I’m in this position?”
“It’s the perfect position.” A mischievous grin lit up his face as he allowed his hands to snake under the bathrobe and begin to explore.
“Is that so?” Her voice came out sounding husky as she tried to keep her hold on his neck from slipping. Her grip tightened as his hands slid over his stomach.
“Oh, yes, very much.”
His hands glided over her breasts, briefly pausing to pinch her nipples before they moved back down to trace her thighs. “Haven’t you ever been carried like this before?”
Claudia pretended to think. “I can’t say that I have. I didn’t know there was certain etiquette involved when I do.”
“Oh, there definitely is,” he said seriously.
“Like what?” she prompted.
“Well, for starters, no clothing is preferred, but if you absolutely must wear something then it needs to be skimpy or accessible or both.”
“Understood. Does this mean I get A+ for nailing the first one?”
His gaze slide to hers. “Oh, absolutely. You breezed through it.”
Claudia gave him a flirty grin. “What’s the next point?”
“What?” Archer looked distracted before he shook his head. “Oh, yes. The second point. Well, regardless of whether it’s skimpy or accessible, no panties or bras allowed under any circumstances.”
Claudia pretended to glance at her robe. “I think I’m covered there too.”
“There’s too much covering going on if you ask me.”
He gently laid her down on the bed and crawled up next to her.
“Really? Why is that?”
Archer cupped her neck. “Because look at this robe. The material is very flimsy. It will never do. I need to order you a new one.”
“Flimsy material? What are you talking about? This has got to be the softest robe I’ve ever seen.”
She buried her face in the robe and rubbed her face against it in order to feel the smooth softness against her face. “You need better standards.”
He titled her head up, pressed a brief kiss to her lips. “Anyways, as I was saying. Very flimsy material. I mean, I bet one could just try to remove it, and it would rip open by itself.”
Claudia laughed. “I very much doubt that.”
“I can prove it to you.” Archer slid his hands inside and tried to remove the robe. After a minute of pretending, ultimately he just tore the fabric open leaving her completely exposed.
“See? Flimsy material.”
Claudia blushed as she tried to cover herself, still feeling self-conscious around him even though he’d seen her like this a million times before. Archer shot her an amused grin as he gently lowered her arms. “Don’t do that. You’re beautiful. I want to be able to look at you.”
“So are you,” Claudia blurted out, suddenly feeling very nervous now that there was something different between them.
One eyebrow went up. “You think I’m beautiful? Well, it’s not that I’m not flattered, but that is a strange word to use.”
“Aw, did I hurt your fragile male ego?” she teased as she pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Archer snorted. “Fragile male ego? How dare you, woman? I’ll have you know, my ego is made of steel, impenetrable, I say.”
Claudia leaned forward and began to push his robe down. “Really?”
She could see his Adam’s apple bob up then down. “Really.”
“You don’t sound very convincing.”
“I don’t?”
Claudia managed to slip off his robe, and she pushed it away as she leaned forward and began to kiss his neck. She took his earlobe between her teeth and gently nibbled on it. “No, you really don’t. You really need to work on your persuasive skills.”
Archer pounced her and pressed her to the mattress. “Is that so? I guess you’ll have to teach me then.”
***
For the next few days, Archer and Claudia were caught in a beautiful little bubble where nothing and no one else mattered. They spent the entire time from the minute Archer got back from work till the minute they drifted off out of exhaustion talking, laughing and teasing each other just like an ordinary couple.
&nb
sp; Claudia knew they weren’t an ordinary couple though. Far from it in fact.
Nothing about their situation was normal, and whenever she thought about it, worry and anxiety flooded her, and she wondered if she was reading too much into it. What if Archer’s feelings simply abated the second her time was up?
Technically after that, she was a free agent. Where she chose to go, and who she chose to spend her time with was entirely up to her, and with what she was being paid, she could afford to not work for the rest of her life.
Claudia didn’t want to think about that though. The thought of leaving Archer behind filled her with an unimaginable sadness that made her paralyzed with fear. She simply couldn’t imagine not waking up to his smile, or sparing with him across the dinner table.
She wanted so much to hear him say it, to hear those words leave his lips. All he had to do was ask, and she’d be his, but instead every time Claudia broached the subject, he’d tactfully change it to something lighter and neutral, and Claudia unable to bear the thought of losing him while she was still here, would play along and pretend that it wasn’t important.
She didn’t know how much longer she could keep doing it especially with only a week left in this big mansion she had grown to call home. For the first time in a really long time, Claudia actually felt like she belonged, and she didn’t want to lose that feeling.
Archer was her home.
She just had to figure out how to tell him that without freaking him out.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Claudia gave him a small smile. “I think they’re worth so much more than that.”
“Greedy, are we?”
Archer scooped her up into his arms, and Claudia took a second to admire his fit form clad in loose sweatpants and a t-shirt. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. “Archer?”
“Hmm?”
She took a deep breath and decided to just go ahead and say it. “I like you.”
“I should certainly hope so,” he teased her.