Curse and Whisper

by A J Gala

  Ashbel stood on the hill, looking down at all the land he had traversed as damp wind tousled his long black hair. One of the Startlam family’s staff approached him.

  “My lord,” he reached out for the horse’s reins, “I will tend to your mount. Please come inside and wash up. We have a change of clothes for you, and dinner is almost ready.”

  The prince let out a deep breath. His whole body was sore. He would’ve preferred going straight to bed upon his arrival, but nagging thoughts about Anavelia would have kept him awake. The conversation he was to have with her couldn’t wait any longer.

  “Thank you,” Ashbel said. “Lead the way.”

  Glenyard Castle’s interior was cold and drafty, but its white stone walls were crisp and uplifting. As weary as he was, Ashbel walked the halls suddenly wide-eyed and ready for business. He passed exotic ferns hanging by windows and crystal sculptures that would have displayed rainbow patterns on the walls had there been any daylight left. He was eager to wake up in the morning and see it all.

  The Startlams were attentive hosts. Ashbel freshened up, wiping away his scraggly orphan appearance, and picked through the clothes they had provided him. The tailored tunics were perfectly his size—but a little darker than he would have preferred, and a little tighter too. He missed the roomy sleeves he wore beneath his doublets.

  He walked into the Startlams’ private dining room looking and feeling much older than twelve. Anavelia was already seated at the table, wearing a loose-fitting dress cut from the same fabric as his own attire. She reached across the table with dainty cutlery to serve herself dinner.

  “Ana.”

  She looked up at him with a bright smile. “Ash! I’m so relieved you made it.” She beckoned for him to take the seat closest to her. “I always worry for you when you travel, but I trust Allanis sent you with a strong escort?”

  He hesitated before taking the seat. “No. I insisted on traveling alone.”

  “But you at least took Titha with you.”

  He breathed in deep, puffing out his chest a little, trying to untie the anxious knots inside of him, but it didn’t work. He let the breath out.

  “No. She stayed in Suradia.” He didn’t meet her glare. “I insisted on traveling alone.”

  She set her cutlery down. “Do you have any idea how dangerous—”

  “Of course I knew it would be dangerous! But I was smart, and I made it here just fine!” He threw his arms up with a huff. He was tempted to go on about how she was always so quick to underestimate him, but the soreness in his joins shushed his temper, and he fixed his eyes on his empty plate. “But perhaps I will ask the Startlams to spare a person or two to accompany me back to Suradia.”

  Anavelia relaxed her shoulders a little and let the silence iron out the tension. She took Ashbel’s plate and piled it with the Startlams’ dinner offerings. Lightly fried river fish, acorn noodles in brown butter sauce, and brined olives. She hadn’t served anyone in a long time, not even herself. But in the quiet moment alone with Ashbel, it was reminiscent of her early years on Mirivin. Before she had wooed Venta and become Queen of Saunterton, she remembered living and working in a fancy Emrin’s Home for Girls who’d become orphaned but with large inheritances. After running away from the Kasatta Mainland with her father’s money when he’d sworn service to a criminal lord, she fit the bill. She had kept her baby brother cooped up in their little room in the home’s attic and had fed him scoops of smashed vegetables in the evenings.

  “I missed you,” she said, handing him back the plate. “The month is more than halfway gone. It feels like you’ve been away forever, though.”

  “I’ve been so busy in Suradia that I suppose I haven’t had much time to feel homesick.” He stared down at the food. The potent brine from the olives made his eyes water. “I would have written more. Perhaps about less dire topics.”

  “I should have written more too.” She reached for her glass, now half-full with a floral wine from the Startlams’ best collection. “But at least we’re here to celebrate good news!”

  He drummed his fingers on the table and shut his eyes tight for a moment.

  “Are we?”

  Anavelia grumbled as she took a sip. “Oh, Ash. I was really hoping the time away from home would have quelled that ridiculous grudge of yours!”

  Ashbel raised his finger in the air. “It isn’t unfounded! I can’t prove it yet, but I promise you, it isn’t unfounded! You can’t possibly chastise me for my dangerous choices when you’re choosing to marry that slimy idiot!”

  “Ashbel!” she hissed. “He will be king! You cannot call him a slimy idiot!”

  “You’re lucky I’m not calling you a slimy idiot for marrying him!”

  She could not manage words beyond a low, garbled warning noise and shook her head in disbelief.

  “You…” She jutted her jaw out. “The audacity of you!”

  “Pff!” He shrugged his shoulders. “You know I’m right. You always have! And it’s not like I’m the only one who has said it. Master Otes has told you plenty of times that Orin is untrustworthy! Tell me, sister, why bother having advisors if you aren’t going to listen to them?” He popped an olive in his mouth.

  She grabbed her glass again and stared inside, debating on what to say next. She wanted to tell him the entire truth but wasn’t sure if she could stand him rubbing it in her face. Because the truth was that he had been right.

  “Ash, I need to tell you something. And it can’t leave this room.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Please don’t say you’re pregnant. And if you are, that had better be your only glass of wine tonight. The court physician tells you that constantly, and you should at least listen to him—”

  “I’m not pregnant!” she spat. “So calm down! But I want you to understand something. I can’t explain the way I feel about Orin. He makes me act so crazy. You know that. Everyone knows that. But for some reason, I feel so cold when he’s away.” She stared down the length of the table at nothing with an empty sadness in her eyes. “I thought, by now, I would understand what love is. What it feels like. That I would know when it happened. Not just for my own sake but for your sake. You should be able to look up to me and know that I am capable of finding love without disaster.

  “But maybe that’s what love is. Maybe it just is disaster. In some kind of way.” She turned her dark brown eyes back to him. Her little frown seemed disappointed at herself. “And my heart wants that stupid disaster that Orin is.”

  “I find it odd that you keep referring to him as a disaster even though you ‘love’ him.”

  “I’m saying it because you were right.”

  Ashbel straightened his back. “What?” His sore muscles cried out in protest, but his attention was too piqued to care.

  “I shouldn’t have trusted Orin. He…”

  She sighed. Where to begin? She didn’t want to be scolded, but maybe she deserved it.

  “When I received your letter, I started to panic. I panicked about Allanis finding out about the mission I’d sent Sinisia on, naturally, but it led me back a step. Orin was the one who had convinced me it was something I should do. All at once, I panicked about Allanis, about Orin’s motives, and about my own feelings for him. I cornered him, and he confessed everything he had been up to.”

  Ashbel just stared at her, unblinking.

  “Davrkton has been sworn to us since Orin’s father was duke. But Orin’s father also swore fealty to Vandroya, in secret. So this whole time, Davrkton has been feeding Vandroya information about Saunterton.”

  He didn’t realize he had balled up his fists. They were shaking in his lap.

  “Orin told me that the entire reason he’d come to Saunterton to sit on my Council and represent Davrkton was not necessarily to continue feeding information to Vandroya but so that he could find a way to break those fealties. Orin and his sister want Davrkton to become independent again. Orin’s plan was to win my heart and convince me to allow Davrkton to break
its fealty with me, but when that seemed unlikely to ever happen, he stayed to use my resources to complete a favor for King Mabus in Vandroya so that he might break fealty with him.”

  “And you did not kill him that very second?”

  “I thought about it.” She picked at the fish on her plate that had gotten cold. “Orin had convinced me to pursue Aleth Hallenar, made me think that there was information that he had that I could use. But really, he was going to feed that information to King Mabus. That’s what the favor was. King Mabus has some kind of list.” She shrugged. “I think he may have acquired it from Lord-Hunter Cyrus somehow, but I’m not sure. All I know is that it’s a list of people the Lord-Hunter wants to track down for some reason. Orin says there’s one name on the list that Mabus recognized. Hallenar. Mabus wants to get Lord-Hunter Cyrus out of Vandroya, and he thinks that for whatever reason, Aleth Hallenar—who is on that list—can make it happen.

  “And you should know that I had called Sinisia off the mission before I knew all of this. But Orin also confessed that he’d essentially been blackmailing Sinisia to do it anyway. Told her that her father was being imprisoned by Mabus and that, as long as she did what he told her to, he would convince Mabus to keep the man alive. But of course, it was a lie. Her father is dead. And I’m not sure what she’ll do when she finds out.” Anavelia raised her glass to Ashbel. “So I do owe you some credit. You were not wrong about Orin.”

  Ashbel couldn’t find his breath. “And despite all of this treachery, which is one count after another after another, you choose to marry him? I understand that you ‘love’ him—” he spared a second to roll his eyes, “—and I’m glad that you’re happy, but this is stupid! It’s stupid for Saunterton! How can you put your happiness above the entire city? He is not a safe choice to marry, and I’m sorry, but you’re a queen, and you have to marry for more than a pretty face and the ability to carry on a conversation! You have so much more to consider than the average person, so act like it!”

  The heat of her temper crawled up her body at his harsh words. But he was right. It wasn’t fair to yell at him. He was right, and he always was.

  “I’ll make it work,” she said. Her voice was small. “I’ll prove it to you that it can work, Ash. He betrayed me, us, our city, but he isn’t without regret. And he loves me too. He wouldn’t have confessed otherwise. This will not be a mistake.”

  “I want to believe you.” He crossed his arms. “I’m doing great things for Suradia, sister. I really am. I’m getting the chance to really help Allanis. After how hard I worked to learn everything that I have, it feels great to finally do something with it instead of wandering Lovell Keep day after day, trying to entertain myself. But you must be careful. You have put me in the middle of something, and if it gets any worse, someone might get hurt. And it could be me.”

  “Ash, believe me, I know! That has been on my mind—”

  “You seem to know, but you don’t seem to care!” he shouted. “Allanis has been your close friend for years, and I feel like she’s mine now too. But she won’t be for long if you keep this up. You have to stop meddling in her affairs! Sinisia should have never gone after Aleth or Rhett, and you never would have had her go after either in the first place if it weren’t for Orin!”

  Anavelia’s eyes stung with the sudden threat of tears. She blinked them away, and Ashbel continued.

  “You should know that Allanis’s Master of Dusk is no joke!” he warned. “Ravina Songo is patient and resourceful, and if Allanis finds out about Sinisia’s meddling, I don’t know what will happen! If you tell her it was Orin’s idea, she’s going to question your marriage to someone who would betray her! If you cover for him and say it was your idea, I doubt it will go over much better. She’s going to be upset either way, and so I must ask: What about me? How am I going to convince her that I had nothing to do with it?”

  Anavelia sniffled, then nodded vigorously.

  “Sister, you should meet up with her before it’s too late. Before she finds out what happened and makes up her mind about you. I believe that if you fess up and apologize, the damage can still be repaired. Don’t make an enemy out of Allanis, sister. Please, I beg you. You’re friends, so fix this!”

  “I will, Ash. I will.”

  Her quiet, shameful words filled the room. But he didn’t believe them. It hurt him to suddenly realize that he simply didn’t believe she would follow through.

  “Please reconsider your marriage,” he said, softening his voice. He reached for her hand and held it tight. “Please. I will help you break off the engagement and send him back to Davrkton. I’ll even come home to console you. Please, Ana.”

  “Ash.” Her voice broke, and she cleared her throat. “I won’t break off the engagement. I am going to marry Orin.” She placed her hand over his. “I love him, and I honestly believe our bond will be a good thing for Saunterton. But would you please come home anyway? Come home and help me plan the wedding. Perhaps you can even get to know Orin a little better.”

  Ashbel slipped his hand away and went back to picking at his food.

  “I’m going back to Suradia to continue the duties you sent me for. But I will begin to ponder my return home. I assume you will want to have me attend the wedding?”

  “Yes, of course. I hope you won’t make me wait too long.”

  He’d stay in Suradia forever if it meant holding up the wedding, but he knew she’d lose her patience before long and send for him. He dared to glance up at her and saw her puffy, glassy eyes staring back.

  “At the very least,” she started, “will you agree to stay the night at Glenyard Castle? I know how you get when we argue… you tend to bolt off at the nearest opportunity…”

  “Yes.” He grunted. “I will wait till morning to leave for Suradia. Now, do you suppose we could lighten things up? Give me the wine. I need a glass of wine.”

  A little grin fought its way onto Ana’s lips. “You’re a child. Wine isn’t good for you.”

  “Hah!” He crawled up onto his chair and leaned over the table for a glass and the wine bottle. “If I’m such a child, explain how I managed to improve the economy in Suradia better than any grown adult. Explain my vast wealth of competence!”

  The tension waned from the room, and giggles and chuckles took its place as Ashbel and Anavelia tried to make the most out of the last hours of the night.

  Vayven 20, 1144

  Madame Blanche had been promised the night off after days of scrambling around to tend to this and that. She’d earned it, and everyone echoed the same statement. She made her final rounds for the day and ended at the infirmary.

  “Lady Adeska.” The woman eyed the eldest Hallenar sister wandering the room. “You should not be upright. Lay down.”

  “I feel fine, Madame Blanche.” She smiled, the low light of the room barely catching on her perfect teeth.

  Adeska had been alone in the infirmary. Her corner was the only one lit. A handful of white pillar candles dripped wax all down her nightstand, and white and purple pansies that Rori had dropped off drooped from lack of sun over the edge of a turquoise ceramic. Madame Blanche couldn’t blame her for wanting to get away from it all.

  “Alright,” she said. “But I won’t let your family hold me responsible if you reopen that wound of yours.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Adeska was careful not to laugh. “This is the end of your shift anyway, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. I finally get to relax and maybe even sleep like a normal person tonight.”

  “Would you do me a favor and walk me a ways, maybe just to the grand hall?” Adeska asked. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen anything outside this room, and my legs could use the exercise.”

  “Let us take a walk, my lady.”

  She took Adeska by the elbow, and they strolled out of the infirmary and down the halls. There weren’t many others around with them, but they caught sight of Gavin and Isa and exchanged greetings. When they reached the grand hall, Madame Blan
che left her with a parting shoulder pat.

  The grand hall wasn’t as dark as Adeska remembered it. When it was just the family living in House Hallenar, the grand hall would be only sparsely lit and left to grow pitch black through the night. Now, no matter what time it was, beautiful and ornate lanterns beamed down, casting an intimate glow across the long table and all its silver candlesticks.

  She wanted to sit, but the soreness of her stitches stopped her. She settled for running her fingertips along the tabletop. She wondered where her children were sleeping and if they were being well cared for. She wondered about Cent and Phio. Her heart had broken when Allanis told her they’d run off, but she could really only hold bitterness toward Allanis. No one else. She had driven them away.

  Adeska knew it was her own fault, though. Her own stupid actions lead to the reveal that set everything off. Centa, of course, only had himself to blame for what he had done with the knife. But Allanis had taken no extra steps to help save her marriage or her family.

  “You shouldn’t be out here.”

  The playful voice came from behind her. She grinned and turned around to see Lazarus at the other end of the table, grinning back at her.

  “I know, I know.” She meandered his way. “I’m disobeying doctor’s orders.”

  “Are you expecting someone?” He gestured to the entrance just down the hall.

  “No. I was just tired of feeling like a prisoner in the infirmary.”

  Lazarus stood with her, and they walked a leisurely lap around the table.

  “How are you?” he asked. “And I don’t just mean your wound.”

  “Honestly?” She sighed, and he put his arm around her shoulder. “I’m a little irritated. I’m so tired of having to be understanding all the time. Allanis went too far, Lazarus. She never should have kept Centa locked up like that.”

  “I owe you an apology. I’m sorry I interfered,” he said. “I should have left you and Centa alone. I’m sure you two could have reached a better conclusion had I not stepped in.”