by O E Tearmann
"Kev?" Aidan whispered a long time later, his fingers running feather-light circles on Kevin's back. "Thank you. Seriously."
"You're sweet," Kevin chuckled, kissing his collarbone. "But you don't need to thank me. I did it because I enjoyed it. Don't need to thank me for enjoying myself, or you," he added thoughtfully, watching his bedmate.
Aidan really was grateful. Had things really been that bad for him, that he felt this much gratitude for a nice morning's lay?
He was Duster born, Kevin knew that. He thought it wasn't so bad for Duster kids to be outside the norm. What had happened to Aidan?
That father of his. And some man had hurt him once. He knew that much.
There was so much he didn't know about this man. So much he needed to find out, before he made a hash of something.
Aidan just shook his head and held Kevin closer. Kevin breathed in the scent of Aidan for a time, basking. Then he stretched.
"Right. Breakfast. If we don't get up, we'll be left with the soggy tofu everyone else has refused." He smirked. "Or as Sarah calls it, Breakfast of Nymphos. You can guess why."
"So the breakfast she and Yvonne eat every day?" Aidan asked with a crooked little smile.
"Every day off at least," Kevin agreed with sleepy good humor, smiling as he slipped off the bed and walked carefully around the side, feeling along his bedside table until his fingers found his glasses case. He slipped the glasses on and stretched again, feeling the sweet reminder of afterglow in his hips and smiling with satisfaction. Most definitely worth the wait.
Glasses on, he watched Aidan dress while absently dropping his dirty clothes in the hamper and pulling out fresh things. He couldn't help but smile when Aidan glanced his way. In here, in private, he saw that endearing candor on his face again this morning.
"I should swing by my room," Aidan muttered without meeting Kevin's gaze as he self-consciously adjusted his chest under the mesh of his binder. What a nightmare that thing was going to be to take off on a regular basis, Kevin thought absently. He'd almost gotten his fingers stuck last night.
"Grab some clean clothes so we don't get tortured. Um, can you…"
"Can I…?" Kevin tipped his head when Aidan froze, waiting.
Aidan swallowed. "Can you… Can we keep this kind of under the radar?"
Kevin gave the man an incredulous smirk. "Aidan, you have met our base, I assume? What do you think the chances of secrecy are?"
Aidan looked away, and Kevin's smile faded. He looked so vulnerable.
Softly, he crossed the room to brush Aidan's golden hair from his face, kiss his brow. "I'm very good at keeping things to myself, if that's what you need for now. But, trust me, no one here is going to care. As you know, we're rather unconventional in these areas."
Slowly, Aidan raised his eyes and, ever so slowly, smiled. "Yeah, I know. Save me something at breakfast?"
Kevin nodded, smiling quietly. "I'll see if I can manage a little better than tofu, shall I?"
Aidan returned the smile as best he could, then pulled his shirt on. "Thanks."
"Any time, sir," Kevin replied easily, straightening the lapels of his jacket. He saw the expression Aidan was making and realized what he'd said, giving a quick smile of apology. "I'll work on that."
"Good. Makes me feel like I should be reported for coercing a subordinate," Aidan muttered with a wince, ruffling his own hair.
Kevin gave him a sidelong smirk. "Oh, don't worry. No one coerces me into anything. Ever."
Aidan chuckled weakly in return. "Your record definitely backs that up. But it's still weird when you call me 'sir.' Especially now."
Kevin lowered his eyes slightly, an admission. "Like I said, it's a habit I'll work on." Glancing up, he reached up to gently smooth Aidan's hair. "Think you can be patient with me… Aidan?"
Aidan smiled and, after a moment of hesitation, kissed him gently. "You put up with my oddities," he muttered.
"Reciprocity. Sounds good," Kevin murmured with a smile. He stole a last kiss, then opened his door and carefully glanced out.
"Clear."
"Save some of that for the commander," he remarked easily as people idly grabbed toast from the platter in the middle of the table he'd sat down at. "He didn't sign off the work roster until 3am last night. I imagine he'll be coming in late."
Of course, it was Kevin who'd put in that change to the record, but he had hidden that already. He had the chops to code that at least.
"Damian? After breakfast I've got a few things we should run over, if you've got the time. Won't take long," he added, snagging one of the pre-packaged fruit servings he'd grabbed on a lucky run a month ago. Packaged fruit wasn't a patch on fresh, but it was miles better than micronutrient powder on tofu.
Damian's ocular implants whirred quietly as he quirked an eyebrow. "Finally going to let me fix your sight issue?"
Kevin rolled his eyes. "How many times?" he groaned theatrically.
"As many as it takes," the doctor replied easily, though he kept his mechanical gaze on Kevin for a long moment.
Kevin gave him a dry look. "You know the very idea gives me nightmares. After all, I could end up looking like you," he threw out. When he was a teenager those words had been said in anger, but time and repetition had turned them into one more in-joke.
"You, look like him? Mr. Pasty?" Sarah interjected, grinning from ear to ear. Kevin flipped her off, and she held up two fingers in a V and licked the space between.
The corner of Damian's lips twitched just a little and he turned away to ensure his siblings ate their breakfasts.
Glancing casually up, Kevin watched Aidan wander into the room. The pit of his belly warmed, but he had always been good at schooling his expression. He pulled a book up on his tab and read as he ate.
"Morning," he remarked courteously when Aidan sat, but he didn't look up. His smile easily could have been for the subject matter on the page.
Half an hour later, he joined Damian in his walk down the hall with the twins.
"You two do your reading for next Monday yet?" he asked teasingly, knowing for a fact that the kids wouldn't touch the tutoring material he and their brother had been assigning them until the morning before he quizzed them.
"Algebra sucks!" Dilly retorted, then paused. "History's kinda cool. But algebra still sucks."
"We're too easy on these kids," Damian remarked, deadpan.
"Don't I know it. I was doing advanced statistical generation models at your age. All I give you two is algebra," Kevin agreed gravely. "And my education was only CSS," he lied easily. "I've heard the CES curriculums are even more intense."
"Yeah, but CES kids don't even think like humans!" Dilly piped with relish, "I read they're so modified, they just suck up information and repeat it, they're like computers on legs."
"Yeah, they don't learn, they get programmed," Donny chimed in.
Damian smirked. "Go on, guys. You have studies to get to, and we've got work."
"But we're helping Janice today," Donny whined. His elder brother looked at him and he pulled a face, but he grabbed his sister's hand and pulled her away.
"Now," Damian said once he and Kevin were ensconced in his little office off the med bay. "What can I do for you?"
"You've always got the best contacts for medically related information. I've got something I'd like professional-grade accurate material on. Confidentially." Kevin held his eyes steadily, though he did swallow hard. "People transitioning from female to male. Any information on the issues related to the condition would be appreciated."
Damian's eyebrows rose, pulling the skin around his eyes and making his ocular implants whir as they adjusted. "That's a lot of information you're asking about. Anything in particular you're looking for?"
Kevin did his level best to keep his expression utterly urbane. "Anything related to body issues and, ah…" He paused, took a deep breath.
<
br /> This was Damian, he told himself. Damian was the one who'd disabled the key codes on the repair nanoids that resided in his bones and joints. Damian knew exactly how many improvements were in Kevin's genome and what that meant about his antecedents. The man had kept all that quiet for years. He could be trusted.
"To be blunt, how someone with a body like that should be… treated." The words forced themselves out of Kevin's throat with difficulty. "And anything that someone close to them should do to… help."
Damian's lips twitched again. "I see. I've got some papers about the effects of testosterone on an estrogen-dominant body to start with. And a few on understanding what's called body dysphoria. The more sexual issues will be personal, but I'll see if there's anything out there."
Kevin gave a sharp jerk of a nod.
"Thanks. I appreciate it." Then he forced himself to relax a little, to be a little more human. "Really. I hate trawling the Greynet for things in your area of study. Three-quarters of it's garbage, and I end up feeling like an ignoramus."
Damian snorted and leaned back in his chair, knitting his fingers together. "Most of this won't even be on the Greynet. And, if I were making suggestions? Don't let him know you're researching. I had a hell of a time getting him to confide in me, and I don't want him slipping backwards."
Kevin glanced down at his hands. "Well, thanks. I just… I…" Glancing up, he smiled hopefully. "You know me. I like to be read up before I deal with anything important. Um, is there anything I should do to make him… Or shouldn't… I-I'll shut up now, shall I?"
Damian's implants whirred again. "I think that's a conversation you should have with him. The only thing I can warn you about is that, if he goes off the hormones, there is a possibility of pregnancy. Which I'm sure neither of you would enjoy."
Kevin's eyes widened. "Um, thanks for the heads up," he managed, wishing he didn't sound quite so thrown.
Damian almost laughed outright. He covered it by clearing his throat. "The odds of that are incredibly slim. He'd need to be off Testosterone for at least three months before he starts ovulating again. And I'd be shocked if he ever let himself go that long."
Kevin nodded slowly. "I'll make sure he doesn't have to," he replied, the words heavy on his tongue. They tasted like a vow. "Thanks." He stood, but his feet didn't want to move.
"Damian? In all confidentiality, am I- Is this a bad idea?"
Damian's eyebrows lifted. "You want an answer to that from a doctor, a psychologist, or a friend?"
"Right. Right. Sorry I asked." Kevin turned away sharply, heading for the door.
"Kevin," Damian sighed just before his base mate reached the door, "Is it making you both happy? Is it putting either of you in danger? Those are really the only questions that need answering right now. In my professional opinion."
Kevin froze in the doorway. Happy. Was he happy?
His mind flashed over the last months, the last night. This giddy morning.
Happy.
He glanced over his shoulder, giving Damian a smile.
"I think I can work out those answers. Er, thanks."
Damian nodded curtly, the barest hint of a smile on his lips. "Try not to screw yourself up too much. I don't prescribe StayWakes for late nights getting banged. Ask Sarah."
Kevin's sardonic smirk pulled his lips into familiar lines. "Now, Damian, since when was I the one who needed that treatment? I have much better uses for StayWake."
Damian made a small, disbelieving noise in the back of his throat and waved Kevin off.
Grinning, Kevin gave a half-salute and slipped out.
Event File 31
File Tag: Improvements
Timestamp:15:50-7-10-2155
"You guys eat this shit? Serious?"
Aidan thought about yelling at Tweak, but he didn't want to waste the energy. After a month with her on the base, he knew what would happen. She'd stare at him and then repeat her two favorite words: "Fuck off."
No, yelling at somebody like Tweak was pointless and he knew it. Naomi was just like her.
Had been just like her, he reminded himself. He'd been out of her life long enough that he couldn't be sure anymore. But, when they'd been kids, Naomi had just shut down if their dad or one of the officers yelled at her, pulling on anger like armor. Tweak was just as bad.
"I kind of hate it, too. It tastes better if you don't wait for it to get cold," he remarked quietly. "But try and eat it anyway. It's what we've got right now."
The little techie glanced down at her plate, shrugged and shoved it away, picking up her tools again.
"Fix that too. If this work. Wanna show you. This."
Turning to the splayed carcass of the ViperDrone, she started to slide a power pad under it. Fear spiked through the pit of Aidan's gut.
"Tweak, uh-"
"Chill, chickenshit. I took its brains and trackers out. Dumped in Dust. Out truck window. This only got routines left."
To Aidan's relief, the machine didn't rise on its rotors and become a killer as he'd half expected. A couple lights blinked, but that was it.
"You guys kept trying for hacks on Eaglecorp to t-t-take d-drones d-d-d-d…" Tweak's face scrunched up, and she swallowed hard twice. "Down. Stupid. It's n-not happening. But watch this."
Pulling an object that looked like the guts of something else stuffed into a flashlight barrel, she flicked the switch.
Aidan watched a red light flash into existance. One drone rotor started to spin. One articulated member lifted on the gutted drone. Then the ones in the back did the same thing, and the next set, until the drone had started and stopped each of its six rotors.
He blinked.
"Tweak. How-?"
"It looks for IR signals. Right?" Tweak shot Aidan a grin that was half feral cat and half happy kid.
"I gave it a signal. Only, when it tries to p-process it, it's code. I encode ins-s-s-s- Tell it what to do. With IR. Laser IR. Don't touch me," she added, taking a quick sidestep away from Aidan. He glanced away from the amazing thing he was seeing to the girl who'd thought it up.
"This is kickass, Tweak. Really. I mean it." He hesitated, but he really needed to say it.
"But if you're going to work around here, there's a lot of narrow spaces. Nobody's going to try to touch you without your permission, but in places like the hall we really can't help brushing shoulders and stuff. You know medwork is free for you when you're working with us? Maybe you can talk to Damian about getting some psych help for the touch thing."
Tweak shot him another one of her venomous glares.
"Not. Crazy. Not. Head. Fucked. Not. Scared. You think I'm a chickenshit? Boo hoo, guy hurt me, now so scared? I'm. Not. Just don't like touch."
That had been more of a tirade than Aidan had ever expected to get out of Tweak. Had that been what happened to her?
"I don't think you're chickenshit," he murmured. She looked him up and down, snorted, then turned her eyes back to her experiment.
"Not scared of you an-n-nyway. I could f-fuck you up easy. No sweat."
You're a little too late to fuck me up, Tweak, he thought wryly. But it brought up another point he'd better get taken care of.
"Tweak, can you do me a favor?"
"Yeah?" Tweak asked, preoccupied.
"I know we agreed you're a contractor with us, not a Force member, but can you not talk to me like that if my boss or people from other bases are around? If they see you dissing me, they could decide I'm not a big enough asshole to be in command, and then they'll make you work for a real dickhead. If you can watch it, I can make sure that doesn't happen. Deal?"
Tweak glanced up at him, and this time the look was calculating. Putting her new toy down, she crossed her bandaged arms, staring at him. Didn't she ever blink?
"Why d'you act like this?" she snapped out.
Aidan froze. "Like what?"
"Chill," Tweak supplied shortly, "You're C-c-commander. You do whatever. Why d'you put up with shit I dish on you?"
Aidan relaxed. That was a hell of a lot better than the questions she could have been asking. He shrugged.
"Because I've seen a lot worse. It isn't going to kill me. Maybe I can ask you why you're dishing so much shit."
Tweak looked away. She moved around the table like a bird looking for crumbs.
And back to not talking. Great.
"Can you implement this on a wider range?" Aidan asked, hoping to get her to relax again a little.
"With the right stuff," Tweak agreed quietly. "Still need to get the c-c-code r-r-right. Got some ideas. But, yeah. Get something. Probably em-m-m-m-" She paused a beat. "Emitters for people to c-carry, big ones for b-bases. We see. Gonna need stuff."
Aidan nodded. "Talk to Kevin about anything you need, either he'll get it or he'll talk to the Sector Quartermaster and work something out."
Tweak gave another one of her snorts. "That guy. Sucks balls."
Aidan choked down a laugh. Tweak didn't know how right she was. If he had balls, Kevin might have done that for him that morning two weeks ago.
What would that be like?
Focus.
"He doesn't handle taking shit like I do, is all. No offense, Tweak, but if you were nicer to him he would probably return the favor. That goes for a lot of people around here." Aidan smiled crookedly in the face of Tweak's sullen glare. "The guys take really badly to anybody who tries to get in their faces, is all. They got rid of two commanders before me because of it. But, if you try working with them, they're actually kind of awesome."
Tweak cocked her head. "You're an asshat."
"A lot of the time, yeah. Probably," Aidan agreed with another shrug. "But I'm still trying."
Tweak shifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Whatevs. I get the stuff, wanna test this. That okay?"
"What kind of test?" Aidan asked carefully.
Tweak tapped a tab in the middle of the jumble, and a map was projected. "Bunch of delivery drones. Go through here. Wanna try… here." She pointed, and a red dot appeared on the map. "Wanna tell them, you've gone blind, go home, get repairs. See if it works."