by O E Tearmann
"Kev? Let's go somewhere and talk for a minute."
Kevin didn't look at him. Aidan could barely see him breathing. The look on his face was so empty.
Carefully, he touched Kevin's shoulder. He felt like stone.
"Kevin? Come with me okay? Please."
Kevin rose without a word. Aidan led him into the empty canteen. Kevin sat like a remote controlled toy, eyes fixed on his hands.
For a moment panic rose in Aidan's gut. How the hell was he going to get through whatever was going on here?
A Cavanaugh Corporation CEO's son. A CES level kid. It clicked so many little things into place. Kevin's looks. The way he talked. The things he let slip about his family vacations.
Kevin was from the top of the ladder. Aidan had heard CEOs started training at two years old. They were adjusted in vitro to fit their Corporation's needs. A CES level kid practically was the Corporation in miniature.
Kevin was a CEO's kid.
And Kevin was sitting right here, frozen.
Slowly, Aidan sat. He licked his lips.
"You want to tell me what the hell that was about?"
Event File 40
File Tag: Privileged Information
Timestamp:10-19-2155/ 10-20-2155
Kevin glanced up, opened his mouth and closed it. He glanced back at his twining hands. Then he forced his head up again, the effort it took written in his eyes.
"Please. I'm-I'm not- Please, let me explain. Please, just listen."
Aidan wanted to reach out and hug him. He wanted to turn and run. "I am listening," he stated quietly. "But you have to tell me what's going on."
Kevin nodded slowly. Closing his eyes, he took a few long, slow breaths.
"Look, I told you that Cavanaugh killed my parents. That was true. That's why I'm here. But…" He trailed off. His eyes reminded Aidan of a cat he'd seen once in an animal control cage.
Kevin's shoulders shrugged helplessly.
It was the helplessness that did it. Aidan reached over to wrap his fingers around Kevin's and squeeze.
"You know my secret," he murmured. "Don't you think it's fair that I know yours?"
Kevin bit his lip and turned his face away, staring at the table top as he spoke. "My dad- My parents- Look, he was…was… You told me you changed your name."
"Yeah?" Aidan prompted softly. Kevin squeezed his eyes closed.
Silence came down over them like blown dust, hot and cloying. When Kevin spoke, his voice was choked. "McIllian was my mother's maiden name."
Aidan could feel Kevin's hand shaking beneath his as he sucked in a long breath.
"Craydon. Kevin Craydon. My name on the Grid? It used to be Kevin Craydon."
Aidan jerked, his hand slipping out of Kevin's.
"Craydon? You-your family used to… You owned the Cavanaugh Corporation?"
Kevin shook his head slowly. Pulling his hand away, he wrapped his arms around himself.
"No. No, you don't understand. It's more like they owned us. It's- I'm not…" He shook his head, his red hair flopping across his glasses.
Aidan swallowed hard. "Okay. Make me understand. Whatever you need to tell me, tell me. I need to get this."
Kevin stole a glance at him, jerked his eyes away. Seeing him like that was like a knife in the gut.
"When you're up that high," Kevin began in a whisper. "When you're the face of the Corporation and every single thing about you reflects on them. You'll never understand how closely we're scrutinized. How intensively we're groomed. Our training starts when we're two years old and it never stops. It never, ever stops."
He shook his head, his voice a distant monotone. "What people don't understand is the system's rotten all the way up. At the top not only do they tell CES kids that we're a different species, but they lock us into a different world. All we have time to think about at the CES level is the responsibilities on us, the duties to the Corporation and the threats from one another. Care about the other Citizen Standings? We're barely allowed to see that they exist. I know how it sounds to somebody who grew up like you did, but… When you're in a school VR with other CES kids, when you're in a boardroom with older CES people, you know that every one of them has a knife behind their back, and they'll cheerfully slit your throat if it'll benefit them or they think it'll benefit Cavanaugh. The Corporation needs the best and most successful leaders at the helm. The unsuccessful… They don't get Childbearing Permits. They have breakdowns. They kill themselves. Or they're discarded. Sometimes physically."
He gave a parody of a laugh. "We're all bred for success. And the CEO position may be hereditary, but dynasties fall. My great-grandfather took the position when the last family who owned it had an… accident. But my dad…"
He swallowed, his long fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket. His knuckles were white. "Do you know the story of Siddhartha?"
"No," Aidan murmured, watching the man across the table wrestle something inside him.
Kevin nodded, still staring at the table. "Siddhartha was a prince thousands of years ago in India. It's part of one of their religions. He lived in a palace that was perfect, because his father wanted him to see nothing but beauty. But, he got loose one day, and wandered all over the city, and he saw people begging and sickness and suffering. And he decided to change the world."
He swallowed. "My dad insisted on traveling before he took his full responsibilities. A year abroad. England. He bribed his minders overseas so he could see life. And he saw it. He saw-he saw us through other people's eyes. He went reading on their unrestricted net. He stayed up all night talking in coffee shops. He met Mom. When he came back… He knew the world was bigger than the cage he grew up in. He knew how bad things were."
His voice was starting to grow unsteady as he spoke. "He wanted us to be… I suppose you haven't heard of Rockefeller."
Aidan shook his head. What the hell was Kevin trying to tell him?
"Rockefeller was a man who did terrible things to make his fortune in the beginning of American history." Kevin explained softly. "Later, he repented. Or maybe he just felt guilty. I don't know. But he tried to spread his wealth in the best possible ways, help all the people he could. Dad wanted Cavanaugh to be like that. Our ancestors did terrible things. He wanted us to make up for it. He had the greatest ideas, but he had to deal with the board. The Chairman of the Board and the members of the Board, they all watch each other. Each of them is accountable to the rest. They can take down any one member. Even the Chairman. And they wanted change like a hole in the head. So…"
He drew a shaky breath. "He fought them. Every day. Him and Mom. Cavanaugh let her in on a genetic improvement visa, and they had me. Brain chemistry optimizing's compulsory on the genomes of CES kids in Cavanaugh, along with all the other things they perfect. I don't know if you knew. Mom and Dad, they faked the paperwork and bribed the lab. I didn't get that part of the treatment. It's harder for me to ignore things and assume everything's okay than it is for most CES people. I had trouble processing high-speed VR education. I did better with low-speed and with text based. I don't accept information straight off, I ask questions. And it's harder for me to see other people unhappy."
He drew a shuddering breath. "Mom and Dad had to teach me how to act just like the other kids, but, at home, they taught me everything I didn't learn in school. Mom kept her dual citizenship and I got English history and social studies curriculum apps and vids at home. They got me textbooks to read instead of VR. I learned all about American history via England. Isn't that a laugh."
Aidan wished Kevin would at least look at him. Instead he paced as he talked, arms tight around himself.
"Mom and Dad funded a lot of amnesty work. They did as much as they could publicly. They worked to open up a conversation about the Perfection Mandate and the Morality Law, trying to get those loosened up. They worked on getting rid of the Blackli
st that's kept on gammas. But they did plenty under the table. Dad started teaching me about discreet contacts when I was twelve. They funded the work of the Daily Bread Movement, you know, to give workers fair wages? They got money and supplies to the Grapevine to support them and try to help them help the agricultural workers. The people you see in the clinics who come in from American Ag… It's a nightmare. Worse than EagleCorp. The things they do to people…"
He shook his head, pacing the length of the table twice before he managed to speak again. "Mom did most of that. The hidden work. She hid it with her gardening hobby. Our contacts were her friends. A plant geneticist and a botanist. She pretended to be a sweet little philanthropic Corporation wife who gardened and did clinic visits. She took me with her for the look of it. It was a good act.
Dad did a lot of the public work. He was good at dealing with the assholes from the other Corporations, and our own." Kevin shook his head, smiling to himself. "He used to talk about the nineteen eighties and nineties all the time. The Golden Age of America. When he said it, it didn't mean go back to the good old days and get rid of foreigners and freaks. It meant what we fight for."
In the half-light, he looked like a statue carved from brittle white stone.
"He got in plenty of rows-sorry, in fights-with the board, but he had allies, and we had our position, so he got through. But, then this thing came up when I was fifteen, part of a new kidney bionic setup. Dad found out that it was killing people, but worse, the board knew. They'd been trying to hide it from him. And they knew it was cheaper to pay for benefits to families than fix the problem, so they were leaving it in. People were dying.
"So Dad started digging and making noise and really throwing his weight as CEO around. He found other devices with the same sort of problems. He told the board he'd take them all down if he had to and replace them. And then my mom was-" Kevin swallowed hard. "She was beaten to death. Dumped under a bridge. Random mugging, the Peace Officers said." He snorted, kicking the leg of the table.
"Bullshit. They did it break Dad. But he just fought harder. And then he…" Kevin was still for so long that Aidan's gut clenched. Then he shrugged, his head bowed.
"They killed him. Made it look natural. Heart attack. And they made sure I wouldn't inherit his seat."
He finally looked up at Aidan, and his eyes were luminous with tears. "One of the last things Dad told me was that we needed to do something in this world. So when he- When I read the letter he left me, I decided he was right. He had this plan all set up to get me out of the country, make it look like I'd overdosed in an alley and get me to England, but I couldn't. I couldn't run away and leave those sons of bitches to keep on. I made a fuss until the Duster who was my courier agreed to take me off-Grid with him if I'd shut up, and…" He shrugged again, a helpless gesture.
Aidan watched his boyfriend for a long moment, his mind numb.
What could he say after that? What could he do?
Kevin's family had owned one of the Corporations that destroyed people every day.
The enemy.
But people born on enemy territory weren't born enemies, were they? Were they the enemy if they fought the way Kevin's family had, behind enemy lines?
Were they the enemy when they opened their arms and their hearts the way Kevin had?
Were they the enemy when they stood there utterly vulnerable, eyes wide, tears streaking their cheeks?
Aidan's gut churned as if he'd swallowed a rattlesnake. His chest ached.
Kevin didn't move.
He had to do something.
Slowly, carefully, he stood and walked around the table. Kevin flinched back when he put a hand on his shoulder. Aidan's heart turned over.
"Kev?" he cleared his throat, tried again, "If my parents were like that, I'd be proud."
Gently, he brushed his lips over Kevin's brow. "Sounds like they were good people."
Kevin watched him with terrified eyes. "Yes, but I wasn't- You need to know I'm-I mean I don't… I'm not…" He covered his face with one hand, drew a breath.
"I was born Citizen Excellent Standing," he ground out, "but I swear to God and the blessed Virgin, I'm not like that. I hate the Corporations, because I've been inside, and I see what they do to people. Even their own. Either you die in body or you die in spirit. And I swear, I didn't mean to lie to you. I just…" He shook his head.
"Kev, look at me," Aidan gently pulled Kevin's hand down, brushing his lips over the other man's as the words he needed finally came to him. "I know that. I know you. At least I'm pretty sure I do. You're with us here for a reason. If you were really Corps, you'd still be there in some boardroom futzing your life away. But you're here. You're helping us with the work that matters. Until today, I haven't heard a bad word against your work. And the words I did hear today, I'm pretty inclined to ignore. Okay? Sure, you were born Corps. Sure you've got their crap version of 'perfect' written all over you. But you're right, you're not like that. You looked at me and saw me. You look at everybody and try to see them. Even when you have to work hard at it, you try. You're getting rid of all the shit they taught you, day by day, and I know that must be a hell of a lot of work. You worked to really be democratic, didn't you? To see people for who they are, not what they are? Maybe that makes you more Duster than some people born out here ever were. And maybe some Dusters are just Corps kids with no cash."
Kevin's lips twitched, some of the color returning to his high cheekbones. He leaned his shoulder against Aidan's, voice still hesitant. "I didn't mean to lie, but I thought that if everyone here found out that- or if you knew what I was that you'd-"
Then he glanced up, his smile rueful. "I can't believe I just said that to you. Or thought it." With a deprecating breath of laughter, he laid his head on Aidan's shoulder.
"Let's make our lives easier and agree to refrain from lying to each other, shall we?"
Aidan chuckled softly and kissed the top of Kevin's head. "Deal. You okay?"
Kevin shook his head. "No." He drew a shuddering breath. "But I will be."
"You want to go back in there?" Aidan asked, stroking his back in gentle circles.
Kevin shook his head. "I-I can't tonight. In the morning, but not tonight."
Aidan nodded. "Okay. Not tonight. Let's get you to your room."
In bed, Aidan wrapped himself around Kevin, holding him until he'd fallen asleep.
It was late the next morning before Kevin woke, stretched, and rolled to nestle beside Aidan, who was lying awake in bed. After a moment, Kevin opened his eyes, taking in his boyfriend.
"Thanks," he whispered.
"For what?" Aidan asked softly, turning to study Kevin's bone china face.
Kevin shrugged. "You know." He closed his eyes for a moment.
"Why do you have the same look on your face as someone contemplating a visit from the Bureau of Internal Affairs, exactly?" he asked sleepily, brushing sandy hair back from Aidan's brow with slow fingers.
"Because we have to deal with the shit Suzanna started last night," Aidan muttered, turning his eyes back to the ceiling.
Kevin gave an irritated grunt in the back of his throat, flopping onto Aidan's chest.
"You know, I really hate that bitch. But with the crew and the Corps thing…" He trailed off, body growing tense against Aidan's. Then he shrugged. "It won't interfere with my duties."
"It's not your duties I'm worried about," Aidan sighed. He wrapped one arm around Kevin and squeezed him gently. "Let's talk about it later. Come on. I'm starved."
The canteen fell silent as Kevin and Aidan entered, all eyes swiveling to study their commander and logistics officer. Alice set her knitting down. Yvonne turned off the vid she'd been showing.
Glances were shared around the table as Kevin fetched himself powdered milk and cereal. Even Lazarus had a deadpan expression.
Aidan watched him warily
as he took his seat. Any other day, that would be the expression Lazarus wore just before he pulled a prank, but today…
Kevin added water to his breakfast as Aidan watched the crew. No one was saying a word. That couldn't be good.
"So, now we get the truth," Lazarus intoned, sounding frighteningly like an EagleCorp officer.
Kevin glanced up at the other officer with that cat-in-a-cage expression Aidan had seen the night before, and Aidan felt every muscle in his body tense.
And that was when Lazarus burst out laughing. "God man, you should see the look on your face!"
Around the table, little titters and snorts of laughter unfurled like dandelions after rain.
Kevin gave the table a comprehensive stare of pure shock. "What-?"
"Aw, c'mon. You didn't actually fall for that?" Topher called from his end of the table. "We were just kidding."
"Kidding?" Kevin asked, glancing from one laughing face to another. "Wait. Are you guys…? Wait. Did you guys know?"
Aidan blinked at his crew. He probably looked like a confused owl, but he didn't have the brain power to care. Of all the reactions to what had happened last night, he hadn't expected laughter.
"About what? You and Aidan? Kevin, sweetie, we've been waiting sooooo long for our little baby to figure out what your man parts were for, we were thrilled when you got to it," Blake replied in an overly sugary tone.
Kevin sighed, raising his eyes to the ceiling. "Bite me, Blake."
"Oh honey, I've wanted to for years but that's robbing the cradle."
"God damn it. You know what I-" Kevin snapped out, but Liza laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to quash her laughter.
"Okay, guys, let up. Get real."
"But it's too precious!" Blake enthused. "Before I retired to Financial, I was logistics officer since-"
"The dawn of time." Damian put in, which got him a haughty look from the pudgy old man, who otherwise ignored him to continue.
"And the same week the only Corporation family worth a damn gets killed off, this poor baby boy arrives with a bleeding hole in his wrist right where a Wellness Chip should be. A poor little boy who can't seem to remember his own last name, and he actually thought that he could hand me-me!-over four million dollars the day he arrives, and I wouldn't know exactly who has that kind of money to throw around?"