Bret had an agenda. The same smirk that spread over my face minutes ago was now mirrored on his. Checkmate. “Since there’s only a couple weeks before we give the lawyers an answer, I want to make good on my promise. And I want you to be able to fulfill your fantasy.”
I knew it.
“How?” I dragged the word out.
“Tuesday is amateur night at All Eyes Gentlemen’s Club.” Bret nodded as I gaped at him. Yup, trouble. “My buddy owns it. I’m not throwing you to the wolves. Of course I’ll be there. No one’s going to fuck with you. I’ve never mentioned you to him, you can give a fake name, and he’ll never know who you are.” That stung, when it shouldn’t have. “You can be whoever you want to be. You’ve got the I’m-studying-to-be-a-doctor story going for you. Strip, dance a little, let everyone in the room drool over those amazing tits, and make some money. You get to live out your fantasy of having everyone watch you.”
My body went haywire at the possibilities. “What do you get out of this?”
“The satisfaction of fucking the girl everyone wants and no one can have.” Bret shrugged, like it was that simple. “Strippers give the best head.”
Classy. “And if I say no?”
“You lose.” He smirked. “I hit your limit. We tell the lawyers our decision, and I get the money.” Bret stood, water rushing along every cut line of his body, and then walked up the stairs. “But like I said, it is more money than I know what to do with. I’ll make sure I take care of you, Gem.”
I glared as he went back to his chair, and he met my stare when he sat down. Fuck. He had me right where he wanted me. All the times we were together, and I asked if it was okay if I said no or used my safe word, he said it was, and that I’d know when I hit my limit. He’d just rang it like a bell. How was it that the thing that turned me on so much scared me the most?
So even if I did it—and I couldn’t believe I was considering this—it was crazy. Bret might think I looked good naked, but I was nowhere close to having a stripper body. Those girls were perfect. I was… too big to be wearing a bikini in public. I’d make an absolute fool out of myself. I didn’t know how to dance. Don’t get me wrong, I liked dancing, but I looked more like a sitcom gag than a professional. I hated even talking to large groups. Maybe that was why it was my fantasy. It embodied overcoming every hang-up I had about myself.
“Oh, good. You’re both out here,” Mom called over the deck. She was obscured by the flowers Bret had planted in hanging boxes. He kept the yard perfect all summer. “I picked up some steamers. Want to help me start the clambake?” she asked.
“Sure.” I chuckled, getting out of the pool. If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry. And if it wasn’t for Mom trying everything to keep her family together, God only knew what would be happening this summer. It would be even crazier or nothing. I wasn’t sure which one appealed to me more.
“Think about it,” Bret said quietly, bumping against me as we went up the stairs. “I’m not asking you to do anything I haven’t done. I’d stand naked in the middle of Times Square if I could. And fuck with everyone watching. You should try it, Gemma. It’s the most liberating thing you can do.”
I didn’t have a chance to answer him before we were within Mom’s earshot. That had to be his intention. He’d been playing me like one of his guitar solos all summer long. Thrilled to death we were playing nice, Mom went back in the kitchen.
I stopped in front of Bret. “I’ll think about it”—what the hell was I saying?—“but we should go out with Nikki and Matt some night this week, first. We need to practice behaving in public.”
“Deal.” He held out his hand to shake it out. I rolled my eyes before I took it, and he pulled me into him. “But we’re going fucking crazy in Jersey.”
**
A quarter of a million dollars’ worth of debt guaranteed one thing—I’d whore myself out to someone to keep my head above water. At least I could stay sort of safe with Bret. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. Even if I lost, a possibility that loomed larger than ever, I might be able to live with his terms to get me out of debt. I’d have to suck his dick for the rest of my life. So what? Worse things happened to better people.
“I’m so glad you came out with us.” Nikki squealed, as the guys went up the bar to get us beer. We’d let the pandemonium of Bret Starling showing up clear. After the initial wave of selfies and fist bumps, people usually acted normal around him.
“This place is awesome. Everyone’s older, as you can tell, but Matt really likes the band. They’re pretty good, and no, they don’t play covers.” She rolled her eyes. “I know how seriously the guys take that stuff. I don’t care, as long as I can dance. You’re going to dance with me, right?”
“Of course.” I needed all the practice I could get before I made my big stage debut next week in Jersey. I probably should’ve declined the beer, since I was going to be mostly naked in a room full of strangers in a week. That wasn’t the only reason I should’ve said no. Booze in general made me frisky, and I was supposed to prove I could behave myself. I had to be on my A-game. “It’s been a while. I’m rusty.”
“That’s what beer is for,” Nikki said. Bret and Matt returned, distributing drinks accordingly. Bret pressed his hand on my back to get by me to his stool. I stopped breathing until he let go, as if it would make me invisible. We knew people here. We couldn’t fuck around. The town was too small, and mouths were too big. Besides, everyone in the room stared at Bret. They kept their distance, but they watched his every move.
“How’s the entertainment center search going?” Bret asked Matt.
“We’ve found a place in Central Falls that we can lease cheap. It’s part of an old mill, but there’s a huge lot we could turn part of into the mini-golf course. And the way it’s zoned, the bowling alley could have a bar and a stage, so we could hire bands to play.” Matt practically glowed as he talked about his dream.
“How are you paying for this?” I asked. “It sounds expensive.”
Some of the shine faded from his expression. Man, I knew how to party.
“Crowd funding for some of it. We’ll play some shows to raise funds, too. A couple friends with money,” he said.
“I might be able to help you out,” Bret said. “We’ll talk as it gets closer.”
“I think it’s going to be really cool.” I took a long sip of my beer, letting the fizz settle into my bloodstream. Maybe it would go straight to my head.
“I’ll definitely help you out.” Nikki giggled. She wasn’t talking about the entertainment center, and she did something under the table that made Matt jump. He grinned at her, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her.
I couldn’t take my eyes off them. Something I hadn’t felt since the last time I lived in Newport, a long time ago, burned deep in the pit of my belly. Jealousy. As Bret had so generously pointed out, I’d never had mind-blowing sex before him, but I had a lot of the regular kind. I wasn’t a shy lover, and PDAs were usually par for the course. Not being able to touch Bret in public was excruciating. The sneaking around, the lies, the fucking drama… I didn’t realize how little they left me with.
How much I needed more.
Bret’s expression turned to stone. He looked right through Nikki and Matt. They weren’t tongue tied anymore, but they were barely an inch apart, radiating lust and all the good things that the beginning of a relationship promised. I smiled weakly at Bret, and he squeezed my hand under the table. He felt it, too.
“Let’s go dance.” Nikki grabbed my arm that rested on the table. I was shell-shocked. Bret still held my hand under the table. Until she broke the spell, I’d been aware we were attached, but it felt so right I didn’t want to break away. “We can leave the boys alone to talk about their music.”
“Yeah, tell me how the new songs are going. I can’t wait to hear what you come up with.” Matt tipped his beer in Bret’s direction as Nikki ripped me away from him.
“Matt’s amazing, don’t get me wrong,
but all he talks about are his music and the business he doesn’t have yet.” Nikki groaned after she led me to the middle of the crowd.
There was plenty of room on the dance floor, and we were the youngest out here by about ten years. Not that it mattered; everyone was here for the same reason. I loved this kind of people watching.
“It’s his passion.” I pushed her arm playfully, as we fell into the beat of the song. “You don’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t want anything. The next thing you know, he’d move into your apartment and make the place smell like beer farts. Beer you paid for.”
“I know.” She laughed, taking another sip. “My passion is animals, and I manage to talk about other things.”
“All you talk about is men!”
“So?” She swayed to the beat, twisting in time to the music. “I guess you could say they’re another passion of mine.”
“It’s a good hobby to have.” Dancing felt good. I’d been holed up all summer, practically on house arrest. Bret offered to pay my way tonight. He said he’d start a tab for me, reminding me how he’d like the debt taken care of. Whatever. I’d pay him back in fucking pennies once I got my inheritance.
Nikki leaned in, her forehead against mine. “I know you say there’s nothing going on there, but if I were you, I’d totally fuck the shit out of Bret.” I gasped and pulled away, but she went on. “You guys aren’t related by blood. So it would be weird, but—”
“Nikki. Stop it.” The room spun around me. I was going to throw up.
“He’s pure sex. I don’t know if you’ve ever watched him play live, but the way he moves on stage? Girl. And I know for a fact he can fuck. Those videos leave nothing to the imagination.”
I almost said I know, but instead I pressed my mouth shut in a hard, angry line.
“And he hasn’t stopped staring at you since we came out on the dance floor,” she added.
Don’t look, Gemma, just take her word for it, I repeated in my head, as I fought the gravitational pull of Bret’s gaze. As with all of our other battles, I lost miserably. It wasn’t a surprise he stared; I’d been moving my hips and grinding against Nikki in a way he had to pay attention to. But when I saw the look on his face, the raw fucking need that only came when two people shared things not meant for the rest of the world to see, I knew we’d gone too far. We should’ve never come out tonight.
I dropped my beer bottle and pushed through the crowd until I got to the door.
People came after me. A bouncer, ready to do what I was already taking care of myself. Nikki, trying to push past him and insisting I wasn’t loaded and I’d just dropped the bottle. And in the background, Bret moved in slow motion, his hand on Nikki’s shoulder, calming her down, and then using his charms in a similar way on the bouncer. I looked at my reflection of the storefront window of the bar, like it was someone else’s life I watched on TV. One of those cheesy cable movies, where the heroine fell for her stepbrother.
No.
I’d go to Jersey, get naked, and collect my five million. I just couldn’t think about what I was doing. Or let it mean anything.
Bret’s motion sped up, and I broke into a run along the brick sidewalk. “Gemma,” he called after me. I ducked down the side street. Stupid, since I had nowhere to go. He drove me here, he was paying my way, and he was catching up to me. “Gem. What’s wrong?”
“Everything.” I slumped against the wall. “Nikki’s telling me I should fuck your brains out—”
Bret put one arm on either side of me but didn’t touch me. “Shh.” He moved in closer. The heat from his body could melt the skin away from my bones. “Nikki’s drunk.”
At least he didn’t tell me to calm down. That was the worst. It would’ve sent me into a sheer bat-shit crazy rage. “Let me finish. She saw the way you were looking at me, Bret. Everyone in the bar could see it. They know there’s something going on with us.”
He shook his head. “Everyone in the bar was watching you dance. The way you move your hips, Gemma…” He moaned, his hips pressing me to the brick wall, his erection obvious against my belly. “There’s only one thing any man could think about when you’re on the dance floor.” His hair grazed my cheek. He closed his eyes and licked his lips.
I pushed against his chest. He didn’t move. “Don’t you dare,” I said.
He stumbled back but caught himself, caging me right back in. “Don’t I dare do what?”
“You were going to kiss me.”
“Like hell I was.” Bret scoffed. “I was thinking how fucking hot you’re going to be on stage, naked and swinging around a pole.”
I slapped him across the face. It startled him enough to give me a chance to duck under his arm and make a run for the parking lot. My choices sucked. He was going to catch me in seconds. Sneakers beat heels every time. He gripped my arm, but I didn’t fight him as we marched to the SUV. Prisoner and warden. We’d drawn enough attention to ourselves already.
“Get in the backseat,” he growled, as he unlocked the doors.
“Why?” My body throbbed with anger and need, as I leaned against the door he wanted me to open. I wanted to scream at him that he wasn’t listening to me, but I didn’t really care, because this was so fucking hot.
His face was close to mine again, but this time there was no mistaking what he wanted. “Because I’m going to fuck you, and then I’m going to sweet talk your sorry ass back into the club. I was having a good time. I’m not ready to go home yet.”
“Neither am I.” I refused to look away, because I really needed his cock inside me right now. If it wouldn’t mean the end of the world as I knew it, I would say, to hell with getting in the car, and let him take me in the parking lot.
“Then you can tell Nikki what it’s like to fuck me, because there’s going to be no mistaking what we’ve done.” Bret pulled me away from the car, like I weighed nothing, and opened the door. “Get in.”
Chapter Sixteen
Traffic in Connecticut was always ridiculous, and Bret had some speed metal on blast. Every time the singer screamed, I side-eyed Bret, and he joined in. I couldn’t wait until it was my turn to pick the music.
“Are you sure these people won’t know who I really am?” I asked for the thousandth time, as we crawled south on the interstate. “Because we can’t have a repeat of the blues club.”
“Yes, Gem. I’m sure.” Bret launched right into a duet with the singer, if you could call him that. I turned down the stereo. He laughed, tongue still out. “It was just the story I told Ellen, that it was a mutual friend from high school. Nothing else made sense for us to get away together. And the other night’s all on you.”
“Bullshit.”
Bret had pushed me in half, my calves up against my shoulders, and slammed into me while I chided him, saying he could start fucking me any time. I was so glad we could never be a normal couple. It would take all the fun out of everything.
When Bret and I had walked back into the bar, much to Nikki and Matt’s astonishment, there was no way to cover up what we’d done, quick, hard, and dirty in the backseat of our dad’s SUV. That didn’t stop me from trying. I insisted to Nikki that we had a knockdown, drag-out argument. With our private parts, but she didn’t need to know that.
“I’m sticking to my story,” I told Bret. “I wanted to go home, you insisted on going all Alpha male on my ass, trying to teach me a lesson.”
“I should’ve fucked you up the ass. Maybe it would’ve shut you up for five minutes.” He chuckled. “Alpha male? You’ve been reading too many of those books. No one actually acts like that. That’s why you don’t have a boyfriend.”
I’d cause a major pile up outside of Stamford if I strangled him. Not worth it. But still tempting. “I don’t have a boyfriend because it’s hard to explain why I’ve got to fuck my stepbrother out of five million bucks.” I smiled as sweetly as I could when Bret rolled his eyes. “Once I have that money in the bank, it will free up some time to pursue other options. Or maybe I’
ll meet a nice guy on this trip.”
“At the strip club?” Bret asked.
I nodded.
“Yeah, that romance will be exactly what you’re looking for. A one-way ticket to doctor school.”
“It’s graduate school, dumbass.” We both laughed. Before I started fucking Bret, I never realized how much I liked our verbal sparring. Now it was our twisted version of foreplay. “And what do you know about romance novels?”
“That they’re complete bullshit.” Bret scoffed. I raised an eyebrow, and he knew exactly what I meant. “I was trying to date this girl. Not really my type—quiet, smart, and she loved to read. But she had the tightest little body. Great tits. Not as good as yours, but still amazing. She had these dark rimmed glasses. I loved those things. I don’t know why, but they turned me on. You should get a pair. Anyway, she read the dirtiest shit I’d ever seen. She’d highlight passages she wanted to try out, and have me read them. That part was hot. But the way the guys were portrayed? Come the fuck on. I’d punch those douchebags straight in the face if they were real.”
“It’s a fantasy.” Guys didn’t get it. If we made a movie out of the story and called it porn, they’d be too busy jerking off to care. Make them actually fill in the blanks on their own, and they got all bitchy about things. “Use your imagination. No one wants to read about their boring husband. That’s why the whole sex industry exists. To provide a service you can’t get in real life.”
“What are you looking for?” Bret’s tone changed, serious now. “You know, in a boyfriend?”
His question was completely sincere, and a total shock to the system. For all general purposes, he was my boyfriend right now, even though that could never be. I looked at the commuters in the other cars, as we crawled into New York State. I always thought people looked miserable when they drove. Wasn’t it supposed to be about the journey, and not the destination? Anyway.
Dirty Little Secret: New Adult Rock Star Romance (Not Exactly A Stepbrother Romance Book 1) Page 12