by M. J. Haag
I gasped and slapped my hands over my breasts.
“I’m so sorry!”
His gaze dipped to the V of my legs. I hurried to move a hand down there and used my forearm for the girls. Kerr’s gaze drifted up to my stomach. Lee had always hated my stretchmarks and wanted the lights off during sex. So, shame had me giving up the girls’ coverage to shield my stomach. I didn’t want Kerr to see the marks and think less of me. Halfway to my goal, I realized I didn’t have enough arms to cover everything.
I half-turned my back to him while I struggled to figure out what parts were most important to cover.
In a few large steps, Kerr crossed the room and grabbed my hands, stopping my dilemma. His thumbs stroked the backs of my hands as he held my gaze.
“Never be sorry. Seeing you just now was like seeing the surface for the first time. The wonder of it stole every thought and will never leave me.”
He pressed his forehead to mine and inhaled deeply.
“I know you can have no other man in your life now.”
He released one of my hands to cup my head, his fingers stroking my scalp.
“I am patient and will ignore this burning need I have for you until you are free. Then, you will be mine.”
He pulled back enough to press his lips to my forehead then turned and quietly left the room. I stared at the closed door in wide-eyed shock. Tingling need swept through me.
Then, you will be mine.
The phrase played on repeat in my head.
I should have been horrified that he’d seen me naked or that he hadn’t taken my no as a permanent no. Instead, a little part of me jumped up and down that he’d seen everything and still had a “burning need” for me. The shock left my face, and I grinned stupidly at the door.
I crossed the room and picked up the clothes he’d dropped. The underwear were a pretty pink. They wouldn’t have fit me weeks ago but snugly covered me now. And, the sports bra matched perfectly. I slipped the soft sweater over my head then tugged on the jeans before pulling them off and switching to the sweatpants. The material would be more comfortable for sleeping.
As soon as I finished dressing, I went downstairs.
Kerr was in the kitchen, heating something on the stove. The other fey were milling around the house.
My eyes devoured the wide expanse of Kerr’s snugly covered shoulders before dipping to his butt. I just couldn’t help myself. Or the grin that wanted to curve my lips.
One of the fey passing through the room paused to look at me. Busted, I averted my gaze and approached Kerr.
“What’s for dinner?” I asked, hating that I felt awkward now.
“Cheesy noodles. Do you like them?”
Kerr looked up from his stirring, his gaze sliding down my length then up again before meeting my eyes. His ears darkened again, and I felt myself blush, knowing where his thoughts had just gone.
“Honestly, I like most anything. Was there any meat in the freezer here?”
He shook his head.
“Can I help with anything?”
“No. Sit at the table and rest.”
He ran all day and was telling me to rest? I smiled as he turned back to the stove.
The sound of the TV drew my attention, and I saw one of the fey had started a movie. The title for a violent action movie flicked on the screen.
I quickly went into the living room to find something else. The fey who’d started the movie watched me closely. I recognized him from Emily and Hannah’s party. Tor. His skin was a bit lighter than most fey.
“I think Mya would prefer that you watch this one,” I said to him. “The one playing is very violent.”
I realized how ridiculous that sounded after the fey had spent the day ripping off people’s heads, but I’d promised Mya that I would keep things PG.
Tor’s gaze flicked to the case of the movie he’d picked then to mine.
“This one looks more interesting,” he said, holding up the case that showed a well-endowed actress almost spilling out of her top while holding a gun.
“I know it does. But Mya made me promise to keep things PG.”
“I like when Ryan is in charge.”
I chuckled. His response and the way he sulkily changed the movies reminded me of Lilly.
“I’ll be sure to mention that to Mya.”
His sullen expression quickly changed to one of panic.
“Please don’t.”
“Tor,” Kerr said.
I glanced his way in time to see him slowly shake his head.
Tor apologized to me.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said. “Mya just wants to protect the way you guys are now.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re all kind and loyal and protective. Traits that had been a little lacking in humans. Maybe she thinks the things we humans chose to expose ourselves to contributed to the slow decay of those traits.”
“I understand.”
Once he started the new movie, I went back to the kitchen where Kerr had two plates waiting on the table.
He and I ate together in silence, both casting not too subtle glances at each other. As soon as I took my last bite, he took our plates to the sink then held out his hand. This time, my stomach went hot and cold when I slid my fingers into his.
Neither of us spoke as he led the way upstairs. My trembling started anew as soon as we entered the bedroom, and he pulled back the covers. Holding them, he waited while I slid into bed. I had to look away from his intense gaze.
Instead of lying beside me like I know he had done the night before, he went to the door and sat in front of it. I rolled on my side so I could see him better.
“You’re not going to lie next to me tonight?” I asked.
“I think you feel safe like this.”
I couldn’t deny it because I did. Yet, I also wanted him to lie beside me again.
“What do you think we’re going to find tomorrow?” I asked softly.
He studied me before answering.
“We will find your husband and your son.”
I was quiet for a moment then said what had been eating away at me for a long time.
“What if they’re both dead? What if they’re both infected?”
“In many ways, the humans and the fey are different; but in many more, we are the same. We grieve the loss of our brothers when they fall. If your husband and son have fallen, I will grieve their loss with you.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat and blinked at the moisture in my eyes. A tear slowly rolled down my cheek, and I nodded in silent thanks before closing my eyes.
I’d just begun to drift off when a baying clamor startled me awake. It wasn’t just one hellhound out there but several. And they sounded far too close.
A door downstairs slammed.
I bolted upright and stared at Kerr. He stood and crossed the room. Slowly, he eased down on the bed beside me and opened his arms. I didn’t hesitate to take what he offered. With his arms secure around me, I listened to the steady, calm beat of his heart.
“Nothing can get you while you’re here.”
I wasn’t sure if he meant the house, at his side, or in his arms. Still shaking with fear, I closed my eyes and decided to believe all of the above.
Outside, men started shouting as the growls grew louder. Footsteps thudded on the stairs. I found Kerr’s hand and gripped it.
“Your hair smells sweet like the flowers from my home.”
“W-what?”
I turned my head, not believing he was smelling my hair while at least two of those creatures were just outside.
He leaned in and rubbed his nose against mine.
“I know the hounds are outside, but I can’t focus on them. Not when I’m here with you. Feeling your body against mine.”
Maybe he had the right idea. Not thinking.
I turned further and pressed my lips to his. He groaned and held still until I opened my mouth and licked his bottom
lip. He growled in the back of his throat, and his hold on me tightened.
I pulled back and looked at him. The vertical slits of his pupils were so wide they were almost round.
“I have no right to you,” he said. “But I will fight until my dying breath to make you mine.”
“Why?”
Glass shattered downstairs. Panicked, I kept talking to distract myself.
“I’m a mom with two kids. I’m emotionally bruised and not even sure if I want another relationship. I’m not sure I can trust someone with my heart like that again. On top of all my baggage, there’s the fact that we barely know each other. Sure there’s a physical attraction. A lot of it.” I let my fingers wander over his hard chest for a moment. “And yes, I know I said motivations are more important than knowing each other, but that’s not enough to build a future on.”
Yelling and howls grew deafening.
“If it’s even possible to have a future.”
I couldn’t stop shaking and burrowed my face against Kerr’s chest. His hand smoothed over the back of my head again and again as my heart thudded in my ears. Tears flowed freely. I wanted to see Lilly again. I was so stupid for leaving her on the non-existent chance that Caden was still alive. This whole trip wasn’t about finding him. It was about closure so my heart could stop feeling like it was being ripped out every time I thought of a tiny infected baby wriggling and hungry, forgotten on the floor of Lee’s new girlfriend’s house.
Lost in my desperate thoughts to see my daughter again, I didn’t at first notice Kerr’s murmured promises of safety or the silence outside. When I did, I swallowed my tears and listened. No hounds. No yelling.
I lifted my head to meet Kerr’s gaze.
He groaned and pressed his mouth to mine. I didn’t know if it was relief that I was alive, gratitude that he’d held me, over a year without sex, or the need for him that he’d slowly kindled inside of me. But, whatever it was, the touch of his lips set a fire in me. I grabbed him by the hair and kissed him back hard. The moment my tongue touched his, the bed started to shake.
Someone knocked on the door, startling me into breaking the kiss.
Kerr growled, and I found myself on my back with his hard length blanketing me. He set his forehead to mine. I barely felt it or the warm exhale that washed over my face. All I could feel was the press of his erection against my legs.
“Kerr, are you looking at her pussy?” a muffled voice called through the door. “Mya said we’re not supposed to ask Cassie to see hers.”
A heat like nothing I’d felt before flooded my face. Slowly, I looked up at the man pinning me to the bed.
Chapter Thirteen
“I saw her pussy yesterday,” Kerr said. My mouth dropped open in shock, and his gaze dipped along with his head.
“It was as beautiful as Ghua promised. And covered with hair.”
Before his lips could touch mine, I clapped my hand over his mouth and shook my head.
“It is beautiful,” Kerr mumbled. “I would like to see it again. Many times.”
“The hounds are gone,” the voice called. “Cassie is needed. Molev and several others were injured.”
Kerr rolled off of me and held out his hand. Instead of getting out of bed, I pulled the blanket over my face.
“Why are you hiding? The hounds are gone,” Kerr said.
“I can’t believe you described my downstairs to another guy. He’s going to be picturing it every time he looks at me now.”
“He is not going to try to picture your pussy because of my words. He was trying to picture it long before now.”
I flipped back the cover to stare at him incredulously.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because it is true. Come. My brothers need you.”
After the conversation we just had, I wasn’t sure I wanted to leave the room. But, I still sat up and got out of bed, without Kerr’s offer of help.
And when I left the room, I kept my eyes on the floor, not wanting to see the face of the fey waiting in the hall or anyone else who might have heard their exchange.
In the kitchen, several fey, including Molev, were sitting at the table. They looked like hell. Cuts and gashes showed through their ripped clothing and marred their exposed skin. Molev bled freely from his hand, the drip, drip, drip on the tile slowing even as I watched.
“I’ll need the red totes out of the back of the truck. Those are the ones with all the medical supplies in them.” A few fey moved to get what I needed.
I walked around the table, visually checking the injuries to determine which were the worst.
“Most of these wounds look like something I can stitch easily. I know soaping up won’t feel good, but can you all take showers first? Use plenty of soap and wash twice to remove any hellhound saliva. When you’re finished, grab any open bed, and I’ll come to each one of you as soon as I can.”
“Go,” Molev said to the other two at the table. “I will wait until you’re finished.”
The pair nodded and left the room. I could see from the way they moved just how much they were hurting.
“Was it just you three injured?” I asked.
“No. Others were hurt but not badly enough to use the supplies meant for the people at Whiteman.”
Molev’s generosity and Matt’s asshat attitude collided in my head.
“I think I’ll be the judge of that,” I said. I walked through the house and checked everyone. He was right about not needing to use the medical supplies. Most of the injuries were minor scratches that I knew would heal quickly on the fey. I still gave each man my time and advice on how to care for their wounds. However, I doubted the house would have enough soap for all the washing that would need to happen tonight.
When I returned to the kitchen, Molev was gone, and the totes were on the table. I dug for what I needed, handing a few items to Kerr, then went upstairs to start stitching the first fey, Bauts.
Kerr hovered closely, watching everything I did. And, like when I treated Merdon, Kerr handed me what I needed and removed any trash that might have infected blood on it. It was a long while before I straightened away and told Bauts he should stay in the bed and rest for the remainder of the night.
The second fey, Azio, lay bare-assed on a frilly white comforter in the next room. I took a child’s blanket to modestly cover his hips then started stitching the worst of his wounds as well. Those I didn’t stitch, I still probed for teeth.
By the time I reached Molev, my lower back was aching. However, seeing the deep scores across his back now that he was laying on his stomach made my pain seem insignificant.
“What happened out there?” I asked to distract him.
“Two hellhounds found us. We pinned them and crushed their hearts. They will not be back.”
“Why do they always hunt in pairs?” I gently started probing the worst of his wounds.
“I think it is because this place is so much larger than our caverns, and they want to cover more ground. Something they cannot do if they would continue to hunt in the large packs they are used to.”
I opened the first suture package and set to work.
“They hunted in larger packs in the caverns?”
“Yes. I never encountered a pack of less than ten.”
“I couldn’t imagine how you would have been able to fight ten at a time.”
“Most could not and died often.”
I remembered Kerr’s comment about lifetimes and stopped talking after that. Molev didn’t move or make a sound as I worked. I knew it had to hurt, though. When I snipped the end of the final stitch, I noticed his eyes were closed and his breathing even. Thinking he was sleeping, I took a blanket from the end of the bed and covered him up. Kerr didn’t say anything.
Molev, who I’d thought sleeping, said my name and startled a scream from me.
“I am sorry,” he said. “I did not mean to frighten you.”
He started to sit up, and I hurried to put a hand on his shoul
der.
“You need to rest. Bodies, at least humans, heal faster that way.”
“I will. But not here. This is your bed.”
He tried to get up again, and I pushed him back down. I was no fool. I knew he had the strength to swat me aside, but the fey reserved that strength for the infected and the hellhounds.
“Molev, if you don’t stay in this bed and sleep the rest of the night, I’m going to…”
He watched me expectantly.
“Okay, fine. I have no threat that will work with you. But I really want you to stay and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s the day we look for Caden. And with the way the infected are acting, everyone needs to be at their best. We’ll be heading straight into the thick of it. No skirting around the edges tomorrow.”
He grunted and closed his eyes. As I stared at him to make sure he was actually going to sleep, I realized I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. He was the biggest and baddest of them all and standoffish compared to the rest, but he still had the same gentle qualities that made the fey who they were.
I moved away from the bed and found Kerr had placed a blanket on the floor. Was it just a lucky guess that he knew I wouldn’t dream of kicking an injured man out of bed?
I crossed the room and lay down. He took a pillow from the bed and joined me. As exhausted as I was, the heat of his arm against mine sent me to sleep.
* * * *
The light penetrated my sleep after I turned my head. By slow degrees, I became aware of reality. Warm. Cuddled. Laying on top of a chiseled torso that definitely liked mornings.
My cheeks heated, and I lifted my head to look down at Kerr. His arms tightened around my waist. One hand moved between my shoulder blades. The other hand anchored my lower back and pressed my hips more firmly against his massive erection.
Not thinking clearly, I sat up quickly, straddling him. His hands locked on my hips. There wasn’t enough material between us to shield my sensitive bits when he arched into my pelvis. A zing of pleasure hit me hard. A small sound escaped me. He pressed upward again, his gaze locked on my face. I barely managed to stop my eyes from rolling back in my head.
“You need to let go,” I said, my voice quavering just a bit as I unintentionally rocked against him.