by Ruth Hay
“What? How did this happen? Didn’t we visit the Campbell castle recently?”
“Fiona is a dear friend of mine and she has a charming little cottage by the seashore where you can stay as long as you like, or until next summer’s holiday makers arrive.”
“But, that sounds wonderful! Thank you so much. I can’t believe how kind you are, Mrs. Drake, to arrange this for me, especially after I almost killed your great-niece here.”
“Wait just a minute,” objected Ashley, “I am not so fragile, you know. I should be apologizing to you, Edmund, for not keeping an eye out for the changing weather conditions.”
“Never mind,” insisted Alan. “It’s a lesson learned, and given the circumstances, it was a bold move to slide down the field like that. Although, I’m thinking some of the sheep will never recover from the shock!”
That set them all off into gales of laughter and all tension immediately evaporated from the warm kitchen.
It was much later, after the table had been cleared and the brown betty teapot refilled, that Anna remembered her other discovery.
“Before you two head off for home and the doctor climbs back in his car, I have another surprise.
Edmund, if I may call you by your first name, this will not mean much to you, but bear with me. Ashley pointed me in the direction of an amazing discovery that is an incredible link to my past. Unknown to me, several sketchbooks belonging to Lawren Drake were in a storage cupboard upstairs. The sketches mean so much to me because I can recall most of the times and places where they were created.
More important than that, however, is the self-portrait drawn by my husband. You see, he was always looking outward at other people and scenes, and he never allowed me to take photos of him. He was superstitious about it for some reason. I don’t know when he did the work, but it is beyond comforting to me to have this drawing here. I have Ashley to thank, of course.”
There were tears in her eyes as she fetched the sketch from the larder shelf where it had been waiting for this moment. She held it up so everyone could see it.
Edmund had no connection to the sketch but he saw the effect it had on the Matthews and on Anna herself.
Ashley felt happy her secret was out and her aunt had accepted the portrait sketch without any adverse comments. There was still a lot to decide about the sketches in general, and whether they could be an addition to the book, and yet, it seemed as if her aunt’s attitude would be one of approval.
It had been a long, challenging day, but for Ashley Stanton it had brought her closer to the Matthews and to Edmund Jansen. The danger they had shared and survived, was a bond she thought would be maintained during the weeks remaining of her time in Scotland.
Two things were clear to her. She had plenty of work ahead and she must buy a new coat and shoes before the worst of the winter weather descended.
Overnight the wind dropped but snow covered the ground and drifted down from the mountain tops.
“This is the best kind of snow,” declared Ashley, as she stood, wrapped in a tartan shawl, looking out from the office at the garden. “It’s not too heavy and it lingers on the branches of trees like lace. Every bush and plant is outlined in white, at least until the wind returns.”
“Well, I suppose we can’t complain. It’s been a long, autumn season and we are getting close to December.” Anna gently pulled her great-niece’s shawl up closer to her neck. She was concerned that the previous day’s adventure might have resulted in a chill or cold. Ashley had eaten a huge bowl of porridge for breakfast, however, and seemed anxious to get back to work since the snow indicated resting at home was required.
“Right then, what do you want me to do next to help with the writing?”
Ashley returned to her seat behind the desk and looked at her aunt. “I think we have some great material already. With the possible addition of the sketches, we would move into an illustrated book and for that I need my publisher’s approval. Meantime, I do have a gap in the story but I am reluctant to broach the subject, Aunt Anna.”
“Surely we know one another well enough now! You can ask me anything. I said at the start that I am ready to let the world know more about my husband and I am not changing my mind.”
Ashley rubbed her hands together before beginning. “This could be too personal. I would understand if you chose to keep it private.”
“Tell me. Opening up memories has the ability to take the sting out of them no matter how private they have been.”
“If you say so, and only if you are certain.”
Ashley began in a very quiet voice to denote her respect for the one whose confidences were to be revealed. “As far as I can discover, none of your friends knows exactly how Lawren died.”
There was an audible gasp from her aunt and Ashley feared she had gone too far. To her relief, Anna began to talk after a moment during which it seemed she was gathering her courage.
“I was expecting this question to arise at some point and I am pleased to be able to tell you about it, Ashley. It is a memory that has been hidden away for long enough.”
Anna Mason Drake settled herself in the spare padded chair beside the desk and looked out to the garden. Ashley pressed play on her recorder and waited, in high suspense.
“Ashley, your published interview was the one that told the world Lawren died of a sudden aneurism.
At the time, the loss was too near to me and I could not speak freely about it. I will tell you how and where he died and leave it to you how much you will share with the public.
It’s difficult to imagine that day, with snow now covering all the details of the garden. It was high summer then, and we were out for a drive in the countryside around here. There are so many lovely spots and Lawren was always intrigued by the side roads and byways. He would say, ‘Let’s go down this way, Anna. Let’s explore! Who knows what wonders we could uncover along the roadside or in a field?’
Of course, with this attitude and his uncanny sense of the unusual, we often did find a romantic ruined castle or a standing stone at a crossroads and he would begin a tale to match the circumstances while I just listened in amazement at his powers of invention.
If the scenery merited it, he would sit on a drystone wall and sketch while I gathered wildflowers. I kept a plastic bag filled with water in the car for such occasions. I looked up the names of the flowers, later, in the books Helen left here.”
As she spoke, Anna’s voice grew softer, younger, and more joyful and a smile lingered at the corner of her mouth. Ashley dared not interrupt but she hoped the voice recording would serve as a reminder, not only of the words, but also of the way her aunt looked at these moments.
“We had driven for some miles along a track that led higher into the mountains. I remember there was a stream running fast just to the left of the track and Lawren remarked on how brackish the water looked. I knew it came through the peat bogs under the mountains and tumbled over the rocks down to the sea. He said it must be the reason why whisky tasted so special in Scotland and I agreed.
It was a glorious, bright, warm day. Birds of prey were circling far above us on the thermals and heather was just beginning to set its buds for the Fall display.
The track we were on gradually became more narrow and it came to an end a mile or so further on.
A low wall of rough stones marked where a cottage had once stood. Lawren turned the car for the return journey then stopped the engine. The silence descended around us. A breeze blew in through the open car windows and I suddenly craved to be outside. Lawren followed me through the knee-high grasses and over to what must once have been a small garden around the long-deserted cottage. I spied a different variety of lavender growing between two rocks and stepped carefully over the debris to reach it.
Behind me, Lawren stood still and breathed deeply. He said, and I remember every word, for it was the last thing he ever said. ‘This is a beautiful land, full of mystery and solitude but crying out with the voices of those w
ho lived and loved among its mountains and wide spaces. I am so glad you brought me here, my dearest Anna. I have never felt so at peace in my entire life as I have with you in these glens and moors.’
I swiveled round to return his compliments and saw he had sunk to his knees amid the stones. At first, I thought he had spied some wild mushrooms or a beetle with an iridescent shell, but then he slowly collapsed and lay motionless.
I went to him at once and cradled his head in my lap. I knew he was gone. I felt his spirit leave. I sat there for however long I cannot tell, weeping, and talking to him about how happy he made me, recalling our life together and the sweet moments we shared.
It did not occur to me that I needed to summon help until the sky began to darken and I felt a chill that was much deeper than the shiver of my skin.
In the end I removed my cardigan and made a pillow for his head. I could scarcely think but I knew I did not want an ambulance to come screeching along the track with harsh voices asking me questions, so I called Grant. He sensed by the tone of my voice that something significant had happened. All he asked for were what I saw around me and where we had left the main road. I told him what I could and I kept my phone open so he could get updates as he grew closer. Grant knew the country well. Only he could have found us. It was the old cottage at the end of the track that gave him the clue.
Together we carried Lawren to the back seat of his car and I sat beside my love as we went back to Oban. Grant called the doctor on the way and alerted Bev and Alan to be there at the house with lights on and a stiff drink waiting for me.
I really can’t remember anything else, Ashley. The shock finally hit and I collapsed for some days.”
* * *
There was a long silence after this. The stillness outside the office window mirrored the stillness inside the room. Ashley hardly dared to breathe. She was astounded at her aunt’s courage. She did not intend to ask more but the quiet voice continued once again.
“Lawren was buried on Iona on a plot of land belonging to an ancient church on the island, near The Bay At the Back of the Ocean where we had been so happy together. As much of this as possible was kept secret. Only a few people know where he lies. It is not likely anyone would find his grave accidently.
I marked the spot in such a way that it is not obvious to the casual walker.
I sometimes return to Iona and visit the Abbey where we married. Then I walk across the island to his burial place.
The entire island of Iona is a place of pilgrimage so it is fitting that he rests there within hearing of the sea. Lawren Drake was a pilgrim voyager of sorts from his beginning to his end. I was privileged to join him on part of his journey.
I choose to believe his heart failed at a moment of extreme happiness.”
* * *
Ashley gulped. She was overcome with emotion and reached out a trembling hand to touch her aunt’s hands as they lay folded in her lap. On feeling the sympathetic touch, Anna Drake turned at last from the window view and smiled at her niece.
“It’s all right, Ashley dear. I feel lighter now that I have told the story to you. It was a hard experience but time has softened its impact and now I am at peace with it.
I’ll leave you here to work, if that’s what you want. I will go back upstairs and look over the rest of what is stored in the cedar closet. There may be more items you can use for the book.”
Ashley watched her go but she did not feel like working. The entire episode had left her exhausted.
She was beginning to get a real understanding of who Lawren Drake was as an extraordinary man, a consummate artist and a loving husband.
This knowledge came with an accompanying fear that she would not be capable of doing justice to him.
She hoped it was a temporary weakness. She sensed that if the author cannot have faith in her project the reader will also lose faith in her efforts.
Pulling the shawl closer to her neck, she closed up her notebook and switched off the recorder.
Her cell phone was lying on the desk and she decided to phone Edmund to see how he was doing after the previous day’s adventure. It would be a touch of normality in what was shaping up to be a highly dramatic day.
She reached him at once but soon found out just how busy he was.
“Hi Edmund! I’m just checking in to find out how your ribs are doing?”
“Oh, Ashley I was about to do the same thing for you but the surgery has been madness all morning. There have been several car accidents due to the sudden icy rain and subsequent snow conditions. Nothing too serious, I’m glad to say. Cuts and bruises mainly. Doc Williams got away safely on the train to Glasgow, so I am on my own here.”
“Sorry! I won’t keep you. Call me later if you can.”
“No wait! Please pass on my thanks to your aunt. I had a visit this morning from Fiona Campbell. She said she had just delivered her children to school and thought I might like to inspect the cottage. She left the keys with me. Ashley, would you go with me this evening? I need a feminine perspective on what might be required. I could collect you around seven, if that’s not too late?’
“Oh, sure, Edmund! I’d be happy to help. I’ll see you later then.”
“Wonderful!”
And he was gone.
Ashley had a thought that his ribs were not preventing him from working but he would not likely have time to eat in such a busy day. She was keen to see the cottage by the shoreline and she would make up a picnic basket they could share in his new home. She went at once to the kitchen to see what she could make into sandwiches. A flask of hot soup would be tasty and she could include cookies and teabags in case the cottage kitchen was not stocked. That led her to the problem of how to transport milk so she went into the larder to look for a jar with a secure lid. Once everything was assembled she realized she would need to borrow a coat from her Aunt Anna for the evening expedition.
Anna was upstairs in the storage closet and she quickly extracted a winter coat and a pair of sturdy shoes for Ashley. As she did so she concealed behind her back another item she had uncovered in her search.
“Oh, these smell wonderful! I would love to have a cedar-lined closet one day.”
Anna looked on as her great-niece tried on the coat. In her mind was the knowledge that Ashley would inherit this very closet one day. It made her think of Helen Dunlop who likely stood in this same spot and may have thought of her distant relative possibly inheriting the estate house. The difference between the two incidents was that Helen never had the chance to know the woman to whom her house was offered. Neither did she know for sure that Anna Mason would accept the challenge of crossing the ocean and beginning a new life in Scotland. It was another reason why Anna felt blessed that she had such a close relationship with Ashley.
“Hmm!” she said, “you had better pack a torch and some candles. The electricity might not be on. It wouldn’t matter during the day but it would be a problem at night. Look around when you get there, Ashley, and see if there’s anything we can add for the doctor’s comfort in the cottage. Sometimes an extra item or two makes all the difference although I’m sure Fiona has left the place in good order. After all, it was her childhood home and has many memories of her Granny.”
“Good ideas! I’ll do that. By the way, what happened to Fiona’s parents?”
“Her father was a fisherman with his own boat. He drowned in a storm while Fiona was just a child and her mother died soon after from a broken heart, or so they say. It might have destroyed a lesser girl than Fiona but her Granny was a tough old Scotswoman and Fiona learned to be independent and to work hard. That’s why I admire her so much. She has never changed in all the years I have known her. I am so glad she found true happiness with Gordon Campbell.”
“That’s a lovely story! This is turning out to be a day of life stories. Have you found anything else of significance in here?”
“Not yet. I want to go through some more boxes. I am enjoying the memories they unlock and
I will keep my eyes open for anything that might be useful for the book.”
Chapter Eighteen
It was full dark by the time Ashley and Edmund reached the cottage. She had been right to guess he had not had a chance to eat since breakfast so they set out the picnic as soon as Edmund had managed to wiggle the large iron key enough to open the lock.
The interior was in darkness until Ashley lit the candles setting them into saucers from the tiny kitchen at the back of the cottage.
“Watch your ankles, Ashley! It’s pitch black outside the candle’s range.”
She could not hear this warning very clearly as Edmund had already poured soup into the cup at the top of the flask and was chewing on a bread roll as he spoke.
Once the candles were arrayed around the living room and the torch was standing by for further explorations, they surveyed the accommodations.
“It’s definitely cozy, Edmund!” was her summation.
“I don’t mind it at all. My mother and father started out in a small row of houses just like this one. It feels like home to me. I can light a fire in the winter evenings and be perfectly comfortable. If I’m right, there will be one bedroom and a small bathroom at the top of the stairs. I can see already, it is a vast improvement on my current lodgings. I don’t need much in the way of storage space so this is perfect for me until I see where my next job opportunity leads me.”
“So, you don’t intend to stay on in Oban, permanently?” For some reason, this thought brought a pang of discomfort to his listener.
“It’s not really up to me. I am still gaining experience to decide on my specialization as well as my location. I could go to Edinburgh or Glasgow and work in a big hospital.”
“Is that what you would like?” She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She had no right to be concerned in his professional choices. She was not going to be around much longer but it seemed as if Edmund Jansen was a good fit for the small town, at least as far as she had seen, based on his care of her aunt.