by Lind, Hailey
“Of course I’m right. I’m always right.”
“Listen, I’ve been thinking,” I said. “You say there’s good money in the art retrieval business?”
Michael looked surprised. “Let’s put it this way—you’d have to paint half a lifetime to earn the equivalent of a single reward.”
I mulled that over. Working at the columbarium had taught me that life was short. I was thirty-two years old, owned a successful San Francisco faux-finishing business, and still had to work like a dog to make ends meet. When I started True/Faux Studios five years ago I’d known it would never be a gold mine, but I hadn’t realized how all-consuming it would be. How much longer would I be willing to sacrifice all the other joys life had to offer—a dog, beach vacations, a mortgage—just to scrape by? Unless I landed a sugar daddy, won the lottery, or joined my grandfather in the family forgery business, I would spend the next thirty years laboring away with little to show for it.
“Would this business involve graveyard mud slides and homicidal physicians?” I asked.
“So far it’s pretty much about e-mails.”
E-mails sounded good. I could handle e-mails.
“I wouldn’t want to give up my studio.”
“You wouldn’t have to. Just cut back on the jobs you don’t want to do anyway.”
“And we’d be partners?”
“Absolutely.”
“I want sixty percent.”
He laughed. “Twenty-five.”
“No way.”
“Thirty.”
I glared at him.
“Forty-five.”
“Fifty-five, plus business cards engraved ‘Kincaid and Johnson.’ ”
“Johnson and Kincaid.”
“It was my idea!”
“Kincaid and Johnson sounds like we sell men’s clothing.”
“Fine. But I want genuine engraving on the business cards, not the cheap printed stuff.”
“Your name in raised type, eh?”
“Yup.”
“Done.”
“And you have to get rid of the Whistler’s Mother graphics on the Web site.”
“Hey! People love the dancing grannies.”
“Not me.”
“Okay, a fifty-fifty split, engraved business cards, and due respect for Whistler.”
Frank was sure to have a hissy fit when he heard. But I had a few choice arguments to counter with, not the least of which was the fact that DeBenton Enterprises had been employing the dreaded Michael X. Johnson of late.
“Let’s do it.”
He nodded and gave me a crooked grin. “I’ll let you in on a little secret, Annie. I don’t know that much about art.”
“That’s supposed to be a secret?”
“So we have a deal?”
“Deal.” I held out my hand and we shook.
“One last thing,” Michael said, his eyes lingering on my wet, sticky T-shirt. “What’s your policy on workplace fraternization?”
“In your dreams.”
“Sweetheart, you have no idea.”
Author’s Note
All the human characters in Brush with Death are fictitious, but some of the nonhuman characters are very real, and worthy of special mention.
Chapel of the Chimes. Oakland’s Chapel of the Chimes provides services as a crematorium, columbarium, and mausoleum—but its neighbors know it as a historic landmark that welcomes visitors with open arms. Founded in 1909, the columbarium has undergone numerous expansions and changes in response to the evolving needs of the surrounding community.
The illustrious architect Julia Morgan—most famous for her work on Hearst Castle—took over the design of the building in 1926, reworking older areas and adding new sections inspired by the dramatic Romanesque Revival and Gothic styles she loved. Morgan worked with local and Old World artisans skilled in concrete tracery, ironwork, and the decorative arts. Natural elements are echoed in stained glass, mosaic, and murals; complex groin vaults, quatrefoil windows, and Byzantine designs abound. What she couldn’t find locally, Morgan unearthed in her travels—sumptuous historic decorations were brought over from Europe and seamlessly integrated into Chapel of the Chimes’ tranquil maze of intimate, unique chapels and chambers.
The cyclical nature of life and death is reflected in the elements of water, sky, and lush gardens included throughout the columbarium. Morgan also installed innovative electric skylights that are still opened on sunny days to invite in the light and air. Even today canaries are kept to sing near the fountains, and when the skylights are open wild birds swoop in to enjoy the gardens.
After Julia Morgan’s retirement in 1951, Aaron Green, an associate of Frank Lloyd Wright, was hired to design an addition to Chapel of the Chimes. Though the new section is distinct from the old—with majestic, sweeping rooms replacing the older, more personal chambers—Green included many elements from Morgan’s decorative designs. Here, again, the elements of garden, sky, and water are prominent, and are reflected symbolically throughout the columbarium and newer mausoleum sections of the building.
Despite yet another expansion in the 1970s and 1980s, Chapel of the Chimes retains its intimate appeal. Located at the end of Piedmont Avenue, the columbarium offers concerts, recitals, and holiday celebrations, and invites the public to enjoy its history and beauty. Chapel of the Chimes is not associated in any way with the neighboring cemetery, and any and all details about financial issues and business matters are entirely fictional products of the authors’ imaginations.
La Fornarina. La Fornarina, by Raphael Sanzio of Urbino, is a real painting residing in the Palazzo Barberini, at the Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica. Any and all insinuations that it was replaced with a copy are purely fictitious and were fabricated for the sake of the story. Otherwise, the painting’s history is accurate as represented within these pages. La Fornarina, or “the little baker girl,” is an exquisite painting of a young woman whom Raphael may very well have loved and even secretly married, though there is still a great deal of controversy over this interpretation. The botanical symbols of fertility in the background were indeed unveiled during a recent cleaning, as was a small ring on her finger that is believed to have been painted over posthumously by Raphael’s students in an effort to avoid speculation over the lady’s identity . . . and her relationship to the artist. Raphael died on his thirty-seventh birthday, shortly after completing La Fornarina.
Annie’s Guide to Marbling
Try this at home!
“Marbling” was popular in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, especially in the European colonies, where wealthy residents hired itinerant artists to mimic expensive marbles and semiprecious stones on trim carved out of cheap, locally available woods. Today’s faux-finishing techniques can lend the beauty and formality of stone to any paintable surface, from furniture to fireplace mantels to entire walls . . . even cars!
Standard Beige Veined Marble
Marbling Supplies:
Base Coat: Off-white, beige-gray semigloss alkyd interior house paint
Glazes:
White glaze: 2 parts white or cream alkyd interior house paint, 1 part glaze medium, 1 part thinner
Tan glaze: 2 parts tan alkyd interior house paint, 1 part glaze medium, 1 part thinner
Artist’s paints: Burnt umber, raw sienna, mars black, and Davy’s gray
Note: Paint color choices depend upon the stone you want to mimic! Feel free to experiment with lighter glazes on a black background, for example.
Other Supplies:
Very soft, dry, three-inch paintbrush
Thin “liner” artist brushes for veins
Feathers (Goose are great; any large enough to paint with will do. Don’t buy them—I pick them up off the ground.) Clean cotton rags or cheesecloth
Cotton swabs
Mineral spirits
Glaze medium
Protective gloves
Plastic dishes, shallow bowls, or palettes
Before you start:
Study. Look at real samples of the stone you wish to mimic, and note how the veins run, how mottled the background is, and the variation in color and texture. Many marble and stone distributors have broken tiles or parts of slabs that are free and readily available. Some will even chip off little pieces of slabs of special stones, or offer inexpensive samples.
Decide whether you want a polished finish, which means that the colors are deeper and shiny (as though wet), or a honed finish, which looks matte and almost dusty, and not as colorful.
Prepare the surface. Sand or spackle so that the surface is as smooth as possible if you are going for a “polished” look. If you are a free spirit (or lazy, like me) simply transform surface imperfections into marble veins, pits, and splotches.
Paint the base coat. Apply base coat and allow it to dry thoroughly according to the manufacturer’s directions. Remember, other colors may be used for different effects, such as black for Tinos Green or Red Levanto marble, orangey-red for Rosso Verona, dark beige for travertine limestone. No need to stick to nature, either: your imagination is the only limit. Just remember that the base color will show through and provide your background color.
Marbling:
First of all, protect your hands with gloves!
Create a mottled background texture over base paint. Wad up a cotton rag or cheesecloth and wet it with mineral spirits and a little glaze medium. Dab it into a small amount of white glaze poured onto a palette or plastic dish. Gently roll the wadded cloth onto the surface in a random fashion, creating uneven “drifts” over the entire surface. Step back occasionally and make sure you aren’t unconsciously creating patterns or forms that look like worms or circles.
Soften blotches. Using the three-inch paintbrush, lightly pass the bristles over the white to soften the effect. If you want to add other colors, now’s the time. Let the colors drift into one another, but don’t mix them.
Repeat process with the darker tan glaze.
Apply veins. This is the fun part! Using your feather or artist’s liner brush, dip it into the tan glaze or thinned artists’ paints and apply a series of squiggly lines that come together and then flare apart. Leaving your wrist loose, hold the feather or brush as lightly as possible. Let it flop around, creating a wonderfully chaotic line. Note how veins run in real marble: generally from one side to another, in a nervous, fidgety line, not in a criss-cross grid pattern. Follow along the sides of your drifts of color.
Soften. Using the dry three-inch paintbrush, lightly brush over wet veins in both directions, allowing the wet paint to smudge and drift.
Revein. Now go back in and pick out some strong veins where you will reapply paint. Marble usually has faint, deep veins, and a few that are obvious and close to the surface. Pick these out. Use the cotton swabs to push from under and over the veins, thinning them in some areas, while allowing for girth in others. Add splotches of strong white veins in some areas.
Vein with mineral spirits. Wetting an artist’s liner brush in mineral spirits, run along some sections of the drying paint to “open” areas. As you apply the solvent, the paint will pull away, allowing the base paint to show.
Protective finish. The surface does not need to be sealed unless it requires extra protection, as on the floor or in the bathroom, or if you wish for a high-gloss polish. Note that light, white or cream marbles will “yellow” if you apply an oil or mineral-based varnish; use a water-soluble one instead. Amber shellac can also be used over surfaces where a mellowing amber is an advantage, such as golden marbles. A “honed” look can be accomplished by adding a little chalky white paint to a matte sealer before application.
Suggestions:
Don’t feel constricted to mimicking real stone. Paint offers limitless possibilities—that’s the fun of it! Try outlandish color combinations; sprinkle gold or silver metallic powders into topcoats; drift in little flakes of metallic gilding papers.
Cut a potato into crescents and uneven round shapes. Press these into glaze or draw with their edges to create “shells” as found in fossil stones.
Be sure to stay random! This is the hardest thing for beginning faux finishers, who create unconscious patterns in their painted finishes. Step back from your work often and assess it from a distance.
Feel free to add more and more layers of glaze and veining— this will increase the rich, deep sense of stone.
Let veins and drifts of color run off the visible plane—don’t end everything at the corner of the wall or side of the panel. Make it look as though the marble was cut from a larger piece of stone.
In vast areas such as entire walls, apply an overall glaze and use newspaper or bunched-up plastic bags to create a less detailed marbleized texture.
Have fun!