“Hotdogs.”
“You always want hotdogs,” Alexis teased with a tickle to her ribs. She couldn’t do this. She wouldn’t do this. It wasn’t just her anymore and she had remember that. No matter how hard it was, she had to remind herself that it wasn’t just about her anymore. She had Riki and Kinley.
Alexis did her best to interact with Riki and Kinley like she always had. They walked to the pond with Mr. Dog, planted some marigold seeds and then some bulbs. The simple meal with hotdogs and french-fries was eaten on the front porch without Cory. Alexis thought about him every single minute, wondering what he was doing. She was sitting on the toilet, watching the girls play in the tub when she heard the buzz from her phone.
“Watch Kinley,” she said as she darted to the front room to retrieve her cell phone. Returning two seconds later she opened the message.
Cory—We need to talk.
Thank God!
Alexis—I was hoping you would say that.
Cory—I don’t want to talk about you. I don’t care about you. We need to talk about the girls. Riki doesn’t belong to you.
Alexis—She does too!!! I don’t want you to take her from me, from Kinley. I want them to be together. We don’t have to do this, Cory. Come home and talk to me.
Cory—I don’t want them separated either. This is my suggestion. I will get them every other weekend and Tuesdays and Thursday? We need to be adults and both attend her Tee-ball games. I’m not going to argue with you about them. If this doesn’t work for you, let me know now. I want them to get used to a routine as quick as possible.
Alexis—That’s not okay with me. None of this is okay, Cory. We’re a family. Don’t do this.
Cory—I will pick them up from Sam’s house tomorrow.
Alexis—You’re being a dick. You could at least give me five minutes of your time.
Nothing. Alexis gave up and dropped her phone after ten minutes. Cory was done talking and he wasn’t going to give her one minute, let alone five. Dickhead.
Alexis watched Riki playing with Kinley, knocking over blocks on the living room floor, and made the dreaded call to her dad next. That’s when she cried again. He didn’t judge her at all, not like Sam did. She didn’t go into details, but just hearing him say that things were going to be okay, and in time, this too shall pass, made it all better. Her dad was never wrong. Every time he spoke those words they came true. She could only hope they did this time as well.
“Keep your chin up. God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. You’re being tested. It’s up to you how you handle it, Sputter Bug.”
Alexis smiled at Kinley giggling at the falling tower. Riki dramatically fell over with it, sending her little sister into a gut wrenching laugh. “I’m okay, dad. Don’t worry about me. I’m a McKinley.”
“I do worry.”
“Well, stop it. I’ve got to go, Dad. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Tell Mom I said goodnight.”
“I love you, and I’m here if you need anything.”
“I know. I love you too, night, Dad.”
Alexis took another deep breath and dialed her sister.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Sam. I’m sorry. That was below the belt and very cruel of me. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have, but I forgive you. Would you like to hear about it?”
“You don’t have to tell me anything.”
“It was a long time ago. Doug forgave me many years ago. We worked through it. That being said, it doesn’t make it right. I was wrong.”
“This is different, Sam.”
“Is it? I was drunk, too. You can only use that excuse for a copout so many times, before you admit that you were wrong and ask for forgiveness.”
“Yeah, I’m just going to not talk to you about this, okay. I’m sorry I said what I said.”
“I forgive you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay, but Cory is picking them up.”
“Okay, goodnight.”
“Night, Sam.”
Alexis’s heart stopped when Cory’s name flashed with the ringing in her hand.
“Hello.”
“Can I talk to Riki?”
Alexis didn’t even bother. She handed it right over to Riki with a sigh.
Cory did everything in is power to stay away from Alexis. He picked the girls up from Sam’s and dropped them off there the next morning. Same thing on the weekend. He got them from her house on Fridays and dropped them off Monday mornings. This quickly became routine. Alexis did okay on the days she had the girls. It was the days that Cory had them that she went crazy. She saved the lawn work for when he had them for something to keep her mind occupied. The attic became her newest project and she spent her alone time, redecorating and painting. Riki was going to be a very happy little girl on her birthday. The dark room was slowly being transformed into an adorable play house and Riki didn’t have a clue.
Alexis did see Cory once a week for Riki’s T-ball games, but one or the other was there for the practices. It didn’t really count anyway, not when he sat as far away from her as he could and wouldn’t even look at her.
Days turned into weeks and the weeks finally hit a month. It seemed surreal, like it was yesterday and still very raw, not like a month had gone by. Cory texted when it had to do with the girls and that’s it. Alexis stopped trying and didn’t even bother. She even rolled her eyes at the buzzing phone on her desk the next Friday he was supposed to get them.
Cory—I’m stuck in Canterville. Can you get the girls? I’ll pick them up as soon as I’m done.
Alexis—Yeah, sure.
Riki didn’t want to go with Alexis from Sam’s. Her dad was supposed to pick her up and they were going to eat pizza and play games.
“He’s going to get you after work, Riki. He had to work late.”
“Do we still get to go eat pizza?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. If you don’t go today, I’m sure he’ll take you tomorrow. I don’t know how late he’s going to be.” Of course Cory couldn’t just answer the question when she texted, asking him if he knew about what time. She got one quick response that said, don’t know. She only wanted to know whether or not to feed the kids and he only cared about being a dick.
Alexis fed them, bathed them, and put them to bed. Kinley dozed off in her arms first while she swung her on the porch. She carried her up to bed and Riki wasn’t far behind.
“There’s lights. Maybe that’s him,” she said for the third time. Nope, wrong again.
“What do you want for your birthday?” Alexis asked, even though it was still over three months away.
“I want to have a birthday party at the farm and invite my friends.”
Alexis reached over and tickled her on the arm, “I know that, silly, but what do you want.”
“I can’t ask for Daddy to come home, huh?”
Her heart ached at the mention of him. “Hmm, I don’t think we could wrap that up. What else?”
“Maybe a pony.”
Her mouth dropped open, “A pony! I can’t wrap that up either.”
“Well, you could tie a bow on her.”
“A her?”
“Uh-uh, and I’m going to name her Freedom.”
“I like that name, but I don’t know if you’re ready for a pony. You have to take care of them.”
“I will. I will brush her and, feed her, and ride her.”
“We’ll see.” It wasn’t a horrible idea. Alexis always had a pony or a horse growing up. Her parents would let her keep it there, but she would have to mull that one over. She wasn’t ready to just say yes to a pony.
Alexis carried Riki up to bed just before nine and was pissed off by the time she got to her shower. He could at least text or call, that wasn’t asking too much. She gave up on him by nine-thirty, assuming he changed his mind. The thought of him being with someone else was front and center in her mind. She tried her best to shake it off and not think about it with a beer.
She sat on the swing with her phone, shaking her head in disbelief, pulling her bare legs to her chest. The temperature was warm, but the air still had a bit of a chill to it. The long Brady County Dragons’ shirt, barely covered her ass. Alexis drank two of the six beers she’d planned on consuming while she worked on the attic. Two was all it took. She didn’t want the beer and it left her feeling nauseas. That could have been the frozen pizza too. Riki insisted. She didn’t care if her dad was going to take her the next day for pizza. It was her new favorite. Riki could eat pizza, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Alexis sat the empty beer bottle on the banister and came to her feet when she saw the lights. Seriously? Did he really think they would be awake at ten o’clock at night?
“They’re asleep. Come back tomorrow,” Alexis said in a not so nice tone. What the hell did he expect?
“Did you tell Riki I was working?”
“Yes, you could have called or texted.”
Cory continued to walk upon the porch. His eyes went from hers to her feet in a slow seductive pace. “I was busy. What are you doing?”
“Really? What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Drinking alone.”
“Yeah, you’re a genius.”
Cory opened the front door without taking his eyes from her and switched off the porch light. Alexis narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. What the hell?
“You look good enough to eat,” Cory rasped while kissing her lips. Alexis turned her head and pushed his chest. His hands on the banister kept him from moving all while trapping her.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Cory didn’t answer with words. He responded by parting her lips with his tongue and she let him. Next came the hands. His warm hands went up her shirt and to her braless breasts. Thumbs brushed the puckers and they reacted with hard beads. Cory kissed her fervently, grinding into her while lifting her leg and Alexis let him. The heat from his hands was felt on her ass when he slid them between the elastic on her panties. Alexis moaned in his mouth while he slid them over her hips, and Alexis let him. It was like it wasn’t really her, or it wasn’t really happening. Maybe it was a dream. Alexis stepped out of her clothes and dropped her head when Cory’s mouth latched on to her right breast, feeling him slide in. Her head spun in tornado like twists while Cory had his way and she let him. Oh God. How could she let this happen?
“Does that feel good, baby?” Cory questioned with a circling thumb. His mouth on hers kept her from replying with anything more than a whimper. Her hips ground into his when she felt the building, low in her stomach, quickly moving down. Cory held her hips and pumped in and out of her when she caved, surrendering to a man she loved and hated all at the same time. Diving in one last time, Cory held her still while he relinquished with her. The awkwardness was next, but it was brief. Cory smiled with a snide, crooked grin, kissed her lips, and placed her feet to the floor.
“What is this, Cory?” Alexis asked, still clinging to him. She didn’t want him to move away from her. She needed him right there, touching her like he was. She held down on her shirt and stared at him puzzled.
Cory put himself away and took a step back. The look from head to toe that time was full of repulsiveness, not lust. “Wow. That was easy. I’ll be after the girls by nine in the morning.”
Anger fueled her blood instantly. Alexis came to an upright position and grabbed the empty beer bottle right before it fell off the ledge. She retrieved the other one, and followed Cory down the steps.
“Are you serious right now? What the fuck, Cory?”
Cory smiled the same snide grin and got in his car. The first beer bottle caused a crack, but the second one finished the job. The front windshield of his car went into a huge spider web with lines going in all directions. Cory didn’t stop. He backed up, turned in the drive, and went out the long lane with Alexis screaming in the rearview mirror.
“I fucking hate you! You low life mother fucker. I hate you!” Alexis dropped to the gravel with her bare knees and cried. Why was she so stupid? She was beyond hurt. The last month showed her the mask that Cory had lost, but never in a million years would she have guessed he could be so cruel, so cold hearted, and mean. Her chest felt like a ball of fire and the tears wouldn’t stop. Alexis wasn’t sure they ever did stop. Not until she’d finally let emotional exhaustion take over, sometime in the early morning.
****
Light shined in from the bay-window, waking Alexis from her new bed, the sofa. Her eyes felt like she’d washed them in sandpaper and she could feel the puffiness below them. A bead of sweat formed on her forehead and traveled at an alarming rate down her body. She jumped quickly from the couch, hearing Kinley call for her from upstairs. Alexis ignored her with her hand over her mouth and a feeling in her gut. Her fingers tightened, her stomach knotted, and her throat constricted. The green bile being deposited to the toilet felt too familiar.
“Oh God. No! Please, no. Please, please, please,” she begged while dropping to her butt with her head in her hands. Kinley called out again, and she tried to stand, only to be doubled over the toilet again. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t be pregnant. Alexis rinsed her mouth and washed her face, hearing Kinley, getting mad, and shaking the crib with every call for her mommy. Alexis disregarded her again and went to the calendar, covering her desk. One line went through the third week of May and nothing in June. Alexis hadn’t had a period in almost six weeks. How the hell did this keep happening to her? It was stress. That’s all it was. She couldn’t be pregnant. Kinley’s plea to be released from her crib turned into a cry and Alexis went after her.
“I’m coming, baby girl. Shew, no wonder you’re crying. You stink.” As soon as Kinley was changed and dressed, Alexis got the diaper bag ready and woke Riki. Kinley crawling all over her was all it took.
“Wake up sleepy head. Your dad is coming to get you.”
“Can I have a pancake?”
“You always wake up hungry. Yes, come on. I’ll make you a pancake. Get dressed and bring your backpack with you.”
Alexis fed the girls with her hand over her mouth. That scared the hell out of her. The last time the smell of syrup made her sick, Kinley came along. Of all times to be pregnant, this was the worse. What the hell was she supposed to tell Cory? Did she tell him, or let him figure it out on his own. Her dad lied. This was way more than she could handle. Way more.
Alexis walked over to the sink to keep from smelling the sweet aroma and looked at the clock. Bernie would be on her way to work. She didn’t want Bernie to go to work. She needed Bernie.
“Are you calling my dad?”
“No, Aunt Bernie. Hurry up, it’s almost nine.”
“What’s up, Lex?” Bernie answered on the first ring.
“Where are you?”
“Just leaving my house, why?”
“Paige is opening with you, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Let her open. I need you to come over here.” Alexis walked out to the back deck to keep Riki from hearing.
“Okay, why?”
“Cory didn’t get the girls last night. He’s coming this morning. I need you to hand them over to him, so I don’t have to see him.”
“Why?”
“Stop saying, why. Because I need you.”
“Okay, I’m on my way.”
“Wait, one more thing. Can you stop and pick up a pregnancy test?”
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Believe me. I wish I was.”
“Oh my God, Alexis!”
“I know. Hurry up. I don’t want to have to deal with Cory right now.”
“Did something happen?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll tell you when you get here. I’ll call Paige and let her know you’re not coming.”
“Is it bad?”
“I’ll tell you when you get here.”
Thank God Bernie made it before Cory. “Damn, you look like hell. What happened to you?”
/> Alexis shook her head and gave her a dirty look while she slipped Kinley’s shoes on her feet. She wasn’t saying a word around Riki. She had enough to adjust to without adding stuff she wouldn’t understand.
Riki held Kinley’s hands and let her walk around the porch while they waited for Cory and Alexis explained what happened the night before. It was all she could do to get it out without crying. Bernie was speechless. She didn’t know what to say to that.
“Alexis, for the love of God, please tell me that didn’t happen,” she begged with pity.
“It happened, and I let it. He treated me like some slut that he would find on the street corner in Chicago.”
“I want to knee him right in the crotch.”
“Don’t. I don’t even care. I just want this test to turn out with a negative line.”
“Do you think you are? What’s your gut say?”
“That I’m—here he comes. I’m going to wait inside.”
“Daddy!” Riki called.
Alexis picked up Kinley and kissed her little cheeks. “I love you baby girl. I’ll see you Monday, okay?” She handed her to Bernie and knelt to kiss Riki. “You take care of Kinley for me, okay?”
“I will.”
“I love you sooooo much,” she said with a big squeeze. Alexis stepped inside the door and waited off to the side.
“Sorry, I would have been here an hour ago, but I had to go get a new windshield put in first. Some crazy chick threw a couple beer bottles at it last night.”
Alexis shook her head. He wasn’t even remorseful. He was joking about it. The back of her hand swiped a falling tear and she swallowed a dry lump that hadn’t been there a second ago.
“You must have me confused with someone who gives a shit.”
“What the hell, Bernie.”
“Just take the girls and get the hell out of here, Cory.”
“Whatever, let’s go, Riki.”
“Can we get pizza?”
“Yes, but not yet. It’s too early. Do you want to go to the park?”
Cory took his girls, speaking to them without a care in the world. He really didn’t care about Alexis at all.
“Did you break his windshield?” Bernie questioned. Alexis looked out the window, catching him looking back.
This Too Shall Pass Page 8