by Marian Tee
“Caylie, did he say something to you?”
“He doesn’t have to. I know. Luka can’t be in love with me because…” Tears pricked my eyes, but I was damned if I would let them fall. No more, no more. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry because of Luka Georgiades any longer and I was going to do my utmost to keep it.
“Sabina, he’s in love with Emilia Moretti.”
Ah, God of Caros. Why did knowing that hurt so badly, too?
~~~
Having come home on a Friday, I virtually had the entire weekend to rest, recover, and…remember.
Luka didn’t call, not even once.
Was it because he was with the Lyccan princess?
Monday came sooner than later, and I had mixed feelings going to school. A part of me just wanted my old uncomplicated life back. I used to sleep, breathe, and live on my hatred. Now, everything was a jumble. I was a walking mess, my every waking second spent either torturing myself with the past or torturing myself even more with thoughts of the future.
I couldn’t get the image of Luka making love with Emilia Moretti out of my mind, and that was a bad thing. It was very bad now that I knew for a fact I could turn vampire – just like Phillip’s brother, just like the first prince – simply because I selfishly wanted Luka for myself.
Needing some distraction, I took out my phone and checked my Facebook, which was flooded with congratulatory messages for my engagement. It was the same on Twitter and when I checked Instagram, the first bloody thing I saw was a beautiful photo of Emilia Moretti – one she posted herself and tagged to Luka. Two words in handwritten font were pasted on the photo.
Be happy.
I felt like I was sucker-punched with that one, and before I knew it my fingers were moving quickly on my phone’s keypad.
“Caylie?” Luka answered immediately on the first ring. “What’s wrong?”
I was so, so selfish and he was so, so stupid. How could he blow away his chances with the Lyccan princess just to keep me safe?
“Is something wrong?”
“No, I---” There was no easy way to say this so I simply said, “Let’s call the engagement off.” I put the phone down as my heart shattered anew. If I kept up with this, it would be impossible to put the pieces back again.
~~~
I could only stand still when I walked out of school with my friends and saw Luka waiting outside. He looked spectacular in his Brethren uniform – red for blood and gold for power, the two greatest things Caro as a race desired. Luka rarely wore it outside work so that probably meant he had come here in a hurry, taking no time to change.
Caros around me whispered and whispered.
One part of me had wished for him to come while another part wished he would just let it go.
This entire business of being selfless was very fucked up., and I didn’t think I had it in me to be selfless one more time. It just wasn’t my nature. Born and bred a spoiled Caro, die a rotten spoiled Caro, as they said. For our kind, the spoiling could only get worse over time.
Sabina and Ever stopped beside me. “How do you want to play this, Caylie?” Ever asked. She might be the non-confrontational sort, but she was also touchingly loyal and never the one to abandon people in need.
“Just say the word and I won’t let him talk to you,” Sabina told me soberly.
But we weren’t really given a chance to strategize more as Luka clearly lost patience waiting for me to come to him. In seconds, he had closed the distance between us and stood in front me, looking even more intimidating than usual. Luka up close in his Brethren uniform was a sight to behold and even more so now, with the way he did nothing to restrain the aura of his power. It was enough to have my body skin tingle and I had no doubt all the girls within a few meters were feeling the same body-tingling sensation, too.
“Hello, Ever, Sabina.” His manners were faultless, his smile a charming force that even my most loyal friends weren’t immune to.
In the corner of my eye, I saw Sabina nodding reluctantly while a flushed Ever mumbled ‘hi’ back.
The whispers had grown louder. The glares that I got from behind also became sharper, as if the girls no longer cared if I knew they were staring or not. But honestly, I couldn’t blame them. You know how human girls would gush about men in uniform? Well, they would just about die if they ever caught a glimpse of a Caro male in uniform – and especially when it was Luka we were talking about.
He was, in a word, dashing, and he took everyone’s breaths away. Yet for some reason Luka only had eyes for me.
“Caylie---”
I tried to brush him off. “I’m not in the mood for rehabilitation---”
But I forgot that this was Luka, and he wasn’t the type to get brushed off easily. Without missing a beat Luka answered, “That’s great since I’m not here for a rehabilitation session. I thought I would drive you home. Work finished early.”
“My driver---” I began.
“I already sent him back. I hope you didn’t mind my presumptuousness.”
Seeing no way out but to give in gracefully, I smiled stiffly at my friends. “I guess that means I have to take a rain check on our coffee date tonight.”
Ever’s gaze was concerned when she sought mine. “Call us,” she said.
“Of course.”
Inside the car, I expected Luka to immediately launch into question mode but instead he made do with small talk, which only rubbed me the wrong way. But when we got home and reached my bedroom, Luka slammed the door shut with more force than was necessary.
I spun around just in time to see Luka stalking towards me.
Shit.
“What the hell was that about, Caylie?”
“You know what this is about.”
“The only thing I know is that you’re displaying a strong reluctance to posing as my betrothed.” Before I could say anything, Luka asked, “Does it bother you that much?”
Now he was the one who lost me. “I’m not the one who has a problem---”
“The fuck you’re not,” Luka snapped.
I reared back, stunned to hear Luka curse first and without any apparent reason. “Luka, why are you so mad?”
“Because I thought you were better,” he confided with audible self-contempt. “You’re breaking our engagement because you’ve realized you can’t bear the thought of everyone thinking you’re about to marry a half-human mongrel---”
Oh God of Caros, how could he be so blind? “I’m breaking off the engagement because I want you to be happy, too!”
Luka broke off at my hiss before roaring back, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m not as selfish or as shallow as you and everyone seem to think,” I spat. “I want you to be happy, too. I really want that and I know you can’t be happy if the girl you love thinks you’re really marrying someone else.”
“The girl I love,” he repeated almost dumbly.
I snarled, “Do you want me to spell it out more clearly? Emilia Moretti then. Does it ring any bells now?”
Luka appeared speechless. I watched him take off his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose as if he was in danger of having an aneurysm bursting on him.
All I had to do was close my eyes and I could easily recall the princess’ photo with those two words. Be happy. Fuck her. I meant it. Fuck her. Did she think I didn’t want Luka to be happy as well? He had ruined my life, but I just couldn’t find it in me to hate him anymore. So why the hell she thought she had the right to make me feel guilty, I had no fucking idea. That Emilia Moretti didn’t do or say anything to make me think she wanted me to feel guilty didn’t matter. I just felt it in my guts and so really – fuck her.
Trying to keep my voice level, I started, “I don’t want you to sacrifice---”
“Stop.”
I shut up.
“I’m really glad that you thought about it.”
Funny, but he didn’t sound glad. In fact, he looked very much…moody. Angry and sad or so
mething in between.
“But it’s not necessary.”
“It is---”
“I promise you, Caylie, it’s not.” His lips twisted. “The girl I love will not notice me. I don’t think she ever will.”
My heart broke for him even as a part of me rejoiced, the part of me that still hated him a little bit and would forever do so. This part of me was glad that karma was a bitch that made no distinction of races, its poison as venomous to Caros as it was to humans, shapeshifters and what not. “But Luka---”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. So just let this nonsense about a broken engagement go, all right?” His voice was hard, leaving no room for argument.
I turned away, not wanting him to see how I felt about his decision, but this was Luka, and he knew me inside and out. It was, after all, the same reason why he was able to hurt me so badly. He knew what knife to twist – and where and how.
He spun me around, forcing me to meet his eyes, which were hooded and unfathomable. “Spill it,” he growled. “I can hear you thinking---”
“Why?” I burst out in a furious whisper. “What does she have that I don’t? Why would you throw me away when I never…and why…how can you love someone who doesn’t even care you exist? How can you fucking love someone so…dense?” I was trying to be polite, but my tone nevertheless implied my real meaning.
An unexpected glint of humor flashed in Luka’s violet eyes. “I have no idea either.”
I gritted my teeth. “This isn’t something to laugh---”
The smile in his eyes died, and I caught my breath because for a moment there I saw something so heartbreakingly beautiful I almost wished…it was for me.
“Just let this one ago, Caylie. Do us both a favor and just forget about…Emilia and me…and never say you’ll end our betrothal again.”
I forced myself to nod, knowing by the look on Luka’s face that he wasn’t going to leave without my promise.
A smile slightly softened the cruel lines of Luka’s face at my nod, and he reached out to me, cupping my face as he lowered his head. That should have clued me in, but I was still stunned to feel Luka’s lips closing over mine. He never was the first to touch me, to kiss me, to do any of these first to me in the past.
But Luka was already pulling away before I could even react. “I have to go.”
The regret in his voice was unmistakable but somehow I had trouble believing it. There was this sense of discordance in me that buzzed relentlessly, telling me something was wrong. “Are you going back to the Brethren?” I asked casually.
Luka hesitated a split second before answering. “Yes.”
I stepped back, blood turning cold. “Don’t lie, Luka. Don’t – just don’t lie, not now.” Jaw hard, I asked again, tightly this time, “Where are you going?”
“To the Morettis.”
Sucker-punched, and it was the second time for the day.
Chapter Eleven
My third phase for rehabilitation commenced the next night, with Luka taking me to dinner in a human establishment. The silence between us was strained at best. We haven’t yet spoken since he left me for Emilia Moretti.
When the image of the princess popped in my head, my foot slipped as I accidentally-or-unconsciously kicked Luka from behind, who was speaking with the head of my protection team from the Brethren.
Luka’s head whipped back in surprise. “Caylie?”
I smiled sweetly. “An accident.”
His eyes narrowed, telling me silently that he so didn’t think so.
I upped the sweetness of my smile by a notch, silently answering that I didn’t give a fuck.
Luka turned his back on me again, and I took my time studying his profile. He was still the most beautiful creature alive in my eyes. His ice blond hair always looked soft and shiny even though I knew for a fact that Luka didn’t even comb his regularly. Again he was wearing a suit and tie, and he carried it off like no nineteen-year-old had a right to. Clothes may make a man, but not for Caros and especially not for someone as impeccably put together as Luka.
“Always watch the perimeter,” I heard Luka murmur as he arranged his cuff links.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Check for red rims around the eyes,” Luka reminded them. “I know you’ve all trained to detect vampire threats but as we get better, our enemies may have gotten better and evolved, too, so we must never be complacent.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” the Brethren soldiers affirmed in unison. The respect in their voice was unmistakable. Remarkable, too, since most of them were years older than Luka.
Luka flashed them a brief but sincere smile. “Thank you for your loyalty and hard work.”
They saluted before disappearing into the night.
And then Luka turned around, so suddenly he caught me staring.
Flustered, I quickly pulled my gaze away and fumbled for my phone in my purse. “There’s no reception here,” I muttered. It was the first thing that occurred to me to say, anything to keep Luka from remarking at the fact that I had been looking at him like a lovesick puppy. “You deliberately chose a restaurant with bad reception, didn’t you?”
Luka didn’t even have the grace to be embarrassed. “Naturally. There are many human traits that are impressive, but tweeting and posting selfies---” Luka’s upper lip curled at the word. “---isn’t one of them.”
I had to laugh, and somehow that chipped away the discomfort between us and I was smiling more naturally when I took the arm he offered, curling mine around his. We entered the restaurant slowly, our pace deliberately mimicking the pace of humans. Being around humans was most times amusing, but it was always tiring because we could never ever let our guards down. The smallest slip could end peace for our race, and this was a fact hammered into us over and over since we were kids.
When I took off my coat to hand it to Luka, I heard him inhale sharply from behind. I hid a smile, knowing very well how he was feeling now. The gown I wore tonight was my most risqué, something I patterned after the gown Gwyneth Paltrow famously wore to the premier for the third Iron Man movie. It was beautiful front and back, a delicate concoction of gold silk and lace, but the sides were made completely of sheer translucent fabric, making it necessary not to wear any underwear.
“You little minx,” Luka whispered when I turned around.
His violet eyes were wild and bright with desire, so blinding that I feared humans would still be mesmerized even with his glasses on.
I immediately went to him and in the pretext of kissing him on the cheek, continental style, I whispered, “Your eyes, Luka. They’re too bright.”
His hands suddenly spanned my hips, and a small gasp escaped me. “It’s your fault,” he hissed under his breath. As he returned my kiss, but his lips landing dangerously close to the corner of my lips this time, he gritted out, “Dressing like that in a fucking public place---what the hell are you thinking?”
That I didn’t want to share him? It had been the uppermost thought in my mind when I chose my outfit. So I was fucking selfish, wanting Luka to be all mine even if he was in love with someone else. So be it. He was just as selfish, with the way he continuously messed me up, looking at me like he wanted my body like he had never wanted anything in his life but all the while courting the Lyccan princess.
“I want to drive you mad,” I said finally.
“Congratulations,” Luka snarled quietly. “You already had.”
I shivered at how desire thickened his words, thrilling to the way he didn’t bother to hide how much he wanted me.
And then he was whirling me around, cupping my elbow as he led me past gawking patrons to the cloak room. My eyes widened. “Luka---”
The look he sent me was feral, and I shut up even as my heartbeat escalated. When we reached the end of the hall, I realized where he was taking me and I looked at him in disbelief. “Luka---”
“Get in or I’ll carry you in,” Luka growled as he opened the door to the powder ro
om.
I stepped in.
The door slammed shut.
And then he was on me, his lips on mine, and whatever reservations I had instantly burnt to ashes as Luka’s passion sparked mine.
I moaned when Luka lifted me up in a rough move, and I twisted my legs around him as he pushed me against the wall. “Luka,” I gasped as his lips trailed down my neck, sucking on the pulse.
“Luka, no. The Brethren would know.” It was one thing to bite me on my breast but it was another thing entirely to drink from my pulse.
Luka cursed, but he reluctantly let go of my pulse, lips trailing down. “Never wear this gown again.” And then he tore it into halves.
I shrieked in surprise. “Luka---mmph!” He was kissing me again, tongue snaking in and possessing me, leaving me incapable of thinking, much less speaking.
Luka’s hands shaped my breasts as we kissed, squeezing them so tightly the pleasure was agonizing. And when he started playing with my nipples, twisting them hard and pulling them as if wanting them to be at their longest, I moaned, loudly, once again uncaring of who would hear me.
“Quiet.” His voice was sharp, but I could also sense the satisfaction in his voice. He loved the fact that he could make me moan.
And so I moaned, louder, and Luka groaned, taking my lips for another kiss to shut up but at the same time grinding his rock hard erection against my bare folds.
My eyes dilated at the contact. “Luka,” I gasped against his lips, my arms tightening around his back while I tried to squeeze him harder between my legs.
“Shit. Don’t…” He cursed in our language as I rubbed myself wildly against him, trying to find a way to get the pleasure I knew only Luka could bring me.
His fingers clamped around my ass. “Stop moving,” he commanded.
I went still, the authority in his voice just turning me on even more.
He gripped my hair. “This body will only and always be mine, Caylie. Do you understand?”