Donna struggles to sit up.
‘Save your strength. The doctor will be here in a moment.’
Donna hears the door swing open and watches a shadow walk into the room.
‘Donna. You gave us all quite a scare. How are you feeling?’ a female voice asks.
‘I want to sit up.’
‘I’ll ask a nurse to bring you some extra pillows in a moment. Donna, do you feel any pain?’
‘No.’
‘Your burns were extensive, but they are healing. We don’t quite understand why yet, but you seem to be shedding the scar tissue.’
Donna lifts her hand to her cheek again and feels a patch of smooth skin. ‘Is that normal?’
‘No, it isn’t, but it’s wonderful news,’ the doctor answers.
‘What does it mean?’ Donna’s mother asks.
‘It means she may need little or no skin grafts. Only time will tell,’ the doctor says, bending across to take a closer look at Donna’s face.
‘Can I have a mirror?’ Donna asks.
The doctor looks across at her mother. They share a pregnant silence then her mother sighs.
‘Maybe tomorrow.’ The doctor stands up and looks down at Donna. ‘You’re doing really well. I’ll come back later. The nurse will bring some extra pillows so you can sit up for a while.’
Donna nods.
‘Thank you, Doctor,’ her mother says for her.
‘Hi Mum,’ Donna says with a smile.
‘Hi Baby,’ she replies kissing her daughter’s forehead. ‘Welcome back.’
‘Here we are.’ A nurse carrying two pillows bustles into the room. ‘It’s good to see you awake at last, Donna.’
Donna tries to push herself up, but the nurse shakes her head. ‘Let me.’ She presses a button and the bed tilts upwards. Gently, she pushes Donna forward and places a pillow behind the small of her back. ‘Better?’
‘Thank you,’ Donna’s voice is stronger now she’s upright, and the light no longer hurts her eyes.
Her mother is crying.
‘What’s wrong, Mum?’
‘It’s nothing, Donna. I’m just glad you’re okay.’
‘This will sound crazy, but Satori healed me.’
‘Satori?’
‘Steve, my friend.’ Donna smiles. Friend.
‘The one who’s been arrested?’ her mother asks.
‘Arrested? What for?’
‘It’s not important right now. You need to get well. Would you like to rest?’
‘I’ve been sleeping, Mum. What’s he been arrested for?’
‘Murder.’ Her mother looks away.
‘No! It isn’t possible. Who?’
Her mother doesn’t answer.
‘Not Sarah?’ Donna puts her hand over her mouth.
Her mother lowers her head. Was that a nod?
‘But it isn’t true. Sarah killed herself. Steve is trying to save her, Mum. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve been there. I’ve seen him.’
Her mother lifts her head and Donna sees darkness in her eyes. ‘You were just dreaming, sweetheart. None of that is real.’
Donna nods her head. Dreaming. She knows it wasn’t a dream, but she can see no way of helping Steve. No one would believe her, not even her own mother, just as she hadn’t believed Sarah when she was told about the demon. Magic is real. It’s all around us yet no one believes it’s there. The futility of this knowledge crushes her.
‘I’m sorry, Donna. You’ve been through so much. I wish there was some way I could help you.’
Donna swallows back her tears. ‘I’m fine, Mum. Maybe I am a little tired though.’
‘Sleep, baby. I’ll be here. I’ll always be here for you.’
***
‘She’s sleeping. Can’t you come back later?’ Donna’s mother asks.
Donna opens her eyes and the room slowly swims into focus.
‘Hi Donna. How are you doing? I’m Detective Sergeant Cummings. I wonder whether you might be able to tell us a little about two of your friends: Steve Michaels and Sarah Brown?’
Donna stares at the detective, trying to make sense of her words.
‘I’m sorry. I know this must be hard for you and I don’t want to take up too much of your time, but it’s important that we build a picture of what happened. We’ve arrested Mr Michaels…’
‘Steve?’
‘Yes, sorry. We’ve arrested Steve because we believe he killed your friend, Sarah. Do you know why he might have done that?’
‘He didn’t kill her. She killed herself,’ Donna says.
‘Why do you say that? How can you be sure?’ D.S. Cummins asks.
‘She killed herself because she couldn’t live with what happened with Raven. If you knew her, you would know that.’
‘Does Freya know her?’ the Detective Sergeant asks.
‘A little, but not as well as I do,’ Donna says.
‘You were close then?’
‘She was my best friend and I loved her.’ Donna wipes a tear from her eye.
‘Then you must want to punish the man who took her from you,’ D.S. Cummins says.
‘It wasn’t a man who took her. It was Lilith.’
‘We keep hearing about Lilith, but no one can tell us much about her. How well did you know her?’ D.S. Cummins asks.
‘I only met her for a few minutes, on the night Sarah left with her. She’s tall, about five foot eleven I’d say and slim. She has long black hair and green eyes and her skin is very pale,’ Donna replies.
‘Did Sarah ever talk about her?’
‘No. I wanted her to tell me, but she was too tired. The next morning she left before I woke up. I saw them together again on the night Raven was killed. Sarah went up to the bathroom. Raven followed her and then…I watched Lilith follow her.’
‘Who killed Raven?’
‘I can’t be sure, but I think it was Lilith. Sarah just wasn’t the violent type,’ Donna says.
‘But Raven had slept with Steve. Do you think Sarah was jealous?’ D.S. Cummins asks.
‘No. She would have been glad. She’d moved on.’
‘Moved on to Lilith?’
Donna nods.
‘But if Lilith killed Raven, why did Sarah kill herself?’ D.S. Cummins asks.
‘Because she wanted to die.’
‘Tell me why she wanted to die.’ Michelle Cummins stares into Donna’s eyes as if trying to discover an elusive truth.
‘She thought it would mean the end of her pain,’ Donna answers.
‘Pain?’
‘You searched her room. You took the razor blades. Do you need me to spell it out for you? Sarah is, was not a happy person. Her parents hated her and she hated herself.’
‘You really believe she did that to herself?’
‘Yes I do,’ Donna says.
‘We found Mr Michaels’, Steve’s, things in her grave. She didn’t do that.’
‘I expect he buried her,’ Donna says.
‘Why would he do that?’
‘He loved her, and anyway, Steve doesn’t think in the same way normal people do. He’s different.’
‘In what way?’ D.S. Cummins asks.
‘He’s trying to save her now.’
‘Who?’
‘Sarah,’ Donna says.
‘But she’s dead.’
‘Exactly.’
The detective creases her brow. She looks as though she is trying to understand, but simply cannot grasp the meaning behind Donna’s words. As the woman’s face relaxes again Donna’s heart falls. She knows the detective has given up trying. Donna’s words will be dismissed as nonsense and Steve will be condemned.
Chapter 46
‘What’s your name?’ Sarah asks.
The wyrm does not open its jaws but its reply shudders around Sarah’s mind. ‘Siloth.’
‘Hello, Siloth,’ she says.
The serpent moves slightly as if nodding. Its teeth scrape against Sarah’s skin then it releases the pressure a little.
The toad bone in Star’s mind vibrates. She focuses on it for a moment.
‘What is your purpose?’ Sarah asks.
The bone shakes. She feels her mind expand beyond the confines of her skull. It washes over her body and steps into the dark cavern of the snake’s head.
Inside is an apple. Curled around the stem is a vibrant green adder.
‘Siloth,’ she says.
The snake raises its head and looks at her. Its tongue licks the air between them. It bows its sharp face then raises it again. Its eyes flick open and shut.
‘Do you know me?’ she asks.
‘I know you,’ it replies. ‘You are the lover of my queen and the mother of her child.’
‘Why does she fear me, Siloth?’
‘She doesn’t understand you. Unlike the rest of her world you are not bound to your robe of concealment, your flesh. Your mind wanders. Now you are within my mind even as my jaws surround your body, and you are the bringer of light.’
‘Light?’ Sarah asks.
‘The sun emanates from you,’ Siloth answers.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know and neither does Lilith. You are an enigma, Star.’
‘You have something stuck in your throat. What is it?’ Sarah asks.
‘A blade. A girl thrust it into my flesh.’
‘May I pull it out for you?’
‘That would be wonderful.’ Siloth hisses and his eyes flash.
‘I will need your help,’ she says.
‘Turn around. I’ll lift you with my tongue.’
‘Thank you, Siloth.’
Sarah returns to her own skull and turns within the cavern of the snake’s mouth, reaching across to the knife.
‘This may hurt,’ she warns.
Her fingers grasp around the jewelled hilt and she pulls a curved blade from the serpent. Gasping, she grips the dagger tighter, frightened that in her confusion she might let it fall and lose it forever.
‘Satori.’ Tears fill her sealed eyes. She floats back to the serpent’s mind. ‘Are you sure it was a girl who stabbed you? Not a man?’
‘Yes, a girl with blonde hair,’ Siloth answers.
‘Is she still alive?’
‘When I left her she was. She met Him. I haven’t seen her since. Perhaps the queen has already transformed her, bound her into new flesh.’
‘Those columns of smoke on the horizon. What are they?’
‘Beginnings of life. Spirits of those yet to be born. So, you can see, even without your eyes. Lilith will not be pleased.’
‘Then don’t tell her,’ Sarah says.
The bone rattles far away within Star’s skull. She feels its echo.
Siloth nods. ‘Very well.’
‘I need to get away from here. Can you help me?’ she asks.
‘I am afraid of my mistress’ wrath,’ the snake answers.
Sarah pauses. Siloth’s body shakes. The toad bone shakes as if in reply.
‘You will help me.’ Sarah demands.
‘What must I do?’ The serpent hisses.
‘I haven’t decided yet. When the time comes I will let you know.’
The snake blinks. ‘Are you waiting for him?’
‘Satori?’
‘Yes. He’s almost here,’ Siloth tells her.
‘How close is he?’
‘Just beyond the veil.’
Satori, perhaps you are a hero after all. ‘Is Lilith afraid of him?’
‘No. She looks forward to his arrival - another pet.’
‘So I am bait?’ Sarah asks.
‘No Star. You are far more than that?’
‘What am I?’
‘You are the sun and the mother,’ Siloth answers.
‘The son?’ Sarah tries to understand the riddle.
‘The sun and moon were once equal. God debased the moon. It became only a reflector of light. That is when Lilith and Samael fell to earth.’ Siloth speaks as though reciting a tale learned in childhood.
‘Is Lilith my reflection?’ Sarah asks.
‘She does not know and neither do I. Man creates god is his own image.’
‘She and I are different,’ she says.
‘Perhaps.’
‘Definitely. She kills without remorse. She enslaves without pity,’ Sarah says.
‘And you feel remorse and pity?’ Siloth asks.
Sarah swallows. She thinks of Raven and Satori, one dead the other enslaved. ‘Yes.’
Chapter 47
Satori stares at the blood on his hands. Donna’s body vanished before it hit the floor but the earthy smell of her blood fills him. His eyes scour the landscape for water as his tears fall onto his hands. Not enough to wash her blood away. These hands will the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the green one red. I will never be clean. I shall never feel pure again.
He rubs his hands in the earth and dirt mixes with Donna’s blood. A layer of filth covers his hands. He looks towards the crowd of peasants huddled together within their bondage, their eyes still full of fear. Shaking his head, he turns away.
Satori wanders, stumbling as he progresses, careless of his path. His chest feels tight and his throat full of broken glass. His hands drag at his sides. I am evil. I have no purpose other than destruction. Reptilian fingers squeeze his throat. He recognises its touch from the pool: his true reflection. But I changed. How can this greedy child still be my master? He looks within himself and sees its infantile grin. Changing my reflection is not a single transaction but a journey of vigilance against the darkness in my soul, but I am not evil. I have a purpose - Star.
‘Where are you?’ he asks the horizon.
A trace of golden light stains the sky ahead. He stretches his legs and quickens his pace towards its source. As he gets closer his steps slow. His eyes adjust to the horror. It is worse than the killing field he left behind: an ocean of blood. He looks at his hands and remembers again Lady Macbeth’s words: making the green one red.
Shaking, he steps closer to the shore.
The sounds of the waves are wails of despair. They crash against his soul. He feels their pain. Anguish fills him and he wrings his tainted hands. Falling to his knees, he is thankful that Donna never reached this spot. The suffering is like a knife twisting in his chest. Visions of Star’s tear-drenched face and the echo of her words rip through his mind. “I have to go. I cannot stay. When I am with you, I hate who I become.”
Guilt for each pain he inflicted, from the moment he tore free from his mother’s womb until the second he sliced into Donna’s beating heart with the King’s blade, weighs down upon his skull. It is too much to endure. The sea tempts him with thoughts of oblivion. To slide into its depths and lose all consciousness is the only way forward.
‘Forwards is not the only way to travel.’ The words push through his pain and a bright light fills him.
He is warmed by an internal sun. ‘Star,’ he whispers. ‘How many times have you saved me from myself?’
The wails of suffering become a low hum. Its source is a lump in Satori’s throat that he cannot swallow, but can only endure. This is the sea I must cross and Star awaits me on the other side.
He dips his fingers into the water and jumps back in shock. Colder than the grave. Colder than love. Colder than malice. His left palm itches and he lifts it to his face. Part of the grime has been removed by the water. The remaining stain makes a pattern across his hand, its lines and curves intricate - a third letter. He stares at the design committing it to memory. Combining it with its predecessors, he creates new words to be spoken. He kneels in contemplation for minutes or hours. Words swirl around his mind. Power radiates from his cranium. His face flushes as red as the sea before him.
But I still need to reach her. He looks up from his hand at the ocean. How can I cross? His eyes search the shoreline but he can see no boat. He considers metamorphosis, using the elements and adapting himself to them. He could become a fish and swim through the icy waters. He could grow wings and soar above
them to the distant shore. A nagging thought that he must cross as a man persuades him not to try.
He could return to the King, assuming he can find him again, and ask for a boat to carry him across. Perhaps that is what Star meant by not always travelling forwards? Satori turns and takes a step away from the sea and from Star. His body shakes and he falls to the ground. He holds his head in agony, afraid that his skull may split in two. Hooks tear at his flesh. They tug him back towards the water. His scream of pain and frustration tears through the air.
As he turns to face the water his pain subsides. He draws his knees to his chest and sits, rocking. What now? I cannot have come this far to fail.
***
‘He’s catatonic, completely unresponsive. Who knows how long it will be before you can interview him again.’
‘Can you give him anything to wake him up, doctor?’
Satori looks at the room around him. His pupils shrivel under the glare of a fluorescent lamp.
‘I think we have a response. He might be coming around, but I’ll need to do some tests before you can interview him again.’
‘It might be best if we contact his lawyer, Sir. Withholding this might not aid our case.’ D.S. Cummins speaks softly.
‘You’re right Detective Sergeant. Phone Ms Wilson.’
D.I. Long stands silently as D.S. Cummins leaves the room. When the door closes he speaks again. ‘Do you think he can hear us, doctor?’
‘Can you hear me, Mr Michaels?’ The doctor asks.
Satori nods.
‘Was he faking?’ D.I. Long asks.
‘That’s not possible, Detective Inspector. His vital signs would have given him away,’ the doctor replies.
‘I need to speak to him again. How long will your tests take?’
‘Not long. I’ll give him a sedative to calm him.’
D.I. Long reaches out to touch the doctor’s shoulder. ‘No! We can’t interview him while he’s drugged.’
Satori shakes his head. ‘No.’ His voice croaks like a toad. ‘I’m fine. I don’t need to be drugged.’
‘I’d like permission to sit in on the interview, in case there’s a recurrence,’ the doctor says.
‘Can you take the light from my eyes, please?’ Satori asks.
With a click the light is extinguished and Satori can see the doctor and D.I. Long by the diffused light above their heads.
Starblood Trilogy Page 44