‘You’re alright and nought’s stolen. Don’t stress it. All will be forgiven.’
‘Hey, it’s me, Kevin…yeah…yeah I found him…Garlow there? ... Good morning, sir. Yep I’ve got him here. Says he did two deliveries and he has an envelope for you here…Says he was attacked…Yeah, he’s got a golf ball on his forehead. Looks like someone took a piece out of him…yeah, it’s okay. I’ve seen it. The envelope’s here…Okay…Yeah, we can make it in ten.’
‘Right, Mark,’ Kevin says moving his phone from his ear. ‘We’d better get a move on. Boss wants to see you.’
When they arrive at the bar, Garlow sits in the same corner as before. Mark goes to approach him, but Kevin grabs the sleeve of his jacket and jerks him back. ‘Wait.’
Mark shakes his arm free of Kevin’s grip. ‘For what?’
‘To be invited, you ill-mannered twat.’
Mark shuffles about impatiently, but waits beside Kevin until Garlow beckons them over.
‘Hey, kid. We thought you went AWOL.’
‘No, sir. Sorry. I did the first delivery. The woman, she gave me two envelopes and an address. I dropped the first off, no bother, but then it all went weird. I’m sorry, Mr Garlow.’
‘Kevin says you got knocked out.’
Mark nods and pushes his hair back from his forehead.
Garlow inhales noisily. ‘Looks nasty, kid. You feeling okay?’
‘I’m fine.’ Mark frowns. He wonders how much time he will have to waste here.
Garlow smiles. ‘Kev’s right. You are a tough one.’
‘I’ve got the envelope for you.’ Mark passes it to Garlow.
Garlow takes it, studies the envelope and writing then tears it open. He glances at the photograph, nods and places it back in the envelope and on the table.
Mark is desperate to ask what it means, but remains silent, studying the man’s calm face. ‘Sir?’
‘Yes, kid.’
‘I’ve found someone who knows where my mum is.’
‘Is that right?’
Mark nods.
‘Is that how you got that bruise?’
Mark nods again. ‘I’m kinda eager to go back there, if you know what I mean. I don’t want to be rude, Mr Garlow, but do you think we’re finished here?’
‘No worries, kid. Take Kevin and Simon. They’ll get the information for you.’
‘That’s not necessary, sir. I just wanted to let you know I won’t be back.’
Garlow creases his brow and frowns. ‘What do you mean, you won’t be back?’
‘I’m gonna find my mum.’ Mark feels weighed down by Garlow’s scrutiny. He fidgets again.
‘Hang on, kid.’
‘Yes, sir?’
‘Take Kevin and Simon.’
Mark shakes his head. ‘I don’t need…’
‘I’m giving you time to find your Ma, but this isn’t goodbye.’
Mark grits his teeth. ‘I did what you wanted. I followed your instructions. It’s time to let me go.’
Garlow laughs.
Mark turns to walk away. Bristling with the threat of violence, Kevin blocks his way. Mark looks around the room. Everyone is standing, watching. He turns to face Garlow. ‘What do you want?’
Garlow picks up a beer mat from the table and taps its edge against the wood. He studies Mark’s face, staring at his green eyes as if deep in thought. ‘I’ve taken an interest in you, kid. You intrigue me. I only want the best for you. You must understand that. Take Kevin and Simon with you to see this man.’
Mark sighs. ‘Thank you, Mr Garlow.’
‘Just remember you owe me big time for this, kid.’
Mark nods.
‘Kevin,’ Garlow calls.
‘Yes, Mr Garlow.’
‘Take Simon and go with the kid. There’s someone who needs to be convinced to talk.’
‘No problem.’ Kevin nods at Mark. ‘You ready to go?’
‘Yes,’ Mark replies. ‘I’m ready.’ Are you?
Chapter 45
The spectres change again. This time they rise above Satori, a serpent with three heads and three gaping, vicious jaws. Their fangs drip venom as they prepare to strike. Satori lifts his arms above his head to protect himself from their attack. The heads descend, flashing through the air towards him. His knees give way and he falls to the ground, weeping. His hands flail above him trying to ward off the horror.
Something touches his shoulder. It isn’t the strike of attack but a gentle and affectionate pat. He looks up. Mark stands in front of him, smiling.
‘Come on.’ Mark extends his hand towards the whimpering ball that is Satori.
Satori grasps his hand and allows the boy to pull him to his feet. He stands unsteadily looking at the teenager. Remnants of breast milk glisten on Mark’s chin. ‘Is it you?’
Mark doesn’t answer.
Satori stares at Mark’s nakedness. He has a wiry strength and his body is beautifully toned, almost sculpted in places, far stronger than Satori feels any teenage body has the right to look. He feels aroused again, but banishes the feeling. I am holding the hand of a child not a man, he reminds himself.
Mark leads Satori away from the spectres. When they try to follow Mark growls at them and they shrink back as if in fear. Satori studies the boy’s face. Mark’s jaw is fixed with determination, but his lips are soft and generous; his skin has a warm olive glow and his eyes are the brightest green Satori has ever seen. They shine with an intense beauty. They remind him of Lilith.
Hand in hand, Mark and Satori walk towards a low archway. Both have to bend a little to pass safely through. As Satori’s head and shoulders enter an anti-chamber he hears the whoosh of a bird in flight. Black wings beat against his face. He waves his free arm to scare the raven away. The bird is as large as a cat with a vicious looking beak. It squawks at Satori and flies out of reach.
‘She’s waiting for you.’ Mark squeezes then releases Satori’s hand.
Mark steps toward a sleeping woman. She rests upon an outcrop of rock. The curves of her body strain through a black chiffon dress. Ebony hair rests, like a veil, obscuring her face. Satori knows that body, those generous breasts and hips. He has kissed them, held them and admired them, a long time ago, before she died.
‘Raven.’ Satori strokes her hair and pulls it gently away from her face. Her eyes are closed but her mouth hangs wide open. Her jaw smashed, bloody and bruised from the violence which killed her four years ago. He turns away and searches Mark’s face for an answer.
‘You need to wake her with your wand. To wake the dead, the magician must place a wand inside the corpse’s mouth.’
Satori shakes his head. ‘I don’t have a wand.’ He faces Raven again and stares, mesmerised by her fearful mouth.
Mark’s voice is faint. ‘You have the one you used to summon Lilith.’
Angry hisses fill the room. Satori turns around. Mark has vanished and where he stood moments before, two snakes writhe on the ground. Their bodies are intertwined. One is white, the other black. Satori backs away. His hand touches the ledge on which Raven rests, waiting for him to wake her. The snakes rear up. He has no weapons, but he knows he must get rid of them. Edging away, he looks around the room for something, anything he could use to frighten the serpents. There is nothing.
He looks at his trembling hands and focuses on his pale skin. Black letters rise across his skin like a tattoo. The black letters he used in Binah to kill the wyrm. The terrible wailing and the stench of burning flesh from that wyrm echoes through his mind as the two snakes move towards him. I have no choice. He opens his eyes and utters the magical sounds, directing the power in his fingertips towards the snakes. Lightning rips through the air and pins the snakes to the ground. He watches as they jerk and twist in pain. Their scales melt and meld together, becoming one mass of disintegrating puss. Satori holds his ears to shield himself from the sounds of their agony. He pulls back the lightning and, for a moment, the melted horror that had once been two snakes lies motionless. With a blindi
ng flash it implodes and a pebble of black glass, no larger than the palm of Satori’s hand, clatters to the floor.
Satori looks back at Raven and his body shakes with energy and fear. What did I use to summon Lilith? He had summoned the goddess twice, once to his bedroom to negotiate Star’s release and once into Chaos, but he does not remember a wand. The first time replays in his head.
I stood within a circle and called “Lilith, succubus, serpent, temptress of Eve, first wife of Adam, dark mother.” I jerked off. As I called to her I used my semen as a tribute and she came. My hand clutched my penis and I rubbed it back and forth as I called to her… My cock is my wand.
He stares at Raven’s grotesque mouth. Her lips are drawn back exposing blood covered teeth on one side and on the other stumps where teeth were severed from their roots. Her jaw is a strange triangle, almost normal on one side, stretching into a wide leer on the other where upper and lower jaw are smashed and hang disconnected from her skull. Satori shudders at the thought of what he must do if he wishes to wake her then wonders whether he should wake her at all.
‘We could have been good together if I had only seen it earlier, Raven. I remember how you flirted with me when we first met. How bold and dominant you seemed. I never saw past the paint and armour. I never knew, until the moment Star left with Lilith and I slept beside your cooling body, that I could love you. Even then I was so wrapped up in my obsession for Star I chased her and left you behind. I’m sorry, Raven. I should have been better for you. Maybe then we would both be happy. To wake you I must place my wand, fuck it let’s be honest here, my cock in your mouth, but I’m scared, Raven.’
She does not respond. He tries to see beyond her wounds, but his eyes are drawn back to her crushed cheek and smashed jaw. ‘I don’t think I can do this.’
He tries to place his lips on hers to wake her with a fairy tale kiss. The congealed blood in her mouth smells sour and rotten. His stomach churns and forces him away. He paces up and down the room like an expectant father, deathly afraid and excited about the prospect of new life. Coward! You owe this to her. Stick it in her fucking mouth. You weren’t too proud to do that before.
He bends down to pick up the glass pebble from the floor. He turns it over again and again. There is something inside. It looks at first like a fault line, but it twists and moves as he watches. He tries to think back to all his readings. What does it mean? Is the stone important? Can it help me?
‘It can’t help you, but it can help her, afterwards.’
Satori turns and sees Mark leaning against the archway. The boy’s grin looks treacherous.
‘I thought you had gone?’
‘I came back. It looks like you need my help.’
‘Are you really Mark?’ Satori asks.
‘Are you really Satori?’ Mark replies.
Satori shrugs and blushes. ‘I don’t know.’
Mark nods. ‘So what are you going to do about our sleeping beauty?’
‘I don’t know that either. I think I’m supposed to put my dick in her mouth, but…’
‘But what?’
‘I don’t think I can.’
Mark laughs. ‘A man of the world like you, Satori? Tut tut.’
Satori shakes. ‘Have you seen her face? Have you smelt her breath?’
‘And whose fault is that?’
Satori sighs. ‘Star’s.’
Mark shakes his head.
Satori inhales. ‘Lilith’s.’
‘Try again.’
‘Mine. Yes, everything that has happened has happened because of me and my selfish obsession. It has cost me everything.’
‘It cost you less than it cost her.’ Mark points at Raven’s corpse.
Satori sighs again. ‘Okay, I’ll do it, but please…don’t watch me.’
‘I’ll be outside if you need me.’ Mark ducks through the archway into the huge chamber beyond.
‘Raven…’ Satori sighs. He stares at her broken face. ‘Oh god, I’m sorry… W-what I’m about to do…’ He shakes his head. ‘I can’t. It feels wrong, even by my standards, but I guess it’s what I’m supposed to do, what I have to do, if either of us is going to get out of here.’
He unzips his trousers and pulls out his flaccid penis. It tries to hide among his pubes, but he finds it and drags it into the stagnant air of the tomb. ‘I guess you don’t have to be hard for this,’ he says.
Gently he turns Raven’s head so she faces him. Her face looks more terrifying than ever. There is a chasm where her ear used to be. He wipes his fingers on his jeans and tries to control his nausea. He holds his penis between forefinger and thumb and directs it towards Raven’s gaping mouth. Swallowing hard, he bends his knees and shuffles forwards until he holds that small yet dominant part of himself between her withered lips.
She opens her eyes.
He jumps back, startled, pushing himself back into his jeans and zipping them. ‘Raven.’
‘Satori.’ As she speaks Satori watches her wounds heal. Her mouth reforms into the same soft and generous lips that had often smiled at him. Her cheek bone reknits and fills her perfectly pale face. She pushes herself upwards and sits looking at him. ‘How?’
‘Magic,’ he answers.
She smiles.
‘I believe you might need this.’ He passes the black pebble to her.
‘Yes.’ She swallows the stone. Her throat swells for a moment as it is forced downwards then she looks normal again, beautiful.
She stands up and takes Satori’s hand in hers. ‘Let’s go home.’
A single step takes them back to the spare room in Paul’s house. Satori lies above the covers while he watches Raven move around the room. He frowns. ‘You’re fading,’ he says.
Raven’s skin and hair, even her dress becomes translucent. She becomes a part of the air. A narrow halo of light traces the edges of her body. She looks at her arms and shrugs. ‘I’m not real. I’m still dead.’
‘What was all that for, then?’ he asks.
She steps towards him and strokes his face. Her fingers are deliciously cool. He reaches for her hand and draws it to his mouth, kissing each finger in turn.
‘This is what it’s for,’ she answers. ‘Now we can be together, as we always should have been.’
She slides beside him on the single bed and wraps her arms around his body. Her breasts press against his chest and he feels his penis, so shy before, harden in response.
‘I love you,’ she tells him.
He answers her with a kiss.
Chapter 46
Ivan lifts Star by the waist and carries her to the bedroom. She falls back onto the mattress and laughs. Her arms reach for him and he comes to her.
They kiss again and she spreads her legs. His fingers move against her sex, stroking rubbing, squeezing and flicking her labia and clitoris. She gasps. He uses her moisture to further inflame her desire, teasing her, never probing deeper than the entrance of her vagina.
She clings to him, willing him to penetrate her, yet enjoying every moment of his attention. Her tongue flicks inside his mouth as she grinds herself against his hand. As their passion builds, the noises they make become more frantic.
At last, his fingers plunge deep inside her. She opens her eyes, smiles and gently squeezes his bottom lip between her teeth.
‘Fuck me,’ she whispers.
His hand withdraws. The warm, firm pressure of his cock between her legs makes her gasp again.
‘Yes.’ She sighs.
Then he is inside, pushing deeper, filling her, pulling out and plunging within. Pushing inside her again and again and again, his heartbeat matches hers. Their souls reach to one another, communicating joy, gratitude and a world beyond the confines of earth and physics.
Shuddering, Star screams out in ecstasy. She digs her fingernails into his shoulders and tightens her thighs around his hips. His moans grow more frantic, his eyes roll and sweat washes his brow. He pants and grunts and matches her shudder as he fills her body with
semen.
For a moment they stay there entwined then he kisses her forehead and rolls to one side. She places her cheek on his chest. His heartbeat vibrates against her ear drum. She closes her eyes and, with his arms around her waist, falls into a deep sleep.
The room is dark when she wakes, screaming.
Ivan sits up and holds her shaking body. ‘What is it?’
‘A dream, I think.’ She shakes her head trying to clear the images.
‘What did you dream?’
‘It was horrible. Satori was there. He was frightened and angry. I was…’ She sits, staring at the wall, unable to say any more.
Ivan tries to coax her from her silence. ‘It was just a dream. You can tell me. It might mean something.’
Her breath is ragged. Her arms shake and she wraps them around her. For a moment she is still then her entire body shivers. Tears gather in her eyes as she stares at Ivan. She looks away from him before speaking. ‘I was being fucked. He was watching.’
Ivan loosens his grip on her and shrinks back. ‘Was he watching us?’ He looks around the room as if expecting an audience.
‘Not you. You weren’t there. Two men and a boy, a teenager, I didn’t know any of them. They fucked me while Satori watched.’
‘Shhh, it’s just guilt, about the situation and us and everything. You don’t want to hurt him.’
Star nods. ‘I don’t. I can’t get it out of my head though. It feels too real to be just a guilt induced dream.’
‘Do you want to call him? Make sure he’s okay?’ Ivan asks.
Star shakes her head. ‘No. It’s late. Let’s try to get back to sleep.’
Ivan lies back and Star rests her head on his chest again. She does not close her eyes. Instead she watches his stomach rise and fall. Each time she attempts to push the images of the dream aside they force themselves back into her consciousness. If it is only a dream what is it trying to tell me?
The dark room is like a cave. Maybe it is the cave in the mountains, where Satori tried to bring me back to him as we made love. No, that doesn’t feel right. In the dream Satori watches from afar. He grieves for, and is repulsed by, me. Perhaps the repulsion is my own? It isn’t easy, struggling with these terrible desires. Could the three lovers represent my insatiable sex-drive and Satori powerless to do anything but watch?
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