by T. T. Kove
"I'm glad it's midnight sun," Jørgen said.
Frey looked up at him. "What?"
Jørgen's green eyes locked with his for a moment. "Who knows what might happen if the sun hadn't been up around the clock by now. We would've been stuck out here in the cold and dark, not knowing what waited out there. The poachers, a polar bear. We wouldn't have been able to see where we were walking if it was cloudy—we'd be stuck."
Frey felt a chill go down his spine as he pictured the scenario. If this had happened the last time they'd been out riding, darkness would've fallen by evening.
"Yes," he whispered. "Thankfully it's midnight sun."
Chapter Four
Eventually, they made it to the cabin. Frey was leaning so heavily on Jørgen by the end that Jørgen could just as well have been carrying him. Not that Jørgen minded Frey leaning on him, but if Frey hadn't been injured he never would've done it.
Jørgen got them inside and helped Frey over to the little bed in the corner. Frey lay down with a heavy sigh and his eyes closed. He curled up while Jørgen went to close the door he had left open while helping Frey inside.
The cabin was not in good shape. It was uninhabitable in winter, but it would do for them now as it was spring outside. Still, it would be cold. Frey was already freezing; Jørgen could see him shivering on the bed.
"Hey." He walked over to the little bed, looking down at Frey, who was curled up with his back to him.
Frey opened his eyes to look at Jørgen. He was clearly scared. "How long are we going to have to stay here?" His voice shook the tiniest bit.
"I don't know. A few hours, I hope. It shouldn't take them that long to find us once Karina realises something's wrong."
"I'm so cold," Frey whispered.
"I can warm you," Jørgen offered tentatively. Frey didn't like to be touched and Jørgen didn't want to intimidate him, but it would be warmer for both of them if they lay close.
Frey lay quiet for a moment, then he nodded.
Jørgen tentatively lay down on the bed. He lay on his back so he wouldn't intimidate Frey even more. "I would never hurt you," Jørgen said quietly. "You don't have to be so scared around me."
"I'm not scared of you," Frey whispered. "I know you wouldn't hurt me. You're too kind to do that."
"But?" Jørgen sensed there was quite a big but in there.
"But someone has hurt me." Frey curled up further and his voice lowered even more, if that was even possible. "It's a while ago now, but it's not easy to forget and I don't know if I can... be close to anyone."
Hurt could mean a tremendous lot, but...
"Did someone force themselves on you?"
"Yes." Frey nodded jerkily against the thin, lumpy mattress. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry." Jørgen didn't know what else to say. There wasn't anything to say, really. It had happened to Frey and it was not something Jørgen could do anything about. No matter how much he wanted to. He couldn't stand to think about what some bastard had done to Frey. Gentle, frightened Frey.
Jørgen turned over on his side and tentatively put a hand on Frey's hip. He wasn't sure it was a good idea, but he really wanted to give some kind of comfort. "I really like you, Frey, but I would never... I could never force you to do anything you didn't want to do."
Frey uncurled and turned slowly so that he was lying on his back. His eyes were wide as they looked up at Jørgen. "I know that. You've only been kind to me since we met."
"I like you." Jørgen couldn't help himself, he brought his hand away from Frey's hip to caress lightly across his cheek. "I like you a lot."
Frey's eyes filled with tears, but they didn't fall. "I thought I was getting over it. I'm not comfortable with touching, I never have been, but I thought maybe I was ready to meet someone."
"What happened?" Jørgen asked quietly.
"A patient attacked me in the A&E one night. He pinned me down and I panicked. He wasn't even trying to do that; he was just high and hallucinating and had to get out of the emergency room. But he touched me and he hurt me and I panicked. Svalbard was supposed to be safe. No crime, only two thousand people. I didn't think I'd meet you."
Jørgen didn't know if he should be flattered or offended at the way Frey spoke about him. He wasn't sure even Frey knew what to feel about it. "I'm sorry," he just said, again stroking lightly across Frey's cheek.
Frey turned slightly over so that he was now facing Jørgen. "I want to be able to give you what you want."
Jørgen blinked in confusion. "What I want?"
"You're a man," Frey muttered. "Every bloke wants sex, right?"
"Aren't you a man?"
Frey frowned. "Yeah."
"Then do you want it?"
It was Frey's turn to blink. "I-I want to want it. But I'm not sure if I can."
"I can be a very patient guy," Jørgen whispered, tangling his fingers in Frey's soft, white-blond hair. "I like you a lot, Frey, and I think we would be good together. I get the feeling you like me too."
"I do. But you deserve so much better."
"You shouldn't put yourself down like that," Jørgen chastised gently. "I like you. Not anyone else. Just you, Frey. I've liked you since the very first time I saw you, back at the airport when you first arrived."
"But I'm so messed up. I don't know how long it will take me to get over what happened. It could take a long while; it could take forever. I don't know."
"As I said, I'm a very patient guy." Jørgen pulled Frey in closer and wrapped his arms around him, wanting to both warm him and feel him close. Frey tensed at first, but slowly relaxed when Jørgen didn't do anything else but hold him. "I just want to be with you, Frey. In any way you're comfortable with."
"I'm not comfortable with a lot," Frey mumbled against Jørgen's jacket.
"We'll work through it". Jørgen hoped that was a promise he could keep. Frey shouldn't have to go through life being afraid. Everyone deserved to be loved and Jørgen was pretty sure he already loved Frey. It wouldn't be easy being Frey's boyfriend, but Jørgen would try his best to make it work.
Because Frey deserved it.
"You should try to sleep," Jørgen told him softly. "We'll be here a few hours still and it'll be better for you if you manage to sleep through them." Jørgen really hoped it wouldn't take them too long to be found. He wanted to get Frey home, wanted to get his leg looked at, wanted him to be safe and sound back in Longyearbyen.
"I'll try," Frey mumbled.
"You want me to get you those painkillers now?"
Frey nodded and Jørgen rolled out of bed to dig them out of the emergency kit in his saddlebags. He took out a flask of water from the other and went back over to Frey.
Frey swallowed the pills down with a sip of the water, then lay back down again. His eyes were big when he looked up at Jørgen. "Stay with me?" His voice shook.
"Of course." Jørgen sat back down on the bed. "I'm not going anywhere." He put a hand on Frey's cheek, caressing softly. Frey was cold, a little clammy. Jørgen didn't like that.
"Sleep. We'll be able to go home soon."
At least he hoped.
Jørgen lay back down on the bed and wrapped one arm around Frey. Now all they could do was wait.
*~*~*
Jørgen didn't know how long he'd been dozing when a sound outside brought him back to alertness. He sat up, a little disoriented, before he realised what that exact sound was.
"Helicopter!" He all but threw himself out of bed. He stumbled over to the door and slammed it open, then stepped outside. He waved his arms to get the attention of the pilots and he could tell they saw him, because the helicopter turned around and started lowering towards the ground.
Jørgen turned on his heel and went back into the cabin. He shook Frey's thin shoulder gently, prodding him awake. "Frey, they're here to pick us up."
Frey's eyes opened blearily and he sighed heavily in relief at Jørgen's words.
"Come on, love." Jørgen scooped Frey up in his arms, careful not to jos
tle his leg too much. He managed to grab a hold of the saddlebags and the rifle too. Frey wrapped his arms around Jørgen's neck and Jørgen held him close as he went back outside.
The helicopter landed just as he stepped through the door, but it didn't shut down. Jørgen hurried over, the wind from the rotors making it more difficult for him to walk.
"Frey's hurt," he told the paramedic waiting for him.
"Buckle down," the woman told him, nodding towards a seat. "I'll take a look at him."
Jørgen put Frey down on the stretcher in the back of the helicopter, then went to do as she'd instructed. The helicopter took off as soon as he was properly seated.
Jørgen looked behind him, to Frey's pale face. Please be okay.
*~*~*
Jørgen sat in the waiting room in the hospital, waiting for news on Frey, when Jon, the governor of Svalbard, joined him.
Jørgen greeted him. Jon was a middle-aged man with short, grey hair and bright eyes. He was a nice guy and a good governor.
"Jørgen." Jon seemed relieved to find him safe and sound. "Are you alright?"
"I am." Jørgen nodded and ran a hand over his face. "But Frey hurt his ankle. I think maybe there's more, but they won't tell me anything."
"What happened? Karina called me in a frenzy, saying that you two went out with the horses and never came back."
Jørgen tugged at his hair as he thought back to what had happened. "It was the poachers again. We came around a turn in the path and there were two shots. One shot a bear, the other my horse. Frey's horse bolted off. We have no idea where it is."
"Another bear-shooting. Fuck." Jon frowned and rubbed at his chin. "Did you see any of them this time?"
Jørgen nodded solemnly. "Yeah, I did. I know who they are too."
"And?" Jon sounded almost like he didn't want to hear the answer.
"Russians. I don't know their names or anything about them, but they're friends of a friend of mine." He had met them all briefly the previous summer, though he couldn't for the life of him remember their names.
"What's your friend's name? We've got to bring him in for a talk."
"Radimir Kaminski." He couldn't help but wonder if Radimir was a part of it too. He hadn't seen Aleksandr among them, so he hoped neither one of them were mixed up in this mess. If they knew about it though, they would be accomplices and charged as such.
Jon stood up and nodded down at Jørgen. "I'm sorry that you had to be caught in the cross-fire on this, but you've helped a lot by giving out who they are. We've got them now."
Jørgen nodded and shook Jon's hand in parting. Jon walked away and Jørgen put his head in his hands. It had been an awful long time without any news. When would they come to tell him what was going on? Or better yet, when would he be allowed inside to see Frey?
"Jørgen!"
Jørgen looked up and spotted Andreas approaching, with Christian not far behind. Andreas looked worried sick. Jørgen had already forgotten he'd called Andreas when he'd first got to the hospital, probably waking them both as it was the middle of the night.
"How is he?" Andreas stopped in front of Jørgen and his hands twisted together nervously. "Is he alright?"
"I don't know." Jørgen shook his head. "He hurt his ankle, at least, but there's got to be more. It's been an awful long time since they took him away." Jørgen wanted to see him so badly.
"There he is!" Andreas looked over Jørgen's shoulder, a smile slowly spreading across his face.
Jørgen turned and saw Frey coming towards them, on crutches. Andreas brushed past Jørgen and went over to wrap Frey up in a hug. Frey looked distinctly uncomfortable, but he let Andreas hug him.
"I was so scared when Jørgen called," Andreas told him. "I'm so glad you're alright!"
Frey didn't say anything, just tentatively hugged Andreas back.
Jørgen wanted to go over and do exactly as Andreas had done; to pull Frey into a tight hug. But he didn't know how Frey would react to that, so he stayed where he was. He didn't like it though.
When Andreas finally let Frey go, they both came back to where Jørgen and Christian were standing. Frey greeted Christian with a small smile, then glanced shyly up at Jørgen.
Jørgen wanted to pull him against himself, to hold onto him and never let go. He couldn't possibly do that though, so he just smiled slightly at him. Frey must've seen something in his eyes or face though, because he didn't smile back, just regarded Jørgen with something that looked like a cross of wonder and confusion.
"Can you take me home?" he asked. "I just want to go home."
"I don't have my car here." Jørgen so wanted to do what Frey asked, but then they'd have to walk, and he didn't think Frey was up for that.
Andreas jumped in. "We can drive you home. Both of you."
Frey looked at Andreas, then back at Jørgen. He nodded. "Okay."
Jørgen grabbed hold of his saddlebags and rifle, staying at Frey's side as they exited the hospital. Frey looked a little unsteady on the crutches, but he managed fine all the way to the car.
Nobody said anything as Christian drove towards Frey's house. It was early morning and everyone was tired, and Jørgen suspected they didn't want to ask questions while everything that had happened was so fresh.
Frey hesitated getting out of the car when it stopped in front of his flat. He glanced over at Jørgen.
"W-will you st—" He cleared his throat slightly. "Will you stay with me tonight?"
His voice was low and insecure and the fright ran through to Jørgen loud and clear.
"I don't want to be alone."
"Of course." Jørgen didn't hesitate. He got out of the car and went around to help Frey out. He hoisted his saddlebags on his shoulder and gripped the rifle in his free hand as he used the other to hold the car door open for Frey.
Frey hobbled outside, unsteady on one leg and two crutches.
Andreas turned around in the passenger seat. "See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah." Frey nodded jerkily, cast Andreas and Christian a small smile, then started for his flat.
Jørgen held the door open for him to hobble inside, then he closed and locked it after them. Kosmo came into the hallway, yawning widely and tail wagging slowly.
Jørgen helped Frey out of his jacket, then bent down to pick the little puppy up so Frey could pet it.
Frey held both his crutches in one arm and used the other to scratch Kosmo's head. "Miss me?" he murmured, putting his cheek atop Kosmo's head as he moved his hand to scratch under the puppy's chin.
Jørgen kicked off his shoes and helped Frey with his own when he'd stopped petting Kosmo. He kept a firm grip on the puppy though and carried him as he followed Frey into the bedroom. Frey put the crutches against the nightstand, then all but fell into bed with a heavy sigh.
Jørgen let Kosmo down on the bed and the little puppy cuddled up to Frey. Jørgen sat down on the edge of the bed, uncertain what to do next. Frey had asked him to stay the night, but what else did Frey expect?
"The poachers. Did you see them?" Frey's voice was low and hesitant and frightened. He wasn't looking at Jørgen, instead his eyes were trained on the ceiling.
"I did."
"W-was Radimir—?"
"No. At least I don't think so. I didn't see him or Aleksandr." Jørgen ran his hand over his face, then rested his chin in his palm as he gazed down at Frey.
"I hope not. I know you have a, uh, history with, uh, Radimir." Frey's voice lowered to a whisper at the end.
Jørgen bit his lower lip. "Does that bother you?"
"No." Frey sighed. "Everybody's got a history, right?"
"Yeah." Jørgen sighed. "There's Jonathan too. And my kids."
"I know." Frey smiled slightly. "I know about Jonathan and I know you've got kids."
"I never slept with Karina or Sara. I'm not bisexual. It was artificial insemination."
"I know." Frey's smile widened a fraction. "Andreas likes to talk and I like to listen, so... I know."
Jørge
n couldn't help but smile a little too, but recalling the events of the day slowly killed it. "I'm sorry about today."
"It wasn't your fault." Frey rubbed a hand over his eyes and Jørgen could see he was tired.
"You should go to sleep." Frey needed to sleep after the day's trauma. He needed his rest.
"And you?" Frey's moss-green eyes were wide as he finally looked at Jørgen.
"I'll be here." He just wasn't sure exactly where here would be. Would he stay on the sofa?
"Will you be here?" Frey's eyes flickered away, but he softly patted the pillow next to his own.
"Sure." Relief spread through Jørgen's chest and he moved over Frey to settle down on the other side of him. Kosmo didn't so much as move an ear where he lay pressed to Frey's side.
Frey yawned.
Jørgen turned on his side and caressed Frey's cheek softly. "Go to sleep. I'll be here."
Frey grabbed a hold of Jørgen's hand and he didn't let go as he turned on his side. Jørgen had no other choice but to inch closer, careful of the puppy that was now pressed to Frey's lower back.
If he hadn't been so tired after the long, traumatic day he'd had, Jørgen might've had difficulties falling asleep with Frey holding onto him like that, and Frey's upper back pressed against his chest, but as it was, Jørgen felt his eyes drop instantly as he settled down.
Chapter Five
Jørgen woke to a tense body pressed up against his own and an aching morning wood. An aching morning wood that was pressed up against the tight arse that belonged to the tense body he had his arm wrapped around.
Jørgen rolled away in terror, hoping he hadn't done anything in his sleep to scare Frey away completely. To his surprise, Frey rolled over too. He had a tentative look in his eyes as he glanced from Jørgen's face, to his groin, and back to his face again.
"I'm sorry," Jørgen mumbled, rubbing at his face.