by Liz Schulte
“Guy sitting at the fountain?” Quintus nodded his head in the general direction of the man.
“What about him?”
“Human or non-human?”
“Dancer?” I kidded, before looking closer. He was tall and slender, with large ears and extremely sharp features. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping against the sidewalk. I chewed my lip, trying to pick out the any strange features. “Human, I think.”
“Correct. Woman sitting on the steps.”
“Not human—what is she?” The woman appeared to be floating slightly above the step, but other than that she looked like anyone else walking around.
“Ghost.”
“Are you serious? She looks so real.”
“She is real, the same as you and me.”
“Does anyone just stay dead?”
“Most people stay dead, because not everyone has the opportunity to come back—and not everyone takes it if they have it. She probably died before her time.” The ghost caught us looking at her and smiled in our direction, appreciating having been noticed.
“What about her?” he asked, nodding towards a little girl skipping along the base of the steps.
“Faery?”
“Wonderful! How can you tell?”
“She twinkles like the nymphs.”
“She's a sprite.”
“Is she a child?”
“No, they all look like children, but they are a very old race.”
“This is insane,” I mumbled before I took my own turn pointing out everyone that wasn’t human. Quintus showed me the ones I missed, but there weren’t many. I could barely fathom that I’d existed my whole life believing I saw everything when there was a whole other world moving right along beside me.
“Quintus!” A female voice came from behind me. I turned to see Quintus enveloped in a hug by a woman I assumed was another guardian based on their similar glow. The man with her gave Quintus a less enthusiastic three pat hug. The couple’s gazes flickered over me suspiciously as they greeted him.
“Guardians,” I said matter-of-factly to Quintus, as if we were still playing our game.
Quintus smiled brightly, deep dimples pocketing his face. “Olivia, meet Ruth and Henry.”
I offered my hand. “Olivia Martin, nice to meet you.”
Ruth’s expression changed as she watched Henry shaking my hand. “Guardians do not use last names. We keep no ties to our old lives, isn’t that right, Quintus?” I let my hand fall to my side before turning back to Ruth smiling at her congenially, but something other than good will clawed at the inside of me. I had enough to deal with trying to keep Holden at bay. The last thing I needed was some catty guardian trying to put me in my place.
“Quintus?” Ruth demanded, forcing Quintus to stop looking at me, which was actually a bit of relief because it was becoming increasingly hard to maintain stoicism with Quintus trying to dissect me at every turn.
“You are correct, Ruth, but I haven’t gotten that far in her training. This is only her second day as a guardian. I think we can cut her a little slack.”
Henry’s face was suddenly washed in interest. “So the rumors are true? You are training her?”
Quintus laughed loudly from his stomach, the sound filling the air around us. Holden never laughed like that. He hardly ever laughed, but when he did it was a soft chuckle that seemed to be meant only for me to hear. God I missed that. “Yes.”
Henry whistled and Ruth said, “Must be nice.”
I looked back and forth between the three of them and mentally counted to ten in hopes that I wouldn't overreact. Why was I so angry?
“You don’t normally train guardians?” I asked, struggling to keep my voice normal.
“No, I'm usually in charge of the overall training program. There're too many recruits for me to train everyone personally, so the mentorship is split between different guardians in select areas where the new guardian may excel. We try to match them based on where their talents lay. Someday you’ll probably mentor someone,” Quintus said as if it was some great prize.
I hoped I didn’t look as confused as I felt. Why the special treatment? Why was he training me?
“But you are a born guardian, so I guess you’re ‘special,’” Ruth chimed in snidely.
“You are different,” Henry said, his eyes drifting over me in a way that made me want to slap him. I made no effort to hide the fact that I resented being treated like a prize cow at a fair. My light started retracting within me, the more uncomfortable I became.
Henry’s eyes widened. “No one ever taught me to do that.” He glared at Quintus, as if he’d been cheated in some way.
Ruth narrowed her eyes at me before turned her back to me and faced Quintus fully, as if she could cut me out of the conversation just by not looking at me.
Quintus adopted a kind yet authoritative tone. “Olivia has many talents, most of which are untapped. That is why I'm training her and not anyone else. And speaking of training, we're in the middle of a lesson, so we'll have to excuse ourselves.” Both guardians nodded to him that they understood.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Henry said, though he still glanced back at me as if I were a marvelous new toy.
"Have you seen Stephen recently?" Ruth asked Quintus.
Quintus shook his head and Ruth sighed. “Is it just me or does it seem like we’re disappearing?”
Quintus shrugged. "I’m sure they are just on assignment. Nothing to worry about."
“I guess, but I still haven’t seen Jeremiah either. See you later, Quintus.” Ruth smiled, and she and Henry strolled away.
I arched my eyebrows. “Who’s Stephen and Jeremiah?”
“Other guardians.”
“Are they missing? Should we be looking for them?”
“Everything’s fine. You just need to focus on training.”
I struggled not to roll my eyes, but trusted Quintus knew what he was talking about. “Are all guardians like that?” I asked, nodding my head in the direction Ruth and Henry walked away.
“They're relatively new…”
“Hmph.” Unless I was crazy, I knew exactly what Ruth's problem was. Henry was obviously just an idiot, but Ruth had purpose. “So do guardians date?”
“Date?” Quintus’s face looked like someone had just grabbed his butt.
“Yes, you know, like go out together, have relationships.”
“Well, yes, of course.”
“So they're a couple?”
“No, siblings.”
“Ah, that makes more sense.” I nodded. “That explains her attitude.”
“Her attitude?”
Quintus couldn't really be so blind, could he? “Surely, you know.”
He shook his head, his face completely blank as if he had no clue what I was talking about. “Ruth likes you.”
“Of course she likes me. We’re friends.”
“No! She really likes you.” His head tilted to the side as he looked at me. "She has a crush,” I elaborated.
Quintus laughed. “That’s absurd!”
“Quinn, I may not have been a guardian for very long, but I’ve been a girl all of my life. I know when another girl is sizing up. She has a crush on you, and she thinks I’m competition—that’s why she was rude. And her brother, well, he’s just socially awkward.”
Quintus looked back in the direction Ruth had departed, though she was long gone now, with a dubious expression. “I don’t date.”
I smiled. “Why not? You're a nice, handsome fellow. Quite the catch.”
Quintus's cheeks colored beneath his dark stubble. He was like a big huggable teddy bear. He wouldn’t meet my eyes as he started to talk. “I've lived a long time, Firefly. I've fallen in love many times, but it always ended the same, so I stopped dating. I cannot be proficient at this job and maintain a relationship.”
I sort of understood what he was saying. Since I’d died, I was certain I’d never be with anyone again. Holden had ru
ined that for me. He collected my heart and kept it, leaving a gaping hole in my chest. “Who hurt you?”
“It’s more a collective thing. I'm just bad at relationships. Our work here always will come first.”
“Other guardians should understand that.”
"I haven't only dated guardians."
"Really? I guess I assumed..."
“The first time I fell in love, it was with a human I was sent to help. She grew old and died while I continued on as I ever was. Next, I fell for an elf. Our lives were too separate. Where we were once of the same tastes and mind, over time we found we didn't know each other anymore. Eventually, there was nothing left to say.”
“Have you ever dated another guardian?”
Quintus gave me a weird look that I couldn’t quite interpret, then muttered, “Yes, the last time I fell in love, in fact—a guardian named Catherine. We were together for hundreds of years. We spent nearly every moment together. Everything was perfect.”
“What happened?”
“She was killed.”
“I’m so sorry. How?”
“A demon.”
I closed my eyes remembering how it was. That poor woman. “How do you kill someone who’s already dead?”
Quintus frowned. “Not easily. Guardians are reborn under the grace of God—and that’s difficult to extinguish. A vampire, for example, could live on one of us for hundreds of years. A demon on the other hand, in its true form, can tear the life from us. It’s excruciatingly painful and takes several days if not weeks,” his voice cracked with emotion, “but it can be done. A powerful enough jinni could conceivably do it too.”
There was something behind his jinn comment, but I didn’t acknowledge it. I wouldn’t be tricked into talking about Holden. “Did you kill that demon?”
“No. Revenge never gets you anywhere, nor does it make you feel better. Did your revenge for Juliet improve your life in any way?”
I turned away, my throat clenching with tears I refused to spill. Anger and bitterness were quick to fill the hole in my chest. “I didn’t get my revenge, did I?”
“You had revenge. You just weren’t alive to see it.”
“You—you carried through with the plan?” The man who wouldn't avenge the love of his own life carried through with my plan of revenge? Let's just say I had my doubts.
“Holden and I both did.”
My stomach plummeted. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Olivia, may I give you some advice?”
“That depends on the advice. If it’s about him, no.”
“You need to find within yourself the grace to forgive. It’s only by that you can heal.”
Stubbornness reared its ugly head, and I gave him the stoniest look I could master. “I’m tired, we should head back.”
“As you wish.”
We walked back towards his apartment in silence, both of us caught up in our pasts until something caught my eye. There was an old man sitting on a stoop in the alley, his light slowly blinking around him like a beacon.
“Are you coming?” Quintus asked, but I pointed towards the man. Quintus came back to me, curiosity filling his eyes.
“He looks strange.”
He glanced at the old, smoking man with the blinking soul. “How does he look strange?”
It was hard to tell if he was testing me or if he really didn't see it. “His light is waning. It isn’t like other humans.”
Quintus’s eyes searched mine. “Human souls aren't visible.”
I frowned. "You could see mine."
"That's different. You were a born guardian. It was always your path. Most humans come across as little else than neutral."
“That isn't true. It's there, just faint. I see it on everyone and that man's isn't right. He needs help.”
Quintus nodded and rubbed his chin. “Then you should help him.”
“Me? I can’t help him. I don’t even speak Italian.”
“It won’t matter. You can speak English to him, and he will hear Italian, just as you will hear English.”
"How is that possible?”
“How did you expect to help people if you couldn’t understand their language?”
It was too much. Now I could speak and understand any language? And he expected me to help a complete stranger? How would I get the man to talk to me, let alone let me pry into his life? “I don’t know how. Can't I watch you?”
“He was shown to you. You must be the one.”
I nodded and slowly walked down the alley, Quintus following a few feet behind me. I guess it was now or never, time to prove I could—or could not—do this guardian thing.
The man took a long draw on his cigarette, savoring the inhalation. I sat down. His mingled scent of whiskey and smoke burned my nostrils. Exhaustion radiated from the old man. He was sick—I could tell as surely as I could smell the smoke in the air.
"Hello."
Startled, his body jerked before he looked at me. "Well, I'll be, didn't even see you sit down, young lady."
I smiled. "Lost in your thoughts?"
He laughed bitterly. "And then some." He took another long drag on his cigarette, "What's a nice girl like you doing at a place like this?"
"Just passing through. How about you?"
"Coming to the end of the road."
"Has it been a good journey?"
"Not particularly."
The old man looked so sad with the quiet acceptance of the path before him. "Not everything works out the way we plan it." I tried not to think about the words before I said them. Forcing my brain to take a backseat, I realized I did still have a heart—and the poor, bruised thing ached with new pain. I let it lead, hoping it knew what it was doing.
"That's the truth, and that's why there’s whiskey."
I laughed, but the sadness in the air around us was unmistakable. "Even though life may not work out the way we think it should, there's still,” I took a deep breath, “there's still a point. We all have a role to play. Bad things happen to everyone, no one comes through unscathed. It’s what you do after the bad happens that develops character."
"What if you're the one who did the bad things?"
"Then you have to find the forgiveness you need, whether it be from God, someone you wronged, or from yourself. Find your absolution. Start over. It’s never too late. Mend your heart. Don't tear it to pieces with guilt and regret."
A fat tear traced the deep lines down his face. "I don't know how to start over."
"I’d start by forgiving myself and others. Then find a way to be happy." I took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Energy flowed from me into him, almost like I was giving my own strength only it didn't hurt or weaken me. In fact, it felt wonderful.
Something very near to euphoria crackled against my skin and for the first time I felt I might be able to survive without Holden. Almost instantly the man developed a steady white aura that no longer flickered or faded. I smiled at him, patting the back of his hand. "It was a pleasure meeting you."
"Are you leaving so soon?"
"Yes, I have to go. Get some rest. Everything will be better in the morning. Good night."
I walked back down the alley, literally glowing. Quintus stepped in pace with me, all smiles. “You helped him. How does it feel?”
“How can you be sure I helped him?”
“Your light was surrounding him when you left. It's enough to allow him to see what is right. Whether or not he takes it is his choice.”
“So he may not.”
“True, but he might. We don't make decisions for people. We guide them towards what needs to be done and if need be, give them a push in the right direction. Well done, Firefly.”
I smiled and linked my arm through his, riding high from the buzz. “It felt good.”
“Of course it did. It's your destiny.”
Ten
I didn’t like Juliet. She met me at the club the next day and she talked, and talked, and talke
d—and smiled and flirted until I wanted to shove her in a closet and leave her there. I struggled with whether or not it was worth the aggravation to deal with her at all. Olivia was dead and having the constant reminder of her wasn’t going to make my life any easier. Juliet’s constant jabs about Olivia would eventually make me snap. I could feel the pressure building every time she mentioned her name in a less than flattering manner. It would’ve been so much easier just to get rid of her.
But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t owe Juliet anything. However, Olivia’s pain at her death was still as fresh in my mind as it was three years ago, and I couldn’t kill her when all Olivia wanted was for her to come back. But the worst part of having Juliet in my face all time? Seeing her live and in the flesh made me think I’d made the wrong choice for Olivia—maybe she would have done okay as a jinni. She would’ve had us both. I didn’t buy for a second that Juliet would actually kill her friend. She may have been mad, but I knew from experience that Olivia was hard to kill when she was standing in front of you all eyes and innocence.
Juliet knocked on my office door interrupting my thoughts about Olivia. “Come in.”
“They made a bid.” She slid a piece of paper across my desk with a satisfied smile.
I flipped over the sheet and did a double take. “That’s for everything? The additions, gutting, and renovation?”
Juliet’s eyes twinkled. “Yep.”
“We’ll take it.” I put the paper on top of the other bids she’d collected. When I looked up she was still standing in front of my desk. “Do you need something?”
“You aren’t one for praise, are you?”
“If you need your ego stroked, you better run along after Danica.”
“You don’t know it yet, but you need me.”
I shook my head. “Don’t fool yourself. You may be useful, but you aren’t necessary.”
She put on a sorrowful look that I didn’t believe for a second. Sure, Juliet managed to acquire an impressive renovation deal for the club, but she was being overly compliant. She didn’t like me when she was alive, and I respected her for that. Now she was overly familiar as if we had known each other intimately for years. It put me on edge. She’d been Danica’s right hand while she ran the territory. I had to wonder how much of that allegiance was left. Why hadn’t she moved with Danica? Why did she want to stay? I hadn’t seen the last of Danica, I knew that. She was a jinni and no jinni gave up their territory that easy. She’d come at me. I just needed to know which direction she was coming from.