by Liz Schulte
“I’m so happy I met you. Today should have turned out completely different, you have no idea, but somehow it became one of the best days I ever had.”
“That’s the funny thing about days. One day, or even a whole month or year, can be absolutely awful, then you wake up some morning and everything’s better. That’s why you should never give up. Life is good at changing faster than you can blink.”
“You’re right. I never would’ve believed that until now. But I know, I know everything will be okay. I don’t know why, but I feel like I should thank you.”
Olivia smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear that, Nathan.” She waved her hand in front of his face just like I’d taught her and his eyes glazed over.
I followed suit, taking care of the rest of the room for her before we left. In a couple seconds, they would all snap back, completely rested and with no memory of us, only the feelings we’d generated. Our job here was done, though I had no idea if she had fixed the problem.
“Are you satisfied?” I asked her when were outside. “Do you think it worked?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“How did you do it?”
Her eyes met mine for a moment, then she walked away. After a few steps in silence, she finally said, “I made him feel something real. The dominate emotions he was feeling were thin. So I wrapped him in the light, though I didn’t shove him, I promise, and then I just spoke with him like a normal person. I let him feel what it was like to have a new friend—that hope and encouragement you feel when something new and exciting is happening. I figured if I left him with a real emotion it would be stronger than the fake ones.”
I could not have been more proud of her progress. “Why didn’t you just overpower their suggestion with your own?”
“I don’t know if I could. The negativity and false thinking had taken root and was strong. I thought the only way I could battle it was with something real, something they couldn’t compete with.”
“That’s as good of a theory as any I’ve heard, Firefly. I’m impressed.”
“Thanks,” she said, but didn’t seem happy. We walked a little further in silence. I waited, hoping she would let me in on what she was thinking about, but after a few minutes it was clear she wasn’t planning on talking about it.
“Are you ready to go?” I asked and she nodded.
Back in Rome, she collapsed onto the couch and tapped her foot impatiently, accented with the occasional sigh.
“Is something bothering you, Firefly?”
“Why was I assigned a person marked by a jinni?” she asked bluntly.
“I don’t know.” I watched her closely for a reaction.
“Do they know?” She tugged on her lower lip.
“Not from me.” I felt sorry for her. “They’re probably just testing to see how good you are. There is a lot of interest in your success.”
“Why?”
I had said too much. “Because every guardian’s success is shared by all.”
She rolled her eyes and stared out the window. “Well, at least it was interesting.”
That wasn’t the response I expected. I thought at the very least she would be mad I didn’t tell her more about the elders, but instead all I got was interesting. “What’s interesting?”
“Just seeing what jinn involvement looks like,” she said half-heartedly. I nodded for her to continue, but she didn’t.
“It wasn’t like that with you and Holden,” I told her, taking a stab at what she was thinking.
Her eyes met mine, cold rage behind them for just a moment. “You have no idea what it was like with us.”
“I’m just saying your emotions didn’t appear to be hollow, like the other jinn created feelings.”
“And I’m just saying it’s none of your business,” she snapped. “Jesus, Quintus, don’t you ever learn?”
“Fine.” I started walking away. Obviously this was a mistake.
“I think I want to live in Chicago,” she said before I made it out of the room, her voice sounding more normal.
Her declaration cleared my mind of any thoughts. She was really leaving. I searched for an excuse why she couldn’t go, but came up short. Chicago was a little close to St. Louis for my liking, but she seemed to be fine with the not going to St. Louis part of the rules. I realized I had been hoping she had been in Rome long enough to want to stay. I cleared my throat. “Why Chicago?”
“I was trying to think where else I would feel at home. Then today it was so nice to be back in the Midwest, I thought why not. While I like to travel and I like to visit other places, I’m a Midwest girl at heart. I feel the most comfortable there. Outside of St. Louis I’ve probably spent the most time in Chicago, so I think it will be okay. And I don’t have any close friends or family there. . . . ”
Damn, she even thought her decision through. “We’ll put in the request for you tomorrow.”
“Great. It’ll be good to settle in somewhere, start my life.”
Her words felt like daggers. I watched Olivia lay her head back on the arm of the couch and prop her feet up. She inhaled and exhaled in slow deep breaths as if expelling pent up tension. “Are you happy?”
“I’m getting there.” She smiled at the ceiling. “Thank you for putting up with my moods. I know I haven’t been the most fun these past months. And sorry I snapped at you.”
“I don’t know; I’ve had fun.”
She laughed, her whole face lighting up. For just a moment she looked like the girl I’d watched in the park that day. “You, my friend, have low expectations for fun then.”
I joined her laughter. “Maybe I do, but I have enjoyed our time. I had forgotten what it’s like to …” My voice trailed off. I didn’t know how to finish my thought in a way that wouldn’t make her run away.
She tilted her head so she could look at me. “To not be alone?” she said, all the humor melting from her face.
“Exactly.”
Olivia searched my eyes. “You should start dating again, Quinn. Just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you should stop. You’re a nice guy. You shouldn’t be alone.” She let her head fall back to the arm of the couch.
“That’s good advice. You should think about taking it.”
She smiled sadly, but didn’t look at me. “Yeah.”
“I’m serious, Olivia. At some point you have to let go.”
“I have let go. I carry no hope. I have no delusions. I’ve let go.”
“Then why does it follow you around?”
“It’s just the way I am. I was never good at handling failure and this is so much worse than just failing. Murphy’s law beat me with a stick.”
“You didn’t fail, Firefly. You are here now.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”
“I know you’re in pain, but no one is meant to be with just one person. You’re not defined by him.”
“I know. He’s evil. He manipulated me more times than I can count, and I never want to see him again. You were right about everything. I should have distanced myself. I get it, I do. I’m not the same as I was then and probably never will be that person again. I’m little wiser now.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I hope. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m sort of broken now. I don’t think I could ever trust anyone again.”
“That isn’t true.” I stepped towards her, but Olivia stood up abruptly.
“I’m still wound up. I’m going for a run.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“You hate jogging.”
I shrugged. I did hate it, but I would make an exception for her.
“No, that’s okay. I just want to clear my head. I’ll be back in a little while.”
The door shut behind her and I sat alone in my apartment, which had always been a refuge for me from the stress of work but now seemed empty without her. I wondered if Holden knew she was back. If he did know, how could he stay away? Perhaps he didn’t care anymore. If only I could
know for certain whether she had really let him go or whether she’d just buried him deep inside, then I could know how to help her. Every time we started to talk about it, she ran away, clammed up, or stormed out. If I knew for a fact she had let him go, I could dare to hope—
I wandered into her room. It smelled like her, clean with a hint of something sweet. She had done nothing to the room to make it look like her own. Everything was as I kept it. I ran my fingers over her pillow and opened the closet. There was only one shirt hanging in the closet, a men’s black button down. The one I had made for her, Holden’s shirt. Was it a memento of her love or a reminder of how close she came to danger? I shut her closet and left the room.
I wished the jinni had kept his filthy claws out of her. She was too good for him—but I didn’t have time to dwell on that. I felt the tug of Ezra’s summons. An instant later I was in his private office. Twice in one week. Didn’t he have better things to do?
“Sir?”
“How did today go? How did she do on her assignment?”
“Very well, I think. It was a hard assignment for a new guardian. I take it you know she was assigned someone marked by a jinni. But she handled it deftly.”
“Excellent. No problems?”
“No. Why would she have problems?” I wondered if Ezra knew more about Holden then I thought.
“The jinn in that region have a new commander. His changes to the organization have been felt. They are becoming better at what they do, which is becoming a problem for us. I’m glad to hear she could handle it. Many other guardians have been losing their people.”
“She said she made him feel a real emotion and left him with that because it would be stronger than the hollow ones he was filled with.”
“How?”
“She talked with him, sir. She was a friend to him I believe.”
“With a human?” His eyebrows shot up which was Ezra’s equivalent of running around the room, flailing his arms in surprise. “Interesting.”
“She has decided where she wants to move.”
“Where?”
“Chicago.”
“Really?” He drummed his fingers across the desk. “Did she say why?”
“She has spent time there and wants to stay in the Midwest.” I had a flash of hope that Ezra would turn down the transfer and she would have to make another choice.
He nodded and appeared to be mulling it over. “That’s as good a place as any for her, especially given her success with the jinn’s webs. Yes, I think that will work out perfectly. We are planning on making a more concentrated effort in North America, so the more guardians we have on hand there, the better.”
“We’re going to put in the request tomorrow.” I buried my disappointment.
“No need, I’ll take care of it.”
“Uh, thank you, sir, but you don’t have to—”
He waved off what I was saying. “I have work to attend to, as always. Quintus, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Does she know you come here?”
“No, sir.”
“Good.” And with that I was sent back to my apartment. I heard the shower running. Olivia was back. I chose a book from my shelf and was just sitting down when there was a knock at the door. I answered to find no one there, just an envelope taped to it. The envelope held an address in Chicago and two keys.
“What’s that?” Olivia stood behind me with wet hair, baggy pants and a t-shirt.
“Your new apartment, I think.”
“I thought we were going to apply for that tomorrow.”
“I had some time so I thought I would surprise you.” I didn’t like lying to her. “I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.”
“May I?” She held out her hand for the envelope, a small smile twitching her lips.
“You want to check it out?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
It was a nice apartment, a really nice apartment. It had a great view and had to be expensive, the perks of having an elder make your requests for you, I guess. The furnishings were modern and sleek. The main level was a big open space with floor to ceiling windows, a large sitting area with a huge flat screen TV, and a dining table that could easily seat ten people. The kitchen was one step up and expansive, with a double oven, gas top stove, and a refrigerator paneled to match the cabinets. Off to one side of the apartment was a stainless steel stair case hovered over the floor and led up to a loft bedroom and bathroom.
Olivia whistled. “Impressive. I really don’t need all of this, but wow.”
“Do you like it?”
“Obviously, who wouldn’t? So can I stay here tonight?”
“Of course, it’s yours.” She smiled. “Do you want me to get your things from my apartment?”
“No, don’t worry about it. I’ll come back with you and get them.”
No more than twenty minutes later she stood in front of me, small overnight bag in hand. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You’re really leaving me, Firefly?”
“Only for a few hours.”
I gave her a hug though she stiffened underneath it. “We’ll see each other in the morning, Quintus,” she said, pushing away from me.
“Would you like to have dinner tomorrow night?”
“Sure.”
“Great, it’s a date.” Worry immediately etched her face and she started shaking her head, but I cut her off. “You said I should start dating, and I decided you are absolutely right I should.” I flashed my best smile, willing her to agree. “I choose you.”
She looked deep into my eyes, searching for something, but I had no idea what. Finally she sighed. “Yeah, let’s give it shot.”
Perhaps not as excited as I was, but it was a start. I grinned and she gave me a tight smile before fading into light. It was a date.
Twenty One
“There was nothing there,” Baker told me as I answered the door to my apartment.
“I told you it was an illusion.” I stepped back so he could come inside.
“Yeah, but I should’ve felt something. Some trace if that kind of mojo was used.”
“What did you feel?”
“Nothing at all. It was completely clean as if nothing had been there from the Abyss, ever.”
“Damn it.”
“I’m at a loss, boss man. The only solution I can think of is highly unlikely if not impossible.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, there are beings that can supposedly, if they’re real, visit you in your mind. They wouldn’t leave a trace, because they were never there. It could have made you see whatever it wanted you to see because it was controlling the old melon, if you catch my drift.”
“And what are these so-called beings?”
Baker shifted uncomfortably and stared at the ceiling. “Angels.” He shook his head. “Believe me, I know how stupid that sounds, but I don’t have any other guesses.”
I paced away from him. That wasn’t as crazy as he thought. Angels, guardians, they were all connected and whether or not I liked it, I was now connected with them through Liv. Could an angel really have visited a jinni, twice no less? The first time made sense. They were helping Liv through me. But the second time, what was the gain? Olivia wasn’t here anymore, why did they care? Could this be revenge for Liv?
“Shit,” I said aloud.
I could feel Baker’s eyes drilling into the back of my head.
“Why in the hell would one be tormenting me?”
“Are you on the up and up or have you been hitting the giggle water? Angels? Seriously? They could snap their fingers and make you sizzle. They wouldn’t torture you—you aren’t worth their time, if, in fact, they’re even real.”
Baker was right. It didn’t matter why the angel was bent on driving me crazy. Angels were untouchable. If it wanted me to go insane, I would and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about that.
“Thanks, I’ll take it from here. I hav
e another job for you.”
“Wait, you have to tell me what’s going on.”
“The less you know, the better. I need you to start tailing Juliet. She has something in the works, and I need to know what—it’s the more immediate threat. I’ll tell you the other story someday.” If I live that long, I thought.
“You have more problems—“
“I can’t do this now, Baker. I have to think.”
Baker mumbled to himself the whole way out about angels, and he kept glancing back at me as if trying to determine if I was crazy or incredibly unlucky. It was an excellent question. I heard voices that weren’t there, chased after flashes of dead girls walking down the street, and drank whiskey with angels in my head. Three very real strikes on the crazy train—unless Olivia was back, a thought I couldn’t dare to let myself hope.
If she was back and didn’t want to see me, she would at least ease her mother’s mind. It was only right. Olivia would never be callous. Even if she couldn’t outwardly reveal herself to her mom, she would have the ability to calm her and lead her to a better place, but Marge had remained the same, therefore Olivia remained dead. Which meant something was after me. It was now a matter of determining if this was something Danica sent or if I was being punished for my time with Olivia. I didn’t really care what it was. I would rather them kill me than torture me with her.
“What are you waiting for?” I growled, turning a slow circle in the center of my apartment, ready to be struck down by lightning, but nothing happened.
I shook my head and pressed my palms against my eyes. I had been good too long, too caught up in the club and business ventures. I felt that familiar clawing at the door as the jinni begged his way out, wanting to take my frustration and play. But I didn’t want to hurt anyone tonight. I didn’t feel like it; I’d rather feel something than nothing. I let the dull aching pain that was always there rise up around me. The jinni could wait.
****
I went out the next day to take the edge off before I went to the club. I hadn’t slept in a week and was exhausted, so I hoped to make it an early night. I wandered the streets and sent out feelers for someone ripe for the picking, someone who wouldn’t require a lot of time. Bankers, business men, sales clerks, boring. I stopped outside of a church and considered. It would be a lot more fun, but—I looked at my watch—a lot more time consuming. It wasn’t a luxury I had. I noticed a police officer on the corner talking to a lady walking her dog. Who didn’t love a dirty cop?