Alex was livid. Barnsley hadn't played by the rules. He had attacked him at every turn. Instead of facing him like a man, Barnsley had cowardly attempted to put him out of business. He killed innocent people so he could bully Alex into helping him. He had murdered Alex's brother in fear that Phillip would expose him. It was time to strike. Alex would no longer wait here in the Caribbean while Barnsley continued to attack him. It was time they attacked back.
******
A heavy dawn broke over Colinas Verdes. All hearts were breaking, all eyes were tearful. Anne, still in her masculine clothing, was dozing in the hammock. What should have been a restful activity was a sad testament to the previous night.
Alex was loathe to wake her, but he had to go. His ship was ready to sail and he was more than ready to confront his enemy. The fire that had started on his plantation now burned throughout his body. So, he gently shook Anne awake and told her it was time for him to leave. Anne stretched and surveyed the land. From here, you could not really see the carnage. But inside the house, Anne knew that families were holding vigils at their loved one's side.
Anne made her way upstairs to her bedchamber. What had once been a luxurious domain had become a hospital and graveyard. Bodies littered the floor; families huddle close, clinging to whatever they had left. Anne cried for them, for their hardships.
Walking carefully through the room, Anne made her way to the privy. She washed her face and pinned her hair back. She longed for a proper bath but chided herself for her selfishness at a time like this.
Staring at her visage in the mirror, she suddenly realized everything that she had lost. Heart-wrenching tears sprung from her eyes and she leaned against the mirror and cried. Those families, those poor people. She cried for a good ten minutes before she heard a knock at the door.
Composing herself, she opened the door to see Maria standing there.
Maria's husband had, indeed, died last night and her oldest son was clinging to life in the adjoining room.
“Maria, how are you,” Anne asked, genuinely wanting to know.
“I just wanted you to know, I have asked the Blessed Virgin to watch over you, Miss Anne,” Maria said. Maria was a Catholic and, although Anne knew little to nothing about the religion, knew this was an honor.
“Thank you, Maria, I have and will continue to keep your family in my prayers,” Anne promised. Now, more than ever, they both clung to their faiths, knowing it was all they had to keep their lives together.
Anne reached out and wrapped her arms around Maria in a great hug. Maria protested, insisting that she should curtsy, but Anne insisted right back that a hug was most proper in these times.
Maria's eyes were tearful and she wondered if the island would ever recover.
Anne answered honestly when she replied, “I do not know. I would truly like to believe it will. I just don't know.”
*****
Jack and Alex had taken care of all the business they needed to, placing several men in charge in their absence. Alex had left money for Mrs. Bainbridge to buy any additional supplies or food she would need. Trade with nearby islands was frequent, and ships passed through these waters often.
Don Francisco and Charles were still unaccounted for, but Alex knew they would return as soon as possible. The women fretted and cried, but the men reassured them the two would be back soon.
As soon as the group was assembled on the porch, Don Francisco and Charles rode up to the house with a great bulk slumped over Charles' horse. Both men looked somber and Alex's gut clenched.
“Someone, quick, help us,” Charles shouted.
“Anne, Alex, Jack, Janey, and Ava ran to his horse and Charles carefully turned the lump over into Jack's arms. Dried blood matted the blond hair at his forehead. His clothes were dirty and torn, but Alex recognized the man right away.
Chris. Dear God.
“Where is that son of a bitch Barnsley right now?” Jack asked, jaw clenched.
Moving quickly, Alex and Jack carried Chris into the library where the settee was free. Laying him down carefully, Alex took care not to aggravate his wounds. Anne sprang to his side, immediately removing some of Chris' clothing carefully so she could assess his wounds.
“Janey, cover your eyes,” Sophia demanded as the group watched Anne check over her patient.
Chris was beaten badly, barely breathing, and out cold. Bruises covered his torso, chest, and back. His face was cut deeply in several places and both eyes were swollen. His left leg hung at an awkward angle, clearly broken, as was his right hand.
“Get me some soap and water, bandages, needle, and thread,” Anne demanded.
Everyone but Jack scurried about to gather the needed items. It took Anne several hours to clean and patch the wounds on her patient, but she did it. As best she could, anyway. Her stitches weren't perfect, but her needlework hadn't been that great, either. Jack never left her side, silently observing her ministrations.
Once he was cleaned up, Mrs. Bainbridge brought a blanket and pillows in for Chris. Anne instructed her sister to sit with him and watch for any signs of movement. Jack asked Janey to leave the room for a few minutes so he could have a moment with his brother.
While he knew it was silly, he began to talk to Chris out loud, telling him of everything that had happened. He couldn't wait for him to wake up so he could really tell Chris everything. They hadn't had a face-to-face conversation in years. Since Jack could not set foot on English soil , he had to see his brother whenever their paths crossed overseas. And that was not often, as business took them to opposite corners of the world.
He wanted to tell Chris that he was ready to settle down on his farm in Virginia. Maybe even find a wife. He was over Abigail now. He had been young and arrogant then, thinking their love could overcome anything. Anything but Abigail's guilt. Now that was over and he had not been in England for many years now. Drifting around, Jack had found himself in India, Africa, the American Colonies, the Caribbean. Now it was time to plant roots somewhere. He had purchased a small farm in the Virginia colony (now state, he supposed) with the thought of raising horses and tobacco. Maybe indigo too. He was not sure. But he wanted someone strong to stay by his side and help build a life there.
Chris lay there, so peaceful. Jack's heart broke to see his little brother so fragile. Chris had been after him for years to get on with his life, but he could not bring himself to do it.
Now he was ready to face his life again. He had been running away since Abigail. Now he was done traveling the world, searching for forgiveness for his sins. It was time he settled in one place. That was what he wanted to tell Chris. More than anything, he wanted Chris to know he had forgiven himself. He was done atoning.
******
With Chris settled, Anne plead with her husband one more time but the request fell on deaf ears. Alex was adamant that she remain behind.
Everyone, aside from Janey, went to the docks to see the men safely aboard the boat. Anne kissed her husband goodbye and watched him board the small ship with a heavy heart. Don Francisco announced his family would be leaving for Florida in the morning and Sophia mutely (for once) stood by.
The anger still coursing through his veins, Alex turned to look at his wife one more time. I will miss you, wife.
The trio stepped onto the deck as the ship pulled away.
Anne didn't wave but watched silently as the ship slipped into the sea. Anne prayed for the safe return of the three men she loved and, despite her best efforts to contain herself, she cried. She cried on the dock until the ship was a blur on the horizon. Then she went to the beach and cried for hours. She cried for the men and women and children. She cried for the husband she loved with all her heart. She cried for the man who was more brother than cousin. She cried for the friend she found so far from home. She cried for the man lying broken in her library.
Sophia came out to comfort her but Anne refused her platitudes and walked down the beach, away from her. Giving up easily, Sophia returned
to the house. Janey came out sometime later but said nothing. She sat next to her sister and cried. Anne cried for that, too.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“The pregnancy had been difficult and the birth had been rough on her. She was in labor for hours.”
Isolation can be a terrible thing, especially when one is separated from the person they love most. Alex's stubbornness unnerved Anne. He had refused her to accompany him and now she had to stay here and wait. Wait until he returned, wait to see if he didn't. Wait to see if someone got hurt, killed, or otherwise. And the waiting was driving her crazy. .
Anne turned away from the window of her bedroom. All of the dead had been buried and the wounded had been moved to a more permanent location. She had the use of her room but the shortage of beds had forced Janey to occupy the room with her.
Anne realized how much she had missed her sister these many months, even though she had been here for weeks. Too wrapped up in her marriage and her husband's problems had left little time for any sisterly talks. She felt ashamed she hadn't thought about them as often as she should. Anne wished, not for the first time, that her mother was someone she could talk to. It made Anne all the more depressed. She took to weeping intermittently. When she wasn't weeping, she was cursing Alex's stubbornness.
The longer Alex was gone, the more hope she lost. By the first week of his absence, Anne was empty. Although she had never been particularly fond of masculine clothing, except on her husband, she was willing to make an exception in this case. Smelling of him, his shirts were warm and soft. She would slip into one at night and picture his arms around her.
She moped for the better part of the first week, distant and restless.
Janey headed for her temporary bedchamber, determined to corner her sister. There were some things to discuss. Now was the time to get her to talk about it. This could not go on.
Since the men had left, Anne spoke of nothing. Absolutely nothing. True, her older sister was not normally a conversational person, but she was mostly cheerful and now, nothing. Janey had baited her time and again but Anne refused to argue with her. And she could believe that Anne had nothing to say to her for a solid week. Normally, Anne had amazing energy so she knew she wasn't merely tired. And, of course, she did hear her sister weep every night. They had all been scarred by the fire, but Anne took it harder than everyone else. Her sister was obviously hurting and she needed to do something about it.
If there was ever a time for Janey to comfort her sister, this was it. When Anne had not even pretended she was interested in any gossip Janey had to share, she grew suspicious. Janey knew her sister was a nay-sayer when it came to gossip, but she also knew Anne secretly enjoyed spending the time with her younger sibling. It was the way they had always communicated. They never spoke of it; it was just understood between them. So when Anne had grown distant over the past week, Janey grew worried. And she was not about to let Anne get away with keeping secrets.
Anne heard a knock on her door and ignored it. She was in no mood to talk to anyone right now.
Janey was wise to her sister's silence. But Anne did not answer Janey's insistent knock. Nor did she answer when Janey called out to her. Finally Janey barged into the room, afraid her sister was ill.
“Anne, why did you not answer?” Janey's breath was a little rapid, as if she had exerted herself.
Anne turned calmly toward her younger sister and asked her, politely, to leave. When Janey refused, Anne shrugged and turned back to the window, staring at the brilliant sunset. Except for the one window, the shades were drawn. There was a tray of food on the bed that clearly had not been touched.
“Anne, are you ill?”
Looking perplex and distracted all at once, Anne turned from the window towards her sister, behind her.
“What, oh, no, not ill. Just tired.”
“Long day?”
“Hmm,” Anne answered, non-committally.
Anne sounded exhausted. And she look haggard.
“I imagine we are all still hurting,” Janey confided, closing the door and sat firmly on the bed, scooting to the middle. Wrapping her arms around her bent knees, she studied her sister's back and waited for an answer.
Anne turned and gave her sister a wan smile but Janey could tell she had no idea what she was saying.
“I imagine it's been difficult to sleep?”
“Sleep? Yes, it's been difficult to sleep,” Anne managed to respond.
“Yes. You haven't eaten much, lately.”
“No, not very much,” Anne agreed, turning back to the window.
“You are probably feeling a little sick?”
“Yes, sick.”
“Probably because the Prince Regent hid his underclothes in your hair?”
“Yes, more than likely,” Anne replied, completely unaware of her sister's statement.
“Really? That must have made life difficult.” Janey stifled a laugh. She tried to keep a straight face.
“Well, yes, it did.”
“Mmm. Anne, do you have any idea what I just said?”
“You said... Oh, dear, I am sorry, would you repeat that?”
“I said you must have been sick with the Regent's underclothes in you hair.”
Anne whirled around. “What? Janey, that makes no sense.”
“What makes even less sense is that you agreed with me.” Janey looked at her sister squarely.
“I did? Oh, I am sorry!” Anne was horrified.
“What has really made you sleepless?”
“Nothing,” Anne lied.
“I don't believe it. Something is bothering you, isn't it?”
“I am just tired.”
“It is something else, I am sure,” Janey was relentless. She was going to get answers.
“No, it is nothing a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed won't cure.”
“I doubt it. I have heard you cry frequently.”
“Janey, you saw the suffering and death here recently. How are you so immune to it?”Anne asked miserably.
“I still feel it. Don't treat me like a child, I was there, Anne.” Sophia said stiffly.
Anne walked over to the bed to comfort her sister.
“I'm sorry, Janey. I'm just hurting,” Anne explained.
Janey stroked her sister's hair soothingly while Anne slipped further and further away from her.
“It is just the constant guessing about everything. I don't know if Alex or Jack or Charles are okay. Then there is the matter of Lord Barnsley. I don't think he is guilty and Alex won't even listen to me. I don't know if the Duchess of Barnsley wants my husband back. And why the devil couldn't I go with them?!”
“Calm down, Anne. ”
Anne snorted indelicately. She was sure, in her depression, that she had lost her husband.
“It's so hard because I love him so much and....well...I don't really even know if he loves me too and I don't want him to die before I can tell him.”
It was the first time Anne had admitted her love for Alex out loud. But she knew Janey would keep it to herself.
“Thanks, Janey.”
“For what?”
“For just trying to make me feel better. Although your joke about the Prince Regent was not your best,” Anne chuckled.
“Someone had to break you of your melancholy,” Janey quipped as she let go of her sister and moved away to peer at her sister.
“It has not been a good year,” Anne said, matter-of-factly.
“Anne, you were married this year. And you have a beautiful new home. How can that not be a happy occasion?”
“Because I don't know if my husband truly loves me,” Anne said tearfully.
“Oh,” was all that Janey could say.
Anne nodded. “Janey, I love you. I'm sorry we haven't talked much all this while.”
“I love you too. Do you love Redbridge so much that this is what has caused all this sorrow? Because I think he loves you,” Janey replied, hopeful.
“Janey, this
world is a harsh place. My greatest wish is that you will hold onto that blissful optimism. I want only good things for you.”
“Anne, what are babbling about?”
“You were right, Janey. Alex is a pirate. In the way that he took something that I didn't want to give. The truth is colored in many shades and you have always seen them all. I have been a fool to look at things in black and white. While I colored my pictures with a rainbow, I neglected to view the world around me that way. Too many gray areas surround us. I hope you will never have to experience that deep, heartbreaking sorrow.”
Anne turned back to the window.
“Anne, I still do not understand,” Janey protested.
“I hope to God, Janey, that you never have to understand.”
“So, you love him but he might not love you? Is that all? You need to find out. You can't sit here and mope.”
“I know,” she croaked tearfully.
Janey shook her head, “Anne, I have watched you for years. I always thought you were crazy to obey mother in all her whims. I found you boring and thought this marriage was a total waste on you. I thought you didn't deserve the excitement. Now I see you have something mother never had. A quiet sort of strength that comes out only when it is needed. I realized after the fire that you save it all up for when the rest of us fall apart. How do you do that?”
“I don't know. I guess I push all my emotions down into my heart and don't let them out until a proper time.”
“No wonder you cry all night,” Janey sighed.
Anne laughed and Janey moved closer to embrace her sister again. After a few minutes like that, Anne sat back, dried her eyes, then jumped off the bed.
“Janey, you are right. I am going to New Orleans to help whether they want me to or not! There is a ship in anchor in the harbor and I plan to be on it. Please do not tell mother until I am well underway. Alex has left me no choice but to sneak into the city. He bloody well learn to accept his wife in all that she is!”
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