by Laura Iding
“Let me know if it isn’t.” He turned toward Hailey. “Come on—let’s get you settled in my office.”
Hailey picked up the list of names, which were now barely legible as a result of being soaked with water. She wiped the list against the only dry spot on her pants leg, and then followed him back through the ED arena.
In the privacy of his office, he urged her to sit down in his chair behind the desk. “How bad is it?” he asked.
She momentarily closed her eyes. “Hurts a little,” she admitted.
“I can tell that your leg hurts much more than just a little,” he argued. “You stood on your injured leg, putting all your weight on it, didn’t you?” When she didn’t respond, he leaned forward earnestly. “You can be honest with me, Hailey. I’m on your side.”
“I appreciate that, Simon. But I really am fine.” She tilted her chin stubbornly and he had the wild urge to kiss her again. “Like I told Theresa, spilled water isn’t the end of the world. I feel bad about the computer, though.”
He could tell she was determined to downplay what had happened. He sighed and straightened. “Fine. I’ll be right back with a hefty dose of ibuprofen and a dry pair of scrubs.” He left before she could try to argue with him again.
As he made his way back through the ED, Bonnie came up to him, putting her hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry, Simon. I hope Hailey is all right.”
For a split second the way she put her hand on his arm with such familiarity reminded him of Erica. But he quickly dismissed the unfair comparison, as he’d noticed most patient care providers had a touchy-feely approach to people. He couldn’t help leaning back, as she was too close to his personal space. “She’s fine, don’t worry. Could have happened to anyone.”
“Good. I’m so glad.” Bonnie smiled and he was relieved when she dropped his arm and walked away.
He returned to his office with the promised ibuprofen, water and fresh pair of scrubs, to find Hailey already logged onto the computer, reviewing one of his patient’s charts. He set the pain reliever and the water a good distance away from the keyboard. No sense in pushing their luck! She paused long enough to take the medication, reinforcing his belief that she hurt worse than she was letting on.
“Do you need anything else?” he asked.
“No, thanks.” She flashed another strained smile, but then immediately turned her attention back to the chart. “I’ll have these chart reviews finished as soon as possible.”
“Hailey, take your time. There’s no rush.” He stood there for a moment, but as he couldn’t come up with any other reason to hang around, he turned to leave.
“Simon?”
The way Hailey said his name caused an immediate physical response. One he really needed to get control over, and quickly. He paused at the doorway, and then turned to glance at her over his shoulder. “Yes?”
“Thanks for supporting me with Theresa,” she said slowly. “If you hadn’t, I don’t think she would have let me stay on. I owe you one, Simon, big time.”
You owe me, Simon. Don’t leave like this. You owe me!
He blanched, echoes of his disastrous relationship with Erica reverberating through his mind. “No! You don’t owe me anything,” His tone came across more harshly than he’d intended. “Nothing! Understand?”
She stared at him in shock. “No, Simon. I don’t understand. If you don’t want my gratitude, why did you bother sticking up for me in the first place? Out of guilt? I already told you the accident wasn’t your fault. I don’t need your pity. I can handle things just fine on my own.”
“I’m not helping you out of guilt,” he protested, even though he suspected that it was, in fact, part of the reason. He struggled to get a grip. His issues with Erica and his mistakes of the past had nothing to do with Hailey, none of this was her fault. He tried to soften his tone. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Chalk it up to lack of sleep.”
She arched a brow at him, as if she didn’t believe a word he was saying.
He tried to smile but his face felt frozen. “I’ll come back to check on you later, all right?”
“Don’t bother,” she muttered.
He opened his mouth to argue again, and then realized he should quit before he only made matters worse. “I’ll see you later,” he said. He left, closing the office door behind him with a sense of relief.
When he walked back into the arena, he became keenly aware of several curious pairs of eyes focused on him. He stifled the urge to shout at them to mind their own business. But he knew, better than most, how working in the emergency department was equivalent to living in a fishbowl.
That was exactly why he needed to stay away from Hailey.
No matter how desperately he wanted to see her again.
Hailey managed to get some work done, although it wasn’t easy. Simon’s scent permeated the office and while she was undeniably annoyed with him, she couldn’t seem to prise him out of her mind.
Thanks to the ibuprofen he’d brought for her, the sharp pain in her leg had receded to a dull ache. After he’d finally left her alone, she’d gratefully changed into dry scrubs, wincing with the effort. Stupid of her to forget about her broken leg when she’d jumped up from her seat like that. Maybe she was cursed. It certainly seemed as if she was experiencing an unusual run of bad luck.
Once she was dry and feeling a little better, she went back to work, completing several of the chart reviews. One in particular bothered her. It seemed as if one of the physicians had totally missed several key symptoms on a patient, who had returned to the emergency department a couple of days later, only to end up emergently intubated and in the ICU. She placed her notes for that chart review on top, so Simon would see them right away.
When her four hours were up—Theresa had made it clear she could only work four hours a day and not a minute more—she logged off Simon’s computer, feeling at least somewhat of a sense of accomplishment. Certainly completing chart reviews was better than sitting around at home all day, doing nothing.
It wasn’t until she picked up her purse that she remembered Simon had given her a ride to the hospital. And she needed a way to get back home.
After the odd reaction he’d had when she’d tried to thank him earlier, she was loath to seek him out now.
He was obviously afraid she expected something from him. After that kiss down by the lakefront her attempt to thank him for his efforts had freaked him out.
She might be having a run of bad luck, but she wasn’t pathetic enough to think that one kiss between two adults carried any sort of importance.
No, there was no way in the world she was going to wait around for Simon. And because Rachel was working too, her friend wasn’t able to drive her home either.
Mentally she debated her options. Crutch-walking three miles to her apartment was not a smart choice. She’d thought she was in relatively good shape but soon discovered going long distances on crutches made her upper arms ache. She could call a taxi, but taking taxis to and from work each day would defeat the purpose of saving up money in order to pay her rent and the rest of her bills.
Before she’d bought her bike, she’d mapped out the bus routes to and from the hospital. The biggest problem with the bus routes in Cedar Bluff was that they weren’t at the most convenient locations. At least, not for her. The closest bus stop to her apartment was a good four blocks away. And the bus stop here at the hospital was also several blocks down the road. At the time, riding her bike had been the best answer all around.
However, the bus was probably her only viable option now that she couldn’t ride her bike. Surely the more she used the crutches, the more strength she’d gain in her arms?
For a moment she considered going to find Simon to let him know her plans, but she instantly dismissed the idea. He’d said he’d come back to check on things, but he hadn’t.
No doubt, he was looking for ways to avoid being alone with her. She understood he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea about thei
r…friendship.
She was a capable adult, one who could certainly find her own way home.
The bus stop was located at the farthest corner of the road that came right up to the main lobby, so she left the emergency department through the back way, taking the long, winding corridor down to the main lobby. From there, she slowly made her way down the street to the bus stop. Thankfully it was nice outside, if a little breezy, and not raining.
Impossible to carry an umbrella and use crutches at the same time.
After glancing at her watch, she realized she had no idea when the bus was due to arrive. With a sigh she lowered herself down onto the bus stop bench, grateful to take the pressure off her arms even for a short while.
She had no idea how much of a time lag there was between buses. Thirty minutes? Forty? Surely not more than an hour?
She should have brought something to read. Sitting around doing nothing was going to drive her crazy. An hour would feel like an eternity.
Ten minutes into her wait, a familiar low-slung black car pulled up in the bus lane. The passenger window was lowered, revealing Simon’s dark scowl as he leaned over the passenger seat from the driver’s side to talk to her. “What in the world are you doing out here?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked mildly. “Can’t you see this is a bus stop? If you’re looking for the quality review report, I left it on top of your desk.”
If anything, his scowl deepened. “Hailey, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not here for the stupid report. Get in the car. I’ll drive you home.”
“No, thanks.”
The way Simon scrubbed his hands over his face would have been comical if she weren’t so annoyed with him.
“Hailey, please. I’m going right past your house on my way home. Let me give you a lift.”
She knew she should simply ignore him, but there were already a couple of cars coming up behind Simon, waiting impatiently. Simon completely ignored them, as if he couldn’t care less how he was blocking the lane. One of them leaned on their horn.
Simon didn’t even glance behind him, but waited patiently, looking at her expectantly. When the driver hit the horn the second time, she caved in. “Fine.” She stood up, grabbed her crutches and crossed over the sidewalk to yank open the passenger door. Simon took the crutches from her and tucked them into the backseat as she slid in beside him.
Neither one of them spoke, not a single word, as he drove the few miles to her apartment building. Hailey had to admit that somehow riding in a car with Simon wasn’t bad at all.
Maybe she was slowly getting over her stupid fears.
Even once they’d arrived, Simon simply hauled the crutches out of the backseat, before coming around to help her out of the car.
“You know I would have been fine on the bus,” she said, when Simon followed her up to the front door of the apartment building. “But thanks for the ride.”
She was surprised when he followed her inside and up the elevator to the second floor. When they reached her apartment, he waited patiently as she dug out her keys and then held the door open for her.
She blocked the doorway. “Thanks, Simon, but I’ll be fine from here.”
“I’d like to stay, just for a few minutes, if you’d give me a chance to explain,” he said, finally breaking his prolonged silence.
Exhausted mentally and physically, she was half-tempted to tell him to take a hike. But obviously something was bothering him. She knew, both from personal experience and from Rachel, that Simon was the most even-tempered of the emergency physicians on staff at Cedar Bluff.
Reluctantly, she made her way over to the sofa, sinking gratefully onto the soft cushions. She lightly massaged her upper arms. Simon closed the door behind him, and then took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, as far from her as possible.
“I’m sorry that I’ve been a jerk,” he said, staring down at his feet. “You already know how I was in a relationship that ended badly.”
“Yes.” Hadn’t they already covered this issue? She wasn’t in the mood to regurgitate the past yet again. “And I already explained that I don’t expect anything from you, Simon.”
“I knew you didn’t wait for me because you were mad. And I can’t blame you.”
She held up a hand to stop him. “I’m not mad. And there was no need for you to come and pick me up from the bus stop. I’m perfectly capable of taking the bus to and from work every day.”
“Hailey, give me a moment to explain, would you?” He sounded exasperated.
She rolled her eyes and waved a hand, indicating he should continue.
His resigned gaze met hers. “The relationship I was in before, the one that didn’t end well, involved a nurse. A nurse I worked with closely in the emergency department at Chicago’s Children First Hospital.”
She nodded in understanding. A nurse, a coworker, it explained a lot. She could see why he might be hesitant to go down that route again.
“The worst part of all was that when things ended badly between us,” Simon said slowly as if the words were torn from somewhere deep in his soul, “we didn’t just lose on a personal level, although that was bad enough. But, at least for me, I lost on a professional level as well. Because the horrible way things ended cost me my career.”
CHAPTER TEN
THE moment the words left Simon’s mouth he inwardly swore and wished he could call them back. He’d only intended to make Hailey feel better about why he’d been such a jerk. He hadn’t planned on telling her all the gory details about his past relationship with Erica.
He hadn’t told anyone the full extent of what had transpired.
“What? Your career? How?” Hailey demanded, her beautiful blue eyes snapping fire with outrage on his behalf. The way she jumped to his defense almost made him want to smile. “Just because you broke some sort of no-fraternising policy? That’s ridiculous!”
He hesitated. How much should he tell her? Keeping his dark secret had been an ingrained habit for so long he wasn’t even sure where to begin. Or where to stop. He couldn’t tell her everything, just enough to help her to understand, to explain his behaviour.
“Not because of a policy,” he finally admitted. “I was being groomed for the medical director position, a job I coveted. But one disastrous night my personal life became center stage in the middle of the ED.”
“Oh, no,” she whispered in horror. And she didn’t know the half of it. The personal loss was hard enough, but to have everyone else know about it was far worse.
“The scene was pretty ugly and afterwards my career suffered irreversible damage,” he continued, determined to finish. “My boss pretty much came right out and told me I should look for another position at a different hospital if I wanted to move into a leadership role.” Even now, that painful discussion grated on him. As much as he’d understood where his boss had been coming from, he’d found it impossible to believe his four years of hard work hadn’t counted for more.
Erica had blown his dreams away in a fit of anger.
No, that wasn’t fair. The entire mess had been his fault and no one else’s.
Hailey’s brow puckered into a frown. “I’m surprised you allowed yourself to participate in a fight with your girlfriend in the middle of the unit,” she said frankly. “That’s not at all your style.”
Simon dropped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn’t participated in the fight, other than to try to get Erica out of there when she had started screaming at him so they could talk someplace private. But that had been when she’d turned on him like a wildcat, hitting and scratching, striking out in anger. He’d defended himself the best he could without hurting her, but in the end several nurses had been forced to step in, dragging Erica off him. Just thinking about the humiliation of that night made his gut knot painfully.
He’d handled it all wrong, he could see that so clearly now. Erica hadn’t been emotionally stable, and his breaking things off had only been one issue sending her over the e
dge. Getting his life back on track had been hard enough, but he hadn’t been given the chance to recover once Erica had resorted to other means to make him pay.
In some respects, he was still paying for his mistake.
Would he be forced to pay forever?
“Simon?” Hailey said his name, dragging his thoughts back to the present. “What happened?”
“I was caught off guard,” he admitted. “I wasn’t expecting her to start yelling at me in the middle of the unit, dragging our personal life into the public eye. But in the end it didn’t matter who started what. I took accountability for what happened because I didn’t handle things well enough with her from the very beginning.”
“I see,” Hailey murmured, although he could see dozens of questions reflected in her eyes that showed she really didn’t.
He didn’t want to go into details about Erica with Hailey. Mostly because he was too embarrassed at how far things had spiraled out of control. And the role he’d unwittingly played.
He could see now how his good intentions had only made things worse instead of better.
But the past was over and done with. He just wanted to move on. “I came to Cedar Bluff to start over. It’s a great hospital and a warm, welcoming community. And for once my timing was right on target because the medical director here, George Hanover is about ready to retire and I’ve made it clear I’m interested in replacing him.”
“I’m surprised Dr. Taylor, Dr. Reichert or Dr. Torres aren’t fighting you for the spot,” she pointed out, naming the other younger attending physicians on staff. Seth, Jadon and Quinn were his colleagues but he also considered them his friends. “They’ve been here longer than you and have more seniority.”
Talking about his career was much easier than talking about his personal failures. “They have more seniority here,” he agreed. “But being a medical director is more about management experience than just tenure and I have far more management experience than they do, thanks to my years at Children First in Chicago. I’m already the chairman of the ED quality review committee, which means I work closely with Theresa on cases where we could have done better either from a medical or nursing perspective.”