They settled around the table, Jonathan at the head and Vicki and Isabella on either side of him. Isabella felt his muscled thigh nudge hers under the table and couldn't help but smile up at him. She felt relieved now that she'd had time to think, to decide to give them a chance. She wanted to tell him, but knew that it would have to wait until after dinner.
"So while you guys were outside today, Charlotte called," Vicki said.
Isabella flinched and pulled her leg away from Jon's, suddenly taking a deep interest in her food.
"And said what?" Jonathan asked quietly.
"She'd like to talk about custody, she said."
"Legal custody?"
"That's what it sounded like." Vicki nodded.
"I guess I do need a lawyer," Jonathan said.
Isabella ate the rest of her dinner quietly, feeling as if she'd just been pushed off a soaring cliff, knowing that soon she'd be smashed into the hard-packed ground below.
When dinner was over, she excused herself immediately, casting a guilty glance back at the pile of dishes on the table.
Back in her room, she sat on the bed, staring out the window into the fading light.
It isn't like I didn't know about the baby, she reminded herself. Why should it matter?
But for some reason it did. Isabella didn't resent the baby in any way, didn't feel jealous or angry about the relationship that had created Thomas. But some part of her felt threatened, like he was the one thing that could cause any happiness that she and Jonathan had to unravel. She knew that if he had to choose between Thomas and her, she'd be left out in the cold. She shivered at the thought, feeling the stark memories of other recent losses come flooding back to ice her veins. She didn't know if she could survive that kind of loss again. She knew she was acting erratically, but she felt powerless to stop trying to protect her heart.
She was interrupted from her thoughts by a gentle knock at the door.
"Isabella?" Jonathan's voice came through the closed door. Isabella knew that she had left dinner too suddenly at the mention of Charlotte and the baby.
The door opened, and Isabella stood, lit from behind by the dim light from the window.
"Can we talk for just a minute?" Jonathan asked softly. Looking at him there, his dark eyes brooding, made her want to take him in her arms and pull him to the bed, and take his mind off everything but the way their bodies fit together.
"Sure," she said, stepping back from the door and trying to keep the desire from her voice.
He crossed the room in long strides and sat on the edge of the bed.
She closed the door and sat next to him.
Immediately he scooted closer and took her hands in his own.
"I know that getting involved with someone who's just found out he's a father is probably not your ideal relationship," he said. She could feel him watching her face as he talked, searching for clues about her feelings. "But if you're willing to hang in there, I want you to know that it can work out. There's nothing between Charlotte and me anymore. Thomas is my only concern there, and I just want to make sure that he gets the best life he can, that he's taken care of."
"Of course," Isabella said. "I understand that."
"But my wanting to know him," he said, "doesn't change my desire to be with you. I know that we can figure it out." He paused, scanning her face. "Unless…unless you don't like children?"
"No, no," she smiled. "It isn't like that." She stood and walked back and forth at the foot of the bed. How could she explain to him the huge swings of emotions she'd experienced in just the last few days?
Jonathan was silent, and he watched as she gathered her thoughts.
"It's just that I know that children change things," she began. "And when choices have to be made, parents have to choose their children. And, I know this is selfish…I do. I just…I'm afraid to get too involved, Jonathan. Because a time could come soon where you have to make a choice. And I know that you won't choose me."
Jonathan shook his head. "I don't think that's true, Isabella," he said, his voice low and purring. "I believe that I can have you both in my life, that we could make a life together—I mean, I know its ridiculously premature, but I feel like maybe someday, if you’ll give it a chance, we could make a family. The three of us."
Isabella's head snapped up and she eyed him in the darkness.
"Is that okay?" he asked, his voice tentative and low. "Can we at least leave the opportunity open?"
She sat back down next to him, and sat motionless for a moment.
The room was in darkness now, the only light coming from the red glow of the numbers on the digital clock. The house was quiet as it sat among the rows of vines that surrounded it. Isabella felt like time had stopped.
"What about Charlotte?" she asked.
"I don't know what her plans are. If she goes, I'll do everything I can to keep Thomas here. If she stays, then she'll be a part of his life, too."
Isabella weighed his words. He was speaking like a mature adult, making reasonable assumptions. She could find no reason to disbelieve him.
"I'm willing to try," Isabella said finally, her voice small. “But one day at a time. I can barely think past the tip of my nose. Let’s just focus on now.”
At her words, Jonathan wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly. Her body was immediately alight with her need for him, every cell thrumming with energy. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling more vulnerable than she had in the last month—since she'd been forced to grow up fast. It was nice to allow herself to feel secure, her body melting into his.
Jonathan stood and stepped away from the bed, but even in the near-darkness Isabella could see that she had a similar effect on him. His jeans bulged in front and it took every inch of self-restraint that she had not to pull him back to her and unfasten his jeans. She pushed her hands beneath her to stop them from acting without her permission.
"Goodnight, Isabella," he said smiling. "I'll see you in the morning." He let himself out of the room, leaving her sitting in the dark.
Isabella sat in darkness for a long time after Jonathan had left. She let his words play over and over in her mind, taking comfort there. It would be okay, she decided, to take a chance. To let herself fall. She decided to trust Jonathan, as she hadn't trusted anyone in a long while, to let him know her.
She went to bed that night feeling an unfamiliar sense of security flood through her. Some part of her felt like maybe, finally, she had found her place in the world.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jonathan
Jonathan called Theo and Annette the next morning when Isabella had gone out to the barn. Because Annette was a lawyer, he knew that she would be able to refer him to a lawyer who could handle his case with Thomas and Charlotte. The only problem was that he didn't really know what he wanted from the matter.
"I recommend you speak with the mother again, to find out what she has in mind," said Mr. Page, the family law attorney Annette referred him to.
"I will, Mr. Page," Jonathan said. "I'll be in touch soon."
Jonathan's next call was to Charlotte.
"Hello?" Jonathan felt relieved when she answered the phone herself.
"Char," he said.
"Hi Jon." Her voice was weak, tired.
"You okay?" He didn't want to care, but she sounded worn thin.
"I guess so. It's hard, you know, being here at my parents' place. The baby. Everything."
Charlotte was a woman of strong opinions, who was used to having her way. Jonathan could imagine that being back under her mother's roof was probably very difficult.
"I can imagine," he said. "Hey, Vicki said you called about legal stuff."
She was silent a minute. "Yes," she said quietly.
Jonathan waited for her to continue, but she was silent.
"Char?" he said finally, hoping she would go on.
"Jon, can I come over for a bit? We can talk in person."
"Bring Thomas?" Jonathan found
himself smiling at the thought of holding the baby again. He hoped that maybe he could introduce him to Isabella, and to his Aunt.
"Of course," she said. "Around lunchtime?"
"That'd be great," he said. "I'll let Vick know."
"See you then," Charlotte said.
Jonathan put down the phone, surprised at his own eagerness to see Thomas again.
He found Vicki in the kitchen and told her they'd be having lunch guests, then went out to the barn, ignoring his sister's raised eyebrow.
The baking sun was doing its work out in the vines, and Jonathan ducked low to watch for a moment as Isabella went about her work with apparent satisfaction. She stood among the rows of ripening grapes, letting handfuls of the dry rocky soil fall through her fingers. As she stretched her back, she caught Jonathan watching from down the row.
"Hello, Mr. Sauvage," she said when he was close enough to hear. His body trilled at the sight of her, as she stood with the sun gleaming in the dark wild hair and her pale skin practically glowing.
"Miss DaSilva," he said, his smile growing.
He took her in his arms and lifted her feet off the ground as he kissed her. As Jonathan put her down, he noticed Robert watching from the other side of the row, a smile on his dark face. Jonathan smiled back at him, feeling unabashedly happy for the first time in a long time.
"You finally gonna get your hands dirty with us out here?" she teased.
"Hey, I get plenty dirty," he said. "This is looking good." He lifted a cluster of grapes in his palm, pulled one off and rolled it between his fingers. "Damn, these are ripening fast," he noted. He put the grape in his mouth and burst the fruit with his eyes closed, letting the juice spill over his tongue. It was much sweeter than he'd anticipated. He raised his eyebrows and looked at her.
"I told you I think we'll have an early harvest out here," she said.
"You're right."
"That's why you're paying me the big bucks, right?" Isabella smiled at him.
"Hey Iz," he said. "Will you be able to come in for lunch today?"
He could see her surprise. He knew that she normally ran in to grab some fruit and chicken, but there was always so much to be done in the vineyard that no one really had a proper lunch very often. Château Sauvage was an unmechanized winery in most ways. Jonathan's father had been from the old world and he believed that machine harvested grapes suffered in the treatment, making less than optimal wine. The grapes benefitted from being cut from the vine by hand, and a more uniform product resulted as human selection and elimination of less ripe or overripe grapes came into play.
"Sure, if you think we can afford the time," she said.
"I want you to meet someone. Charlotte's bringing Thomas around today," Jonathan explained quickly. "Will you come in and meet him?"
He was so excited at the thought of introducing Isabella to Thomas that he didn't consider much else. But it was clear from Isabella's reaction that she did consider that the situation might be awkward.
She pushed at a few locks of hair that had matted into the sweat around the edges of her face, paling with concern.
"I . . . Okay," she answered slowly.
"It'll be fine," he assured her, putting his hand on her arm. He wanted to comfort her, to assure her that there was nothing between him and Charlotte. Except a child. And as he considered telling her that, he realized the absurdity of it.
She put her hand on his, and offered a faltering smile. "Okay," she said again.
They worked side by side for a few hours, pulling leaves and twisting up the vines that had escaped the trellis, tasting grapes as they went. Isabella smiled easily again, laughing with Jonathan and Robert as they worked, and with each peal of laughter that she let float into the sultry warm air, Jonathan’s heart grew more sure that she was the perfect woman for him.
It appeared that she had almost recovered her confidence when Jonathan said, "Time to head in for lunch," and stood, brushing his hands against his pants to wipe off the dust and grime.
She straightened, and followed him down the row to the ATV. They slipped on, pressing their bodies together tightly as Jonathan steered the vehicle back to the barn.
Jonathan waited for Isabella to unwrap herself from him before he slid off the ATV outside the barn.
"Dammit, Iz," he breathed softly.
She looked at him with arched eyebrow, and he gestured subtly to the straining bulge in his pants.
"Just being near you," he breathed in her ear as he put an arm around her and they walked together toward the kitchen. Feeling her body pressed against his as they flew through the vineyard made him want to push her into the barn right then, but Charlotte's car was parked out in front of the house.
"Deep breaths, Mr. Sauvage," she smiled. "Think of baseball. Isn't that the advice?"
"Right."
They were laughing as they went into the kitchen, but Isabella's body went tense as soon as they were inside. Charlotte sat on the bench at the kitchen table, the baby on her lap, facing Vicki who was bustling around the kitchen.
Without consciously thinking about it, Jonathan pulled his arms back to his sides, putting distance between him and Isabella. Only once he'd done it did it register consciously, and then it was too late to put his arm back around her waist. She looked tense and uncomfortable, and he cursed himself for adding to her discomfort.
"Charlotte," he said. "How are you?"
"I'm okay, Jon," she said, smiling weakly, her blue eyes watery and her face pale.
"This is Isabella, she's..."
"I've just been hearing all about her," Charlotte said, offering Isabella the same thin smile.
"It's nice to meet you," Isabella said in a low voice. "I'm just going to go get washed up."
Jonathan watched as Isabella's tall frame slid from the kitchen. He kicked himself. Maybe he should have just let her stay out in the field. Why had he wanted to drag her into this?
He went to the sink to wash his hands, and then sat at the corner of the table, his eyes on the baby.
"Would you like to…"
Jonathan's hands were out to receive his son before Charlotte could even finish the sentence.
As Vicki put plates down around the table with fruit and chicken, Jonathan walked his fingers up the baby’s chest, smiling down at him.
Thomas smiled and gurgled.
"It almost sounds like a laugh," Jonathan said, his heart swelling.
"He's just started giggling," Charlotte said, pride filling her tired voice. "He likes this, watch." She leaned over the bundle in Jonathan's arms, shaking her head and making a silly face. "Googly, googly," she teased.
The baby erupted in gurgles and Jonathan laughed.
"He's adorable," came Isabella's voice from the doorway.
Jonathan hadn't noticed her come back in. She stood, leaning against the doorframe as if for support, watching him and Charlotte with their heads close together, entertaining their son.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Isabella
Isabella had tried to talk herself down as she scrubbed the dirt from her hands and attempted to tame her hair in the bathroom.
"There's nothing between them now," she whispered quietly. "He wants to be with you."
She looked up into the mirror, trying to find some confidence there. After a few deep breaths, she dried her hands and made her way back to the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway.
The baby was in Jonathan's arms, his back to her. Isabella paused for a moment in the doorway to watch him. Charlotte saw her there, and within seconds, her head was inclined over Jonathan's lap, teasing the baby and making him laugh. It was hard enough to watch what looked like a happy family, but had she seen a glint of purpose in Charlotte's weak eyes just before she began playing with the baby?
Isabella's stomach turned as she took in the scene before her.
They are a family, she thought. I can’t interfere with their chance to be together. It wouldn't be fair to Thomas. There's no plac
e for me here. Maybe Jonathan doesn't realize it yet, but there can never be room for me here.
Just then, Vicki took her hand and smiled up into her face, her eyes full of understanding.
"Come have lunch," Vicki said, pulling her toward the table. She sat her on the other side of Jonathan, who was at the head. Vicki seated herself next to Isabella, instead of in her usual spot at the other end.
"Where are you from, Isabella?" Charlotte asked her, looking away from Jon and the baby.
"I grew up out East," Isabella said. "I'm here from Cornell."
"Ah, yes, you're a student," Charlotte nodded.
"Technically not now, but yes, I was," Isabella confirmed.
"And you're here to soak up Jonathan's knowledge?" There was some sarcasm in the thin voice.
"I am," Isabella said.
"More like share her knowledge with me," Jonathan said, smiling at Isabella.
Their eyes locked, and Isabella felt a jolt go through her, warmth flood her as if he'd put his arms around her. He kept his warm gaze on her as he said, "Isabella is going to help put Château Sauvage on the map. I think we make a pretty good team." He smiled at her and then looked at Charlotte.
Charlotte responded by picking at the fruit on her plate, looking like a forlorn child.
"The baby is beautiful," Isabella said, smiling at Charlotte, her confidence bolstered.
"Thank you," Charlotte said quietly. She seemed to be thinking about something as she pushed food around on her plate.
"I think he's tuckered out," Jonathan said.
The baby's eyes were drifting closed.
"You can put him in the carrier," Charlotte said, indicating the baby carrier she'd put down in the corner.
"No, that's okay," Jonathan said.
Isabella watched him. He held the baby in one arm and ate with his free hand, stealing glances at his sleeping son and at her. For a moment she imagined that no one else was in the room; that this was her family. Her heart filled, but she felt the warm glow sift out of her as she reminded herself that this was not her place. She reminded herself that letting things develop with Jonathan would only serve to hurt him in the end. He needed to choose his family. Thomas would need both his parents.
A Rare Vintage (Wine Country Romance) Page 9