‘What?’
I glance back to see three glowing spheres hovering above our pop-up tent.
‘Killer robots!’ Dad shouts as a silent explosion of light engulfs the clearing. When the flash fades the tent is gone. ‘Run!’
BZZZT!
‘These robots are sent by the Cosmic Authority,’ Dad whispers, keeping a tight grip on my arm as we hurry through the woods. ‘Programmed to detect and eliminate any alien life forms found on this world.’
‘Who is this Cosmic Authority?’ I hiss, flinching as a leaf crunches noisily beneath my feet. I glance back to see if the strange lights are following us, but all I can see are the shadows of the trees.
‘The Cosmic Authority enforces the laws of the universe,’ Dad explains. ‘Following these rules, every alien civilization has managed to live in harmony for millions of years. But if the Cosmic Authority catches any aliens breaking the law, then bzzzt!’
I shiver as I remember the silent explosion of light that engulfed the tent and wonder what it would have felt like if we’d been inside.
‘These are the things that vaporized my spaceship and they would have vaporized me too if I hadn’t used the Quintessence to disguise myself as a human being. That’s what these probes are looking for now – any biological signs of alien life.’
Peering ahead into the darkness, Dad silently motions for me to follow him as he starts to climb the track. Through the tree branches, I catch glimpses of the stars and try not to imagine the gaze of the Cosmic Authority, searching for us in the woods.
I still can’t believe that everything my dad’s been telling me is true. That aliens really exist. And even crazier than this, that he’s one too.
My heart jumps as a beam of blue-white light cuts through the trees, only metres away from where we were just standing. Static crackles through the air as we turn and run. Glancing back over my shoulder, I catch a glimpse of a glowing sphere zigzagging through the trees. Its phosphorescence fills the forest with strange shadows. It looks like one of these killer robots is right on our trail.
‘What’s it doing?’ I ask, struggling to keep ahead of the light as the path climbs even higher.
‘It’s trying to get a fix on our bio-data,’ Dad explains, fiddling with the egg-shaped stone in his hand as he runs. ‘Scanning for any trace of alien DNA.’
‘But you said you used that device to reprogram your biology. If you’ve got human DNA now, why’s it still following you?’
‘It’s not following me,’ Dad replies as another blue-white beam crackles through the trees. ‘It’s following you.’
I glance back in fear, the glowing sphere shining brighter as the path starts to clear. It’s getting closer and I feel every hair on my head standing on end. This doesn’t make any sense. I’m from planet Earth, not Proxima b.
That’s when everything Dad’s been trying to tell me suddenly clicks into place in my head. Why gravity isn’t anything to be scared of and the reason my skin turned bright green.
If my dad’s an alien, what does that make me?
The path ahead is coming to an end and I see a large sign that says, ‘FEEL THE SPHERE!’
‘This way,’ Dad says, pushing past a metal gate as the blue-white light flashes again.
As shock waves roll inside my brain, I stumble forward. I don’t want to feel the sphere, but I’ve got no choice.
Following Dad through the gate, I suddenly see several large round shapes looming in the gloom. For one terrifying moment I think these are more killer robots, super-sized and hiding in the dark. But then I realize what they are.
‘Zorbs!’
They look like giant hamster balls, squashed together behind the gate.
‘Quick,’ Dad says, grabbing hold of the nearest one and angling it towards me. ‘Climb in.’
I stare into the hole on the side of the inflatable zorb as Dad holds it steady. There’s no other way in and no time to argue as another blue-white beam cuts through the trees. Springing forward on my toes, I jump through the hole and slither inside the zorb. I scramble to my feet as Dad slides through the hole behind me, the transparent plastic squeaking as I try to stop myself from falling over.
‘What are we doing?’ I hiss, the sound of my voice almost too loud inside the enclosed space. ‘I don’t think this is a good time to go zorbing.’
Through the transparent plastic I can see the bright shapes of more glowing spheres hovering above the trees.
I glance back at my dad who’s staring down at the pebble in the palm of his hand.
‘Hiding,’ he replies. ‘The thick layer of compressed air inside this zorb should disguise our bio-data signals for a while. Long enough to get this thing working again, I hope.’
The faint lights of the Quintessence flicker with a pale pink glow.
‘What’s up with it?’
‘When you activated the quantum flare, you drained the power cell,’ Dad explains, gently stroking the pebble as if encouraging it back to life. ‘If I can get the harmonic modulating circuit running, I’ll be able to keep you safe – but I need more power.’
I look around to see if I can find something that will help. There are rubber straps, Velcro belts and handholds for passengers to grab on to, but I can’t see any sign of a charging point for this piece of alien technology.
I’m about to ask my dad what he needs when a sudden flash of blue-white light almost blinds me. I screw my eyes shut against the glare, but when I open them again I see a trio of glowing spheres hovering outside the zorb.
They’ve found us.
I WANT TO GET OFF
Close up they look more like robots, silvery metallic shapes glinting inside the spheres of glowing light.
Fear coils inside my mind as I stare into the brightness. I want to move. I want to run. But we’re trapped inside this inflatable idiot ball and there’s nothing I can do.
There’s a crackle of static and then I feel the air start to harden around us.
I turn towards my dad and see the look of panic spreading across his face too. Outside the inflatable globe, the three glowing spheres seem to brighten and I wince as I wait for the silent explosion of light. Dad said we’d find an A to Z of adventure here, but I didn’t think this would mean being zapped by aliens while trapped in a zorb. Then I remember – it’s my dad who’s the alien, and maybe me too, but we’re still stuck inside this zorb.
Suddenly an idea hits me out of nowhere; a lightning flash of inspiration that gets me reaching for the dangling straps. We don’t need to get out of here to escape – we just need to move.
‘Hold on tight,’ I shout, poking my toes into the rubber footholds at the base of the zorb. I pull the Velcro belts across my shoulders and my stomach, pulling them tight as I try to strap myself in.
Realizing what I’m doing, Dad does the same. Facing each other, we grab hold of the handles on the opposite sides of the zorb’s inner core, our arms and legs outstretched as we stand there defenceless. Through the transparent plastic, the blue-white light seems brighter than the moon and if we’re going to do it, it has to be now.
‘Let’s go!’
Holding tight to the handles, we rock our bodies backwards and forwards as, with a reluctant squeaking noise, the zorb begins to move. It starts to roll forward, slowly at first, pushing open the metal gate as I feel myself turned upside down. The blood rushes to my head and then drains away almost immediately as the zorb continues to roll. I can hear the ground rumbling beneath us as the brightness fades away and is replaced by an onrushing dark.
We’re picking up speed, the inflatable plastic squelching around us as the zorb careers down the slope. I seem to have left my stomach behind as the floor of the zorb turns into the ceiling and then back into the floor, over and over again. I feel like I’m spinning around a black hole, the gravity getting stronger as the giant ball bounces past the trees.
I want to get off.
My knuckles whiten as I cling to the handles, my mouth op
ening wide in a scream. But no sound comes out as I’m flipped over again and gravity pushes the scream back down my throat. I’ve made a mistake – being zapped by killer robots would’ve been a quicker way to die.
I catch a glimpse of my dad as we tumble over again and I see the massive grin on his face.
‘WHEEEEEEEE!’
I don’t believe it. He’s actually enjoying this!
Every bump in the track sends the zorb flying higher. It feels like we’re travelling at one hundred miles an hour, and through the plastic walls the darkness seems to blur. I don’t know which way is up or down any more. The only thoughts left inside my head are a spin cycle of fear.
‘Woo-hoo!’ Dad shouts. ‘Eat zorb dust, killer robots!’
The inflatable ball crashes into a bank, bouncing sideways as it clears the trees, and I catch a glimpse of the tents in the field.
Oh no. How are we going to stop?
Gravity takes control of my trousers as the zorb picks up speed again. Through the translucent plastic I see lights spiralling past and then a dark shape looms out of the gloom. There’s no way to avoid it as zorbs don’t come fitted with brakes. Or a steering wheel. Basically, we’re just going to bounce to our deaths. The words escape my lips in a high-pitched squeak.
‘We’re going to crash!’
SPLAT!
With a thumping jolt, the zorb squashes the tent flat. I feel the Velcro belts straining at my chest as our giant hamster ball of death caroms forward towards its final destination.
The campfire has been built in front of the yurt. As the world spins wildly round, I glimpse the dads and kids milling around the fire. I imagine before we crashed through the tent they were happily toasting their flying saucer marshmallows, but as the zorb bounces forward they now seem to be running and screaming in fear.
The zorb is speeding straight for the campfire and I realize I’m going to have to add being toasted to death to my list of ways in which this zorb is trying to kill me.
Straight ahead, I see Flip Foxley waving his arms wildly as he tries to get us to stop. His mouth seems to be moving, but I can’t hear any words above the rumble of the zorb as we bounce forward across the grass.
‘Get out of the way!’ I shout.
For a second, Flip stands his ground, arms outstretched as though he thinks he can catch us. Then he seems to think better of this, diving to one side as the zorb hits a hummock and then soars straight over him.
A strange feeling of weightlessness comes over me as I watch the world tumbling by. Inside the zorb, Dad and I are spinning in a perfect orbit, the space between us disappearing as we fly through the air. Then I glimpse the roaring flames of the campfire and realize this is going to be rather a toasty landing.
But before we hit, a blinding light illuminates the zorb. I shut my eyes against the sudden glare and, when I dare to open them again, I see that we’re hanging suspended in the air. Beneath my feet, I can see the flames of the campfire, but as I look up towards the sky, I see a blue-white beam slicing through the core of the zorb.
We haven’t got away.
DON’T PANIC!
‘Don’t panic!’ Dad shouts as the compressed air splutters out with a sound like an elephant’s fart. ‘I’ve got this all under control.’
Wriggling free from the straps, I stare at him in horror as the blue-white beam cuts the air between us. The zorb is being sliced in two, each half slowly deflating as we’re both held suspended in the light.
This must be some kind of tractor beam, but as I stare up into the blinding light I can’t see where it’s coming from.
‘Jake!’
Glancing down, I see Damon and Amba running towards the campfire. Behind them, Flip is still picking himself up off the muddy ground, whilst everybody else stares up at the sky with their mouths open wide and camera phones held high.
‘Keep back,’ I shout. ‘It’s not safe.’
Actually, if I’m completely honest, being held prisoner in a tractor beam feels a teensy bit safer than zorbing through a forest at night with killer robots on your trail. But I still feel kind of worried about what’s going to happen next.
I glance across at Dad who’s fiddling with his device, seemingly unconcerned that he’s currently hovering in mid-air on a deflating inflatable above a roaring campfire.
‘What are you doing? What’s happening?’
‘I’m trying to get this to work,’ he says, grappling with the egg-shaped stone as the lights on its surface flicker greyly. ‘Then we’ll be able to—’
A deafening sound cuts off the rest of his sentence.
DUN – DUN – DUUUN – DUUUNNNN – DUN!
I clap my hands to my ears, trying to block out the noise that seems to be falling from the sky.
‘What’s that?’
Dad mouths a reply but I can’t hear his words as my ears are still ringing.
Beneath our feet, the deflated halves of the zorb slowly drift to the ground, smothering the flames of the campfire with a fizzling hiss. But we’re still floating in mid-air, the blinding blue-white light flickering between us as if trying to make up its mind.
I stare up again, into the brightness, but I still can’t see where this light is coming from. There are no stars in the sky, just an empty blackness broken only by this single beam. Then I realize the darkness isn’t empty. There’s something huge up there and it’s filling the sky.
Then the rest of its lights come on.
‘Wow!’
It looks just like the Easter Egg spaceship that Dad built at the school fete, but so, so much bigger. Its curving hull shimmers with countless points of lights, every single one of them dazzlingly bright. A galaxy of stars shines down out of the sky. But there is no sky any more, only this endless spaceship of glittering lights that looks as big as the world.
In the distance I can hear a dog barking, then the deafening tones sound out again.
DUN – DUN – DUUUN – DUUUNNNN – DUN!
The tractor beam is coming from the bottom of the spaceship, the blue-white rays now transformed into a rainbow of light.
‘That’s it!’ Dad shouts as the colours fly around us. He holds up the Quintessence, the starry lights on its surface now shining with the same brightness as before. ‘It’s working again.’
But as he speaks I feel my fingers prickle with a strange sensation. Glancing down at my hands, I see a shimmering rainbow scrolling across my skin. I try to pull them out of the light, but find I can’t move my hands. Horrified, I watch as the rainbow rays slowly start to crawl up my arms.
‘Dad,’ I shout, looking across to him for help. ‘What’s happening?’
He’s standing in the same shimmering light, the shiny silver material of his ski suit now glittering with every colour under the sun.
‘Inside the zorb, our bio-data signals were mingled,’ Dad explains as he desperately twists the Quintessence between his fingers. ‘They’re scanning us again to find out who’s the alien. And I’m going to show them that it’s me.’ He winces as the tiny device suddenly flares with a dazzling light. ‘Catch.’
He tosses the egg-shaped pebble towards me. I watch as it cuts a silvery trail through the shimmer that surrounds us both now. Gritting my teeth, I thrust my hand forward to pluck the device out of the air before it falls past my fingers.
It feels strangely heavier than before. Close up, I can see that the dazzling light is made up of countless tiny stars. It looks like I’m holding the universe in the palm of my hand.
And then it starts.
I’m still trapped inside this shimmering rainbow, but something is happening to me. I feel like a jigsaw tipped out on to the floor, but where every piece of the puzzle is landing in exactly the right place. It’s like every cell inside my body is singing a new melody, but the song somehow remains the same.
‘Dad!’
‘Don’t worry, Jake!’ Dad shouts, sagging slightly as the shimmering beam still holds him in its light. ‘It’ll realize tha
t you’re human now. I’m the one they’re after.’
The beam of light dances between us, its colours constantly flickering blue, green, violet, orange, indigo, yellow and red. It’s as though it can’t decide what’s right. And then the light that surrounds me suddenly turns a brilliant white and I feel myself dropped to the ground.
I land on the muddy grass, feeling my feet squelch as I look up to see my dad still held captive in the shimmering beam.
That’s when I realize what he’s done.
I’m still holding the Quintessence in my hand and I remember how Dad said this kept him safe when he first landed here on Earth. ‘I went undercover as a human being. The harmonic modulating circuit reprogrammed my biology.’ That’s why he had to get it working again. He’s used it to change himself back.
DUN – DUN – DUUUN – DUUUNNNN – DUN!
The same deafening tones roll down from the sky, but this time these sounds turn to words inside my head.
CAUTION! SPACESHIP REVERSING!
CAUTION! SPACESHIP REVERSING!
I glance down at the Quintessence and remember what else Dad said that it did. ‘This device is equipped with a universal translator.’ This must be why I can understand alien now.
‘Jake!’ Dad’s voice sounds strained as he calls down to me. ‘There’s not much time left.’
I glance up again to see the shimmering beam has now turned to a sickly-green colour. And trapped inside this unearthly light, my dad seems to be turning into something else.
It’s difficult to see exactly what’s happening, the light almost blinding me. But Dad’s skin now seems to be as green as this shimmering beam. I hold my breath, almost frightened to watch what happens next, but then I catch a glimpse of his face through the light and I realize . . .
He’s still my dad.
I tighten my grip on the Quintessence. I’ve got to get this back to him. He’s got to use it to disguise himself again.
Space Oddity Page 5