Carson kisses my hand. “We’ll have to find a new hobby to try.”
“Yeah? Like what?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Like chess or checkers.”
I grin at him. “Seriously? Chess?”
He laughs. “Hey, it’s something, right?”
It is something. I remember Lucas’s words. Learn something new. I’ll keep those words in mind in the coming years. I can do anything I put my mind to. And I’m sure I’ll think of something great.
Carson’s already on his way. He applied for an internship with Jo and signed up for his first semester of college in the fall. And his dad is supporting him. After the accident, his dad changed his mind about a few things. School, the shop, even me.
I wrap my arms around his waist and let out a peaceful sigh. I have everything I need right now. I’m in love with a boy who loves me back. I’m slowly picking up the pieces and putting my old self back together. Mom and I are on really good terms and Dad and I speak regularly. I’ve even drafted a few letters to my friends back home, though I haven’t sent any yet. It will take time, I know, but in this moment, I’m content with where my life is heading.
I’ll figure everything else out later.
CHAPTER 29
Dear Lucas,
It’s kind of strange, writing you when you aren’t here, but I had to do it. You have no idea how much your letters mean to me. I read one every day, even though I already know what they say. It brings me more comfort than you could ever imagine.
You were right. About everything. Especially the part where you said I’d miss you.
I miss you. It’s true. It seems like yesterday we were skipping second period and going to Wendy’s for Frosties. I always loved going with you and your friends. You always made me feel like I was your friend and not just your sister. Thanks for that.
I took your advice and told someone I loved him. And you know what? He loves me back. It’s weird, and new and scary, but I’m welcoming it the best I can. We’re good for each other. And he reminds me of you a little.
I’m sure you know about Mom and Dad getting divorced. It’s been hard, but I’m slowly accepting it. Mom and I are doing well. We’re working things out. Talking. Making up for lost time. Dad’s good, too, though I don’t see him as much as I’d like.
I’m figuring out what to do with college. I think I’m going to be a vet. I haven’t decided for sure yet, but Aunt Jo said she could help me with some college applications and internships and stuff. It sounds promising. I’ve always loved animals. Oh, and I’m moving to Huntington Beach permanently. Just me and Mom. It will be a new adventure for us both. And no, I didn’t decide to move there because of a guy.
There are so many things I want to say to your face. Like how I wish you could come see Jo’s facility. You would love it. Or sit on the beach and watch the sunset with me. We would roast marshmallows and eat s’mores. But somehow, I can feel you with me. I know you’re around, watching and rooting for me. I’m starting to move forward with my life, but like you said, I won’t forget the past. It’s too much a part of me to just let it go.
I hope you’re enjoying your new adventure. I’m sure you are. I love and miss you every day. Thanks for always believing in me. I love you.
Love, Oakley
I set the letter next to Lucas’s headstone and back away. Mom is on my right side with Dad on my left. For one small moment, we’re all together. As a family.
Things won’t ever be the same, I know that now, but at least I have this moment.
My life isn’t perfect. It never will be. But I know I’m going to be okay. Trials make us stronger. Little by little. We just have to keep going and not give up hope. Just like Lucas said. As long as I have hope, everything will work out.
Dad gives me a squeeze and moves away, leaving Mom and me alone. She puts her arm around me. “We’re going to be okay.”
I nod, tears brimming my eyes. “I know.” And I do.
She turns us both around and we walk back toward the car. Dad’s waiting for us, with Carson by his side. They both smile at me and when I reach them, Carson takes my hand in his.
“Dad, will you join us for some ice cream before we head back to California?” I ask.
He looks at Mom and she gives him a small nod.
“I’d love to.”
As we drive away, I squeeze Carson’s hand as I look out the window. My eyes find Lucas’s grave and the white and yellow flowers I left there. Maybe it was stupid to leave a letter with it when I know he’ll never read it. I smile. Or maybe, just maybe, he already has.
Love, Lucas Page 20