by June Sproat
Chapter Fourteen
“I wish when someone says they are sorry, certain people wouldn’t hold grudges for three years. Yes, I am talking to you, Danielle.” — Janey Reming
I got a reprieve! Yep, when Mr. Blaneth saw I couldn’t write, he gave me an extra day to take the test. Now I just had to let Steve know I had extra time to study. I headed to the science lab and planned to apologize for yesterday and then get in as much tutoring as possible.
Only, when I walked into the lab I didn’t see Steve.
“Where’s Steve?” I asked the lady at the little desk.
“He’s not here today. However, there’s a substitute tutor for you. It’s John Schuster, and he’s sitting, oh where did he go? There, at the last table,” she pointed her pencil across the room.
My heart fell into my stomach. This was not a good thing. This was not supposed to happen. I mean I had it all planned out. Since I hadn’t seen Steve in the morning or at lunch, and this was the only other time I saw him, this is when I planned to clear everything up.
How was I going to apologize to him if he wasn’t even going to show up for the apology?
How was I going to tell him that I understood why he called me a snob and tell him I really wasn’t like that?
I walked over to John. I knew him because he was in my English class. Yep, he was a sophomore just like me. He was, however, way smarter than me, which is why he’s in the lab. Being a tutor I mean, and I was the tutoree.
Tutoree…is that even a word?
I sat down with John and tried to concentrate on Chemistry, but all I could think about was Steve and how I really hate coming to the science lab and actually having to smell science stuff instead of Steve. “Kate, we’re five minutes over. If you want, I can stay with you longer, but I have to check and see if I have anyone else coming in,” John said.
“Um, no thanks, I’m good,” I said and got up to leave. “Oh, will Steve be back tomorrow or is this permanent? You being the tutor, I mean?”
“No, he’ll be here. He asked me on Monday to sub for him today. He didn’t say anything about it being permanent,” John said.
“Oh, thanks,” I said and left.
So he knew yesterday that he wouldn’t be here and he never said a word about it. He knew I had this test today or at least I was supposed to have the test today. He knew he wouldn’t be here, and he never said a word. I guess my tutoring really isn’t all that important to him.
I guess after what he said about me being a snob just maybe I’m not that important either.
****
The next afternoon I stepped out of the lunch line and looked over at the jock table. I hoped Steve was there. He wasn’t. If he had been there, I was going to apologize. That was all. Apologize and leave.
I also happened to notice that Becky was missing, too. Not that I was looking for her, it’s just she usually sits near him, so I just happened to notice it.
Then I did something I hadn’t done in a week. I turned away from the jock table, swallowed hard and sat down between Peter and James. Ellen and Jodi were across the table.
“So, what’s new?” I ignored the fact that their jaws had dropped open. Well not Jodi’s, she just smiled.
“Um, we were just discussing Global Warming,” Ellen said.
“And, how the human factor is ruining our future,” Peter added.
“And don’t leave out the corporations who are slowly destroying the environment,” James said. “Which, of course, means we will all be dead by the time this really becomes a problem,” Jodi said throwing in her two cents.
This felt good. This was exactly what I needed. Jodi smiled at me again and asked if she could have my pudding cup.
“Sure,” I and handed it over feeling good for the first time in days.
****
Mr. Blaneth arranged for me to take my Chemistry test in the library where I could be under the watchful eye of Mrs. Stapleton, the librarian.
Okay, I told myself, I can do this. I know this stuff. I’ve been reviewing for a week and even though I was paying more attention to Steve then his tutoring, some of it had to have gotten into my brain. I mean they say you can learn stuff even while you’re sleeping.
I know; I Googled it. Apparently lots of people learn things like foreign languages by playing tapes while they sleep. So why couldn’t I have learned this stuff while I was, well, daydreaming?
I sat down at one of the tables and took a deep breath. But before I could even start on the test, I heard it. It was a giggle, but not just any giggle. I looked up and sitting at a table off to the right were Steve and bimbolina Becky.
Yes, bimbolina. That was the name Jodi had given her after the party last Friday night. Jodi picked that name for her after we found out that the second guy who showed up at the party was actually Becky’s boyfriend, who didn’t want to go to the party so he blew Becky off. So I guess she, meaning Becky, felt she would get even with him by fooling around with another guy.
Well, as it turned out, her boyfriend showed up at the party, caught her in the act, and that’s when the trouble started. He’d changed his mind and decided to show up at the party for Becky, and what did he get for it? A broken nose and broken heart, because she dumped him, or at least that’s what I heard.
And to think I risked myself to help her out that night. Was I ever stupid!
So anyway, bimbolina and Steve were laughing, like she could have anything amusing to say. Then she started playing with his hair! She toyed with the little bit of hair above his ear. It actually looked kind of funny, because the way she flicked her finger looked more like she was flicking something out of his hair.
This didn’t seem to bother him one bit. Not like I cared or anything. I mean if he wanted to make a fool of himself with bimbolina, more power to him! He is after all, just my tutor. Well after this test, he won’t be my tutor anymore. I was either going to pass and not need a tutor anymore or I was totally going to bomb and he would be considered a failure as a tutor.
And would probably hate me.
Oh yeah, either way things look just great!
I looked over again. Now his hand was on her back, just like when he walked me downstairs to the nurse. He didn’t rub her back though, like he did to me. On bimbolina, his hand was more or less just there, like it was stuck.
Oh God, what if he was feeling for her bra strap? Is that what he had done to me?
No, he was genuinely concerned about me. He was really worried that I was hurt, right?
Yeah, keep believing that! Didn’t he call me a snob after that?
Yeah he was worried. Not.
I know that this is a library and people are supposed to whisper, but did they have to sit that close? I wish I could read lips. Of course, I don’t think I really wanted to know what they were saying. I mean it’s not like it could have been a very stimulating conversation. Not with all that laughing going on.
And then, he looked at me. I mean, I saw him look over this way. I couldn’t miss those brown eyes, but I looked down really fast.
Maybe he didn’t see me?
Of course, he saw me. I tried to concentrate.
The formula for…oh who was I kidding? I couldn’t think about Chemistry, not while they were over there whooping it up! Well, maybe not whooping it up exactly, but certainly having a good time. I mean, why is he with her anyway? She just doesn’t seem like his type. Not that I really know his type, but if he was interested in her, why hasn’t he dated her before? I’ve never really seen them together, except for at lunch, but then at lunch, everyone’s together.
Then I remembered that neither Steve nor Becky were at lunch.
Oh, my God. What if that’s where Steve was headed on Monday when I smashed my finger and ran into him in the hall?
Maybe he was going to meet Becky after class? Maybe they were going out?
How could he do that to me? Act like he was interested in me, act so nice and concerned, and the whole time he was in
terested in bimbolina?
What a pig! Creep!
I looked over at them. They were whispering again. I think she was doing that on purpose so that when he bent over to hear her whisper in his ear his face was right at her chest.
Bimbolina, definitely bimbolina.
I couldn’t watch anymore of this. He was making such a fool of himself, and if I wasn’t right in the middle of a test, I would’ve marched right over there and told him so.
Okay, I wouldn’t, but not because I couldn’t but because after all, he is just my tutor.
Of course, he did also say we were friends, right?
Or at least that he hoped we were friends. But that was before the whole ‘I’m being a snob’ thing. If he thought it was all right to tell me I was a snob, shouldn’t it be all right for me to tell him that he was making a fool of himself?
However, I was in the middle of a test, so I couldn’t, but maybe I would later. Tell him, he’s a fool, I mean.
Maybe. Or not.
Because really, I don’t care what he does. But then, why does it feel like I just got kicked in the stomach?
They finally got up, and I prayed he wouldn’t come over by me.
Stay away, stay away, stay away, I chanted in my head.
It apparently worked, because they left without even a glance my way. I wondered why they were still laughing though. And why she wrapped her arm around his. What was she trying to prove?
Although he really didn’t seem to mind! Maybe that was her plan. Now that she got rid of her boyfriend, she wanted to get her claws into Steve.
Well, that would be just fine with me. If he wants bimbolina, that’s great.
Just great.
I have other things to worry about like this Chemistry test I was going to ace, and also what I was going to do with my free time instead of going to tutoring, because I was so not going anymore!
Chapter Fifteen
“I wish when I heard the phrase, ‘the writing on the wall’, someone told me I shouldn’t have actually wrote on the wall.” — Randy Evans
Steve sat with his back toward the door when I came in for my tutor session. I know, I wasn’t going to go anymore, but Mr. Blaneth had graded my test right away and I wanted to show it to Steve. So I just slid my test paper in front of his face and sat down next to him.
“Whoa, Kate, a ‘B’, that’s great!” he looked over at me. “Congratulations.”
“Um, thanks,” I said. He called me Kate. The sound of it made my heart ache. I mean no nickname, which could only mean he no longer feels I deserve his ‘friendly’ nickname, or I guess I was right about the Becky thing.
“So, I guess that means you’re a good tutor after all, huh?”
“Yep, I guess it does,” he said. That was it. ‘Yep, I guess it does.’
What was that?
He was totally not going to make this apology easy for me, was he?
“Um, Steve,” I said. He looked at me.
Nothing. I could tell nothing from his face. Even those brown eyes were blank. Was he angry? I couldn’t tell.
“I, um, wanted to say I’m sorry.” I held my breath.
“Sorry for what?” he asked all innocent like. Why was he doing this? Didn’t he know how hard this was for me?
“Um, for being such a jerk to you.”
“Oh, that. No big deal,” he said
WHAT!
NO BIG DEAL!
“What?” I said. “I thought you said I was a snob.”
“Well, I guess it just doesn’t matter,” he said.
I swallowed hard. What was he trying to tell me?
Was he trying to tell me he just didn’t care, I mean maybe since he was with bimbolina Becky, he wasn’t even going to give me a second thought!
I raised my eyes and met his. They were cold.
Yep, he was mad, no doubt about it, but I was angry, too. He’d made me feel awful and now he says it just doesn’t matter? What happened to the friends thing?
“I thought we were friends; now it just doesn’t matter?” I asked.
“I just thought you’d want to know what people thought about you, but obviously you don’t care.”
“Well, since we are talking about what others think about us, did you realize what a fool you were making of yourself with bimb…er, Becky yesterday in the library?” I caught my tongue.
Too late. I hadn’t meant to say that, it just kind of slipped out. I mean I was angry!
Steve’s face froze. His eyes fixed on mine.
Then he looked at his watch. “We don’t have much time. What do you need to work on?” He was trying to change the subject.
“Mr. Blaneth said since I did so well on the test, I don’t have to continue the tutoring at this time. He said I didn’t even have to come today if I didn’t want to.” The icy tone was back in my voice.
“Then why did you?” he stared at me.
“To show you my test and…” I started to say, apologize, but it really didn’t seem like it mattered anymore, so I just stopped and stared right back.
“Well, you did great and if you don’t want to review anything, let’s just call it a day then.” He got up and walked out the door.
That was it. He was gone. Just like that. I didn’t get to say anything I wanted to. I didn’t get to say thanks and I couldn’t have done it without your help. Or I realize I made a mistake and can we still be friends, or what’s up with you and bimbolina?
Because, well I really wanted to know.
But I couldn’t say anything to him because he was gone.
Which was very rude I may add!
Chapter Sixteen
“I wish someone had told me life isn’t easy, because it’s totally not. It’s not fair either, in case you wanted to know!” — Toni Finkle
I stood in the rain Friday morning, waited for the bus and contemplated my fate.
Lucky Jodi. She was sick. Not that that idea hadn’t crossed my mind as well. Being sick I mean, but it would never fly in my house. You have to practically cough up a lung or something like that in order to miss a day of school. Since I wasn’t even the slightest bit sick, faking it wasn’t an option.
Last night, as I tossed and turned, I decided I didn’t want anything to do with Steve anymore. I figured anyone who could act that way…you know…make me feel comfortable just so they could tell me I was a snob, wasn’t worthy of my attention. I also knew I was no competition for bimbolina and figured I would cut my losses while I was ahead.
On the way to school, I came up with a plan. It’s not like it was really elaborate or anything. The plan was really very simple.
Avoid Steve.
It’s one thing if I choose to avoid him and totally another if he chooses to ignore me. My way it’s my choice.
It really won’t be hard. Avoiding him that is, except for the fact that it seems whenever I am trying not to see him, that’s when I seem to run into him.
Literally.
No really, I mean it. If I want to see him, like I wanted to for the past few days, outside of my tutor session that is, I never do. When I don’t want to see him, like when I have a bloody finger and am trying to rush to the nurse, or when I am trying to take a test and he is flirting with bimbolina, sure that’s when I see him!
I turned the corner to get to my locker and froze. The little hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
Muddy footprints.
There were large muddy footprints that led from the main hallway right to my locker. I looked up at my locker. The lock was gone.
Completely missing.
I looked up and down the hall. Was this some joke? No one seemed to notice anything at all. I could feel my face getting hot and my scalp started to tingle. What if I opened my locker and tons of balloons popped out. Well, that wouldn’t be so bad, except that it’s not my birthday or anything, so why would there be balloons in my locker?
Of course there could be other silly things in there, like a bunch of super balls
which would come hurling down at me. But then wouldn’t there be someone standing around getting ready to laugh at me.
I guess it could always be something worse. I mean something really bad. I heard that one girl opened her locker and there was bag of dog crap hanging from the hook! Of course I did not actually see this, but you know it could be true.
I had no choice. I had to open it.
I slowly lifted the latch up and opened the locker so that I stood behind the door, just in case anything fell out.
Nothing.
I peeked around the locker door and pressed my lips tightly together to hold back a scream.
Not an ‘I’m scared’ scream, but an ‘I’m madder than hell” scream.
A mess. It was a complete disaster.
Folders were dumped out, books tossed to the bottom of the locker. My gym bag, which incidentally I forgot to take home, had been ripped open and my gym uniform was hanging loosely from a hook. Someone tore the pockets of my shorts wide open. All my stuff was scattered in my locker. I slammed the locker shut and headed to the office. I kept thinking, why would someone trash my locker? I knew it was intentional. I mean, the footprints led directly to my locker. Stopped right there. It wasn’t like the person had questioned which locker to go to. They didn’t go to the one next to mine, no, they were sure. It was deliberate.
“What do you need?” the woman behind the counter in the office asked when I got there.
I explained my whole locker situation and somehow she turned it around and it became my fault!
“Well, who did you give your lock combination to?” She asked suspiciously and gave me the evil eye.
“Um, no one.” Like who did she think trashed my locker, my friends? I mean, really, who would I give my combination to? If I gave it to anyone it would be my friends, and they wouldn’t give it out to anyone, not just for the heck of it.
“Well, your locker is your responsibility. I can give you a new lock, but there is a $5 charge,” evil- eyed grumpy lady said.