I turned to look in his eyes. “Are you worried about me? I’ll be all right. I may get bored but I am in no danger. This is a safe place for us. I’m going to miss you. We haven’t been apart since we got married. I’ll be lonely without you here…but I’ll be fine.”
“Not as lonely as I will be, I guarantee it.”
Alec kissed me, a desperate fearful kiss, and picked me up, taking the stairs quickly into our room. He made love to me for most of the night, never releasing me from his arms. I knew he was worried. I knew he hated to leave me all alone. It was his way of calming the two of us, occupying our minds with the need of our bodies, instead of giving in to the uncertainty of the days ahead.
I helped him pack in the early morning and made him a big breakfast since we skipped dinner. He ate everything, his hand holding mine, not wanting to let go. His eyes had the look of a misty gray morning, cloudy and moody, like the violent and turbulent foaming froth of a storm at sea. He didn’t want to leave me. And I didn’t want to let him.
He kissed me for several minutes, finally leaving with his supplies strapped on his back. I hugged him tightly, whispering in his ear how much I loved him.
“May God keep you safe and return you to me unharmed. Be careful. I love you Alec.” I told him, my throat tight with unshed tears.
He held me, hugging me back. “Please be safe. I’ll be careful. I have a wife to return home to. I love you with all my heart Lizzie.”
I watched him walk away and join the other officers, long rows of wives waving our goodbyes in the dawning light. I hated it. I hated waving to him like all of this was all right. I hated pretending that I didn’t care he was out fighting refugees for the cause. I wanted to be out there fighting too. It sucked. Bad.
That first day and night was the longest in my entire life, perhaps with the exception of the night my sister died. I was bored. I was alone. The house was large and dark, making me feel edgy. I paced the hall constantly in the middle of the night, unable to sleep without Alec next to my side.
It was agony, pure hell, and I was terribly miserable. My bottom lip was chewed and swollen from my agitation. I was restless and edgy. And worse than that, I think I was coming down with something since my stomach would not stop churning.
Time became my enemy. It crawled at an agonizing pace. I had to force myself to stop looking at the time. In a fit of anger I turned all of the clocks around to face the wall so I wouldn’t keep glancing at them. It depressed me.
My thoughts lingered on places and people better left buried deep inside. Again and again I thought of my family. My mother and sister before the war. My father before he died. Mal and his fate. The uncertainty of the refuges. Anguish tore at my heart. The ache of it stole any happiness or joy. I cried until I could no longer produce tears. I was a walking zombie.
The next two days were the same. On the third day, I decided to take a walk. I couldn’t stand another minute in that house alone. I would go insane. Literally. I passed the library and a coffee shop and headed toward a little strip mall. These used to be everywhere before the war started. Now they were hard to find. Too many had been bombed and obliterated.
Money was scarce for rebuilding. Only what survived was maintained. The war gobbled up money and any available funds until there was nothing left. Even then, the militia spread its propaganda, pushing war bonds, shoving it down the throats of the people. One hand out, always begging, always asking for more.
This strip mall had a packaging and shipping store, a bakery, a clothing consignment shop, a small grocery, and a military surplus store. I walked into the bakery first, beckoned by the smell of freshly baked bread and muffins. I couldn’t resist purchasing a loaf of bread and some chocolate chip cookies. In the grocery I replenished our refrigerator on Alec’s credit. I needed to restock the kitchen.
After I left the store, I went into the consignment shop. It was full of clothing, mostly adult sizes. The ladies section was very large and full of dresses. I looked through the rack, almost deciding there was nothing I liked, until I found a dress that made me gasp. It was almost identical to the one I had worn the night I met Alec, in ivory and mauve pink. It was a fair price. I decided to try it on and see if it fit.
In the dressing room, I was pleasantly surprised to find it fit very well, only a slightly bit big. I thought it looked nice on me and decided to buy it. Taking it to the front, I paused when I saw a baby bassinette for sale. I wasn’t going to buy it until I saw the condition. It was made of oak and excellently carved, hardly used. I loved it instantly. I decided to purchase them both and paid the cashier.
It was tricky carrying the bassinette home. It was awkward and a little heavy. I put the baked goods and groceries and my dress inside, carefully juggling it home. I let myself inside the house, setting down the bassinette. I cleaned it and rubbed oil on the wood. It was beautiful. I brought it upstairs and into our room, putting it in the corner by our bed.
The next few days were unbearable. It was hot outside and the townhouse was a little uncomfortable. I hated being alone. I felt stifled and started feeling uneasy. I walked often, to clear my head and get fresh air. I felt off, dizzy and lightheaded sometimes, and restless. Even with all of the windows open I felt overly heated and agitated. Maybe I was coming down with a cold.
Exactly one week after Alec left, I put on my new dress. I curled my hair, rolling the waves and sweeping them back, and added flowers. I wanted to look irresistible. I had missed him terribly this last week. I paced the house all morning, hoping for his return. At lunch, I barely ate, too anxious for his arrival to have an appetite. I was doing the dishes, humming to myself, when I heard the front door open.
“Lizzie!? Lizzie, come here!” Alec yelled.
I ran from the kitchen, a huge smile on my face. He grinned when he saw me, holding his arms open wide. I ran into them as he twirled me around, looking into my eyes.
“Lizzie, you look beautiful. Where did you find that dress? It looks just like the one you wore the night we met,” he asked, pleased and surprised.
“I know. That’s exactly what I thought when I saw it. I had to have it, thinking you would like it. What do you think?” I asked, swirling around in front of him.
He pulled me close. “It’s perfect. I missed you, so very much. How have you been? You look tired my darling.”
I laughed as all of his words tumbled out in a rush.
“I couldn’t sleep without you here. It’s been a long week.”
“I know what you mean,” he responded, squeezing me tight.
“How did things go? I’ve been anxious, trying not to worry.”
“The bombing was a success. The militia destroyed the base but the place was abandoned before we arrived. The refugees must have been warned. No casualties. I was relieved when they told us.”
Relief washed through me too. “What else happened?”
“We had to interrogate some prisoners and try to find other refugee camps. I…really don’t want to talk about it.” He looked uncomfortable.
“All right,” I responded, watching his face.
I wondered what happened. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it right now and I was fine with that. Some aspects of his position I was better off not knowing.
“Lizzie,” he paused and looked at me, “are you sure you feel all right?”
I looked at him questioningly. “Yes, I think so. I’ve just been tired and restless…and a little dizzy. Maybe I am coming down with a cold.”
He nodded. “Let’s have you rest. I’m tired anyway. I want to hold you. My arms have been so empty lately.”
He picked me up, taking the stairs quickly, and laying me down on the bed. His eyes landed on the baby bassinette and he raised an eyebrow at me in wonder.
“I saw it at the consignment shop and I couldn’t resist. I know we don’t need it yet but it was so beautiful I had to have it. Do you mind?”
“Oh no, my love, I was just curious. You can buy whatever
you like. I love the dress. It makes me think of that night, of our attraction, and dancing in the moonlight. Do you remember?” He asked, his voice wistful.
“Yes, I looked in your eyes and I knew I was in love. I told Angela you were the most handsome boy I had ever met. She knew I was head over heels for you. She laughed and teased me about it you know,” I admitted.
“Boy? I guess I was three years ago.” He laughed lightly. “What do you think now?”
His eyes were smoky again, filling with desire, almost instantly.
“You are definitely a man now. What do you think? Have I changed?” I teased him.
“You are still as beautiful but you have…filled out and become curvy, it is very sexy. I can’t keep my hands away…”
His lips were moving down my throat, over my shoulder, and across my right breast. My breathing accelerated, desire coursing through my veins, matching the heat in his gaze. He smiled knowingly.
“I love you Alec…”
He helped me out of my dress, his fingers lingering on my bare skin. Everywhere his fingers went his lips followed. My neck. My ear. Down to my breasts. Across my stomach where he lingered, pushing my thighs open so he could rest between them.
I removed his shirt and kissed along his collarbone, across the broad expanse of muscle, trailing with deliberate care, the wet flick of my tongue brushing the tiny dark hairs on his chest. A sigh escaped my lips. I loved the feel of him. The hard strength beneath my touch. His fingers rested against my lower back, pulling me closer. He moaned.
This time I was the one with the small smile twitching the corners of my mouth. I continued my descent, running my tongue along each perfect plane, each separate abdominal muscle, all six, licking at the taste of his skin. Heat. It scorched my fingers as I moved lower.
“Lizzie! What…Oh God, Lizzie…” He began to pant, his hand resting on the top of my head. “Dear God…”
A moment later I was flipped on my back, Alec’s chest heaving, his eyes liquid molten silver. I knew nothing. Not the cry that fell from my lips as he entered me. Not the sigh of contentment when he began to move. Not the moans of pleasure that escaped with every thrust.
We made love, slowly and passionately, our fingers intertwined, every second intensified by the separation we had to endure for the last week. In no hurry we climbed the peak together, gently guiding each other, each touch propelling us higher. Only once we had reached the top in unison did we release, crashing into waves of bliss that overtook us, the tightening knots releasing into an extended gush, soaking us as we collided. One body. One heart. One shared soul.
Alec looked at me afterward, his expression soft and loving.
“I wonder if you are with child. I have a feeling…”
“I don’t know. It’s still too early to tell. We’ve only been married about six weeks. I’m late Alec, for my period.” He smiled and nodded. “I don’t know what to expect. But…I do feel different. It’s possible,” I responded, hoping it was true.
He brushed his fingers across my cheek. “I think you will have news to tell me soon. I hope so, nothing would make me happier. Let’s rest now. I love you my Lizzie, my beautiful wife.”
I lay my head on his chest and fell asleep as overwhelming love and contentment filled me. I had never felt more perfect in my life.
Chapter Fifteen
“A pity we are not alone.”
The voice shook me from my thoughts. I quickly scrambled to my knees, prepared to fight if necessary.
Donnovan chuckled. “While I do admire the lovely view of your long legs, I am not here to continue what we have started.”
I glared at him. “There is nothing between us.”
He grinned, almost playful, as he leaned against the trunk of a tree.
“Oh but you see, that is not quite true. We have secrets, you and I.”
He spoke in a whisper, as if the whole world could be blocked out by his words. I shivered, suddenly cold in the afternoon sunshine.
“We are co-conspirators. The game is not quite finished my dear.”
“It is for me,” I challenged.
He winked. “I really was hoping for a struggle…makes it that much more interesting to be around you princess.”
I scoffed. “Whatever.”
“Oh you will learn to enjoy my company.”
“Never,” I promised.
“Oh you do know how to keep a man interested. But mark my words…I will come for you.”
He looked into my eyes, deadly calm and serious. I shook my head, backing away from him.
“No,” I whispered.
“I will choose the time and place. Be on your guard princess. I intend to capture the queen.”
Icy fear rippled through my body and I shook. He enjoyed my reaction. Leaning forward, he sniffed, smiling widely.
“You do get me going. Take care…Elizabeth.”
His intimate use of my name shocked me and he laughed. I had no doubt it was his intention to unsettle me. Point for Donnovan. Another win but the game was not over yet. He walked away slowly, whistling.
When Alec returned and saw my expression I had to explain the whole confrontation. His eyes scanned the picnic, every table, all the couples, through the trees, but Donnovan was gone. Long gone…
A persistent knocking awakened me from my dreams. At first I thought it had to be Alec, but then it turned into banging. He would not pound on the door like that. I tiptoed to the window and looked out, surprised to see Donnovan at my front door. He made me instantly nervous and on guard. Our last encounter had not gone well.
I knew he was suspicious of my identity. I hoped he would not figure out I was the same girl from the raid that night. Surely he would not attack me in the middle of the day? He must have another reason for coming to my house.
I opened the door cautiously.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
He smiled, coldly appraising me. “Ah Mrs. Sheridan.”
I expected him to answer but he just stared, a hard look entering his eyes.
“Alec is not here at the moment. I’ll let him know you came by.” I offered.
For a moment he stayed perfectly still, like a cobra before the strike, and then he shoved his way into the house quickly, forcing me to stumble back. I gripped the door for support and flung it wide, hoping he would leave.
He smirked. “We have some things to discuss, you and I.”
I nearly panicked. “We have absolutely nothing to talk about.”
Cautiously I crept toward the front porch, hoping to outrun him.
“Oh but I think we do.”
He grabbed my upper arms cruelly, squeezing until I gasped with the pain. He yanked me back inside the doorway.
“Such a pretty thing, aren’t you princess? I admit, I was quite surprised when he married you. How did you manage it?” He asked, his voice dripping honey and acid.
I shook my head. How did he know? How did he figure it out?
“I see you understand my meaning. Alec is a fool if he thinks I will allow you to stay here.”
I flinched, suddenly afraid of his intentions. I tried unsuccessfully to get out of his grip.
“I think we shall have some fun first, before he comes home and finds you gone. But don’t worry…there will be a trail to follow,” he promised with a wicked grin.
I nearly screamed. If he was able to close that door and get me upstairs, I would never escape his punishment. Terror gripped me. I knew what he intended. He would surely rape me for the sole purpose of getting at Alec.
Desire entered his features. It was written plainly on his face. I swallowed with disgust.
His grip on my upper arms increased. “Get upstairs…now.”
I shook my head, ready to scream.
Suddenly I heard voices. Female voices, more than one. The sewing circle. The wives were going to their weekly gossip fest. If I could manage to capture their attention…
“Thank you Donnovan for checking on me.
My husband will be pleased at your kind attention. I was just leaving, of course, to join the wives for the sewing circle.” I spoke as loudly as I could.
He raised his hand about to strike when a voice from around the corner stopped him.
“Mrs. Sheridan, how delightful to see you. Are you accompanying us this afternoon?” Mrs. Sullivan asked.
“I would be delighted,” I answered.
Donnovan backed away, his eyes cold and hard. “Well played. But I think you will not be so lucky next time.”
A shiver of dread ran down my spine. I had no doubt he spoke the truth. He backed away, bowing to the wives, and made a hasty retreat.
Shaking, I locked the door behind me and followed the wives to Mrs. Johnson’s for the sewing circle. After we had been served some refreshment, I begged to make a quick phone call. Alec’s phone rang four times before he answered it.
“Hello, Sargent Sheridan speaking.”
“Hello darling, I forgot to tell you I am attending the sewing circle this afternoon.” I kept my voice extra chipper.
Alec immediately understood. “What happened Lizzie?”
“Oh yes, I will need you to pick me up on the way home,” I answered.
Agitation entered his voice. “Who bothered you?”
“Oh and Donnovan came by this afternoon to check on me. Wasn’t that thoughtful?” I asked, my voice overly sweet.
Dead silence. “What did he do Lizzie?”
“Oh yes dear, I can’t wait to see you after work.”
“Lizzie…are you all right? Did he hurt you?” He asked, his voice deadly calm.
“Yes, yes darling. I’ll explain everything later over dinner.”
I could hear the phone vibrating with his anger. “Yes or no? Are you hurt?”
“Yes dear, I’m a little hungry but we can eat together for dinner.” I answered.
He sighed. “I’ll be the judge of that. Stay there until I pick you up after work. Do not leave for any reason. Make something up if you have to.”
“Yes, darling. I love you Alec.”
“I love you Lizzie. I’ll see you soon.”
Refugee Road (Freedom Fighters Series Book 1) Page 17