Ian smiled at her, taking a bite of his own dog. He had to admit to being pretty impressed by his hot dog cooking ability. He bit down for the second time and swallowed a groan, along with the hot dog.
Or at least he thought he had.
“That good, huh?” Humor twinkled in Kayla’s eyes.
“I must be really hungry.”
She finished chewing the bite she’d taken and uttered an exaggerated moan. She wiped her mouth with a white paper napkin. “No, these are really good.”
“Mm-hmm. Good,” Penelope concurred.
“We should have these every night,” Sadie suggested.
Kayla chuckled. “I don’t know, you’d get tired of hot dogs if we had them every night.”
She shrugged, chewing quickly so she could talk. “Probly.”
“And we can only have them if Ian cooks.” Chase put down his dog and forked up a bite of salad. “Yours aren’t even close to this good, Mom.”
“Hey now.” Ian jumped to her defense. He never meant to outdo their mother’s cooking.
She put a hand on his arm. “It’s true, and sometimes the truth hurts.” She turned her focus on her children. “Hurry up, guys, we still have homework to do.”
“No we don’t,” all three kids said in unison.
“Guys, I’m tired. Let’s not play this game.” She closed her eyes and breathed deep, probably praying for patience she didn’t need.
“No games, Mom,” Chase said. “Our homework is done. Ian helped us with it.”
She glanced at him and Ian flashed her a cheesy smile. Relief rushed into her expression, her sapphire eyes softened. Surely he imagined the tears swimming with gratitude. Her lips tipped slowly at the corners. She said nothing. She didn’t have to, the message read like blinking neon. Thank you.
“Well, let’s hurry up, so you guys can have extra-long storytime.”
“Yay! Ian tell stories.” Penelope clapped her hands.
“Ian! Ian! Ian!” Sadie cheered.
Chase scowled. The kid was ten, he didn’t do stories. Or at least he liked to think he was too old for stories. Ian reached over and covered Kayla’s hand. The touch, innocent as it was, sent jolts up his arm. He needed this woman like he needed his next breath. Hers hitched. Her eyes flicked to his. There was that silent communication again. It spoke volumes. She saw. She finally saw him as a man. A man she was most certainly interested in. Finally!
He was not so overcome with emotion that he considered crying. Nope. Not at all. He looked away and blinked a couple of times because he had something in his eyes.
She smiled gently, eased her hand out from under his touch and reversed the hold. She patted his arm and looked at Chase. “How’s this? Ian can tell the girls a story and you can read me a chapter from that zombie book you’re reading?”
Chase glanced from Kayla to Ian and back again. The kid wasn’t stupid and he totally saw the holy crap, there’s something about to ignite arc between the two adults. Ian watched Chase’s eyes narrow, his brows frown.
Ian waited for the rejection. One word from any of the kids and it’d game over. Kayla would choose her kids, as she should. But Ian hoped like hell the choice didn’t have to be made.
“Ian, why do you hang out with us?”
And there it was.
He had one shot.
If he screwed this up, he’d never get another one.
He looked Chase right in his bright blue eyes and told him the absolute truth. “I love you guys, Chase.”
“But you have a life, Ian.”
“Chase!” Kayla came to the unneeded, unwanted rescue.
Ian cleared his throat. “If it’s okay, Kayla, why don’t you and the girls head upstairs while us men clean up the kitchen?”
Protectiveness radiated in her eyes. Ian wasn’t quite sure who she felt protective of, though. “Are you sure?”
Ha. Mystery solved.
He grinned at her. “I think I can handle him.”
She smiled at her son. “Can you handle him?”
Chase frowned so hard his entire face headed south. He squinted through silted eyes. “Yeah, I got him.”
Kayla wasn’t so sure. She certainly had more than a few reservations about leaving the men in her life alone together. Especially after Chase had put together two-plus-two. Her son didn’t seem completely opposed to the idea, yet had a couple reservations, if the scowl on his face was anything to go by.
She hurried after the girls, shooing them up the stairs. Shooting glances over her shoulder, she really did want to know what the heck was happening in the kitchen. Good grief, she’d barely figured things out herself. How long had the truth been staring at her?
Blind, stupid and dumb. Hell.
“Mom, are you coming?” Sadie called from the top of the stairs.
Kayla hadn’t realized she’d stopped halfway up the staircase. She broke out into a jog. “Yeah, let’s get those teeth brushed, so you’ll be ready when Ian comes up.”
“Ian. Story. Woot woot!” Penelope did a little hoppy-jumpy thing, twisting around in the air before running down the hall to their bathroom.
By the time Kayla stepped into the tiny sea-life decorated bathroom, the girls were busily brushing their teeth. Penelope, who’d perched herself on the counter, leaned into the mirror and showed off as many teeth as she could. Toothpaste dribbled down her chin splatting onto the front of her nightgown.
Sadie stood on the stepstool and moved the brush over her own teeth. When she looked in the mirror and saw Kayla, she quickly rinsed off her brush and spit in the sink. “I’m all done, Mom. I did it all by myself.”
Kayla’s only response was to hold out her hand, palm up. Sadie frowned, but relinquished her toothbrush. Kayla swept the brush over the tiny white teeth, checking for any loose ones before once again rinsing the brush and putting it away.
“Good girl. Go climb into bed and I’ll be there in just a few minutes to tuck you in.”
She snorted, but left without any further protest.
Penelope bent at the waist and spit into the sink. Or she’d meant to, at least. Instead the white puddle landed smack dab in the middle of her nightgown, which hammocked itself over a few inches of the bowl. Pene shrieked, clutched at her nightgown, smearing toothpaste all over the counter.
“Stop, Pene. Just stop.”
Penelope looked up, horrified, then glanced back down at the bane of her existence.
“Arms up.”
Penelope’s arms shot toward the ceiling. Kayla carefully tugged the offensive dirty nightgown from the little body and tossed it into the hamper. Good thing tomorrow was laundry day.
“Let me check your teeth then we’ll get you a new nightgown.”
Penelope frowned. “Merida.”
“We’ll see if we can find you another one with Merida on it. Open wide.”
The little mouth opened. Kayla did the brush thing, telling Pene to spit. This time with no mishap. Penelope wiped her mouth on a towel. The decorative one. Oh, well. Tomorrow’s laundry day.
She helped Penelope off the counter, reaching to toss the towel into the hamper before turning off the light and heading out the door.
After getting Penelope situated in a pair of night-night underpants—with Merida on them—and a new Merida nightgown, the three Black girls waited for Ian. Good grief. It’d been twenty minutes.
Kayla would have really liked to have been a fly on the wall. And yet, hearing what the guys were saying scared the living shit out of her. Was her son really interrogating her…boyfriend?
Dang.
Was that what Ian was, or would be, once she spilled the beans?
Would Chase accept it? Was it too soon? She didn’t want to have to make a choice between Ian and Chase. There was no choice to be made, actually. As much as she loved Ian—and holy crap, she really did love him—she’d choose her kids every time. No question.
If Chase couldn’t accept it…
Oh, God, please let Chase ac
cept it.
As soon as his mother was out of the room Chase turned his focus on Ian again. Sweat rolled down Ian’s side. Holy shit, facing his prom date’s father—holding a shotgun—had nothing on the stare down he faced now.
“Why do you hang out with us?” the kid asked again.
“I told you,” Ian answered calmly, “I love you guys.”
One side of Chase’s mouth quirked.
“You don’t believe me?”
“What are your intentions with my mom?”
The question, posed so seriously, made Ian laugh. Not a chuckle either. He nearly doubled over. Chase, however, was not amused. The kid frowned hard.
“I asked you a question, Ian. I didn’t tell a joke.”
Ian sobered. “Sorry. You just sounded so mature it caught me off guard. Sorry, man. Go ahead and ask me again.”
Chase cleared his throat and leaned back in the chair, crossing his arms. The kid looked so freakin’ serious Ian had to bite his lip to keep the humor inside. Chase narrowed his eyes.
“What are your intentions with my mom?”
“My intentions are completely honorable, sir.”
The use of the formality made Chase smile. Although as soon as he realized it, he wiped the happy from his face.
“Good.” He sat forward, resting his forearms on the table. He got in nice and tight to ask, “Do you love her?”
Ian glanced over his shoulder, then resumed the up close and personal. “With all my heart.”
Chase beamed then.
“But she doesn’t know yet.”
Chase jerked back. “What do you mean she doesn’t know?”
“Just what I said, my man. She doesn’t know.”
The kid frowned and shook his head. Total disapproval. “You haven’t told her yet?”
“Nope.”
“Does she love you?”
“I don’t know.”
Chase slapped his palm against his forehead. “She hasn’t told you either?”
“Huh-uh. But I think she does.”
His lips went big and cheesy. “I think so too. Don’t tell her I said that.”
“Don’t worry, my man, it’ll be our secret.” Ian inched closer, hoping Chase would follow his lead. When the kid did Ian asked one very important follow-up question, “Can you get on board with your mom and I loving each other?” As the next question flashed into his head, Ian almost couldn’t breathe through the nervous excitement. “Maybe got married one day?”
Chase looked down at the table. His mouth quirked on one side, then the other, then the lips flattened into a line. “That depends,” he said finally, quietly.
“On what?”
“Will you still love me?”
Ian jumped out of the chair, sending it sliding against the tile with a screech. He rushed around the table, turned Chase’s chair around to kneel in front of the kid.
“Look at me. Right in the eye.” He waited until the order was obeyed. “I love you, Chase, and I love your sisters too. I can’t imagine loving my own kids any more. The fact that I love your mom—and whether or not she returns that love—doesn’t have any bearing on what I feel for you guys. You’re the greatest kids I’ve ever known, ever will know. I’d die for you.” Oh, God! “I’m such an idiot. I’m not going to die. I’m not going anywhere. I…shit, I mean, crap. I…” He had to stop talking.
He bit down on his tongue, closed his eyes and wished for a damn time machine. Talk about screwing things up. He was the biggest freakin’ idiot on the planet. He didn’t deserve the love of this family.
“I know what you mean.”
Ian opened his eyes.
Chase grinned down at him. “I’m not a baby, Ian. And I know what it means when you say you’d die for me. I love you too. But don’t lie to me.”
“I didn’t lie to you, Chase.”
Now the kid’s eyes got misty. “You can’t promise you’re not going to die. And you can’t promise you’re not going anywhere. My dad promised that all the time. I know that promise is a lie.” He shrugged. “People die. It’s what happens.”
Ian stared at the ten-year-old, believing this kid was way older than his years. An old soul as his own mother used to say.
“I’m not going anywhere, not if I can help it. How’s that?”
Chase smiled. “I can live with that.”
“Come on, we’d better get this kitchen cleaned up before the girls come down lookin’ for us.”
“Good idea.”
Chase stood and together they gathered the dishes, putting them in the sink. Ian pitched Chase a damp washcloth to wipe down the table, while he used another one to clean the counters. Chase emptied the dishwasher and Ian rinsed all the dishes. One dish at a time, they filled the dishwasher. After Ian tossed in a Cascade gel pack, Chase closed the door and pushed the ‘wash’ button. Chase extended his fist and Ian bumped the knuckles.
“What book you reading these days?”
Chase lifted a single shoulder. “I don’t the name of it, but it’s about zombies. It’s pretty good. There are three in the series, I think. I’ll probably read the next one. They’re good for my AR goal.”
“AR?”
“Accelerated Reading.” Chase rolled his eyes. “Every book has points. Each quarter my teacher gives me a goal and I have to read enough to reach that goal.”
“Huh.” Geez. When Ian’d gone to school, they counted pages, or some shit.
“Oh.” Chase stopped in the middle of the staircase, shot a glance to the top. He climbed one more step, putting them nearly face to face. “If you haven’t told my mom, and she hasn’t told you, don’t you two dorks think you ought to say something?”
Ian laughed. “I plan to tonight, after you guys are in bed.”
Chase yawned big, stretched his arms to the ceiling. “I’m really tired.”
“Go.” Ian chuckled all the way to the girls’ room, where he found all three of his girls sound asleep.
Twenty
“Well, that sucks.”
Yeah, it did. “She needs her sleep tonight, big man.”
“You gotta tell her, Ian.”
“I will. Tomorrow.”
Chase put his hands on his hips. “No, Ian, you gotta tell her tonight.”
He ruffled the blonde head. “It’ll be okay. I promise you I’ll tell her tomorrow.” At the open mouth, he said, “I promise to keep that promise.”
Chase frowned.
“Now you head to bed. I’ll get everybody tucked in for the night and—”
“Are you gonna leave Mom here or—”
“I was going to throw a blanket over her, yeah.”
Chase shook his head. “No. The mattress hurts her back. You have to take her to her own bed. It’s got a number or something.”
Ian chuckled. “I’ll make sure she gets to her own bed. Now, get to yours.”
He grinned. “Okay. Goodnight, Ian. I’m glad you love us. I love you, too.”
“’Night, Chase.”
Ian went to Penelope first. He kissed his fingertips before brushing a lock of hair away from her forehead. “Sleep tight, princess.”
He then went to Sadie’s bed. Kayla lay on the edge closest to him. He leaned over her and tugged the blanket up the small torso. “Night, night, sweet Sadie.”
Gazing at the woman he loved, Ian ached to speak the words that would change his life forever. One way or the other. He didn’t think she’d kick him to the curb, tossing his broken heart into the gutter next to him. But when it came to Kayla Black, Ian wasn’t one hundred percent sure of anything.
She’d ping-ponged way too much the last ten months. Not that he blamed her. Fact was fact. And the fact was she held his heart in her hand. If she decided to squish it, at least he wouldn’t be the only one heartbroken. He and Chase could commiserate.
He eased an arm under Kayla’s neck and one under her knees. He lifted her into his body, carrying her from the room, catching the light with his elbow.
&
nbsp; Inside her room, he laid her down on her side of the bed. He slipped her shoes from her feet and pulled the covers up her body. She stirred awake, blinking him into focus.
“Hi. I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
Oh, man, she was beautiful. “You’ve been burning the candle at both ends for a long time now. It’s time for you to let someone help you. Let me help you.”
She sat up and wiped at her eyes. “You’ve been helping me all along, Ian, whether I wanted you to or not.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Damn, he wanted to tell her how he felt, to just throw his heart and soul at her mercy, but now was not the time. He wanted her wide awake for that conversation.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
He groaned. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“I actually think it’s very good.” She turned until her feet dangled over the side of the bed. “I think we really need to talk. About us.”
“And I think you’re right.” He sat down next to her on the bed. “But you’re exhausted, and it’s nearing my bedtime. Let’s make a date for tomorrow.”
“You’re going to make me wait until tomorrow?”
“Yep. I want both of us with a clear head before I…yeah, it’s best we have clear heads.”
Kayla just stared at him. He rubbed at his head, making sure he still had only one attached to his shoulders.
“You’re serious,” she asked.
“As a heart attack.”
Her response shocked the ever living shit out of him. She hopped up onto her knees, grabbed his face between her palms and planted a kiss on his lips. The momentum knocked them backward, but she didn’t relent. Clumsy turned frenzied as her tongue slid over his lips, dipping into his mouth.
She tasted of toothpaste and woman. His woman. She arched against him, bringing her breasts in contact with his chest. Just barely. He guessed only her nipples grazed him. He moaned and thrust his tongue deep into her mouth.
Holy shit, maybe he was the one who’d fallen asleep. Please don’t ever wake me up.
He moved his hands over her back, down to the curve of the ass he’d dreamed about but never touched. He circled around each cheek, drifting down onto her thighs. She must have taken the motion as invitation because, before he knew it, she straddled him.
Hard Break (Deadlines & Diamonds, #5) Page 17