Cabe chuckled quietly and Noah’s face transformed into another breathtaking smile. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again and I quickly shook my head to chase them away. I had cried enough already.
“I remember you threatening to go against your bond,” Cabe said, fixing me with a dark look.
“And I remember you saying you needed space,” Noah added, even more solemnly. “I’m sorry you were pressured into forming the bond.”
“I wasn’t!” My voice was louder than I had intended, and it bounced off the walls, assaulting my ears.
I winced, and Cabe smothered another laugh. “Calm down, pretty girl. You aren’t going to wound our delicate feelings. We’re going to win you over in no time.”
Noah made a guttural, indignant sound, folding his arms across his broad chest. “Might take a while.”
I could sense the pain and guilt that emanated from him as I entertained a brief image of him and Amber together… and then I wasn’t so sure that the stinging pain didn’t also belong to me. I swung my aching legs to the side of the bed and noticed that there were several bags in the middle of the room. I tried to stand, intending to hobble over to them, but Noah pushed me back down and went to rummage through them himself. He came back with a pair of shorts and a long-sleeved sweater made out of deliciously soft, downy material. There was a pair of underwear bunched up in the sweater, along with a pair of knee-length socks, and I smiled a little. Even though Noah had apparently hated me for the past several months, he had still noticed what I wore to bed.
“Tariq’s already been settled in. We gave him Miro’s room. We’ll leave and let you change,” he said awkwardly.
“Okay,” I mumbled. “Thanks. I’m… I’m glad you remember.” I was mumbling into my lap, feeling inexplicably shy as I buried my hands between the folds of the sweater in my lap. “I wasn’t pressured into forming the bond. I was ready for it.”
They were both smiling as they left the room and I allowed myself the luxury of feeling as though I was finally, finally, moving forward instead of backwards.
I woke up with a start, knowing somehow that I wasn’t alone anymore. It took me a moment to recognise the irregular pattern of something battering against my chest before I shot out of bed, my hand curling around the base of my neck as though I needed to block the passage off in case my heart decided to leap through my mouth.
“Silas!” I cried out hoarsely.
I could feel his heartbeat, but I couldn’t see him. A dark, humourless chuckle floated to me from the other side of the room and I turned to the shadows, pushing away my fear at the sound.
“Forming the bond with the other two has made you even stronger,” he said.
I tripped over the sheets in my haste to escape the bed and move toward him. I eventually found him sitting in a chair lodged beside the wardrobe, his legs parted and his hands draped over his thighs, his black eyes glittering at me. His face was chillingly blank: a stone mask that I was all too familiar with.
He wasn’t himself.
And he was here, instead of roaming the countryside hoping to provoke someone into a fight.
I was sure that didn’t bode well for me.
“Silas—”
“Don’t,” he cut across me, his tone barely above a whisper, but razor-sharp. “You think you can block Weston from your mind? Well you can’t. That barrier in your head protecting you from him all this time has been me. You fused our damn heads together when you made yourself my Atmá, but it won’t work anymore. Weston weakened me too much, and you aren’t clinging to my mind anymore.” He tapped against his temple and then dropped his arm again, lifting himself from the chair and stalking toward me. He hovered over me, the fury vibrating off him and sending cold fingers of caution to wrap around my neck. “Do you realise what that means?”
I bristled, squaring my shoulders and refusing to be intimidated, even though I had to hide my hands behind my back to mask the way they trembled. “It means I make my own decisions and I couldn’t let you suffer any more! I should have done it sooner… I should never have waited so long—”
He slapped a hand over my mouth, cutting me off again. “I’m not going to thank you,” he whispered.
I clamped down on his skin with my teeth, biting harder than I intended due to the fear sinking through my body. The hint of a metallic taste lit upon my tongue, and he grunted, pulling his hand free and replacing it with his mouth. I was too shocked to react at first, but then his tongue slid along the seam of my lower lip, licking at the trace of blood that lingered, and I reacted on instinct. I pulled his tongue into my mouth, closing my lips around it… as though it might keep him tethered to me. His chest rumbled and his hands clamped down on my hips, dragging me further up the wall as his lips slanted over mine roughly. He licked into my mouth and managed to draw my tongue into the kiss, persuading me to react to him in ways I hadn’t been prepared for. I tried to climb higher, wanting to be closer, and he grabbed my thighs, forcing my legs around his waist.
There was an inferno inside my chest, threatening to consume me if I didn’t break away and gulp for air, but I couldn’t. I could only press myself to him and lock my legs tighter, dragging his hips to mine as he growled into my mouth. I could feel everything when he pressed between my legs, and spots of light flashed over my closed lids as liquid heat dripped through me.
Silas suddenly tore his mouth away, tilting his chest backwards as he stared at me in shock. Valcrick was spluttering all over the room, slipping though the particles of air in tiny, wriggling little sparks.
“I have to go,” he muttered, setting me on my feet and striding for the door.
I ran after him, catching his arm. He halted, but didn’t make a move to face me.
“Where are you going?” I eventually asked.
“I have to dispel some tension,” he replied. His tone was quiet and sharp again, ripping a hole through me.
“You can’t hurt anyone else.” I left it hanging in the air that I knew about Gerald, but didn’t bring it up explicitly. “And you can’t see her. Hunter. I won’t let you.”
“What are you going to do about it?” he prodded, spinning around to face me again.
I bit into my lip, allowing my eyes to slide to the door. “Use me instead. Like last time. I could find some cards or…”
“That won’t work this time.” He sounded almost sad, and I realised that it wasn’t sadness for himself. It was pity. He pitied me.
“I can help,” I insisted, my fingers biting tightly into his arm.
He glanced down at the grip and then un-pried my fingers slowly, one by one. He stared down at me in consideration for so long that I started to shuffle from one foot to another, before he walked away from me and stopped beside a desk set against the wall. He looked at me expectantly until I trailed after him. He grabbed my hands when I reached him and pulled my arms behind my back. He planted a hand at the base of my spine as he kicked between my feet, simultaneously widening my stance and catching me before the movement sent me tumbling. He pulled away once I had regained my footing and stood back to look at me, passing his dark eyes over the rumpled sweater that had slipped down over one of my shoulders, and the knee socks that were hanging unevenly on my legs. He paused a moment on the socks, tilting his head, and then he drew close again, coaxing my head to the side.
His teeth dug into my neck without warning, biting hard enough to draw a gasp from me.
“Should I go?” he murmured, once he had softened his bite.
I felt that I knew what he was doing, even though a large part of my brain was suddenly confused. He had invested a lot into convincing the both of us that he was unstable, unhealthy… but I never listened.
Silently, I shook my head, and he pulled down the neckline of my sweater, dangerously close to baring one of my breasts. He lowered his head and seemed to simply breathe against the surface of my skin for a moment, before his teeth were clamping down on me again. Perhaps it was his proximity to my breast, but t
he gasp that left my throat this time wasn’t one of shock. He bit again, harder this time, and his hand slipped further into my sweater, moulding to the underside of my bra.
“Should I go?” he asked again.
He was testing me.
“N-no,” I whispered.
“You have a toxic habit of putting yourself in harm’s way, Seraph.” He whispered the words, his breath falling over the recent bite mark in a way that drew a whimpering sound from me.
I pulled my hands free from where he had trapped them between my back and the desk, but he slid his hand from my sweater and recaptured my wrists, securing them behind me again and tugging on them with enough force to make my shoulders snap back. He dropped to his knees, still restraining my hands with one of his as he set his palm against my cotton shorts, rolling the fabric up until it couldn’t go any further, and then he dug his teeth into the softness of my inner thigh. The breath left me in a rush, and I saw the wings of valcrick splutter back into the room as he made a frustrated sound and surged to his feet.
“Should I go?” He demanded the words instead of asking them, his voice rough and unsteady.
I shook my head and he released his hold on my hands to spin me around. I found myself facing the wall, and then he was pressing between my shoulder blades, forcing me to fall forward. I had to shoot my arms out against the desk to stop myself from hitting it. When I tried to stand again, the pressure of Silas’s hand prevented me. When he was sure that I was going to stay, he pulled his hand back and I hovered there uncertainly, my arms beginning to tremble.
The heavy strike of his hand against my butt had me jolting upright, but he was there to catch me, pulling me to his chest and winding a hand around the front of my neck, his fingers biting in just softly enough to send me some kind of message.
“No, you shouldn’t go,” I spat out, as my shock started to die away and the sting of his blow began to settle in my body, followed by a strange rush of heat.
He breathed out a dry laugh, but it ended on a groan. “Dammit, angel, I can feel your emotions… you’re going to start something you can’t finish.”
I tried to spin around, suddenly sensing that the normal Silas had broken through, but he wouldn’t let me. His fingers bit more firmly into the skin of my neck as his free hand splayed across my stomach. I attempted to reign in the emotions that I was leaking through to him, but frowned when I discovered that I hadn’t actually opened my emotions to him in the first place.
“What do you mean? You can feel what I’m feeling right now?”
“Not through the bond,” he countered, the hand across my stomach moving down to slip below the hem of my sweater and settle back into place against my skin. “Your body is vibrating, your skin is so hot it’s almost burning me and you’re breathing in these sexy little gasps… it’s driving me insane.”
“I’m sorry your punishment isn’t punishing enough,” I replied a little huffily.
He laughed again, the sound carrying a genuine note of humour, and this time I was sure that it was the normal Silas I was talking to. His hand slipped higher up my stomach until he could trace the lines of my ribcage, and I melted back into him, realising a little too late why he had been keeping our bodies from touching. He released his breath on a growl the second our bodies made contact, but it was too late to pull away, so I pretended that I didn’t notice his reaction. He pulled his hand out of my sweater and notched both of his hands on my hips, pressing himself into me with a small groan.
“I’m the only one getting punished,” he grumbled. “I could never really hurt you. I tried. I couldn’t. I wanted to make you bleed, but you tasted too good to ruin. I wanted to make your skin sing out with pain, but it’s too soft… I just can’t. I think I might hate you.”
He pulled away and finally allowed me to turn and face him.
“No you don’t,” I countered.
“No,” he confirmed, his black eyes brimming with a strange kind of regret. “I don’t.”
“You should leave before Weston finds out that you’re here.”
“I should.”
Neither of us moved, and the tension finally drained out my body, the last vestige of adrenaline leaving me in a rush that put an instant wobble in my legs. I walked to the bed and climbed into the middle, sighing as the silken comforter welcomed me in a plush hug.
“You’ll stay the night, won’t you?” I muttered against the pillow.
He settled beside me, plucking me away from the comforter and bundling me into his side. “I will,” he murmured, his eyes on the ceiling above us. “I know I said I wouldn’t thank you, but…”
“You’re welcome,” I murmured, catching at the material of his shirt.
Maybe if I held him tightly enough he wouldn’t disappear again.
Cabe burst into my room just as I was lacing up my sneakers. He flopped onto my bed and looked like he was contemplating going back to sleep for a moment, before he turned and gave me a searching look.
“Well?” he asked. “Did Silas hunt you down?”
“You knew he would?” I countered, shocked. I finished with my shoes and stood up from the bed, planting my hands against my hips as I turned on him.
“Why do you think we left you alone last night?”
“Thanks,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Why do you guys all leave me alone to deal with his angry alter ego?”
“You’re better looking.”
“Seriously, Cabe.”
“Fine. You’re the only one of us he won’t beat into a pulp.”
“Wouldn’t be so sure of that,” I grumbled, yanking my bag over my shoulder and striding for the door.
“Hey!” Cabe caught up to me, snapping the door shut before I’d even managed to open it properly. “Did he hurt you?”
I frowned tightly, suddenly unsure how I was going to answer that. Had Silas hurt me? There had been pain involved, but I wouldn’t say that I had disliked it. I was sure that I would have disliked it if anyone else had done it…
“Seph?” Cabe prodded gently. “If he did, you can tell me. We’ll never leave you alone with him again and me and Noah can restrain him while you beat him up for a while.”
I huffed out an amused sigh, turning to face Cabe. I pulled off my scarf and pointed to the purplish bite mark on my neck. Cabe’s frown twitched into a smile and when his eyes slid back to my face, there was a knowing spark in the honeyed-brown depths.
“So he bit you?” Cabe asked, his voice suddenly casual. Too casual. “Anything else?”
I squinted, trying to figure out why he sounded so neutral and why he hadn’t been shocked even in the slightest. I dropped my scarf and bag on the floor, pulling down the neckline of my shirt to bare the mark on the inside curve of my breast. It was bigger than the one on my neck, and little red indentations from Silas’s teeth were inlaid in the center of the mottled bruise.
“You haven’t healed yourself at all,” Cabe remarked, reaching up to brush the pad of his thumb over the mark.
“It never even occurred to me,” I lied.
Cabe smirked, shaking his head a little. He knew that I was lying. “I think it’s time to establish rules again,” he said. “You got pissed at us last time, so do you want to be in the room this time?”
I gaped, snatching my bag back up and winding the scarf around my neck again. Did I want to be present while they discussed the limits of their shared relationship with me? Ugh, hell no. I shook my head violently and pushed open the door, Cabe’s laugh floating after me as I strode out into the hallway and collided with Noah.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, steadying me.
“Nothing,” I snapped, still inwardly cringing. “But when you guys have this discussion, keep poor Miro in mind. You might just force him to jump out of a window.”
“What discussion?” Noah asked, allowing me to lead him toward the elevator.
“I have a feeling that Silas broke the rules in a big way last night,” Cabe whispered to Noah, c
atching up to us.
I scowled at Cabe, switching to Noah’s other side so that Cabe wasn’t able to whisper to him anymore. Noah blinked, pressing the down button.
“Interesting…” he murmured. “How big of a way?”
A curse catching in my throat, I shoved Noah through the now-open doors of the elevator and strode in after him.
“Stop talking about me like I’m an errant pet,” I demanded.
“Actually, I think this is more about Silas being an errant beast,” Cabe corrected me. “If those marks are anything to judge by.”
“What marks?” Noah asked, his voice a little deeper than usual, his eyes flashing.
Nobody said that having four sort-of boyfriends was going to be easy.
“I’ve changed my mind,” I announced, squaring my shoulders. “I want to be in the room when you have this discussion. I have a few rules of my own.”
“Can we ban her from having rules of her own?” Noah asked Cabe.
“I’m not sure. We can try. Seph, bad news, you aren’t allowed to have rules of your own.”
I stuck my tongue out at him, and he held his hands up in surrender, taking a step back from me.
“I tried,” he told Noah. “She shot me down.”
Noah rolled his eyes, pulling me out of the elevator and into the limousine. Hans and Andrei were already inside and waiting.
Hans cleared his throat.
“Good morning to you too,” I said, wiggling my fingers at him.
Andrei’s mouth twitched into an almost-smile, and they both turned to stare stoically out of their respective windows.
I spotted Tariq running toward the limo as though we might drive off without him, and I jumped out and met him in a hug.
“I’m so happy to see you,” he told me, patting my hair.
“I saw you yesterday morning,” I countered, trying to make light of the situation. “I’m sorry I was so out of it last night. I don’t even remember the drive back.”
“It’s okay.” He pulled the door open and motioned for me to get in, flashing a smile that sparked in his eyes. “I mostly chatted with Dre and Hamburger.”
Lead Heart (Seraph Black Book 3) Page 18