“What happened?” she asked again, more desperation in her voice. She wasn’t used to how she sounded. Words tumbled out of her mouth like swamp water.
Pux looked at his hands and covered a small cut on his right hand with his thumb. He picked up a piece of bread and pressed it into her hands. “You should eat something.” She took it, dark brown and rough. It tasted heavy and bitter. She almost spit it out but her stomach growled and her taste buds savored it. She chewed for a long time before swallowing. Pux glanced at the people in the hall, wiped his hands on his thighs and drummed his fingers on the table.
“Who are you looking for?” Kaliel asked.
“Has Krishani seen you yet?”
Her mind went blank for a second. Pux hadn’t seen Krishani when she went rushing towards him. She nodded. “He told me to come inside.”
Pux let out a breath of relief and Kaliel raised an eyebrow. Agitation festered in her bones, threatening to overwhelm her. She loathed not knowing what was going on. Why were they on Terra? Why did Pux look like he hadn’t eaten in weeks? Why were they fighting? Why did Krishani feel so cold and harsh? All of a sudden Pux’s eyes lit up like they did when they were kids in the forest of Evennses. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
She let out a shaky laugh. “I can’t believe you haven’t turned the bread green or something.” Maybe being normal with him would take away all the awkwardness.
It didn’t work. Pux looked away. “I can’t do that stuff here.”
“Why are you here?”
He slid a hand down his thigh. “I um … I didn’t mean to come. It was an accident.”
“We’re in the Lands of Men aren’t we?” Her tone was lower, grave. She remembered the days she raced to the lake and looked at the colorful night sky and swam with merfolk. She never intended to leave Avristar. The Lands of Men were scary places reminding her of nightmares and foes she wasn’t strong enough to face. The weight against her chest squeezed as she thought about the battlefield. The Valtanyana were hunting her weren’t they? Crestaos was out there somewhere, she wasn’t safe.
Pux nodded. He didn’t say anything but his eyes brimmed with tears. She pushed up from the table and sat on the floor. Pux followed, his head falling on her lap. She stroked his hair the way she would if they were home, sitting in the forest, looking for herbs.
“Why is everyone fighting again?” She studied the people in the hall. Some of them were familiar, tall elvens in gold armor, burgundy breeches and beige tunics. Muscular feorns, in vests, arm plates and knee length breeches. Humans with stodgy builds, long grainy hair, full beards, and beady eyes slipped between the warriors. They looked panicked, their thick garments making them move slower. None of them matched, other than the gray wool tunics and colorless breeches they were individuals. They moved out of view and she looked at Pux who was breathing in shallow intervals, like he was reliving the violence.
“Crestaos came again. Krishani challenged him.”
Kaliel gasped and brought a hand to her mouth. Her heart thumped feverishly, pain lancing through it. Pux sat and swiveled so he was facing her. “Don’t—Crestaos is dead. Krishani killed him. And I don’t know for sure, but some of the others were shouting, saying they killed the Daed, too. I don’t know exactly.” Pux pulled her hand away from her lips and brushed the tears off her cheek.
She hadn’t even realized she was crying. “Krishani killed him?” It felt heavy like there was a rock in her chest instead of a heart. It throbbed, the sound reverberating in her ears, her entire body trembling. Dumbfounded she thought of the boy she had met in Avristar. That boy wasn’t strong enough to face someone like Crestaos. “And he lived?”
Pux smiled. “I don’t know how it happened, but it’s all going to be okay now. There won’t be any more battles.”
Kaliel smiled and excitement saturated her. “That’s great.… ” She sat straighter and let the Flame turn her eyes a familiar amethyst. “Can we go home?”
Pux looked away. There was something different about him, something he wasn’t telling her. She followed his gaze and caught the outline of the man in brown robes with long brown and grayish hair. The one Krishani pointed at before. He was shorter than the elvens but they parted for him as he walked across the hall. His eyes stung the people with ferocity until they settled on her. She pulled her knees to her chest and glanced at Pux who seemed stricken. So there wasn’t anything good between them. She realized he hadn’t said anything about going home and a sticky feeling pooled in her gut. “Who is that?” she asked as the man wended through the crowd towards them.
“Elwen Tavesin,” Pux answered automatically, casting his eyes downward. Elwen reached them and Pux froze, bowing his head in response as Elwen’s eyes hardened.
Elwen’s eyes fell on her and the penetrating gaze made her body jolt. There was an immediate danger in his eyes, one she remembered only once before. It was the same insatiable hunger she witnessed in Crestaos’s white lightning eyes. In Elwen’s brown eyes the venom was faint, but it was there. She wasn’t safe around him.
“The Amethyst Flame?” he presumed, extending a hand to her. She didn’t take it, but got to her feet, realizing how soiled her clothes looked. She also realized she was wet, which was more than uncomfortable. “Welcome to Castle Tavesin. I am Elwen, Krishani’s ancestor.” His hand hung there, outstretched, expectant.
Kaliel frowned and took it briefly, following him as he shook. It wasn’t a custom she was used to in Avristar. The shake made her arm feel heavier. She tried to ignore the feeling and looked at her dress, running her hands along it, brushing off patches of mud. She gave him a meek smile. It seemed like he forgot about Pux and her eyes flicked to the feorn but Pux pretended to be interested in the floor.
“Kaliel,” she began. “My name is Kaliel.” She didn’t like how Elwen addressed her: ‘the Amethyst Flame’. That wasn’t what she thought of herself. Life was better when she was a girl, and not a Flame.
“Aye, sorry. Kaliel.” Elwen smiled wistfully. “Is there anything we can bring you? Food you prefer? Blankets? You probably want to get out of those wet clothes. Can I bring my servants to help you get dressed?” He sounded intimidated by her presence. She looked at an awestruck Pux. So this was the nicest thing Elwen ever said.
“No, thank you. I mean, I’m famished.” She glanced at the hunk of bread on the table and the rest of the food, people picking at it intermittently. “I think I’ll wait until Krishani is finished.”
Elwen smiled wide. “Aye, Krishani. So you were the gift from the land.”
“I’m sorry?”
Elwen shook his head. “I’m sure Krishani will be finished soon.” He pivoted, ready to leave. “I’ll send my servants the moment you need them. Simply say the word.” He hastened across the stony floor and pressed his feet into the soiled red carpet, being absorbed by the crowd.
Kaliel felt her knees buckle as she slunk against the wall. She glanced at Pux. He looked bewildered. She pushed her head against the stone. “Everything is so different here.”
Pux raised an eyebrow. “And he’s never that nice. What are you Kaliel?” He sounded almost teasing. She sighed and glared at him. “The way he looked at you.…”
She shuddered and he lay down on her thigh. She rested her hand on his neck. “I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t make me remember it. Can you talk about Avristar?”
Pux took a deep breath. “Do you remember that time at the pond with Lorus?”
She smiled. “You mean that time you two tried to outdo each other by climbing as high as you could and jumping in?”
“Aye, that time.”
Kaliel sighed. Her mind drifted to Krishani and his coldness, Elwen and his dangerous eyes, but she settled against the wall and tried to pretend she was back at home in Evennses watching Pux and Lorus climb trees. She feared nothing would ever be like that again.
* * *
2 - Mortality and Immortality
Pux talked about Avr
istar for a long time. Even though his chest tightened, he didn’t stop. The night drew on and Krishani didn’t come back. More warriors poured into the hall and the table of food became a table of scraps. Servants came by twice to check on them, but they stayed pressed against the stone wall in their corner of the hall, tucked between the small pillars of thick rock. Pux kept his head on her lap, and she ran her hands through his hair. It was comforting. He had his best friend back and wanted to be giddy, but there was nothing to be excited about. His bones ached, fur concealing dark bruises forming along his mid section. At one point he took off the armor and chainmail and threw it on the floor beside them.
Kaliel talked, and laughed at the funny parts. She didn’t say anything about Krishani and he wondered why, but snuffed those thoughts out. Pux loved her, but it wasn’t like that. He would never see her as the Amethyst Flame. He couldn’t fathom why Elwen looked at her like she was Lady Atara. It didn’t seem right. She didn’t exude greatness. Pux reveled more in the subtleties of her nature. Her infectious laugh, her gentle caresses. Her voice wasn’t the same but it was soothing. She talked about trees, tripping on roots, losing the games. She avoided talking about Fire Festivals or waterfalls, or anything that might lead them to the chaos around them.
Pux never wanted to see a battlefield again. His time of death and killing was behind him. He hadn’t done much in this battle. The way Handele, the leader of the Avristarian army, fought was different. Pux always had another warrior on either side of him. They were taller so he found himself crouching and stabbing for torsos or thighs. The others went for the heads. He stifled a sigh. He was tired and it didn’t look like anything was going to end soon. People were still talking, laughing, and drinking. He wanted to be merry like them but the more he listened to Kaliel’s stories, the more he thought of Avristar. He missed the island.
Pux closed his eyes. At least Krishani had seen her first. He didn’t want to take that away. There were so many things he wanted to tell Kaliel but he didn’t know how she would react. Krishani was so different the last time they spoke. Losing her was the one thing he couldn’t deal with.
Pux glanced at the door for the umpteenth time, looking for the Ferryman. He curled himself into a ball, his knees against his chest. He heard enough of Elwen’s ramblings to know what Krishani was doing out there.
The battle ended for everyone else, but it was just beginning for Krishani.
Pux didn’t want to tell Kaliel what Krishani was like after the mountain exploded. He didn’t want to talk about being the last person to see her, or what Mallorn said about Krishani being exiled.
Pux glanced up again. Mallorn. How would he tell Kaliel Mallorn was dead? He saw it out of the corner of his eye, and wasn’t fast enough to help him. Pux grimaced, Mallorn wasn’t known for being warm. Even when the Horsemen had sliced open his back, Mallorn showed no compassion. The moment he was out of the feverish sleep Mallorn suggested Pux work with the villagers instead of hiding. Pux alternated between the stables and the barn. He didn’t mind it, even though it was laborious and the villagers didn’t like games.
“What are you thinking about Pux?” Kaliel asked. Her voice sounded distant. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head. He sat and leaned against the stone beside her. She glanced at him and the resemblance was striking. She had an oval face and pale white skin. Her hair was a mass of long black curls that trickled to her waist. Her eyes shifted, more of a forest green than bright emerald green. Her lips were pale pink, chapped. She pressed them together and drew her eyebrows taut when his gaze hovered on them. He looked at her hands and tried to ignore her scrutinizing gaze. It was so hard to take in.
The first and last time he met Aulises she was cursing about her family, and fighting with one of the guards for a sword. She didn’t even want armor, she just wanted to go out there and stab things. That girl wasn’t anything like Kaliel, that girl was trying to get herself killed. And now that girl was dead, and Kaliel was in her place.
“You stopped talking,” Kaliel said.
“It’s just so hard to believe,” he muttered. “I mean you’re here, it’s really you.”
“And you’re really you.” She laughed, a smile stuck to her lips but there was something melancholy behind it. He glanced at the people milling about the hall and waited. She pressed her hands between her thighs. He pulled his knees up halfway and rested his hands on them. They sat in silence for a long time. There was a lot more to talk about, but it wasn’t time, not yet, not with everything in disarray.
Pux tensed as Grimand, clad in a gray cloak, strode through the hall, his head moving back and forth like an animal looking for a bone. Pux ducked his head to his knees to avoid being seen when Grimand stalked the floor towards him.
“Pux,” Grimand said, nearing the table of food. He glanced at it briefly, reaching for a piece of bread, but dismissed it. “Where have you been?”
“Here, all night,” Pux answered. It was true, he hadn’t moved.
Grimand nodded. “Good then. You didn’t fight did you?”
“Handele said I could.” His voice squeaked on the words. He glanced at Kaliel, but she was nodding off, her eyelids drooping closed, slack hands falling to her sides.
Grimand took a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. His face was hairier than Pux’s. Gray hairs grew amidst the bristles of brown and reddish hazel. “Everyone is leaving by dawn. I’ll be traveling back to Avristar with the wounded and able-bodied warriors.”
“Avristar,” Kaliel said, as though she had been listening the whole time.
Pux glanced at her and Grimand noticed her for the first time. He furrowed his brow like he didn’t know who she was, but when she opened her eyes they were full of traces of amethyst. “How did she get here?” Grimand asked, stunned.
Pux knew what he was thinking. They were only children, they didn’t know what they were doing. He fidgeted with the hem of his breeches. “I don’t know how it happened … but it’s Kaliel.”
Grimand flinched. He muttered something incomprehensible and shifted his weight, thumping his heavy wolf feet on the floor. “You need to get back to your lessons, Pux.”
Pux felt small. In the midst of everything happening he forgot about the Great Oak’s words. He wasn’t meant for greatness. He was supposed to be an eternal student. Learning and relearning lessons. For the first time in a long time hot anger streaked through him as he gritted his teeth. “I think I’m learning a lot of things here.”
Grimand scoffed. “If you want I can ask Lady Atara to give you a bore to look after in Evennses. Would that help?” His tone was chiding, but his stern face was full of resolve. “You’ll leave with us in the morning.”
“Is everyone going home then?” Kaliel asked, her voice full of concern.
“Not everyone. Handele is taking the elvens and gargoyles back to Arathia for training.”
“What about me and Krishani? Are we going with you?” Kaliel asked. Pux would recognize that tone anywhere. She sounded the same way she did before sobbing, distraught. She didn’t know what to think. He glanced past Grimand at the door but there was no sign of Krishani. If anyone could comfort her it was him. Grimand turned expressionless. An awkward silence hung between them until Kaliel pushed herself to her feet and crossed her arms, glowering at him.
“Krishani’s rightful place is Terra,” Grimand said.
“Oh.” Kaliel dropped her gaze.
“I’m sure Elwen will allow you to stay,” Grimand continued.
“I thought since you were going to Avristar … I could go back to my lessons,” she muttered, shifting uncomfortably foot-to-foot.
Grimand took a deep breath. “You don’t have lessons. At least not on Avristar.”
Pux couldn’t take it anymore. He crossed his arms and gritted his teeth. “I’m not going.”
Grimand turned his attention back to his apprentice. “That’s not really your choice.”
Pux shrugged. “I want to stay with
Kaliel. Elwen already told me I don’t have to leave.”
Grimand shook his head, exhausted, and glanced at the table of food. “The humans are greedy. This is your last opportunity to come home. After that I doubt Lord Istar will send me to bring you back. You’ll be here until you live out your mortal life.”
Pux recoiled like he had been slapped. “Mortal life? What do you mean?” He glanced at Kaliel who looked sick to her stomach.
“Feorns live about fifty mortal years, and they die, like everyone else. Be happy, humans only live thirty five years.”
“Elwen,” Pux stuttered, unable to hide the shock in his voice.
“Elwen has immortality.” He glanced at the crowds of people. “A form of it at least. He isn’t what I’m talking about.”
Pux felt lost. Nobody ever talked about dying on Avristar, it was something so rare it was unthinkable. The only time he ever saw death on Avristar was when the creatures came, and when he followed Krishani to Terra. He shuddered at the thought of the desecrated village. All he dreamed about since returning to Elwen’s compound was Avristar. He thought he could stifle the pain of losing Kaliel and eventually be numb. He’d live forever and make her proud. Instead, the girl he thought was gone forever stood beside him looking frail, confused and distrait. He couldn’t leave, not if she wasn’t coming with him.
Kaliel’s forest green eyes bore into his brown ones and he flinched. “Maybe you should go home.”
Pux shook his head furiously. “I think I need to stay.” Death, greedy humans, magic he couldn’t do anymore—it throbbed in the back of his mind, but he’d do anything for Kaliel.
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