by Autumn Brown
People’s initial reaction over the years told me everything I needed to know. Most people pretended they weren’t looking. Those were the nice people. Some people made a face, showing sympathy or pity. Some people were mean, making faces like they thought I should stay home, or wear a bag over my head. From time to time, a few people were really mean saying awful things. I’ve had to toughen up over the years.
On my first day of school here, I ran into Taylor and Jose, the guy she was dating at the time. She didn’t even look my way, but I saw her. She was so pretty and had such a great personality. I couldn’t believe she was dating someone like Jose. He was a jerk. Talk about a mismatch.
An hour ago, she was laughing and talking to me, pretending she wanted to be friends. I couldn’t believe it. I’d always thought she was a nice girl. Apparently not. That fact crushed me even more. She was one of the girls that I sort of had up on a pedestal. Did she think I was stupid? I was tired of being the butt of everyone’s joke here at Buckeye. I have a birthmark. Damn, people. Look at it, then get over it.
After History, I met up with Zane in the hallway. We always did lunch together. Out of nowhere, he slammed me up against the bank of lockers in anger. He’d never done that before. We’d been friends since I started school here last year. Now he was acting like he wanted to hit me. Big mistake dude. I was sure I could take him down with one punch. I waited against the lockers for an explanation, as he took a deep breath.
“What the hell, dude?” I asked him angrily when he didn’t explain himself quickly enough.
“Don’t you ever talk to Taylor like that again!” he yelled to my face, even though his face was still really close to mine.
“How did you know about that?” I asked him, confused. Did she tell him already? It happened less than an hour ago. I’d told her off basically. I wasn’t going to put up with that shit any longer. Girls were really mean at this school for some reason. They weren’t this way in my old school in California. I wished so badly that I was still there. At least the girls talked to me there.
“What the hell’s wrong with you? When someone like Taylor shows an interest in you, you don’t act like an asshole to her. You thank your lucky stars that she even looked your way.” He warned me angrily, then let me away from the lockers.
“Chill out, dude. She’s not interested in me. I know you still like her, but she’s messing with me, just like those other girls. Pretending she’s interested, so she can report back to her girlfriends what a loser I am.” I tried to explain the facts to him. When I first started school here last year, two girls acted like they wanted to be friends with me. Ellen and Abigail. When I started being friendly, they both started laughing and ran off to their friends, still laughing. I walked away. I knew Taylor was messing with me. I hated to tell Zane that the girl he’s been in love with for years was the type of girl who would do that though.
“Taylor doesn’t play those games. Do you think I’d like her, if she did? I’d never like someone like Ellen or Vicky. Taylor actually likes you. Don’t ask me why.” He said firmly. He was still so mad at me that he could barely speak.
Was he serious? There’s no way she could actually like me. Not like that anyway. I hoped he was right, but he couldn’t be right. It wasn’t even in the realm of possibility.
“Are you messing with me? That’s not true. And, even if it was, I couldn’t move in on her. You’re in love with her.” I told him.
“It’s true. She told me that she liked you. You made her cry, dude. And, Taylor never cries, not at school anyway.” He said again firmly.
“I’ll apologize. But I can’t possibly go there with you feeling that way about her, Zane. We’re friends. Friends don’t do that to each other.” I told him. I couldn’t do that to a friend.
“She and I are never going to get together. You need to go for it. And, you damn sure better apologize to her even if you don’t have the balls to go for it.” He warned me.
Damn. Could he be right? I couldn’t believe that someone like Taylor could like me. Over the years, no girl has ever liked me. Not that I knew about anyway. I’d had several girls in California who were friends, that I thought might develop into something, but it never did. I wasn’t sure if that was my fault or theirs though. I’d never gotten the nerve to ask a girl out before.
I’d better find her and apologize at least. I’d take it from there. Damn, I hope I didn’t screw this up. I was still having trouble digesting the fact that she liked me. I mean, if I had my choice of girls at this school, I’d pick her. Taylor could have any guy she wanted probably. Why would she choose me? Was she blind? Couldn’t she see my birthmark? Everyone else at this school sure could.
Taylor POV.
At lunch with my best friend, Sandy, I whined about my run-in with Spencer. I was still reeling from that pain and shock. Sandy wanted to go have a talk with him. She was always really protective of me. She stood by me when I got a bad perm last year. She stood behind me when I ripped my pants at school. She was a true best friend, always there when I needed her.
I walked toward my Office Management class. On the way there, I spotted Spencer in the hallway in front of me. I stopped, then turned around to go the other way. I could make the big circle to class. I had time. And, I didn’t want to face him. I was too embarrassed to look in his eyes again after what he said to me this morning. I really didn’t want a repeat episode.
I felt someone pull on my arm. I turned around to see Spencer grabbing my arm. He pulled me to the side of the hallway, pulling me away from the other people in the hallway. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asked.
I shook my head without saying a word. I looked down and tried to walk away quickly. He pulled on my arm, bringing me back toward him.
“Please. I want to apologize.” He almost pleaded with me.
“Apologize?” I asked weakly as I waited awkwardly for him to say something.
“I wasn’t very nice to you this morning. I’m sorry.” He apologized. He seemed really sincere.
I waited for a second, then spoke. “That’s okay. I guess you were having a bad day.” I let him off the hook.
“The girls in this school haven’t been very nice to me. I thought you were going to be just like them. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry a few girls weren’t nice to you, but that doesn’t mean that all the girls here are going to be mean to you. Don’t turn gay on us, just because of a few mean girls. I was nice to you.” I chastised him. Maybe that was it; he thought I was going to be like Vicky and the other girls. I couldn’t really blame him for his paranoia.
He chuckled a little and shook his head. “You’ve been really nice. I was the only one being mean. Can we start over? I’m Spencer.”
He held out his hand for me to shake. I shook it and smiled up at him. He was tall. I liked tall guys. I really liked the way his T-shirt clung to his chest, too. I felt my stomach jump looking at his biceps. His jeans were really nice too, hugging in all the right places. His facial structure was almost perfect, high cheekbones and full lips. And, those eyes were so pretty. They were light brown. His hair was perfect, short in the back and kind of long in the front and the top. Everything about him was perfect. What was wrong with the girls at this school?
“I’m Taylor. I don’t think we were actually introduced.” I tried to laugh even though I was feeling a little self conscious.
There was an awkward silence. I couldn’t think of a thing to say to him now.
“So, maybe I’ll see you tonight after school, Taylor.” he said uneasily.
I liked how he said my name. I smiled at him. “After practice? At Senior Pole?”
“I’ll be there tonight.” he promised.
I wondered for a second why he hadn’t been there every night after practice, then I remembered that Vicky and her friends were usually there. Maybe that’s why he disappeared before I saw him every night. I wished that I’d seen him before. He seemed like such a nice guy. Zane said he wa
s a great guy. I could always count on Zane to tell me the truth about guys. He’d called it exactly right about Jose and Dwayne. I should have listened to him.
About that time, Terri walked by. She glanced over at Spencer and me. She gave us one of her wicked smiles. I knew she was about to say something mean. I could always tell when it was time to take cover around her. “Hey, Taylor. Watch out. I think that might be contagious. You might want to step back a little.” She laughed.
As if that was funny! What a bitch! Spencer gave a resigned look and shook his head in defeat. He was embarrassed. He started to walk off. I grabbed his forearm to keep him from leaving. I wanted him to know that it didn’t matter to me what she said. He pulled away still.
I yelled out to Terri. “I don’t think you’re a very good judge of what’s contagious and what’s not. How’s that rash that Rob gave you a few weeks ago? Is it cleared up yet?”
Terri stopped and turned around. She gave me a look that could have killed me. She started walking toward me angrily. I stood my ground. I wasn’t about to run and hide. I owed her big time for last year. I was too embarrassed to face her down last year, but this year I wasn’t taking it. And, I wasn’t going to stand by while she made fun of a nice guy like Spencer. She turned back around and walked away.
Spencer smiled at me. “Thanks. But how did you know about the rash?”
“My friend Karen works in the nurse’s office. She’s full of handy tidbits sometimes. She said Rob came in a few weeks ago. And, I saw Rob with Terri about that time at a party. She may have given it to him.”
“That one was very handy.” He said with a smile.
“See you tonight.” I said as we parted ways.
He smiled at me again. I could feel his smile all the way to my feet. He was such a genuine guy. I don’t know why I was so attracted to him without even knowing him. It was almost like a magnet was pulling me toward him.
After a grueling practice, the girls made their way to the Senior Pole. The guys were already there. They had short practices on the nights before games. Vicky, Dawn, and Terri were already there. Terri looked up at me, then looked down quickly. I gave her an upwards nod, basically daring her to say something about Spencer’s face again.
Spencer was there too. He stood next to Zane in a tank top and gym shorts. Man he looked good. He had an incredible body, a nice chest, small waist, and great legs. I watched him as I walked up to the group. He looked up and smiled at me. I returned the smile.
“So, did you guys have to run today?” I tugged at Zane’s tank top. They usually wore sweats when they did their football drills or worked out, but they wore shorts when they ran. They looked much better in their shorts.
Zane laughed.
“The coach says Glendale is way faster than us, so he’s running us, getting us ready for tomorrow night.” Jose informed the group.
Sally walked up about that time. “We’ve got a new halfback starting.” She said cheerfully. She said everything cheerfully. She was a true cheerleader. No wonder she was the team captain this year.
I smiled at Spencer. “We sure do. Maybe we’ll win.” I tried to joke.
“I hope so.” Spencer said to the guys with the laugh, but he never looked at the girls. It was obvious that he wasn’t comfortable talking to the girls, but he was completely at ease around the guys.
Shelly walked up and put her arm around Jose’s waist. She’d been his girlfriend for several months now. And, the way they touched in public, I was pretty sure they were having sex. I’d noticed little things, like how he’d slip his hand inside her waistband. Or slip his hand up the inside of her leg while she was sitting next to him. He’d finally found someone who put out. She was a nice girl, I thought. She’d never been mean to me in any way, but I did notice that she always put her arm around Jose pretty tightly when I was around. Maybe it was just the fact that I was a former girlfriend. Maybe I read too much into things.
We stood around and talked for another thirty minutes, then everyone decided that it was time to go home. It was our usual after school routine. When we ran out of conversation, it was time to head home.
“Do you need a ride tonight?” Zane asked Spencer.
“Yes, if you don’t mind. I can call my aunt if you’re not going home though.” Spencer answered him. He seemed completely at ease around Zane.
“Where do you live?” I asked him. Zane lived in Palo Verde, so Spencer had to live somewhere near him to be bumming a ride.
“Palo Verde.” He answered me.
“Really? Where?” I asked him. “I live in Palo Verde.”
“Bruner Road.” He answered.
“I live on Narramore. I pass right by Bruner. I’ll give you a ride home.” I offered. What a perfect excuse to spend more time with him.
“That’s okay. I always ride with Zane.” He balked.
Just when I thought I was getting somewhere. Darn it.
“Actually I wanted to go see Mary for a few minutes.” Zane said. “Ride with Taylor. I forgot that you live closer to her.”
I laughed. “Are you scared to ride with me? I’m a good driver.” I teased him. I knew that he wasn’t scared of my driving. I knew he was scared of me.
“Okay. Thanks.” Spencer said uneasily.
Zane and Spencer walked with me to the parking lot. I always walked with someone when I went to the parking lot at night. Sometimes the parking lot wasn’t the safest place for a girl alone. One girl was attacked last year by a guy just passing through town. He stole her purse and beat her up a little bit. Other than that, she was fine. Spencer walked on the other side of Zane. Zane winked at me as I stepped into my car. He’d lied to force Spencer to ride with me. He was always on the lookout for me. He was a good friend.
Spencer sat in the passenger seat after I cleaned it out. My gym clothes were scattered all over the seat, along with some candy bar wrappers. I ate on the way to school most of the time. “Sorry. I’m such a slob sometimes. Well, I guess I’m a slob most of the time.”
Spencer laughed. He scooted the seat back so his legs weren’t so cramped. Sandy was the last person to ride in that seat, and she wasn’t very tall. She was about five four, just a little taller than me.
“So, why didn’t you want to ride with me?” I asked him after I’d started the car and backed out. He couldn’t jump out now that we were moving.
“I…” he said, then stopped. “I wasn’t sure if it would be putting you out.”
I could tell it was a lie, but what could I do? I couldn’t call him a liar. That wouldn’t be a smart move right now. “So where did you go to school last?” I asked him.
“Riverside California.” He answered.
“Is that near a beach? Did you surf?” I asked. It was the only thing I really knew about California. That, and it had Disneyland, and it was falling off into the ocean any day now.
“I did go on the weekends. The beach wasn’t too far away.” He answered.
“I’ve been surfing a couple of times. We have cousins that live in El Cajon. It was fun. It’s really pretty out there.”
“I know where that is. Did you actually get up on the board?” he asked impressed.
“A few times. I wiped out a lot more times, though.” I laughed out the words.
He laughed. He had a great laugh. I loved listening to him. He had a great voice. It was deep, but not too deep, and really smooth somehow. “What do you do here? Since surfing is out.”
“I cheer, and practice our routines. And, I work, helping my dad out on the farm and the dairy.”
“That sounds like fun.” He said.
I was sure he was just trying to be polite. “It may sound like it. But it’s not. Have you ever milked a cow that didn’t want to be milked before?”
He laughed again. “No. I’ve never milked a cow. I don’t think I’ve even seen too many cows.”
“You should come over this weekend. I’ll teach you how.” I said, taunting him.
He laughed ag
ain.
“Really. You should come over. You live close enough. I’ll pick you up at four Saturday.” I told him, threatening him playfully. Did I just ask him out? Was milking cows considered a date?
“Okay. Pick me up at four. We are talking about four in the afternoon. Right? I don’t want you driving up at four in the morning. I won’t be awake.” Spencer said, teasing with me. He seemed to be loosening up some.
I liked the looser Spencer. He was more fun.
“We do it at four in the morning, too. Sometimes I can get out of that one though. I think my dad gets tired of trying to wake me up. But I never get out of the afternoon milking.” I told him.