by Mandi Beck
To those who have struggled or are struggling now with substance abuse.
You are not your addiction. You have the power within you to get clean and stay that way. I believe in you. Just believe in yourself. Believe that you can do it. Be your own cure. If you’ve already kicked addiction in its ass I applaud you. I’ve seen first-hand how hard the battle it is, but you did it. Be proud of that accomplishment and live each day reminding yourself that you are stronger than any drug.
Mandi
First I need to thank my husband and my boys. I’m a wife and a mom first and foremost but he believes in me and encourages me to chase this crazy writers dream. He just smiles at me and tells me, “it’s okay, Sug.” When the house is a wreck, the clothes aren’t folded and we’re eating takeout for the third night in a row because I’m on deadline. I would be so completely lost without you, Ran. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
And to my boys who miss me even when I’m in the same room but know without doubt, that I love them to infinity and beyond.
To my girls, Jayda and Kaitie. I miss you both so much and want you to never stop dreaming and reaching for the stars. Love you.
To my mom and dad, sister and brother who support me blindly because I won’t let them read.
Addy
There aren’t enough hashtags in the world to thank you for being my #notdeadopie You’re always there to light the fire under my ass and keep my going. Your friendship means the world to me. I love you a ton and couldn’t do this without your support. I’ll be your faith, you be mine. #TheTinaToMyAmy #Wildfire #ELC
Becks Beta Babes
Who, Stephy, Thistle, Goldie, Mellie, Cora, Nini, Jilly, Candace, McKinley, You bunch of ladies mean the world to me. I torture the hell out of you with little bits of story and you take it with a smile. You’re always there when I need you and have helped to make each of my books what they are. Your support is invaluable as is your friendship. Thank you. I love you all a ton.
And to Lucy, Leigh, Jenn, Melissa and Sarah for adding an extra set of eyes to make sure I put my best foot forward. Thanks for not hating it!
Bitchesnachos
The three of you begin and end just about every single one of my days and never is there anything but love between us. That’s what friendship is supposed to look like. #stillnotgonnaswallow #warmandfuzzy #timezones #PFD
Carleen
You hate to feel feels almost as much as I do but I need to take a second to tell you that this story would not have been nearly what it turned out to be without you. This story is just as much a part of you as it is me. Thank you for your help, your dedication and your friendship. Law is yours. Love you a ton.
Coco
Your encouragement and friendship and wicked awesome care packages make my word go round. Love you to bits, chick!
Corinne
My OZ. What more is there to say? You’re always there to answer all of my stupid questions. And there are a lot! I love you a ton and your never ending support means the world to me. Cunty friends for life.
FYW
Thank you ladies so much for your encouragement and support. You’re all a wealth of information. I’m constantly learning new things from you that help me to hone my craft. And thank you CD Reiss for being the crazy amazing investigator that you are, putting this Chicken Little at ease time and time again. #WednesdaysWeWearPink
Jude
Thank you for always letting me vent and for being the best Trailer Park Tart there is. I love you more than words! #WhatACunt #Potty
Lauren
Not only are you an amazing, AMAZING photographer but you’re also an amazing friend. One of my dearest and I’m so thankful for you. I can’t wait for our next project and I for sure can’t wait to house crash your new place next summer. I love you a ton.
Lisa
My world traveling, world class editor who puts up with my crazy issue with tenses and my dislike of commas. You’re the best!
Mandi’s Lovers and Fighters
You guys are hands down the best. I can’t thank you enough for all that you da and for your dedication to getting my name out there. Thank you, I couldn’t do this without you in my corner.
PVPPC
We’ve come a long way and your support is unwavering. I love you all a ton and can’t thank you enough.
Perfectly Publishable
Christine, you my friend are amazing. You go above and beyond for me each and every time and thanks just isn’t enough. And please feel free to always leave me Voice messages because I can’t get enough of your accent.
Stephy Poo
There aren’t enough ways to say thank you for all that you do. There isn’t a single job description I could pin on you that would cover every aspect of the tasks you take on. You’re amazing and one of my very best friends and I adore you. Love you, my friend.
Sommer
Thank you for the amazing cover you created. You’ve helped to bring my story to life. You nailed it right on the head and were so patient with me. I can’t wait for our next project!
Thundercunts
You ladies make my world go round and brighten up each and every day. Even when you make me catch a case of feelings. I love you to death. #patpat
TRSOR
Thank you so much for helping me to make this release all that it has been. You guys are a force! Especially my twinsie!
To all of my girls on IG who keep me swooning over their incredible talent, I love your faces!
To our little Life . . . ish family, Lisa, Lexy, Jade and Addy, you ladies are the best and I’m so glad we decided to do this thing together! Love your faces# #teatime
To the members of Mandi Beck’s Books, Dirty Love, Life…ish, TBR and Top Shelf
Thank you for always being there and interested in what we have to say. Especially to those of you who suffer through my Monday Morning videos. You guys are my happy place!
To the Bloggers both big and small! You guys are the heart and soul of the book world. Nobody works harder. Thank you for all that you do and for taking a chance on us authors.
I always feel like I’ve forgotten everyone. Not just someone, but everyone so if you feel forgotten I’m sorry. None of this can be done alone. Thank you for helping me to realize my dream.
Mandi Beck has been an avid reader all of her life. A deep love for books always had her jotting down little stories on napkins, notebooks, and her hand. As an adult she was further submerged into the book world through book clubs and the epicness of social media. It was then that she graduated to writing her stories on her phone and then finally on a proper computer.
A nursing student, mother to two rambunctious and somewhat rotten boys, and stepmom to two great girls away at college, she shares her time with her husband in Chicago where she was born and raised. Mandi is a diehard hockey fan and blames the Blackhawks when her deadlines are not met.
She is currently working on the next in the series along with trying to keep up with whatever other voices are clamoring for attention in her mind.
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ALSO BY MANDI
CAGED LOVE SERIES
Love Hurts
Love Burns
WRECKED SERIES
Stoned
Judged (Coming Soon)
Nothing can kill a mood faster than having your cock in some chick’s mouth when the woman you love is calling. I sit in the chair, head thrown back, thinking about whether I should answer the call or not. I haven’t heard that ringtone in two months. Never did I think that I would miss hearing Iggy Azalea telling me how fucking “Fancy” I am. That’s my girl though—she’s got jokes.
Two months, two fucking months, and she calls now? Snorting, I shake my head, debating how badly I want to hear her voice and know what she has to say. Bad enough to kick this bitch out? I don’t know who I’m trying to bullshit. There�
��s nothing—nothing—I want more than to talk to her, to hear that raspy, sexy voice that I’ve missed so much. Fuck, just thinking about it is making me harder than I’ve been all night. I need to make a decision before this chick thinks that it’s her that has me going solid in her mouth.
My mind made up, I sigh. We’ve gone long enough without speaking. I just want to talk to my girl, see where her head’s at. I don’t even care if she’s calling to bitch at me, as long as she’s calling. Does that make me a pussy? Oh well if it does. I need her and clearly she needs me.
“I can’t believe that you’re allowing this to happen, Deacon.”
“It’s the Princess, Mav. She loves all of this shit. Always has, no matter how hard we tried to beat it out of her growing up,” I tell him, shrugging in acceptance, thankful that we didn’t succeed.
“Yeah, but she also likes cool stuff. Like sports. Indie couldn’t do a hockey-themed party?” he snorts, mildly disgusted.
Shaking my head, I slap him on the back and walk away, heading into the house. Let him tell Indie he doesn’t like the party. I’d have one less brother, but it might be worth it to see how that whole conversation plays out. I’m not even sure what the theme is supposed to be. There’s lace. A lot of lace and feathers…and leather? All over my house. How the fuck does she come up with this shit? Not that I’m complaining. It’s actually really sexy. I don’t have time to explain that to my dumbass brothers though.
I bound up the stairs two at a time, needing to get ready for this party. I hope like hell that I’m able to stay cool. Today is not the day for me to beat the shit out of Frankie’s douchebag boyfriend. It’s getting harder and harder for me to see them together. I’ve always struggled seeing her with other guys, but I couldn’t do shit about it. Not without coming clean about how I feel about her, so I’ve just learned to grin and fucking bear it. Well, that noise is getting old and I’m getting sick as fuck of fighting the urge to claim her ass.
I’m not weak, but this thing with Frankie has me frustrated as hell. I’ve been a total prick to be around lately and don’t have time for any of the bullshit right now. I’m leaving for my next series of fights and the Elite Warriors Federation doesn’t give a fuck if I have sand in my vagina over a woman or not. I am a professional MMA fighter and they expect me to act like it. I can’t afford any distractions right now—not even the Princess, who is a huge distraction.
Striding into my bedroom, I go straight for my music system, firing it up and setting it to shuffle. I enter the bathroom knowing Indie is going to be pissed. I’m sure my playlist isn’t what she had in mind for her little sex-themed party.
Jumping out of the shower, towel slung low on my hips, I head back into my room and the walk-in closet, rubbing another towel over my head, drying my hair. After being in the military and told that I had to wear my hair short, I’ve rebelled since I was discharged and now wear it long. Even though it’s kind of a pain in my ass, especially in the cage where fuckers like to pull it like a bunch of girls. I pull a pair of boxer briefs out of my dresser, slip into them, and finish dressing before throwing my boots on. I see that Frankie is at it again when I open the vanity drawer.
Shaking my head, I grab one of the pink hair ties she has replaced my black ones with, yet again, and shove it into my front pocket along with my phone. Checking my watch, I realize that guests are probably arriving and head to the safe in my office to grab Frankie’s present. I look in the bag with the two blue boxes that I picked up earlier in the week and smile as I flick the light off and head downstairs. Indie is at the landing, stabbing her fingers at the panel that controls the sound system.
“What are you doing, woman? Why are you being so rough with my shit?” I growl at her, swatting her hands away.
“The DJ is trying to set up and do a sound check but all anyone can hear is your shitty music!” she shouts.
Glancing down at the bag I hold, she jerks her chin in my direction.
“Is that her gift?”
“Yep.”
“You gonna show me?”
“Nope,” I say as I walk past whistling.
“Are you wearing that? You know he’ll be in a suit, right?”
I don’t even bother looking down at my worn jeans and plain, black Henley. I don’t need to dress up in a fucking suit in order to look good or impress anyone. Who the fuck wears a suit to an outdoor party at the end of May anyway? Douchebags, that’s who.
I keep walking but yell over my shoulder, “You say that shit like it matters, Jones!” Running a hand through my still-damp hair, I flex for her, causing my shirt to strain against the muscles rippling beneath. “Doesn’t matter what he wears. I’ll still look better.”
She rolls her eyes, shaking her head in exasperation. Laughing, I wink and make my way outside.
Two hours later, the DJ has all of Frankie’s favorites playing. Some of it I love, some I tolerate, and some makes me want to put a bullet in my brain. The Princess has really eclectic taste in music—probably because she’s a dancer. Not a stripper, but an actual trained dancer. She did teach a pole dancing class at the gym for a while though, which I found to be fucking hot as hell. She’s amazing -- she has a studio in the gym our dads own, teaches classes, and even competes, though not as much as she used to.
Looking around at all of the milling guests and the ones still arriving, I still don’t see Frankie. Mav and Sonny are at the bar that’s set up on the patio, talking to Indie and one of her friends that I’ve met but has one of those names that you can never remember. I make my way over to them and ask, “Where’s the Princess?”
“Apparently, Annnddrreewww had something important come up at the office. Some hush hush important client or some shit,” Indie snarls.
Seething in anger, I begin to shake, “Fuck that! Fuck him! It’s her birthday, this is her damn party!”
I grab my phone from my pocket and toss it to Indie. “Call Frankie and tell her I’m on my way!” I turn but before I get very far Indie grabs my arm and holds up her hand to shut me up when I go to speak.
“Slow down, hero.” She places the phone in my hand but doesn’t let go, forcing me to stay put. “I already called and she’s on her way now. That was about five or ten minutes ago, so she should be here any minute.”
Slipping my phone back into my pants, I try to reel in my aggravation. I fucking hate this guy!
“God, he’s such a fucking tool,” Sonny says, before he takes a pull from his beer.
Everyone nods in agreement, but I don’t say anything, just grab my drink from the bartender and break away from the group and head back toward the house. I want to be the one to greet her when she arrives.
The kitchen door opens and I see her. She stands there before me and takes my breath away. Jesus fuck. I stop my advance and take her in. She’s fucking gorgeous. Her long, blonde hair is pulled to the side in some fancy ass braid which falls over her shoulder. Icy eyes done up with dark makeup, making them look smoky, almost as if they’re glowing, blue flames. She has this short, gray dress on that hugs every single one of her curves. And my girl has curves on her tight little dancer’s body. I don’t know what the material is, nor do I give a fuck, but it looks soft and drapes off of her shoulder. The way it hangs leaves the skin there bare, with glimpses of her tattoo playing peekaboo.
Continuing my perusal, I let my gaze linger on the hottest set of legs I’ve ever seen. For someone that’s only five-foot-two, her legs are unreal. On her tiny feet are light pink, fuck-me heels that make my dick instantly hard. I’m so fucked. Bringing my gaze back up, I rest on her face,
“Hey, Princess! I was getting worried about my birthday girl,” I tell her, not acknowledging the prick standing beside her.
“I know. I should’ve called, Deacon, but I didn’t think we would be this late,” she says apologetically.
Not even glancing at him, I gesture with my head.
“Come, give me some love.”
Arms open wide, I smile whe
n she lets go of Andrew’s arm and walks right into mine. Wrapping my body around her tiny frame, I look Drew right in the eyes and smirk. I pull back just far enough to grab her wrist, making sure that he’s watching as I bring it up to my mouth and place a kiss there.
Take that, fucker.
I watch him watching us for a second longer. To say that he is pissed would be putting it mildly. My smirk morphs into a smile as I look down at my girl. “Happy birthday, Frankie,” I say, squeezing her tighter to me.
“Thanks, Deacon. I really am sorry that we’re late,” she says in that throaty, sexy as fuck rasp of hers.
“No worries, babe. It’s your party and doesn’t start ‘til you get here, yeah?”
I loosen my hold on her, allowing her to step back next to Andrew, who immediately pulls her into his side making the muscle in my jaw tick. I still haven’t said shit to him. I guess he’s a bigger man than me though because he’s the one to finally break the silence.
“Yes, I apologize. I had something that couldn’t wait come up at the office and it took longer than I would have liked. I’m in the middle of a very important case.” Glancing distastefully around the room, he continues in that pompous ass voice of his, “Thank you for throwing this party for Francesca. I have been so busy at work lately that there was no way I would have been able to throw something together.” The condescending tone he uses makes me want to break his fucking face.