Thus, the feeling of panic when he saw Miss Bennet down from her room betrayed his true feelings. If she was well enough to leave her room soon, she would be well enough to leave for Longbourn, and then... No. It mattered not.
Elizabeth was at work, and he quelled the urge to watch her nimble fingers, instead applying himself to his book. Miss Bingley selected the second volume of the very book he read and attempted to ask all manner of questions, but he returned to his book after every inquiry. Eventually, thankfully, she tossed her book aside and instead asked Elizabeth to walk about the room with her.
He blinked back his surprise at the request. His eyes refused his commands to ignore her as he studied Elizabeth at Miss Bingley’s side. He had always found Elizabeth pretty and was captivated by her eyes, especially within a few meetings, but this evening she looked truly lovely. He knew she ought to look tired, but he believed their walk this morning did her well. There was something unexpectedly becoming about her gown or hair arrangement. As a man, he paid little attention to such things, but he felt this was not the same lady who cared so little for their good opinion that she arrived with dirty petticoats and unkempt hair.
“Will you not join us, Mr. Darcy?” Miss Bingley asked.
Suddenly aware that he had closed his book and could not use it as an excuse, he blurted out the first thing he could think of: something about them only having two motives for walking about the room in such a way. Truthfully, he barely knew half of what flew out of his mouth when Elizabeth was near, and others were scrutinizing him in the room.
Miss Bingley was insistent on understanding his meaning, and fortunately, he had recovered his wits. Elizabeth accused him of meaning to be severe on them, so naturally he must argue the opposite.
“I have not the smallest objection to explaining them,” he said as soon as she allowed him to speak. “You either choose this method of passing the evening because you are in each other’s confidence and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking; if the first, I would be completely in your way, and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire.”
He tried not to betray his thoughts that he very much wished they would walk by the fire; the light might catch more of the outline of Elizabeth’s superb figure. She blushed at his words, but Miss Bingley clearly believed such a compliment was due the entire time. Would he ever be free of that woman?
Miss Bingley said Darcy deserved punishment, and Elizabeth suggested they all laugh at each other. Did she truly believe him incapable of finding amusement in things? He had smiled and laughed unguardedly with her this morning.
When Miss Bingley declared that Mr Darcy could never be laughed at, Elizabeth demurred, “Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at! That is an uncommon advantage, and uncommon I hope it will continue, for it would be a great loss to me to have many such acquaintances. I dearly love a laugh.”
“Miss Bingley,” said he, “has given me more credit than can be. The wisest and the best of men—nay, the wisest and best of their actions—may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.” This was not what he wanted to say at all! He enjoyed Elizabeth’s laughter. Why must he unconsciously reach for defence in her presence?
“Certainly,” replied Elizabeth, “there are such people, but I hope I am not one of them. I hope I never ridicule what is wise and good. Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies, they do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can. But these, I suppose, are precisely what you are without.”
“Perhaps that is not possible for anyone. But it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses that often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.”
If his eyes would not obey his intentions, then neither would his mouth. He wished he could flirt or converse easily as he had often seen Bingley do. As Bingley did do in the corner with Jane Bennet. Instead, he resigned himself for Elizabeth’s counter to skewer him with her sharp wit. He certainly set himself up for it. What would she find in him to ridicule? And why did he welcome her criticism? Perhaps it was only the excitement of having a pretty and new acquaintance’s attention to himself.
She cocked her head as she thought. “You dislike dancing, I assume, as you did not stand up with anyone outside your party at the assembly last month. Nor did you eagerly attend to the dance floor at Lucas Lodge. Yet when prompted by the correct person, you are amenable to dancing. Indeed, with certain tunes it seems you can even desire a set on your own. I begin to think it is perfectly fitting for dancing to be your moment of folly and whim.”
Was she flirting with him? “Perhaps the inducement is only the correct partner,” he whispered lowly, even to his ears.
Miss Bingley and Elizabeth both gasped quietly. He had been far too direct.
Miss Bingley hastily said, “Speaking of dancing, I should very much like to hear you play something, Miss Elizabeth. I recall your performance at Lucas Lodge; what a lovely piece you played.”
Darcy understood her motivation. The piece would be conducive to dancing, and Miss Bingley sought to trap him with a set.
“Thank you, but I would hate to perform the same piece to the same audience, and you have such a lovely selection. Could you show me some of the Italian ones?”
Miss Bingley coldly agreed and retreated. As Elizabeth walked behind, she cast a look over her shoulder at Darcy.
“Allow me to turn the pages for you,” he heard himself say as he followed her.
“Oh, that is really not necessary. Read your book, and I will turn for Miss Eliza,” Miss Bingley bit out.
Darcy repressed a sigh at the sacrifice to be paid, but it would be worth it. “But if you do, then you will not have time to select your piece. Miss Bennet did not get to hear your superior performance last night.”
Seemingly pleased with the compliments, she agreed and left him and Elizabeth in peace. As Miss Bingley selected her song, her eyes frequently fell upon them. Elizabeth sang sweetly, and as he leaned in with each page, he could not help but to inhale her scent.
He noticed the rosiness of Elizabeth’s smooth cheeks. Wondering if his presence affected her, he allowed himself just barely to brush her side on one occasion. He would have felt like a cad but for the sound of her breath catching.
Alas, much too soon her piece was finished, and he resigned himself to his penance of turning pages for Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst. More than once, however, he was reprimanded for his straying attention. He sought Elizabeth’s eyes across the room. She sat talking to her sister and Bingley; her eyes brightened with amusement.
Upon reaching his room that evening, he realised he would have to make some resolve about Elizabeth. He was paying her too much attention for a mere acquaintance. His mind told him of his danger, but a bigger part of him was too excited to care. It was...thrilling to be in her presence, and he had never felt such a wonderful feeling before.
Chapter Two
During breakfast the following morning came the news that the Bennet sisters were to leave for Longbourn. Bingley had asked them to stay an additional day, and indeed, the request was on the tip of Darcy’s tongue. Miss Bennet was insistent, however, in leaving on the next day. Darcy told himself to be careful; no admiration for Elizabeth would escape him on this day, but when she came upon him alone in the library, his resolve disintegrated.
“Good day,” she said in her sweet voice.
“Good day,” he returned.
She selected a volume to read and sat in a chair near his own.
“I am surprised Mr. Bingley has this edition of Wordsworth.”
He smiled. “He does not. Knowing the state of my friend’s library, I brought several of my own. I hope you enjoy it.” He returned to his book but soon realised he needed to speak with her on the matter of his sister’s letter. “I understand from Miss Bingley that her letter to Georgiana will be completed this afternoon. If you have your letter ready, t
hey could go out together before you leave tomorrow, that is.”
“Certainly. I thought you might wish to read it.”
“No, ladies must have their secret affairs.” He tried to give a flirtatious smile, hoping to remind her of last night.
“Perhaps some do, but I hope you know by now I am not of a devious bent.” She blushed, and he could not keep back a genuine smile.
“You do not find poetry to be the food of love, yet you enjoy it readily enough.” He nodded at the book and then sat back, waiting for her to fascinate him anew.
“I am sure you believed I was jesting, but I suppose I think of love differently than most.”
“And that is?”
“Love is like a flower. There is a seedling: the beginning of the acquaintance. Given the right encouragement, as a seed given any soil and the most basic form of sunlight and water, it will begin to sprout. But some loves are hardy to begin with while some are fragile and need more nurturing. Indeed, some may never reach their full potential. Some may grow tangles and tares to protect themselves from predators. But I do not think love requires food such as an animal or a human does. That requires too many choices in taste, too much potential for indigestion at one meal but not the next. Two people may eat the same foods but grow very differently.”
“You believe falling in love has no personal variance.”
“I am certain it does but not as you imagine. Some may fall in love at first sight. Some may need their acquaintance to grow longer first. Each plant has a different point of full maturity. However, society considers humans reach the point of perceived maturity at a universal age.”
“So you do not believe it is foolish to declare yourself in love too early in an acquaintance?” He held his breath for her answer though he knew not why.
“For some, certainly. But if one is of a steady temperament, then that is vastly different than one who is flighty.”
His heart began to beat ferociously, and she paused.
“You are overlooking the most salient point. Love is like a flower, for it is well worth the toil to cultivate it.” She shrugged. “Love is beautiful.”
“Beautiful,” he echoed but thought only of her.
She blushed and hastily stood. “I should return to Jane.”
She promptly curtsied and left the room. Darcy did not speak with her the remainder of the day. He hardly knew if it was his resolve or the matter of Miss Bingley adhering to his side. He acknowledged to himself that by nightfall Elizabeth looked exceptionally weary.
*****
“Miss Elizabeth, what are you doing?”
The unexpected intrusion of Caroline Bingley into what was, for the next several moments still, Elizabeth’s private room at Netherfield startled her. She jerked her hand and knocked over the inkwell, soiling the lone pair of gloves she had brought. It had been unseasonably warm, and her maid had not sent any mitts in the trunk she packed for her unexpected stay. Now she would have to travel all the way to Longbourn with bare hands. She would rather break propriety for a few miles than suffer to ask to borrow a pair from Mr. Bingley’s sisters. She would much rather see their look of censure—indeed, she was quite familiar with it from everyone but Mr. Bingley—than have them cringe at the idea of allowing her to touch a pair of their gloves. Fortunately, the gloves caught all of the ink, and none of the Bingleys’ rented but fine furniture or carpet was ruined.
Elizabeth suppressed the urge to scream for the twentieth time since the Netherfield party returned from church at yet another interruption. She only desired to finish this note and check the rooms once more before blissfully returning home. It had been an exceptionally long and trying five days, made all the more difficult by her resolve to check her tongue around Mr. Darcy.
They had managed to talk in the library yesterday without argument, but Elizabeth still did not believe he thought well of her opinion. Likely only Mr. Bingley regretted their impending departure. She certainly knew Miss Bingley’s actual statement meant, “The carriage is nearly ready; you must not remain an instant longer!” Elizabeth wondered if Caroline would be surprised to learn the feeling was mutual.
Instead of snapping at Miss Bingley, Elizabeth turned and gave a small smile. “I only wished to write a note of thanks to Mrs. Parker and her staff for taking such good care of Jane while she was ill.”
Caroline sneered. “Of course, she took good care of dear Jane. It is her duty, and I would never employ a servant who could not complete her tasks competently and diligently.”
Elizabeth bristled at Caroline’s attitude. Mrs. Parker had been married to one of the tenant farmers on her father’s estate, and Elizabeth had known the lady her entire life. After Mrs. Parker’s husband had passed and her children were grown, she decided to go back into service. And any good mistress knew the difference between a servant merely completing her duty and one serving with pride and affection. Mrs. Parker was always a very good housekeeper, but she treated Jane with a fondness only Mrs. Bennet and Elizabeth would have been able to rival.
Again, instead of caving in to her impulses, she civilly replied, “Then I must compliment you on hiring such a capable housekeeper. She followed your orders perfectly to soothe Jane during her illness.”
Elizabeth struggled not to roll her eyes at her words when she heard what sounded like a strangled coughing noise. She looked up again to see the outline of Mr. Darcy walk past her open door. The noise drew Caroline’s notice as well, and she nearly ran after the wealthy gentleman.
The entire visit had been perfectly ridiculous. Caroline never missed a way to put down Elizabeth and her connections or abilities. Yet Elizabeth was the one with an ancestry of landed gentry. She was the one who was taught since birth how to be mistress of an estate, which included a good deal more than demanding hot baths. She was the one who knew how to inspire esteem and affection in tenants, to keep them loyal, and treat them with respect. Elizabeth did have to allow that Miss Bingley undoubtedly had the dubious advantage of knowing more about London society, and she found she anticipated—and for more than mere curiosity’s sake—Mr. Bingley’s upcoming ball.
With a sigh, Elizabeth rang the bell for a maid, tossed her ink-sodden gloves into the fire, and dunked her stained hands into the water basin. She was pleased most of the ink came off and had just finished drying them when the maid quietly entered. “Yes, ma’am?”
Elizabeth turned and faced the young lady and gave a little smile. “Please give this note to Mrs. Parker, Susie.”
“Certainly, ma’am.”
Elizabeth cast her eye over the room one more time. She had not found the tatted bookmark she made the other night. It was hardly a loss; she could easily make another. Satisfied, she allowed the maid to call for a footman to bring her trunk down to the carriage before she left to check Jane’s room.
A few minutes later found Elizabeth and Jane outside of Netherfield and about to board Mr. Bingley’s carriage. Their mother had refused to send their own because she desired her daughters to stay longer at Netherfield. Or rather, she desired Jane to stay longer. As the only other bachelor of the house, Mr. Darcy, had pronounced Elizabeth merely tolerable and not tempting enough for a dance, even Mrs. Bennet had no delusions of hope for a match between those two. Elizabeth was grateful only Miss Bingley seemed to know Darcy had come to find Elizabeth pretty. She would die of embarrassment if her mother tried to make the most of the situation.
Elizabeth blushed as the subject of her thoughts drew near the awaiting carriage.
“Good day, Mr. Darcy,” Jane spoke with her usual serenity.
“Miss Bennet.”
Jane then turned her attention to Mr. Bingley, who was looking rather peculiar and seemed unwilling for Jane to leave. He engaged her in conversation while Jane’s cheeks turned slightly pink at the attention. Elizabeth knew her duty. After thanking Caroline, again, for her hospitality, she spoke to Mr. Darcy.
“Good day, Mr. Darcy.”
“Good day, Miss Elizabet
h.” Elizabeth was confused when she discerned the similarities of expression between the two gentlemen. She had convinced herself he felt no real affection for her.
After a few more awkward and disjointed but adorable remarks between Jane and Bingley, he handed her in. Elizabeth stepped forward and was surprised to feel the warmth of a hand take hers. She nearly gasped when she realised the gentleman was not wearing gloves.
Looking down, she saw a bare, strong, masculine hand hold her own ungloved one. The owner’s thumb lightly stroked across the top of her hand and gave a gentle squeeze. She glanced up in bewilderment and saw the very proper Mr. Darcy attached to the hand that still held her own, and his pale blue eyes seemed to pierce her.
He immediately released her hand, quickly turned, and walked away. He did not even glance at the carriage as it drove away. Elizabeth hated to admit how much his gallantry affected her sensibilities. She had never had a suitor, no man to bow over her bare hand in her home before. If not for the ink spilling on her only pair of gloves, her hands would have been covered. What must he think of her for breaking propriety so much? And why was her heart thumping so wildly in her breast? And what was that look Mr. Darcy gave her?
*****
Darcy stood in his bedchamber and heard the tell-tale sounds of Caroline Bingley walking the hallway. Today was to be a trying day. Elizabeth had been at Netherfield for nearly a week and was finally to leave.
When he first met the lady, he scarcely allowed her to be pretty, but before too many subsequent meetings took place, he grew enchanted by her playful manners and teasing wit. Soon he saw the sparkle in her eye, and he undoubtedly noticed her light and pleasing figure. Surprised as he was to admire a lady from Hertfordshire, or at this point any lady, he believed he was master of himself enough to be in no danger of deeper attachment. Surely admiration need not lead to love. At one time, he even admired Miss Bingley’s wit. Now he provoked her comments more to laugh at her than with her.
Sufficient Encouragement: A Pride and Prejudice Variation (When Love Blooms Book 1) Page 2