Lucas deserved better than a complacent wife, a dowdy house-mom. Last night had been his way of telling her. Really, she decided, he could have done much worse or said something out loud. Divorced her for one of the younger, hotter models. Turning her down last night had been kinder. In the long run. She wasn’t about to let him regret his choice in marrying her. Crossing her fingers, she vowed to get in shape or else.
Unwinding the towel from her head and shaking her shoulder-length strands free, she wrapped the plush cotton around her body and stepped from the bathroom. Avoiding Lucas’ eyes, she motioned him to go ahead. Without his presence judging her, she dressed quickly. By the time he emerged, a scant millisecond of time compared to how long she’d hogged the bathroom, she was tucked into her dark red pencil skirt, ivory blouse, and dark red jacket. Gold bands dangled on her wrist. With one hand balanced on the top of the dresser, she attempted to slip her feet into the black heeled pumps.
“You all ready?” Lucas asked.
She looked up and nodded. “Just my make-up and I’m good.”
He smiled at her, and not for the first time she nearly swooned under his utter beauty. Those deep brown eyes, twinkling despite their depths, the strong, square jaw, dimpled cheeks, and dark brown hair which had a penchant for falling across his brow. Good god, she’d married perfection. Her lips lifted in a soft smile. She would lose the weight for him without complaint. It was the least she could do for him.
“I’ll get the coffee. Meet me in the lobby?”
“Sure.”
He left, slipping from the room on buffed-to-a-shine dress shoes, his business suit a dark navy, his tie a deep gold which highlighted the tiny gold diamonds of his blue dress shirt. He looked hip and professional. And he’d managed it in a quarter of the time she had.
She had fifteen minutes to meet him downstairs. There was an amazing coffee place around the corner, so much better than Starbucks, and local. He’d get them coffee and then hail them a cab. They had begun to ride the same cab to work, nursing cups of steaming coffee, after their third date and first night together. It was a tradition now. Even if she had to run an extra mile to burn off the calories from her coffee, she would do it. Some things were worth a little extra effort.
She re-entered the bathroom and, pulling open the drawer with all her make-up organized in little plastic compartments, she quickly painted her face.
Kristin sat on the toilet seat, the cool porcelain a subtle pain on her bare buttocks, staring at the magazine clutched in her hands. She knew better than to read this crap, but once again she’d been drawn into its sick depths by an unhealthy need to torture herself. Beside her, the scale – now dark – still seemed to glow with the proof of her most recent lack of self-control. 150 pounds. How in the hell had she let herself get this way? Five years earlier, she'd been floating around the 135 mark.
She dropped the magazine to the floor. It fell open to the article she had been reading and rereading for the past 30 minutes. “How to keep your husband interested: A woman’s guide to staying fit and attractive after 35.” She groaned and covered her face with her hands, trying to hold back the threatening tears. At two months shy of 40, she knew all too well what the article was saying. Her husband hadn’t made love to her in at least a month.
She was fat. She was unattractive. She was a has-been wife. She was exactly the type of woman a man like her husband – uber-successful, top of his game, world-renowned in his field – would divorce in an instant as soon as a younger, hotter girl showed him the slightest interest. It was only a matter of time.
“Hey, honey?” Jason called to her, tapping lightly on the bathroom door to get her attention. “Is everything okay in there?”
She appreciated his concern, but she wished he’d just leave her alone. She needed to wallow in peace. Placing her hands on the counter, she hauled herself to her feet and glared at her reflection in the mirror. Long, shiny brown hair which many women her age dared cut, worked well on her. The gentle waves framed her upper body. Her skin was flawless, pale and unblemished. Unlike so many of her friends, she had avoided tanning salons and the glaring sun since her youth. Her green eyes, high cheekbones, and upturned nose added to her youthful appearance. Still, something had to be wrong. There was some part of her she was missing, some ugly part. Kristin stepped back and tried to see what Jason obviously saw.
Nothing stood out, so it must be all of her. The tears came stronger as that thought washed over her. How could she fix everything?
“Kristin?” Jason asked again, hearing her quiet sobs.
“I’m fine!” she called. She knew she didn’t sound it.
Grabbing a handful of toilet paper, she dabbed at her eyes and blew her nose. Kristin cleared her throat and walked to the door. She pulled it open and leaned up onto her toes to kiss her husband’s cheek. She still loved him even if he didn’t love her any more.
He wrapped his arms around her naked back, moaning in the back of his throat and pulling her closer. In an instant, hope flared to life within her. He still wanted her! She was still a hot babe! And then that same euphoria crashed and burned as he returned her kiss—to the tip of her nose – and dropped her back to the floor.
“You’ve got ten minutes before you need to leave. Better hurry up.” He smacked her butt playfully and turned away. She stared at his back as he rifled in a drawer for his tie.
At least he was still a handsome man. Tall, lean and muscular in a runner’s way, his suit fit him perfectly, solid black with a white dress shirt, open at the collar. His smile was wide, teeth straight, crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes from smiling so much. A few years her elder, he still evoked the spirit of a much younger man. She studied him. Adored him. Silently begged him to forgive her for her looks, her age, her hormonal crying.
“You look better without the tie,” she whispered as she moved across the room to the walk-in closet. He didn’t hear her, and somewhere deep inside she was glad. The last thing she needed was him going to work looking so good. The secretaries wouldn’t be able to keep their hands to themselves. “Oh, fuck.” She shouldn’t have thought of that – now the idea of her husband and his secretary flashed in her mind and then decided to stay.
He’d hired a new one last month. At about the same time he’d stopped having sex with her. She wasn’t 100% sure the new secretary was a hot, young, supple, modelesque thing, but now that she’d given time to the horrible thought, it all fit. He was having an affair. Since Jason had always had a high sex drive, and he wasn’t indulging with her, it had to be someone else. The realization struck her painfully and she tossed out an arm to steady herself against the wall.
“Oh, fuck,” she repeated.
She would do anything to win him back. Even losing 20 pounds. It would be hard – she did love her dessert – but she had to keep Jason. She had to.
Kristin yanked her suit from the hanger. A combination of anger and pain fueled her brusque movements. It was a simple gray pant suit with wide legs and a tapering jacket that fell at her high waist. She slipped it on, donning a black silk shirt under the jacket. Opening her jewelry box, she pulled out her favorite strand of ivory pearls and clasped it around her neck. Leaving her hair down, she stepped back into the bathroom, ignoring Jason’s whistling the Jeopardy tune from the other room, and swiped a bright red lipstick over her pert lips. A final tug on her heels and she was ready.
“Stop your whistling. I am still three minutes early.”
The words erupted angrier than she had planned, but hey, nothing this morning was going as planned.
Jason grinned. “Well then, off we go.”
He retrieved both their briefcases and took her elbow as he led her from their suite and to the elevators. Even if he didn’t find her as hot as he did at the beginning of their marriage and was screwing his secretary, at least he was still a gentleman. It was almost enough.
Erika stared across the lobby, lost in her thoughts. The steam of her coffee curled in the air-c
onditioning. Her palm, however, sweated as it gripped the cardboard sleeve. Across from her, Lucas was on the phone giving their usual cab company hell. They had a standing pickup time. Only this time, there was no cab waiting.
The ding of the elevator startled her and drew her attention as the doors slid open. Their neighbors, Kristin and Jason, stepped out. Jason was smiling, as usual. His gaze swung through the expansive lobby of their high-rise complex, taking in the few other tenants. Catching sight of Lucas, he nodded and waved. Lucas grimaced back, though Erika saw the friendly spark in his eye. Jason and Lucas were old friends, having both lived here well before they were married. In turn, Kristin looked up, seemingly as dazed as Erika felt, and seeing her, offered a sad smile.
Erika waggled her fingers in return.
There was pain and grief in those eyes. It spoke to the anger and anguish in her own.
“I’m going to speak to Kristin a minute, call if you get a cab.”
Lucas nodded at her as Erika moved away.
Kristin said something to Jason as she approached and then stepped away from her husband as well to meet Erika in the middle of the foyer. Their heels clacked on the tile floor as they embraced one another in a friendly hug.
“What’s wrong?” Erika asked Kristin, whispering low in her ear.
“Nothing.”
They pulled apart, but kept hands clasped, staring at each other.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m –” Kristin ducked her head, looked low, then up under her heavy lids. “It’s nothing. Menopause, maybe?” She tried for a weak laugh, but Erika didn’t buy it.
“Jason?” She flicked her chin in his direction. He was standing next to Lucas, chuckling at the other man’s frustrated shouting match with the cab company.
“No. Yes.” Lifting her head, Kristin looked over Erika’s shoulder at nothing in particular. “I need to lose some weight.”
Hearing Kristin voice the exact same thought Erika had been musing over all morning made her smile. Then frown. Was Kristin and Jason’s marriage falling apart too? It wasn’t a happy realization. They had seemed perfect for one another, truly, deeply, in love. They had married a few years before Erika and Lucas, and Erika had always looked to Kristin’s marriage as her ideal. What she wanted in her marriage with Lucas. To hear they were having the same trouble now made her heart break just a bit more – for them both.
Across the lobby, Lucas clicked his cell phone off and waved toward Erika. He turned to Jason and they laughed, clasping each other’s shoulders and nodding in camaraderie.
Leaning in for another quick hug, passing over as much support as she could, Erika said, “Let’s talk after work, okay? I need to lose some weight, too. Perhaps we can work out together.” Kristin’s sad smile brightened for a split second before she swiveled to look at Jason.
“Yeah.”
Erika patter her friend’s back. “We’ll show them.” And then she joined Lucas as he led her out to the curb. A yellow cab pulled up right as they arrived. A different company, she noticed with a smirk.
Later that evening, Erika and Kristin sat in a bar, tucked into a corner booth, nursing glasses of red wine, as they each put into words that which had only, thus far, been in their heads. Over tears, they shared their innermost thoughts and concerns about their husbands and the sudden – or not so sudden – lack of love. Within an hour, both were quiet, hearts breaking, and drowning their emotions in another glass of the wine.
“I love Jason so much,” Kristin bemoaned, breaking the silence the two of them had been wallowing in.
Erika startled at her words, lost as she was in a memory of Lucas and her on their wedding night. The acrobatics, the fervor, the passion! She had been staring past Kristin and reliving the dark night, her hand twitching as it rested on her upper thigh.
“Me, too.”
Kristin laughed, the bright bubbly noise a shock to them both. “Love Jason?”
“What?” Erika blinked rapidly at her friend, lost.
“You said ‘me, too’ after I announced how much I loved Jason. I was just wondering if you meant that you loved him too?” Kristin was smiling broadly, teasing.
“Oh.” Erika giggled, feeling the wine course in her veins. “Oops.”
“Never mind. I knew what you meant.” Kristin grinned.
They settled into silence again, only Erika now had a new thought running amok in her mind. A thought she’d only tiptoed over this morning when she saw Kristin and Jason in the lobby.
“Do you run?”
This time, it was Kristin’s turn to jump in surprise. “Uh…”
“I mean, would you like to run? We can meet in the mornings before work and go running. Or jogging.”
“Fast walking?”
“Or that?” Erika smiled. Probably definitely fast walking in the beginning. She wasn’t sure she could actually run more than a few steps even if her life depended on it. They would have to work up to that. “You know, jump start the weight loss.”
“Sounds like a better idea than dieting.”
“I hate dieting,” they agreed in unison.
“So, walking.” Kristin nodded as she chewed her bottom lip, obviously mulling over the idea. “I like it.”
“Start tomorrow? Say, meet at half past four and we’ll walk for an hour.”
“Good.” Another pause between them. “Now what are we going to tell the men?”
It was a good question, Erika had to admit. She didn’t want to hear any of Lucas’s platitudes or pity-filled words as he tried to tell her she was perfect as she was and she didn’t need to lose any weight. That he loved her no matter how big or small she was. She had no doubt he would say just those words, too. And the knowing it, never mind the hearing it, was bad enough. She didn’t want his pity at her self-wallowing, she wanted his love. His cock, if she was honest. His body moving atop hers, driving into hers, kissing her, tasting her, coming inside her.
“We tell them we’re…”
“Working early!” Kristin shouted.
“That’s perfect, isn’t it?” Erika said. “Since they claim to be working late, we’ll work out while ‘working early.’”
The next morning, with dawn just beginning to glow in the east, the two women met in the lobby dressed in tattered sweats and old tee shirts. Each clutched a water bottle, rubbing the remains of sleep from their eyes.
“Ready?”
“Absolutely.”
After stepping past the confused doorman – he didn’t recognize either of them at first, so used to seeing them in their skirts and pant suits – and deciding on a direction, they started off. Panting a bit less and sweating a bit more than they had each imagined in their heads, they managed to keep up a brisk pace this first time out. It gave each of them hope. A tiny glimmer of hope in their plan, a glimmer of hope in their future.
Riding the elevator up to their floor, they were breathless, but glowing.
“So, same time tomorrow?”
“You bet.”
The elevator dinged and both stepped off, hurrying to their respective doors. If they were lucky, their husbands would still be sleeping and they could pop into the shower before the men had any idea what was going on.
The thrill of the secret zinged in Erika’s veins. The walk had felt good. The brisk autumn air, the quiet of the city streets, the smell of freshly baking bread from the bakery two blocks over, it all made her happy inside like she hadn’t been in years. Maybe all she’d needed was some time outside in the world, not locked up in either this high-rise or her office building fielding calls and negotiating deals. Perhaps life was just that simple.
She twisted the knob of their bedroom door and felt the latch give under her hand. Opening the door slowly, waiting for the telltale creak, she caught sight of Lucas spread across the sheets. He always slept in the nude, last night just one more night. But after this morning’s exercise she found herself turned on such as she hadn’t been in at least five years. The co
mforter clung to his hip, just hinting at the shadow of cock and balls. Crouching on his side of the bed, she debated taking him into her mouth and waking him up with the best blow job of her life, but she decided against it, wanting to wait until she was back to her college weight before marking Lucas as hers again.
Moving stealthily to the bathroom, she locked the door before stripping and turning on the shower. Steam from the hot water clouded up the mirror quickly, but Erika didn’t notice. She wasn’t looking at herself today. Instead, she rifled through her makeup drawer. She knew she had something a bit more smoky in there somewhere and this morning, she knew she wanted some smoke. This was the beginning of a new day.
The water felt good on her muscles, newly awakened, and she hummed as she slowly soaped her body with the pearlescent vanilla body wash. It was a sin to feel this loose. Starting at her shoulders, she squeezed the sea sponge. The lather caressed her skin as it slid silkily over her back and down across her breast. She moaned. Lifting a hand, she palmed her breast, rubbing in a gentle circle over her flesh. Under her hand, her nipple pebbled, poking against her. Taking the impertinent nipple between her forefinger and thumb, she twisted it, sighing heavily, the pressure in her womb dropping, wetness not from the spray dampening her inner thighs.
“Oh. My. God.”
She dropped the foamy sponge to the bottom of the shower stall. Hands spread wide over her hips, she stroked down across her stomach and between her legs. Lifting one foot to rest on the edge of the tub, she eased a finger back and forth along her slit. Her breath came in gasps. It had been weeks since anyone had touched her there, and at least a year since she’d touched herself there. There were certain benefits to having a husband – not having to get yourself off being one of them.
Her slender finger teased her clit, pressing to the sensitive, nerve-dense bud of flesh, as her others fluttered against her slick folds, tickling her inside and out. She pressed forward, driving two fingers deep inside her. Erika’s knees weakened and her skin flushed, her eyes closing as she continued to pleasure herself.
Our First Time: Anthology of Wife Swapping Page 12