The Other Side of Wonderful

by Caroline Grace-Cassidy

  “I’m sorry if that was rude, Alex, but she is on her own and she is getting older – she likes to get texts – it’s a little novelty for her. I don’t see it as that big a deal.”

  “Another thing, Cara, you really shouldn’t put your phone on the table when we go out to dinner – that’s also horribly bad-mannered.”

  “Well, excuse me if I wasn’t pulled up in Dalkey but I am working class and my manners come from my parents who were good, hardworking, decent, loving people and I am proud to take after them.” She was aghast. He had really insulted her now. She sat back, afraid that he was going to freak at her.

  He was very calm. “You are really taking this all too personally. All I’m trying to say is that it is possible to enjoy the company of your husband-to-be without having to have a phone on every second of the day. Don’t you agree?”

  She ignored him now, feeling weak with the hunger and from taking tablets on an empty stomach, but also feeling an overwhelming relief that she hadn’t put him into a bad mood.

  He put his hand on her leg. “Okay – imagine I did it. Imagine I was always texting under tables while we are supposed to be watching a movie or listening to some perfect music? What does it say to you? It says that I’m bored, doesn’t it?”

  “Okay, point taken,” she admitted.

  “I think we should just not carry mobile phones any more.” He laughed now.

  She really hoped he wasn’t serious.

  She had been so engrossed in the conversation that she hadn’t been paying any attention to where they were going. So when they pulled up at Dublin Airport her mouth fell open.

  “Oh, what? Where are we going? But I’ve no clothes or passport!”

  Alex rolled down the window and collected the ticket for the short-term car park by pressing the small black button. “Don’t worry, I have everything sorted.”

  He parked and then popped the boot and removed two small suitcases.

  “How did you get that?” Cara peered at her much-loved M&S red-and-white plastic-covered suitcase.

  “Esther! My wonderful mother-in-law-to-be!” He slammed the boot, beeped the alarm and picked up the two cases, grinning wildly. “Come on, we’re cutting it fine.”

  He trotted and she followed.

  “But when?” she huffed – she really wasn’t that fit yet.

  “I’ll explain all – just keep up,” he said, beginning to jog.

  As they checked in she noticed all the flights were to the UK so they weren’t going too far.

  There was no time to look in Duty Free – straight onto the flight. As the captain greeted them he told them the flight time to Scotland would be one hour. “Scotland?” She was feeling really tired and sleepy now. They had stayed up until all hours last night. She closed her eyes and fastened her seatbelt. Even the hunger had worn off.

  She must have nodded off before take-off as they were landing as Alex woke her. His porridge and coffee remains were still on his tray. A car waited to collect them and drove for over an hour with Alex snoring away beside her.

  The Scottish scenery was breathtaking, Cara thought, as she watched it fly by.

  “Here ye are!” The wonderful lit of the Scottish accent woke them both. She’d fallen asleep again for the last half hour.

  “Good luck now, Mr Charles, and thanks for the tip.”

  They got out and he dropped the cases before he drove away.

  “How did you pay him and tip him already?” She was puzzled.

  “All done over the internet, my love.”

  They stood in front of a waterfall and a redbrick building. The Mill Forge was written on the building in black slate. It was surrounded by green gardens and beautiful flowers.

  “So here we are!” He did a turn to take it all in. “The beautiful and very famous Mill Forge Hotel!” He took her hands. “And this very evening, Cara Byrne, we will become husband and wife here!”

  She stared at him and he laughed.

  “Welcome to Gretna Green!” He laughed until tears poured down his face. He was sobbing and laughing at the same time. “Come on, darling! The others are inside!”

  She was frozen, dizzy from lack of food and shock, and she could not take any of this in. The others were inside? How had Esther got here? She noticed the old timber roof as Alex almost sprinted ahead and headed straight for the bar. There was noise and cheers and she slowly made her way up the three steps behind him.

  “Cara, this is Fred and this is Pattie, my best friends.” Alex presented them to her.

  “Congratulations!” They looked like twins. Both were dressed the same in black polo necks and black jeans. Both extremely tanned and blonde. American accents seemed to shout at her as she looked around frantically for Esther.

  “Where’s Esther?” she asked and Alex’s face clouded over. He literally went grey. “Who’s Esther?” Pattie asked, drawing the name out as she reached into the silver bucket for the champagne.

  “Are you serious with this ‘where is Esther’ question?” Alex squeezed her hand too tightly.

  “Sorry, Alex, no. I’m just a bit in shock and I haven’t eaten since yesterday, I’m taking all these tablets on an empty stomach. I need to lie down.” Cara thought she might faint.

  “She was attacked recently,” he explained to these strangers.

  “Oh no, you poor dear, how awful!” said Pattie. “Come and sit here beside me and tell me all. Here’s a delicious bar menu. We ate some great hamburgers and some fries. It’s all really good.” She pulled Cara into the seat.

  Alex and Fred hugged like men hug.

  “Are you just like so hyped right now?” Pattie couldn’t stop talking.

  “Yeah, I suppose, but it’s a bit of a shock . . . I . . .” Cara tried to gather her thoughts.

  “I know, right? Alex told us it was a surprise, you lucky rubber ducky! I wish I had been given this!” She popped the cork and poured champagne into the four champagne flutes. “So you were attacked, right? Where? When was this? What happened? I want to know everything? Shoot!”

  She put the glass to her mouth and Cara wanted to ram it down her neck. She knew this wasn’t fair and began reliving the night of the attack as she told the story yet again. She was on autopilot.

  “You okay now?” Alex leaned in. “Put a smile on your face, please,” he whispered and flicked her under her chin as she downed the champagne in one go. “That’s my girl!” He punched the air.

  Cara wanted to throw up.

  “More?” Pattie asked.

  Cara held out her glass to Pattie and she poured.

  “Awful, just awful!” Pattie shook her head as Cara finished the story. “Really awful for you, kiddo!”

  “So how do you all know each other?” Cara said to change the subject.

  “Well, long story. Fred met Alex on a flight-training month in New Mexico. I was going out to see Fred for a week and we all just hit it off so well that Alex ended up coming to stay with us in LA for six months. Well, I’m sure you know all about that!” Pattie slid her black-framed Armani glasses onto her blonde hair, using them as a hair band.

  Cara didn’t know. She never knew Alex had even been to LA, let alone lived there. She flung the champagne down her neck.

  “Hey, easy, Tiger, we gotta go get you a dress, am I right?”

  “A dress?” Cara looked at the woman’s huge voluptuous lips. Were they implants or was she naturally blessed with amazing Angelina Jolie lips?

  “Sure.” Pattie nodded. “I took the liberty of making an appointment at Tartan Spirit down the road as we don’t have much time.” Pattie handed the menu to Cara again “Why don’t you eat and then we can go? I know Alex has said we need to be in the ceremony room by four forty-five so we will have the dinner around seven, I’d imagine? What about your beautiful red Irish hair? Will you have it done? Up or down?”

  “I dunno.” Cara ordered the cheese-and-bacon burger and chips but when it came she couldn’t get a bite down her. She lashed tomato ke
tchup all over the chips but the taste was somehow alien.

  “Come on now, eat up!” Alex tried to feed her chips by his hand.

  She politely laughed. “Alex, could we maybe check into our room so I can freshen up before we go dress-shopping?” She desperately wanted to speak to Esther.

  “Good idea.” He was so happy. Beaming. “We’ll be back down in twenty minutes, guys.”

  “That all it takes you these days, Charlie-man?” Fred gibed and they laughed.

  “Ha, no chance, buddy, I’m still a well-oiled love-machine!”

  They passed reception and Alex collected the key cards.

  As they entered the lift Cara turned to him. “Alex, seriously, I don’t know what to say here – I mean I don’t think I can do this, I can’t just get married like this . . . I . . .”

  He ignored her as the lift doors opened and she trailed off. They found their room. It was really pretty but Cara didn’t notice much as she flopped on the bed. The champagne now giving her a banging headache. There was a phone by the bed and she reached for it.

  “Darling,” he took the phone from her hand and replaced the receiver, “listen to me for two minutes. You are tired, I understand that but I have worked tirelessly on organising this wedding for the last month: birth certs, forms, legal issues, passports, accommodation, restaurant bookings, and it’s been a lot of work. I had you sign what you thought was the lease for Sandymount when in fact it was all these forms.” He opened his case and took out a large yellow folder. He got on his knees in front of her now. “This is meant to be. We didn’t want a big old fuss. Your dad isn’t here so I thought this would be what you wanted – a happy day instead of looking at an empty seat. None of my family would come except my mother and it would have been an all-over disaster. Can you see that, my love?” He pushed a loose strand of red hair from her eyes.

  “But I don’t even know those people and they will be at my wedding! They will be the only guests at my wedding!”

  “We needed witnesses,” he said abruptly now.

  She was terrified to ask the next question but she did, her mouth dry as a bone. “What about Esther? She must have known when you asked her for my birth cert and passport?” She licked her lips.

  “No. I told her they were for the lease and she dug them out the day I dropped her home from the hospital. Those documents really should have been in the purple box file I gave you at the Sandymount place – I told you to put all your important things there. I asked Esther for her patience over the next few days as we would be away. She didn’t seem in the slightest bit interested.” He ran his hands over his stubble.

  “So you didn’t tell her we were getting married?”

  He stared hard and then his eyes closed slightly. “I told no one except our witnesses. Who the fuck did you want to invite? Steve fucking Brady?”

  She was obviously beginning to rile him. “No, of course not, Alex, of course not,” she said.

  “Well, you don’t seem to have any really close female friends that I could have asked, I wasn’t dragging an old lady all the way over here, so here we are. Have I done the wrong thing again as usual?” He got off his knees and flung the yellow folder across the room, pages scattering everywhere.

  “No, of course not, I’m fine, honestly I am – I suppose I’m just in shock – well, I mean I got a major shock.”

  She dropped to her knees and slowly began to gather all the documents. “Here!” She held them up to him and he grabbed them sharply from her hand.

  “Get dressed! We are going back down right now!” he barked.

  Tension hung heavy over the room.

  She opened the suitcase and rummaged through the clothes he had packed. It was very little. Her pants rolled up and four white bras. He had packed two pairs of black trousers and two shirts, one cream and one brown. Old clothes. Clothes she never wore. Nothing sexy or pretty. The shoes were runners and her black work pumps. He hadn’t packed her make-up bag. No toiletries. Not even her toothbrush. She dressed and felt drab and completely outside her own body.

  “You look lovely,” he said and pulled her hair down over her shirt collar. “Now here’s my card – go and buy yourself an elegant wonderful dress. You must be back in Pattie’s room for, say, no later than four o’clock. I will send up champagne and orange juice for you girls as you both get dressed. Then I will see you in the ceremony room at four forty-five, okay? They are very strict on time-keeping. We need to be ready to go on the dot of five.”

  “Okay,” she meekly replied.

  “Cara, are you happy? Are you okay with all this?”

  She couldn’t read his face and she knew there was only one answer. “Yes, Alex, I’m happy.” She smiled as brightly as she could and they left the room.

  ***

  “This is awesome, honey!” Patty shouted as she held up a tartan satin gown.

  Cara shook her head.

  “Not really your thing?” the assistant said. “I’m Elaine Kidd, the dress designer – what are you after?”

  “Oh, something really plain, simple, and I’m going to need shoes. I’m a size five in shoes and I guess a ten to twelve in the dress.” Cara walked along the line of dresses and picked some off the hangers and quickly replaced them. This was never how she had envisioned shopping for her wedding dress.

  No Esther. She really couldn’t get her head around it. She was marrying Alex today . . . she wanted to marry him, didn’t she? Well, yes, but not like this. But what could she do now? She was in too deep and couldn’t back out now. What would Esther say? ‘Run a mile, love!’ she guessed. ‘What’s the rush?’ She agreed with her mother’s imaginary words. Too late. She was going to do it.

  “How about this?” Elaine held up a knee-length off-white silk dress. It had capped sleeves and a high round neck and was totally plain.

  “Yes, I like that. Can I try it on?”

  “Well, now, that’s just dainty!” Pattie drawled.

  Cara pulled the heavy purple velvet drape across and stripped down. She pulled the dress over her head and slipped her feet into the shoes Elaine had pushed under the drape for her. She looked up. She stared long and hard. She no more looked like a bride than the man in the moon.

  “It’s perfect. I love it!” she called out to the two waiting women in a voice she hardy recognised as her own.

  “Well, come on out and let us have a gawp then!” Pattie shouted.

  Cara had no intention of coming out. “No, actually, Pattie, I’d like to keep it as a surprise if you don’t mind? Until I put it on in the room . . . later . . .” she trailed off.

  “Shall I just take a quick look at the fit on you, lovey?” Elaine asked.

  “Okay.” Cara opened the curtain a tiny bit and Elaine stepped in.

  “Are you okay, lovey?” she whispered into Cara’s ear, her scent sweet and her breath warm.

  “Yes thanks, Elaine.” Cara swallowed hard and smiled at her.

  “Okay then,” she whispered back.

  Elaine never even looked at the dress.

  ***

  Back in the hotel room Pattie fussed over Cara. She was in her bridal dress and shoes and Pattie was clipping some wild daisies into her hair.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t want a pro hairdresser! You just need that little something extra and I think these will do it!” Pattie said as she clipped in the dozen long-stemmed daisies she had handpicked on the way back to the hotel.

  Cara had borrowed Pattie’s make-up bag but the colours were all far too dark for her pale skin. She had washed her hair and let it dry naturally. She had no jewellery apart from her huge glistening engagement ring.

  Cara then asked Pattie if she wouldn’t mind lending her phone to her?

  “I’m afraid I don’t carry a cell. I don’t agree with ’em. All that radiation going into your brain,” Pattie replied, turning Cara’s head back towards the mirror.

  Cara had seen a phone box across the road but as she had no English money she had
no change to use it.

  “I can ask Fred for his?” Pattie offered.

  Fred was with Alex.

  “No! Please! It’s fine, really it doesn’t matter.” She drank more champagne and made small talk with Pattie, her head beginning to pound again.

  “Honey, don’t you think you should have shaved your legs?” Pattie looked down at Cara’s growing stubble.

  “No, it’s fine,” Cara replied and, standing up now, pulled the dress down over her legs.

  “Well, then, we are ready I think, and don’t you look so pretty! Are you just wildly in love? Is it just all too much right now? Are you just like woowwwwww?”

  Cara tried to move away. Pattie was nice enough, she supposed, but she was just all too much for Cara right now. She was emotionless.

  They made their way down the stairs, with other guests oohing and ahhing at them, and straight into the ceremony room.

  The female celebrant stood at the top of the room dressed in a cerise-pink trouser suit. Alex and Fred looked great in their tartan suits and before she knew it Cara was saying her vows. It lasted all of fifteen minutes including the signing of papers before Alex picked her up and twirled her around.

  “Hello, Cara Charles!” He kissed her hard as Fred and Pattie threw multi-coloured confetti over them. “Let’s celebrate!”

  The four of them linked arms and Cara was half dragged to the restaurant.

  ***

  “Isn’t it such fun!” Pattie clinked her glass against Cara’s in Blacksmith’s restaurant, overlooking a green wet landscape. The rain had started to fall heavily. “You are a lucky woman, Cara Charles! Alex is besotted with you!”

  “I know.” Cara had had a smile plastered on her face for the last two hours. While she was drinking just as much as the other three she just wasn’t getting as drunk as them. She begged for drunkenness to take over her mind.

  Alex and Fred were singing some song by Aerosmith and Pattie was constantly doing her lipstick by holding up the candle holder to see her reflection.

  The meal had been tasteless to Cara – she picked at as much as she could. Alex had ordered for each of them. It was mainly fish and, although she liked a fresh cod from the chipper now and then, she really didn’t care for fish. “I’m just too excited,” she explained, her full plates going back each time the waiter cleared.