Zane waits until I’m ready to continue, knowing that this is something he can’t push me on. “When he was done and I curled up into a ball crying, he stood over me and told me that I wanted it, that I had asked for it.” Zane growls, but I don’t stop there. “I knew he was wrong and that what happened was something that he did to me, not that I was ‘asking’ for it. But after I got your message, I was hurt and all alone, and before I knew it, I was back at my grandmother’s house. When I got there, I went right to her room and laid on her bed with her picture. I think I just wanted to be close to someone who would understand. But I got no answers, just pain. I don’t know what I thought I would get, I mean I knew she was gone, but I don’t know – I just had to be there I guess.”
I roll over onto my back, needing just a little distance before I can continue.
“After laying there for a couple of hours, I knew I couldn’t stay there. The only way for me to get past everything was to leave. I had no one, but I was angry, and determined that I would make it without anyone, especially you. But the most important thing of all – I wasn’t going to let what happened to dictate how I lived. So I packed up what little I couldn’t leave behind and I just drove.” I take a deep breath before continuing. The hard part was pretty much over now, just had to tell him the rest.
“I didn’t even know where I was going, I just kept driving until I couldn’t drive anymore. I wound up here and figured this was a good as spot as any to start my life over. I found Sinners Ink and met Mack and Louie, rented the apartment and started working for them. I stopped using the name Danielle and only answered to Dani because I didn’t want anything to do with that weak girl who lost everything and everyone that ever mattered to her.” Zane tries to say something, but I know what he is going to say, so I stop him. “I know that I didn’t have anything to do with most of the people leaving me and what happened to me that night, but that’s how I felt. My mother died, my father left me because he didn’t want me. Zeke died, then Gram, and then I felt like I was a burden to you too, and that’s why you said what you did that night and ultimately, I lost you. So yeah, I didn’t want to be weak…I couldn’t.”
Turning back over so I could look at him again, I went on. “That’s how I got on with my life – I built walls. I made myself into a person who did everything herself and only depended on certain people, and even then, not to a point where I wouldn’t be able to go on if they left me too – because I thought eventually they would; everyone else had.
I started training with Toby, thinking that if I was stronger, I would be able to protect myself from bad things happening. I worked hard and lived my life the way I wanted. Everything I have today isn’t because of luck or something that “destiny” threw my way. I worked hard for what I have – through blood, sweat, tears and changing myself. I have what I have because of what I did back then, and what I continue to do now.
It’s who I am Zane. It may not have been the right thing, but it’s what I had to do at that time to get past what happened. I just hope that you can still love me for who I am now and not who I was, because she’s gone and I don’t think I can, or even want to get her back.”
I close my eyes, letting him digest everything I’ve said. I know I need to tell him how I feel about him, but I’m too vulnerable right now. I will tell him, but I need to get back to my center first. Everything is still too raw.
After what feels like hours he takes me in his arms, waiting until I open my eyes and look at him. “Baby girl, I love you for who you were when we were growing up, how you overcame the trials life put in your way, and who you are today. There is nothing that you could have done or could do now that will every change the way I feel for you. You are it for me - my baby girl. You’re mine and always will be.” Without letting me say anything, he presses his lips to mine in a hard, passionate kiss. It’s exactly what I needed in this moment.
Feeling like I need to get a little control back, I take the kiss to the next level. I push against his shoulders to make him lie back on the bed so I can straddle him. I want to show him how I feel and how much I love that he loves me and takes me for who I am.
I don’t give him any time to think before I’m sinking down onto his hard cock. Fuck, I love the way he feels inside me. “Oh fuck baby girl. So fucking tight and wet for me.” He groans as he grabs my hips to take control, but I don’t let him. Grabbing his hands, I pull them over his head and hold them there. Of course I know that if he didn’t really want me to, I wouldn’t be able to, but it makes me feel strong to feel I have the upper hand.
“Do you like that Zane?” I ask, swiveling my hips around his cock. He closes his eyes and growls, which has me laughing quietly for torturing him. But it’s such sweet torture, and if his moans and groans are anything to go by, he is loving every second of it.
When he opens his eyes, I can see that he is close to losing it, so I don’t have long having him like this. Lifting myself up so just the tip of his cock is inside me, I stop and look down at him. I hold his gaze and then slam myself down on him as hard as I can. The power behind it and the pleasure it brings has us both gasping through a moan.
Without giving him time to recover, I lift up again and hold once more. When his eyes lock with mine, I slam down again. The grip I have on his hands is getting harder to hold since he is starting to fight me, but I slide back up one more time and thrust myself onto his cock.
He rips his hands away and places them on my hips. He doesn’t make a move to control my movements, but lets me know that he is done with the teasing. But I’m not. Not quite yet. There is one more thing I want to do before I give complete control over to him.
Rising up one more time, instead of impaling myself on his cock, I slowly slide down until he is completely buried inside me. I swivel my hips once before pushing myself up one more time. I wait until he is looking at me and finally I say, “I love you Zane.” Hearing me finally say I love him must have taken the last thread of self-control he had because he grabs my hips and flips me over so I’m on my back looking up at him.
He pounds into me relentlessly and I feel my orgasm rise. “I. Fucking. Love. You. Baby. Girl,” he all but growls out with each thrust, and I can’t take it anymore. “Come with me, now!” he shouts just as I release, coming all over his cock. My orgasm sets him off and I can feel him come inside me.
Thrusting once more before holding himself still, he looks down at me and kisses my lips tenderly. “I love you,” he whispers again.
Rolling us over so he’s still inside me, but so I’m lying on his chest, he strokes my back while we catch our breath. Before I fall asleep, I hear him say, “You’re mine baby girl. Forever.”
***
The next morning, Zane and I take a shower and head to the clubhouse. I know Mack will be worried about what happened yesterday so I want to show him I’m ok. That man has really become a father to me. He is always looking out for me, protecting me, helping me stand on my own two feet, but will also carry me if I admit I can’t do it alone. I really do love him and no matter what our blood says, he will always be my dad.
Before I’ve even take two steps through the door, I have brothers coming up to ask me what happened. “Dani, you ok girl?” “Princess, you scared us!” Everyone is speaking at once, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I smile at them all and hold up my hands to quiet them down. “I’m good guys, I’m good.” I look up to see Zane watching me. I give him a big smile and turn to look at the brothers once more. “The sick fuck won’t be bothering me or anyone else ever again.” I catch Toby’s eye, and he gives me a look of pride. Damn right that fucker should be proud; he taught me everything I know.
With that, everyone cheers and they usher me to the bar. Prospect Tyler, I think his name is, walks over to us with a bottle of Jack and starts lining up shot glasses. Fuck, it’s like ten in the morning! But we are at a motorcycle clubhouse. I guess if they are awake, they are drinking.
Once all the shot glasses are f
illed and everyone has theirs, they raise them high in the air. “To Dani – Princess Sinner!” Tom Tom yells. After downing the shots, most of the brother’s head back to where they were when we arrived. Only a few stay with us.
“You sure you’re ok princess?” Tom Tom asks, concern in his voice. I just give him a smile and look over at Zane. “Yeah, I’m going to be just fine.” Tom Tom looks between Zane and me with a look first of confusion then concern. Zane notices the change and addresses Tom Tom. “You good brother?” he asks. Tom Tom stares him down for a couple of seconds before walking up to him and clasping him on the back. “Yeah, I’m good brother. Just don’t fucking hurt our princess here or I’ll bury you alive.” With those parting words, he walks off and leaves me looking after him.
Zane just laughs his words off and takes me by the hand, pulling me off my stool. “Come on baby girl, let’s go find Mack.”
I follow him into the hallway and then stop outside Mack’s office door. I’m suddenly nervous, feeling like I’m bringing a boy over to meet my dad for the first time. I guess in a way, I am. Even though Mack already knows who Zane is, and I’m no little girl anymore, I still want his approval and for the two of them to get along after he learns we are together.
I look up at Zane one last time before opening the door. I can see Mack sitting behind his desk with his head in his hands, bent over like he is exhausted. When Zane closes the door behind us, Mack notices us and lifts his head. When he sees me, he is instantly out of his chair and storming towards me. Before I can even guess what he is doing, I’m picked up off my feet, surrounded in his arms. I laugh and just let him have this. I can’t even imagine what he must have felt knowing that I was missing last night.
What feels like hours later, he finally puts me down but doesn’t let me go. “You had me worried darlin’.” If I didn’t know better, I would say that those were tears in his eyes. I step into him and give him another hug. “I’m sorry, but I’m fine. Zane found me before anything could happen.” When I release him, he puts his arm around my shoulders and faces Zane. “Thank you for finding my girl Blaze. I don’t know what I would have done if something would have happened to her.” Looking down at me for a brief moment, he then turns to Zane and reaches out his hand.
Without hesitation, Zane shakes his hand. “I would walk through hell for Dani. I love her Prez, and I plan on spending the rest of my life making sure no harm ever comes her way again.” Oh shit, way to just throw it out there! Fuck, I wanted to sit down with Mack and tell him myself.
Before I can worry too much though, Mack lets me go and pulls Zane in for a hug. “It’s ‘bout fucking time you kids took your head outta your ass.” Turning to me, he lifts me up and whispers in my ear. “He’s a good man darlin’, and I’m happy for you.” I can feel tears filling my eyes, but for once, I don’t do anything to hold them in. I’m so happy that everything I’ve ever wanted has finally come true. I have a family, my best friend and the man I love back, and a job I love. Life is good.
3 Months Later
Waking up before my alarm goes off, I make my way into the bathroom. Zane had some club business to attend to for the past two days, which means I’ve had sleepless nights worrying about him and missing him lying next to me.
I look in the mirror and notice that my face is a little on the pale side and I have dark circles under my eyes. On top of not sleeping, I haven’t been feeling well either. But when you own your own business, you don’t really have the luxury of calling in sick, though I doubt Louie would mind. He’d be ok with anything if it meant he didn’t have to be in the same building with me.
Things between us have been tense on the best of days and really awkward on the worst. I wish we could go back to the way we were even a couple of months ago, but I know that can’t happen. Sleeping with him was probably not the best thing to do, but I hope he knows what he did for me back then. He helped me move on and for that, I will always be grateful. I just wish it didn’t come at a cost.
After a quick shower, I dress in my favorite sweats and off the shoulder t-shirt. I don’t bother putting makeup on because I’m sure I will either be sweating this flu away or getting sick in the employee bathroom at some point today. Oh the joys of being sick.
Twenty minutes later I walk into the shop and notice that Louie isn’t in yet. We hired a girl named Harlow a couple of weeks ago to work the reception desk and she has been amazing to have. She’s a little spitfire. I love it. I especially love it when she gives as good as she gets when the brothers are around. You have to be when you are around those guys. But what I think is really funny is the way she is with Louie. She doesn’t take any of his shit and is always hard on him. I think we are going to be really good friends.
“Hey Low, what we got today?” I ask as I stash my purse under the desk. She gives me a smile and flips through our appointment book – yes we still do it old school. “You only have two today. One in about an hour, and the last one not until six tonight.” I nod and head over to my station. “You heard anything from Louie?” Usually he is here by now.
Harlow scoffs at my question and whispers, “Asshole” under her breath. I laugh. “He called and said he was going to be late,” is all she says. Ok then, guess I’ll just leave that one alone for right now, but I think Louie and I need to sit down and have a talk. Not just about us, but about punctuality is seems. “Alright. Do we know what my first appointment wants? I’d like to get it drawn out before they get here.” I want to get this day over as soon as possible. I just want to curl up in my bed and sleep until this cold goes away. Or at least until tomorrow afternoon when Zane will be back.
“Yeah, he said he wants a tribal cross on his shoulder. Not sure if he wants anything particular though.” Well, I can at least get started on it to give him an idea, and if he wants to change it, we can go from there. “Alright, thanks Low.” I sit down on my stool and start to sketch.
***
By nine o’clock, I’m completely drained. I finished my two appointments, along with three other walk-ins.
Louie showed up two hours after I walked in and he smelled like a whore house. I know better than to say anything to him when he’s like that – it makes him feel backed into a corner, but I did tell him we needed to talk. He gave me a slight nod to at least let me know he heard me, but then went to his station and I didn’t hear or see him the rest of the day. Until now that is.
“I’m headin’ out,” he says as he walks past my station. Even though I feel like shit and just want to pass out, we need to talk this shit out now. “Louie, could you come over to the house for a bit? I need your help with something.” I don’t need any help, but I figure it’s the only way that he’ll come over.
He hesitates at the front desk but turns around after a couple of seconds. “Uh, yeah. Give me thirty minutes?” I nod my head and watch him walk out. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, but I hope we come out the other side with our friendship intact.
I’m sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee when he knocks. I open the door and walk back to the table, knowing he’ll follow. “So what do ya need Dani?” He doesn’t sit, instead leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed. I look up and give him my best “take no prisoners” stare. When he sees it, his arms fall with a heavy sigh. “I guess I’m here for a talk then, huh?” he says, as he walks over to the coffee pot to pour himself a cup, then takes a seat across from me.
“Look Louie, I know things have been different for us these last couple of months but I want my best friend back.” I leave it at that and wait for him to speak. I know he’s choosing his words carefully from the look on his face. He always was careful with his words when he needed to be. It’s one of the things I love about him – he doesn’t speak out of anger and only says what he means. You always know that he will say what’s on his mind, and he doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He just makes sure he knows what he wants to say before it comes out.
“I miss you Louie,” I whis
per, trying to get him to understand how much I need him back in my life, the way it used to be.
Finally he looks up at me and with a slight smile. “Listen, I know I haven’t been there for you and I’ve been a dick, but I just needed to get my head around you and Zane. I’ve had you and me in my head for so long that it’s taken me a long time to see that you and he are made for each other. I’m sorry I’ve let you down Dani, I really am. I wasn’t there for you to lean on when you needed a shoulder and I wasn’t there when that piece of shit took you. Can you ever forgive me?” I don’t say anything, I just get up and walk over to him and wrap my arms around him. “I love you Louie, you know that right? Just not the way you want and I’m sorry. But you deserve someone better than me – someone who will love you like you deserved to be loved.” I kiss his cheek and hug him tight against me.
“Yeah, well, we’ll see about that I guess.” I know someone will come along and be worthy of his love. She will be amazing, loving, and have enough wit and sass to keep up with him. Though she is going to have to prove herself before I give my approval, and if she ever hurts him, I will hunt her down and make her wish she was never born.
***
Zane called and said that he was going to be another day, so since I’m feeling better this morning and don’t have to work today, I decide to go down to the gym and work out with Toby. I haven’t seen much of him lately because he has a fight coming up in a couple of months.
As I walk into the gym, I see him in the ring sparring with Dean. He looks up when he hears me enter, then goes back to sparring. “Yo Toby! You in the mood to get your ass kicked today?” I yell up at him, knowing it will earn me a rare smile. Toby is a unique soul. He is very quiet and is always watching. I bet he knows everything that goes on around him without even trying or talking to anyone, that’s how perceptive he is. But you can bet that when he needs to be heard, he is the only one you will hear. He has a voice of authority and you can’t help but listen to him and do as he says. He is also very intimidating without even trying. It’s a combination of his stance, his deep blue eyes that seem like they can look right into your soul and all his muscles and tattoos. And now that he shaved his head, he’s even scarier looking. You don’t want to fuck with him, that’s for sure.
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