by Nancy Bush
A crashing wave of weakness rolled over her as she recalled the way Tremaine had cried out his pleasure.
Oh, Lexie, Lexie. I want you…
Her heart lurched painfully. The sound on the stairway brought her back to the present. Her parents were home. Someone was up.
“Lexie?” It was Samuel’s voice, bleary with sleep.
“Go back up to bed,” she said briskly, appearing in the archway that led from the kitchen to the main hall. Samuel was standing on the stairs, looking younger than his fourteen years. “Nobody’s awake yet. We won’t celebrate Christmas until this evening.”
“Pa’s up. He never went to bed. He went to the stables to check on Sugartail.”
“You sure he didn’t come in? You might not have heard him.”
Samuel ran a hand across his eyes and yawned. “Nah, he’s still out there. I’m getting dressed and going to join him.” He clomped back up the stairs and left Lexie standing in the kitchen archway.
Lexie hurried after him to the sanctuary of her bedroom. She sat on the coverlet, twisting her hands in her lap. Be calm, she told herself. Think. It’s not the end of the world.
She braided her hair for something to do, pinning it at the back of her head. Every time she thought about Tremaine’s lovemaking, her stomach flipped over and her heart ached with desire and dread. Every time she moved, she felt the remnants of his stormy passion.
She clutched the bed post and half laughed in disbelief. She loved him. She’d realized that sometime last night. She never, ever wanted anyone else to make such lush, wonderful, poignant love to her. She wanted Tremaine. Only Tremaine.
Unable to stand her own company, Lexie ran downstairs in time to see Samuel racing toward the stables. Her heart pounded. Where was Tremaine? What would he say to her when he saw her? How would he react?
She had determined to go in search of him when Pa and Samuel came walking toward the house. Jesse was with them, too, and it was clear he was in disfavor. Pa was bellowing at him.
“…too damn young to be tom-catting around. Next time you spend the night out, don’t bother coming home at all.”
Jesse’s face was coolly mutinous. “Does that apply to Tremaine, too? Or only to me? I notice he’s not around.”
Lexie’s heart nearly stopped. Seeing her at the door, Pa set his jaw and didn’t answer. “Where’s Tremaine?” Lexie asked, unable to help herself.
“Rock Springs,” answered Jesse as he strode past her. “Apparently Jenny McBride came to the house last night and got him. He left Pa a note.”
Jesse and Samuel headed toward the kitchen. Lexie stood frozen. Jenny McBride? Jenny McBride! She looked at Pa, who was removing his boots with the bootjack.
“Are you all right?” Pa asked, examining her colorless face with concern.
Lexie managed to nod. “What did — Mrs. McBride want?”
“I don’t know,” he answered tersely.
But Lexie understood. Choking on her humiliation, she ran upstairs. Tremaine had lied to her! He’d teased and cajoled and made her believe he cared about her, then he’d gone straight back to Jenny.
She pressed her hands to her cheeks, fighting down a wave of nausea. She closed her eyes and cried inside. How could she have thrown everything she valued away on the hope that Tremaine would come to love her? His actions today showed her the real truth of the situation. She was simply another woman to him.
¤ ¤ ¤
Tremaine slid off Fortune’s back and wearily walked the stallion inside the stables. He tried to shake off his lingering depression, but the Harthorn child’s death haunted him. There’d been precious little he could do, yet the boy’s small body lying still and cold on the bed was a memory he would rather forget.
Jenny had been with him. She’d coaxed him into going back to her place, but Tremaine had stood silent and unresponsive in the middle of the kitchen. Even when she wrapped her arms around him, he hadn’t moved.
“Why don’t you stay?” she’d invited.
He’d shaken his head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Tremaine had thought of Lexie. All he wanted was to lose himself in her. “Because there’s someone else in my life,” he’d told Jenny as gently as he could.
Now he just wanted to be with Lexie again. He hurried to get Fortune in his stall and stiffened when he sensed someone else in the barn. His father was leaning over the rails to Sugartail’s stall, smiling.
“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Joseph said.
Tremaine nodded. How would he feel when he learned about him and Lexie? Tremaine sensed it was not going to be well-received.
“Cullen said you’ve been working in Rock Springs. Some families were sick with influenza.” He cleared his throat. “Was that why Jenny McBride stopped by today?”
Tremaine suddenly realized what his father was getting at. “I didn’t spend Christmas with Jenny, if that’s what you’re asking. The youngest Harthorn boy died today.”
“I’m sorry, Tremaine.” Pa was shaken.
“There was nothing anyone could do.”
Joseph dropped a hand on Tremaine’s tense shoulders. “It’s not easy being a doctor sometimes. You look done in, son. Maybe you ought to catch some sleep before Christmas supper.”
“Christmas supper.” He thought of seeing Lexie, sitting at the table, and knew he couldn’t hide his feelings from Pa any longer. “There’s a girl I’m interested in,” he said at length, feeling his way.
“Seriously interested in?”
He nodded.
Joseph’s face slowly broke into a grin. “Well, good. Now Jesse can’t throw your dubious assignations in my face. You planning to marry this girl?”
“Pa, it’s Lexie.”
He stared in disbelief. “Lexie? Our Lexie?” Seeing his son’s implacable face, he panicked. “You can’t marry Lexie. Everyone thinks she’s your half-sister!”
“But she’s not, is she? We’ll just have to let the world know the truth.”
Joseph was stunned. Tremaine, hoping the discussion was more or less closed, picked up a currycomb, and began tending to Fortune. The sooner he could be with Lexie, the better.
“We can’t let the world know the truth, Tremaine!”
“Why not?” Tremaine brushed Fortune’s coat with smooth, hard strokes. He wasn’t going to let his father’s opposition stand in his way.
Joseph reached over and grabbed his arm, his fingers digging into his flesh. Surprised, Tremaine stared at him. His father’s face was deathly pale.
“Pa?”
“You don’t understand. People will start asking questions. The truth will come out.” His words tumbled over one another, faster and faster. “Everyone will ask questions.”
Tremaine’s brows drew together in angry puzzlement. “Since when do you care what people think?”
“Since when it involves Eliza!” Joseph bellowed. “If Eliza’s past comes out, she could go to prison!”
“What?”
“Eliza killed her first husband,” he choked out, clutching Tremaine as if his own life depended on it. “And if certain people learn the truth, she could be prosecuted for murder!”
¤ ¤ ¤
Lexie paced the confines of the parlor. She’d stopped flaying herself over her own naïveté and was now trying to determine what to do. She would confront Tremaine. She deserved some kind of explanation. There had to be an explanation.
Jesse, dressed in a dark suit that made him look older and forbidding — an awful lot like Tremaine — came into the room. He glanced at the Christmas tree, then his gaze fell on Lexie.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!”
“You’ve been nervous as a cat all day.”
“I’ve got something on my mind.” She swept past him to the windows, staring out at the deepening twilight.
“Tremaine’s at the stables with Pa. He came about half an hour ago.”
Lexie’s heart leapt to her throat, n
early suffocating her. She swallowed, threw Jesse a measuring look, then decided she didn’t care what he thought. Gathering the rustling skirts and petticoats of her gown, she ran out the front door.
¤ ¤ ¤
Tremaine searched his father’s eyes for some sign that he was joking. Fortune’s warm breath steamed gently in the cool December air. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked softly.
Joseph sighed and ran a hand through his silvery hair. “Eliza hit Ramsey Gainsborough, her first husband, over the head with a poker. She killed him straight out.”
Tremaine stared in amazement. “My God, you’re serious.”
“She killed him,” he repeated dully, nodding, as if to convince himself as well.
“Why?”
Joseph’s face tightened. “Because he was forcing her into bed with him — like he did every night. It was self-defense.”
The color drained from Tremaine face. Images of how he’d spent the night with Lexie paraded across his mind. He could scarcely keep his mind on what Pa was saying. Dazedly, he muttered, “If it was in self-defense, she’s innocent.”
“Gainsborough’s friends will never believe it was an accident. That’s why Eliza ran away.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“Eliza and I felt there was no need.”
“You mean Eliza didn’t want it known! My God!” He threw down the currycomb with such force that Fortune jumped, startled. “She killed her husband.”
“And he deserved it,” Joseph insisted. “Lexie’s father was a powerful, sadistic rapist. He married Eliza for her family name, and he used and abused her, treating her no better than an animal.”
Tremaine said nothing. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing! Nor could he see that it had any connection to his wanting Lexie.
“She told me the whole story years after we were married. She couldn’t even speak of it at first. Gainsborough dragged her upstairs and threw her on the bed. She crawled to the floor. She was by the hearth. She grabbed the poker and when he came for her, she hit him over the head.”
Tremaine swore, softly, in disbelief.
“Even though Gainsborough’s dead, she still hates him with all her heart,” Joseph finished.
Tremaine let himself out of Fortune’s stall. “So what has this got to do with me and Lexie?” He strode toward the back of the stables, near the tack room, and stared blankly through the square glassless window to the open fields beyond.
“I don’t want Lexie to know what a cruel man her father was,” Joseph went on. “I don’t even want her to know his name. It’s as much for Lexie’s protection as Eliza’s. Gainsborough was very powerful. Too powerful. He had friends on both sides of the law.”
“That’s no reason to keep the truth from her! Besides, it’s been years.”
“Gainsborough’s friends aren’t the type that forget. If they could locate Eliza, they would find a way to send her to prison.”
In one of those blinding moments of perfect clarity, Tremaine suddenly understood why his father had given up his practice to live in obscurity in Rock Springs. It was for Eliza. It had all been for Eliza. Eliza, who was southern born, possessed of a hundred useless feminine skills and pursuits, unable to fit into a small Oregon town of pioneers. Now he knew why he’d never felt comfortable around her, why he’d never been able to let her fully step into the role of motherhood even though he’d wanted her to! She was a fugitive, and she’d turn his father into a fugitive too.
“No one must know Lexie is Gainsborough’s daughter.” Joseph tone was stern. “No one. Everyone must think she’s mine.”
“The family already knows differently,” Tremaine argued forcefully. He hadn’t really thought in terms of marriage but he suddenly knew Lexie was a woman he wanted to share his life with. It was impossible that Eliza’s secret could stop him. He wouldn’t let it!
Joseph drew a deep breath. “I wasn’t worried last summer. It had been so long. But then I got a letter.”
Tremaine stared at him, hollow inside. “What letter?”
“It arrived a few days ago. Someone claiming to be a relative wants to know if I’m the Joseph Danner who came around the horn on the Bonnie Lynne in ‘64.”
Icy dread settled around Tremaine’s heart. He felt a stab of primal fear. “Someone wants to find you — or Eliza.”
Joseph nodded. “Eliza killed a powerful man. Gainsborough’s friends want vengeance against her. What better way to hurt her and use her daughter — Gainsborough’s daughter — against her?”
“You’re sure the letter isn’t from a relative?”
“Reasonably sure. It’s — ah — not the first one I received. But the other one was a long time ago.”
A misty memory of the day he’d overheard Joseph and Eliza discussing Lexie’s true parentage floated across his mind. There had been a letter in Pa’s jacket pocket.
“You’ve got to tell Lexie,” Tremaine said suddenly. “You’ve got to warn her.”
“Eliza would never stand for it.”
“Hang Eliza,” Tremaine snarled. “If Gainsborough’s men are still searching for her, they’ll eventually find her.”
“Not if we keep the secret within our family. No one else knows about Eliza’s past. Everyone thinks Lexie’s my daughter. We’re safe as long as we don’t tell anyone.”
Tremaine shook his head. “It’s too late. Lexie knows the truth. She sees no reason to keep it a secret. She’s told people.”
“Well, she’ll keep it a secret from now on,” Joseph declared, worry turning his voice to anger. “But you can’t marry her. Ever. Jace Garrett’s not my first choice for a husband for Lexie, by any means, but he’s safer than you are.”
Tremaine’s head snapped up. “Jace Garrett’s a conniving snake! Besides, Lexie’s already turned him down.”
“Well, be that as it may, you’ll not marry her, Tremaine. You can’t. You’ll put Eliza and Lexie in jeopardy if you do.”
Tremaine stood with his back to his father, his hand clenching and unclenching. His mind was spinning in terrible, frozen circles. “You can’t hide this!”
“I must,” he said on a weary sigh. Clouds gathered in his eyes. “I know your feelings for Lexie run deep. I’ve seen the way you look at her when you think no one’s watching. You’ve got to forget her. Let her marry Jace and have a trouble-free life. It’s what’s best for her.”
“You don’t understand,” he choked out, vivid images of Lexie’s supple body filling his mind, her soft cries echoing in his ears.
“You might love her, son. But if you do, you’ll leave her to Jace.”
Tremaine didn’t speak. Love her? Love her? He wasn’t prepared to admit to loving anyone. But his feelings for Lexie were as close to love as he’d ever gotten.
“I wrote back and lied,” Joseph went on. “I said I came on the spring wagon train a few years later. I don’t want anyone finding Eliza.”
Tremaine nodded. He turned blindly toward the door. “What’s the return address on the letter?”
“It came through the Victor Flynne Investigative Agency in Portland. Why?”
“I’ll check it.”
“Pa?”
Tremaine froze. Lexie stood in the golden lantern light spilling through the doorway. She wore the dark green dress she’d had on at the Winter Ball. Her hair fell loose to her shoulders; her eyes slid him a look full of hurt and questions.
For a moment Tremaine had the urge to tell her the full truth. To hell with Eliza and her first husband’s powerful friends. He wanted Lexie. He wanted her now. But some of his father’s pleas had struck home. He had to know more before he could jeopardize her future.
“We’re just coming back to the house, Lex,” Pa said gravely, shooting a glance at Tremaine.
“No.” Tremaine’s voice was a harsh rasp. “I’m leaving.”
“Leaving?” Lexie’s face paled.
He couldn’t have wounded her more if he’d told her str
aight out that he used her. His lips thinned in anger at the sight of his father’s frightened face. Damn it all to hell. He was going to hurt her no matter what he did!
“Tremaine… why…?” Lexie asked in a small voice.
He shoved past her, closing his ears to her gasp of anguish, lashing himself for the bitter tears that swam in her green eyes. Until he settled this thing with Victor Flynne, he would never convince Pa the danger was past.
He waited outside in the shadow of the barn until Lexie walked back to the house. Her head was bent, her arms wrapped around her middle. But as he watched her she lifted her chin in that defiant way that wrenched his heart. He watched until the front door closed behind her, the frost-kissed wreath swinging on its hook from the force. This was the most hellish mess he could ever imagine. He strode to where his buggy stood forlornly at the side of the stables.
¤ ¤ ¤
“Lexie, there’s something I want to ask you.”
Lexie lifted her eyes from her plate and looked at Pa. It had been a wretched Christmas dinner and now, with Jesse and Samuel excused, she was alone with her parents who seemed to be in collusion against her.
“Your mother and I would like you to keep the truth of your parentage a secret,” Pa said. “It would be simpler for all of us if no one started asking questions.”
She was so miserable she could hardly think straight. “Why?”
He cleared his throat, fiddling with his fork. “We’re a family and I’d like to keep it that way,” he said lamely. “I’ve already talked to Tremaine.”
Lexie’s fingers dug into the linen tablecloth. Inside she was screaming. “Tremaine — still wants people to think — he’s my brother?”
Pa nodded.
“He wants to hide the truth?”
Frowning, Pa nodded again.
Lexie’s throat closed. Tremaine was behind this! He’d made a mistake and now didn’t have the courage to face it. Fresh tears scalded her throat but she willed them away. “I won’t say anything,” she answered bitterly.