by Amelia Jade
“You’re Allix, the human woman with Captain Klein, yes?” the man asked, his gravelly voice both serving to try and calm her, while also being commanding enough to get an answer from her promptly.
“Yes, ah, sir,” she said, wondering who he was.
“What has you so agitated?”
She paused, unsure about replying.
The older shifter smiled. “You can tell me. It’ll be okay. I promise, even Colonel Richter can’t get a secret from the commandant if I so chose.”
The commandant! Oh shit. She’d just run nose-first into the commander of the Green Bearets. All of the Green Bearets. There was no higher officer, according to Luther. The commandant reported to the King of Cadia, and only the king.
Way to fuck things up even more. You may as well answer him.
“I don’t want to leave,” she said as firmly as possible, noting the way his blue eyes focused on her, not dismissing her words at all. “I was telling the colonel that I wanted to stay and help. To do something.” Her lip peeled back in a snarl. “He said there was nothing I could do.”
The commandant took a long look at her. “He’s right, you know,” the shifter said at last.
“Not good enough,” she snapped automatically, before realizing who she was talking to.
“Perhaps,” the man said, turning to look past her at the office.
She could see gray beginning to creep into his hair. Allix had never seen a shifter with gray hair before. Whoever the commandant was, he’d been through it all. She could see it in his face.
“But nonetheless,” the commandant continued, “Colonel Richter is correct. There is nothing you can do. As a human.”
Allix snorted. “That’s what everyone keeps telling me. I’m useless because I’m human.”
“No, not useless. Just not able to help in this particular situation. Not as a human at least.”
She glared up at him. “So what are you suggesting? That I just magically become a shifter?”
The commandant looked at her, his eyes boring deep into hers. “There’s nothing magical about the Turning,” he said deeply. Then without another word he stepped past her and into the colonel’s office, closing the door behind him.
She noted, in a distant corner of her mind that still worked, that the commandant didn’t have to knock. Most of her brain was focused on what he’d just said.
The Turning. With a capital T.
What the fuck was the Turning?
Chapter Eleven
Luther
He yawned, fighting back the urge to stretch his arms above his head as he made his way back to the officers’ quarters.
What a shitty fucking day.
There had been four times that day that he and Kiefer had been forced to deal with recruits in their company who either couldn’t, or wouldn’t listen to them. After a week of hard training he would have hoped they had removed such tendencies. But apparently this batch was going to be harder to train than the rest.
At least it was over. The one whose arm he’d broken would be fine for the next day, thanks to his shifter natural healing abilities. That was a small blessing at least. Luther was just afraid that one of these days he or Kiefer was going to be forced to kill one of their recruits to drive home the seriousness of what was going on.
He didn’t look forward to that at all, but that was the way it was at Base Camp. Discipline was everything, and Luther would do what was necessary to enforce it.
For now though, he was heading back to his quarters. Where Allix would be waiting for him.
A grin spread across his face as he pictured her smiling face, the way her hair would bounce as she strode across the room to become wrapped up in his embrace. Her soft giggle as he would twirl her around the room, effortlessly keeping her in the air.
She liked that, and it warmed his heart to be able to give her such little things. After all, life in Base Camp wasn’t exactly luxurious, and it grated upon him that he couldn’t lavish her with all the finer things in life that she deserved.
Part of him knew Allix wasn’t that type of woman, that she wasn’t interested in fine dining and expensive cars. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to give it to her anyway.
“I’m home,” he called as the door opened, his usual ritual. It was lame and cheesy.
And they both loved it.
He paused, waiting for her reply. But nothing came.
Odd. Perhaps she was out and about? It was possible, but she knew very well about what time he finished training for the day, turning it over to Kiefer for the last two hours to conduct classroom lessons. The perks of rank, that.
“Allix?” he called as he entered the room. She was here, he could feel her presence, could taste her fresh scent in the air.
His eyes strayed to the center of the room, where she rose from the couch, arms crossed in front of her and a blank look on her face.
Luther immediately came to attention. “What’s wrong?” he asked, looking around the apartment sharply, his senses on full alert. “What happened?”
“Sit,” she commanded, pointing at the couch.
“Ah, okay?” he said, slipping his boots off and crossing the distance.
Warning bells told him not to attempt a hug or any sort of humor just then. Something was up. He’d never seen Allix in such a foul mood before. Was she mad at him? To his knowledge he hadn’t done anything that would warrant such anger.
“You haven’t been telling me everything,” she said angrily, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch, tucking her legs up under her, arms still crossed.
“I haven’t?” he asked in surprise. “I mean, there are some things that are classified, military intelligence, that sort of thing. Yes, I haven’t been telling you that, but I can’t, and won’t, I’m sorry.” He paused. “But you aren’t referring to that, are you?”
Allix shook her head.
He frowned in confusion. “I’m honestly not sure what you’re referring to,” he said. “I’m sure I haven’t told you everything, true. But it’s not because I haven’t held back. It simply hasn’t come up. If there’s something you wish to know about me, please, go ahead and ask. I’m an open book for you.”
Her expression softened for a moment, but then anger clouded it over.
Why was she angry at him? He didn’t get it.
“Okay, well, stick to your word then. Tell me about the Turning.”
He froze.
“Where did you hear that?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said with a shrug. “Tell me.”
“It matters to me,” he said, his voice not quite a snarl. “This isn’t some game. Where did you hear that?”
Allix looked at him, as if evaluating his words. She must have seen how deadly serious he was, because she relented and told him.
“The commandant told me this morning after Colonel Richter threw me out when I told him I wanted to help.”
Luther shook, trying not to explode. “You went above my head?” he asked in disbelief.
What the hell had she been thinking? And why had the commandant seen fit to tell her about the Turning? Damn him!
“You weren’t willing to do anything!” she practically shouted at him. “I want to help. I need to help.” He saw tears well up at the corner of her eyes, but they never fell. “Dammit, you don’t understand how much this means to me. How…how at home I feel here. I belong here, for fuck’s sake. I feel so at home, so right, in this setting. But everyone looks at me like I’m useless, simply because I’m fully human, and not a shifter!”
His heart ached at the pain in her words, at the futility she must feel. Luther longed to reach out, to gather her up in his arms and reassure her, to tell her that it would be okay, that she would be fine.
But now wasn’t the time. Allix didn’t need holding and reassurance.
He sighed.
She needed answers.
“Tell me about the Turning,” she pleaded, her eyes desperate.
>
He eyed her for several long moments, his thoughts in a million different places. This was the exact thing he’d avoided mentioning in the morning when she’d first told him she wanted to help.
In his mind, it was too soon. Too early. She’d only been around shifter culture for a week, exposed to just the most basic elements of it. That wasn’t enough time to form a true opinion of how she felt about it. Not in his mind at least. Weeks, months even, would be necessary to truly see if she liked it.
And yet, there was that other, niggling little tidbit. The commandant had mentioned it to her. Luther had met the commandant on precisely three occasions. His graduation from the Green Bearets, at a formal function he’d been invited to upon his promotion to captain, and at his induction into the Guardians of Cadia.
Each time he’d been impressed, even awed, by the intellect and intelligence of the semi-reclusive commander of the Green Bearets. The commandant was not a shifter to be trifled with, on the field of battle, or in a battle of minds.
Probably why he’s the commandant.
So the fact that he’d mentioned the Turning to Allix was a big deal. Luther knew he wouldn’t have done so lightly, that he would have only made the suggestion if he thought she was ready to hear it.
Obviously he saw something that Luther didn’t.
Of course he does. He’s not biased and can look at her neutrally. You don’t want to tell her about it because you know how she’ll feel about the idea. You want to protect her, while the commandant is willing to set her free.
Shit.
“Okay,” he said with a defeated sigh. “I’ll tell you.”
“Thank you,” she said primly, not gloating in her victory.
“The Turning is exactly what it sounds like. A full-blooded human is changed into a shifter.”
Allix shook her head. “But I thought that was impossible. I didn’t think it worked like that.”
“It’s not something we speak of often,” he said at last. “For several reasons. But you are partially right. It doesn’t work for all shifter types. There is some sort of difference in the mutation that allows us to shift. Airborne shifters cannot turn humans. They must be born into it. But us landbound shifters can turn a human. That is one reason why there are so many more of us, than say, dragons.”
“I see.”
Allix opened her mouth to say more, but he held up a hand, cutting her off sharply.
“But there’s a reason we don’t talk about it often,” he continued.
“Why is that?”
“Because it doesn’t always work. Humans can and are killed by the process. And even if it works, more are lost to their bears once it happens.”
“I don’t understand. Lost to their bears?”
He nodded. “The process can kill easily. It often is too much for many humans. But if they make it through that, then their bear will manifest itself inside of them. Imagine,” he said, reaching up and touching his own head for emphasis. “Another entity, suddenly blossoming inside your mind. One that can reach out and take control of your body, wrenching it away from you and controlling it. Using it to do whatever it wants.”
Allix’s mouth opened slightly in shock as he revealed more to her about what it was like to be a shifter.
“Are you ready for that? Prepared? We spend the first fifteen years of our lives learning to order our minds, to prepare to harness our bears when they manifest, so that they don’t assume control and shred our human minds, driving us insane.”
There was a sliver of fear in her eyes, but he could tell it wouldn’t be enough. She was determined.
“So many humans who are turned that survive the process are unable to rein in their bear, to control it within their mind. They shift into animal form, and become unstable.”
“What happens to them?” she asked softly.
He looked away. “They are hunted down and killed. Immediately. No exceptions.”
Allix nodded. “I understand. Your bears are bigger, faster, and much stronger than those in the wild. A feral shifter bear would do enormous damage if left to its own devices.”
Luther nodded unhappily. “Exactly.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” she asked.
He opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
There, he said it. The two of them hadn’t openly discussed the future, and he’d assumed that at some point she would leave to find another life, leaving him here alone. It wasn’t what he wanted, but he was prepared to let Allix do what she needed to. What was best for her, and not what he wanted.
“Lose me?” she said, and he heard the emotion in her voice.
“Allix, I care deeply for you. I know we’ve sort of tiptoed around that, but I think we need to have that conversation. I feel…something, for you. Something I’ve never felt before. It’s strong and intense. You’ve been in my life not even two weeks, and I already can’t imagine not having you around. The idea of not waking up next to your face makes my stomach ache, and my heart breaks every time I think of you leaving, wandering off to your next city to explore.”
“Oh Luther,” she said, and at last she unwrapped herself, throwing her body at him.
He was ready, and he caught her in a tight embrace, careful not to squeeze too much, lest he hurt her, but still enough that she felt safe and secure in his arms.
“Have you been worried about this all this time?” she whispered in his ear as they lay together.
“Yes,” he replied without hesitation. “I want you to stay with me.”
She kissed his neck. “I want to stay too, Luther. I do. I wasn’t lying when I said I feel at home here. That applies to everything, not just Base Camp. I feel at home with you.”
He smiled, kissing her forehead gently.
“But if I’m going to stay,” she continued, “I need to be able to do my part.” Allix pulled back until she could look him in the eye, though she didn’t try to shrug off his embrace. “I want you to Turn me.”
He closed his eyes.
“Please don’t ask that of me,” he whispered. “If something goes wrong, I couldn’t bear knowing that I was the one who did it to you.”
“Luther,” Allix said, cupping his face and forcing his head up so that he had to look at her. “I am making this decision. This is what I want. All I’m asking is that you support me with it.” Allix paused, and he sensed she was about to use her last, most potent argument. “Like a mate would.”
His spine went rigid.
“That’s not fair,” he said softly.
“Neither is you refusing to do what I want, not because it’s not the right thing to do, but because you’re scared.”
Anger flared briefly inside of him, but Luther shook it off. She was right. He was scared. Scared of harming her. Scared of something going wrong.
Scared of losing her.
“No,” he said at last, coming to a decision. “Not yet. I want you to take some time, now that you know what it is. Go for a walk, clear your head, whatever you need to do. Come back to me with a list of pros and cons of going through with this. We’ll discuss it rationally, and then see how you feel.”
Allix looked at him. “That’s fair.”
He blinked. “No argument?”
She smiled. “You’re not refusing to Turn me. You just want me to be sure I know what I’m getting myself into. And you’re right, I did just find out about it, and about how badly it can go. That’s not something I should rush into, even if I feel that it’s what I want.”
He reached up and cupped her head, bringing it down to him, so that he could kiss her.
“How did I get so lucky?” he asked, relieved that she was willing to listen to his suggestion, even if deep down he knew it wouldn’t change her mind.
“You didn’t. You screwed up and got me involved in your shit,” she said with a laugh. “It was just sheer coincidence that I happened to find you more attractive
and interesting than Aksel.”
Luther joined her in a laugh, before he kissed her again, making sure to do a thorough job of it.
“I’m going to go for a walk,” she said, planting her lips on his forehead as she pushed off of him and rose to her feet.
“I’ll shower and then see what they’re serving for dinner,” he said, taking the time now to stretch thoroughly, his shoulders popping as he lifted his arms over his head.
“See you in a bit,” she said, blowing him a kiss before pulling on her thick winter jacket and boots.
The moment the door closed, he ran his fingers over his head. The hair was getting a little long, he thought. Time to buzz it back down again.
That was the least of his worries at the moment.
***
Allix
She paused outside the doorway, trying to decide where to go. The sun was already well down past the mountains to the west, and darkness had fallen. The days might be starting to get longer, but it would be a long time yet before there would still be much light left at this time.
There were still packs of recruits filling the parade ground and other training areas. So she decided to go east. Once she made her way past the barracks buildings, where the recruits and lower-ranked Green Bearets were billeted, there was a maze of paths through the forests. She could lose herself there, without having to worry about getting lost.
Walking across the center of Base Camp, she returned the nods from the various shifters she passed. Although she knew but a fraction of them, by now they all knew who she was. She didn’t like the notoriety of it, however, because it made her feel like she was some sort of walking circus act, and that people only acknowledged her because she was human.
Because she was different.
Thus it was a relief when she finally hit the start of the paths and disappeared into the forests. It was dark, and she couldn’t see much in front of her except for the odd light that appeared at varied points. That was fine with Allix; she’d always had excellent night vision for a human, and that had been amplified in the week she’d spent at Base Camp, where there was little in the way of light at night.
Snow crunched to her left and she whirled, not having expected company.