by Gigi Moore
Prentice hoped it wasn’t too late to atone for his sins the way his parents had been doing before he had taken their lives in almost the same way they had taken Brielle’s and Caith’s lives. He decided the first thing he needed to do on his road to redemption was leave Lucy and Ki. It would be the best move for all concerned.
* * * *
Now that he had Ethan where he wanted him, all alone and almost completely unaware, he couldn’t pull the trigger and do what he needed to do.
Ethan was making things too easy and he didn’t like or trust easy. Not to mention, he had crossed the kid’s path several times in town, purposely making himself visible, even letting Ethan serve him drinks at Winchester’s, and the kid hadn’t shown any signs of recollection.
Either Ethan had acquired a superior poker face or he genuinely did not remember the man who had shot him in the back.
If Ethan had remembered the man responsible for killing him, certainly he would have gone to the sheriff and reported the crime by now, but since no one had come knocking on his door yet, he assumed Ethan had not gone to the law.
Had the feat of returning from the dead caused his memory lapse? How long would the kid’s amnesia last and did he want to take a chance of it being permanent?
The latter was a risk to be certain, but one he found himself willing to take. He was rightly taking pleasure spending his time in Elk Creek this go-round. Before, his stay had been all about business. Now, he was having an entertaining time.
His taste for the hunt, watching and stalking his prey and everyone Ethan cared about was growing. He was enjoying himself. If he killed the kid now, the game would be over and he wasn’t yet ready for it to be over. He wasn’t ready to put the kid out of his misery. In fact, he was going to let this play out a little longer, at least until he got bored with this town and its people and decided to move on to greener pastures.
Until then, he would stay…and play.
Chapter 20
Ki hurled his épée across the room in frustration and flung himself back onto the chaise longue against the wall. He was totally exhausted and annoyed with himself because the practice session he just completed had done absolutely nothing to help clear his head as he had hoped it would. If anything, the exercise had depressed him more than he had been when he had started.
Leaving Healing Magick directly after his discussion with Lucy, he had wandered around town for a while with no plain destination or purpose in mind. He had been lost but had known he had brought the misery on himself by forcing Lucy to tell him about Ethan, aka Prentice.
Finally, he’d pulled himself together enough to come home, and finding the house empty—assuming his mother had gone out on one of her now-famous and much loved shopping sprees—he had immediately stripped out of his dress clothes and changed into his fencing attire.
What was he supposed to do about Ethan now? He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to call the stripling—Ethan or Prentice—but he knew there was no doubt that Lucy had been telling him the truth as she knew it and that he believed her tale, as wild as it seemed. What he couldn’t fathom was Prentice’s state of mind or the level of hatred that had driven him to have done what he had done in his previous life to several people Lucy loved as friends.
Ki had been going over it and over it in his mind since Lucy had told him, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel about Ethan now. He knew he still wanted him, and if the young man had walked through the front door right then, Ki had no doubt what his physiological reaction would be—instant lust. The question was could he reconcile his knowledge of Prentice’s character with his own body’s responses? Did he even want to be associated with a man who, by default, had tried to do what Prentice had tried to do to Cade, Thayne, and Maia? Could he care for someone capable of that kind of violence? Come to that, how much of Prentice’s consciousness was in Ethan’s body and how much of Ethan still remained?
A month ago his biggest concern had been whether or not he wanted to continue working in the firm with his stepfather. A week ago his biggest concern had been how he was going to get his wife on board with a ménage à trois. Now he was pondering the concepts and minutiae of life after death and whether or not he could care for a cold-blooded killer.
How had his life come to this?
Ki buried his face in his hands and sighed. He was unaccustomed to questioning his instincts. They had, after all, yet to steer him wrong, and his instincts were telling him that Prentice was not the monster that his past indicated he might be. He refused to accept that he could have the feelings he had for Prentice if Prentice was totally evil. Someone somewhere must have believed that Prentice had good in him, that he had the capacity to be rehabilitated and this was why he had been brought back and given a second chance.
Ki clung to the latter idea. He had to hold out some hope that his entire worldview had not been irretrievably destroyed.
“Is everything all right?”
Ki jerked his face out of his hands to see Ethan standing on the threshold of the parlor, frowning at him. “No, everything is not all right.”
Ethan instantly crossed the room and crouched beside Ki. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to Lucy?”
“Lucy is fine. I visited her earlier at Healing Magick as a matter of fact and we had an interesting conversation…about you.”
Ethan drew back and stood. “About me?”
“I know who you are, Ethan. I know what you’ve done.”
“Lucy told you?”
“Don’t blame her. I didn’t give her a choice.”
Ethan—because he just couldn’t reconcile the man standing before him with the man Lucy had told her committed murder and attempted murder—just stared at him.
“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”
“Why should I? It seems like you’ve already tried and convicted me. What’s left, Hezekiah? Execution? Are you going to slice me open with one of your sabers?”
“Don’t tempt me, Ethan. Or do you want me to call you Prentice?”
“I don’t have to stand here and listen to this.” Ethan tried to leave, but Ki whipped out his hand and caught his wrist. “I only came back to tell you and Lucy that I…I have to leave. I can’t stay here anymore. Now let me go so I can pack.”
“You’re not going anywhere until we straighten this out.”
“There’s nothing to straighten out. I’ve already made my decision.”
Ki bent his head and slammed his mouth down against Ethan’s so hard their teeth collided with a resounding clack. He teased the seam of Ethan’s lips, nipping and sucking until Ethan opened to him with a groan.
Ki thrust in his tongue, stroking Ethan’s as he backed the younger man up against the wall and planted his thigh between Ethan’s legs, rubbing his hardening cock with his knee.
Ethan rolled his hips, grinding his pelvis against Ki’s knee while he flung his arms around Ki’s shoulders and held him tight.
A few moments later, Ki pulled himself away for needed air and a second after he opened his eyes he saw Ethan’s fist flying toward his face.
The punch landed solidly against his jaw. Ki staggered back a step, massaging his chin as he admiringly stared back at Ethan. “I deserved that.”
“But I’m sure you think I deserve that and worse. I know you want to punish me, hurt me for what you think is my transgression.”
“I want nothing of the sort.”
“Be honest, Ki. You can’t tell me after you heard what Lucy had to say about me, about Prentice, you didn’t think I deserve to feel some kind of pain for what I’d done and that you would be the one to dole it out.”
“I just want the truth.”
“You want an excuse to hate me so you don’t have to worry about your feelings for me and Lucy. But I understand, believe me. It’s not the first time I’ve been abandoned. It won’t be the last time.”
“Abandoned?” Ki gaped then caught Ethan by the arm as the younger man tri
ed to leave. “Oh no, you don’t.” The last thing on his mind was abandoning Ethan. He wished he could just say to hell with everything and walk away. He couldn’t though, not now. His heart was involved.
He realized with a flash of panic that he was in love with Ethan and Lucy.
Dear God, help me!
Ethan glared at him. “You say you just want the truth, but you can’t tell me you don’t want a little bit of retribution, too, vengeance for Lucy’s friends, the people she cares about, the people you care about now, too.”
“Lucy cares about you,” Ki murmured. “I care about you.”
Ethan had worked up such a head of steam, however, Ki didn’t think the stripling heard him since he continued his tirade as if Ki hadn’t spoken.
“It’s only natural for you to hate me after what you must have heard, Ki. I understand that, believe me. The thing is you can’t hate me any more than I’ve been hating and punishing myself day and night since I returned.”
“I don’t hate you…Prentice.” Ki didn’t know why he said the name except to try to get used to it the same way he had been familiarizing himself with the deeds attached to the name. The moniker, however, left a bad taste in his mouth and the next words the stripling spoke saved him from ever having to use it again.
“I’m not that man anymore. I haven’t been in a long time. Please, call me Ethan.”
“Gladly.” Ki pulled him back into his arms, relief flooding him as he realized how much he had been dreading as much as needing the truth from the horse’s mouth and not just from Lucy’s. He realized, too, that he had already forgiven Prentice for his past and was ready to move into the future with Ethan and Lucy. “I don’t want you to leave.” He pressed his lips against Ethan’s temple. “I know Lucy doesn’t want you to leave either.”
Ethan closed his eyes and sagged against him as if he had finally reached the end of a long, arduous trip, then he said the words that Ki thought he had been longing to hear all his life.
“Will you make love to me, Ki?”
“Try to stop me.”
* * * *
Lucy didn’t get much work done at Healing Magick after Ki left, and she used the excuse of his visit to take off and leave early.
Neither Maia nor Sabrina gave her a sideways glance. Both of them just seemed to take it for granted that whatever had transpired between her and Ki behind closed doors was a good thing and that Lucy was on her way home to finish whatever amorous activities she and her husband had started in the storeroom.
Lucy should have been so lucky.
Home was the last place she wanted to go, however, and instead she found her feet carrying her to the town church.
She needed someone to talk to, but she couldn’t speak to anyone at Healing Magick about her dilemma. They wouldn’t be very pleased by what she had to say. Ki hadn’t been.
Lucy didn’t really see herself speaking to Reverend Bayless any more than she saw herself speaking to her friends, but just the idea of being in the Lord’s house gave her a small measure of peace. She didn’t know why, since it seemed as if He had never seen fit to grace her with his presence before. Of course, she hadn’t been very dutiful herself these last several years.
Lucy used to go to church with her mother regularly as a child. Her father had never seen the need and never taken her after Lucy’s mother had died. He had been too busy grooming Lucy to take her mother’s place as his domestic slave. When he had finally turned her over to Rance, she had been all too equipped to take care of a man’s every need, except that of his needs in the bedroom. The road to her sexual instruction had been an unpleasant one, but like everything else before it, she had survived.
Lucy was tired of just surviving, though. She was tired of taking things as they came at her without making any demands of her own. She was tired of hiding away from things like a scared little girl.
She sat in the front pew of the chapel for a good half hour, just staring straight ahead at the pulpit from where the reverend would give his sermon and imagined what he would say to give her the strength to do what needed to be done. She realized, though, that no matter what anyone else said—be it her friends who she admired, or the reverend with a congregation of so many who looked to him for his wisdom and guidance—she had the final say in what happened in her life with Ki and Prentice.
Decided, Lucy gathered her handbag and stood to make her way out of the pew.
When she got to the end of the bench and turned to make her way up the aisle, she bounced off of a massive male chest and automatically gasped.
“Begging your pardon, ma’am. I didn’t mean to startle you none.”
“It’s okay. I rightly should have been looking where I was going.” She had been so focused on getting out of the chapel she hadn’t even bothered to glance up. Truth be told, she hadn’t known she wasn’t alone. When she had arrived, there hadn’t been anyone in the chapel. She must have been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t heard this gentleman arrive.
“Are you all right then?”
She glanced up at him for the first time and she had to tilt her head way back to see his eyes as he towered over her, even more than Ki did. “I’m, uh, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”
“Right nice to hear. You’re such a little thing and you bumped into me pretty hard.”
“You jarred me a mite, but no harm done.”
He stuck out a hand. “I’m Boone Logan.”
“Lucy Pey…Benjamin.” She put her hand in his and shook it.
“I saw your gathering over at the courthouse when you got hitched a couple of weeks ago. It must take some getting used to your new name and all.”
She chuckled, barely remembered that day and what a sight she, Ki, and their wedding party must have made. She had been so distracted that day she hadn’t known whether she was coming or going, much less noticed all the people who had attended their nuptials and had given her and Ki their well-wishes. “You’re new in town.”
“Been in town a mite.” He smiled. “I’m working over at the Westyn ranch.”
Lucy nodded. A lot of the cowboys worked for Westyn. It was one of the largest ranches in the territory. “I’ve seen you in Winchester’s a time or three.”
“It’s a right nice little watering hole.”
“It is.” She was just glad she didn’t have to work there anymore.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you there with that Cody fella the last time you were there. Right nasty business.”
“It wasn’t pleasant,” Lucy agreed. She didn’t like bad-mouthing people, even if the person in question was Cody Paxton.
“Well, if it ain’t Mrs. Fancy Pants!”
And speaking of the devil.
Lucy and Boone both turned their attention to the entrance of the chapel where Cody staggered down the aisle, bumping into pews as he made his way to them.
It was still early yet, but Lucy wasn’t a bit surprised to see Cody was three sheets to the wind already.
Cody gave Boone a dirty look as he drew close and sneered. “What’s the matter, Lucy? The city slicker ain’t good enough for you? You romancing cowboys in chapels now?” He sniffed and looked Boone up and down.
Boone calmly returned Cody’s look. “You ought not to say things you’re going to be regretting.”
“Oh yeah? And who’s going to make me regret saying anything?”
“Eartha ain’t here to save your worthless hide, Paxton. Stand down.”
Boone’s cool, deep voice sent shivers down Lucy’s spine and instinctively she knew he was a man one would be wise not to mess with.
Too bad Cody chose to ignore Boone’s warning.
He teetered just a little too close to Lucy, bumping against her and knocking her back into the pew before Boone grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.
“Get your stinking hands offa me, Logan!”
Boone turned to Lucy, who had landed on her butt on the bench. “Are you all right?”
“I’m okay.” She didn’t want to admit that she was a little shaken by Cody’s attack, however intentional or unintentional it had been.
“I’m going to take the trash out of here. You try to enjoy the rest of your day, Lucy.”
“You, too, and I will. Thanks, Boone.”
“Hey!” Cody objected as Boone dragged him toward the chapel entrance.
Lucy stood and came out of the pew just in time to catch sight of Ginger McCall when she darted into the chapel past Boone and Cody.
“I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment, Mrs. Benjamin.”
Well, aren’t I the popular lady today?
Lucy wished she could say she was happy about it, but she was just plumb tired of all the to-do. Now that she had made up her mind, all she wanted was to get home, but it seemed it wasn’t in the cards for her just yet.
Resignedly, she sat back down in the pew, sliding over just enough to give Ginger room to sit down beside her.
“Is Ethan in love with you?”
Despite her looking like a mite innocent, small town girl, Ginger certainly didn’t beat about the bush, but then most folks around these parts didn’t.
“I need to know whether I should move on or not.”
“Ginger, I don’t rightly think I’m the one you should be asking.”
“I don’t know who else to ask. Ethan won’t talk to me.” She twisted a hanky in her hands and when Lucy looked into the girl’s gray eyes, she saw how red the whites were, probably from her crying.
She wished she knew what to say to make Ginger feel better, because unfortunately she understood exactly how the girl was feeling right then and she was sure it wasn’t fine.
“He said he loved me, that we would be together forever. He said he was going to make me his wife as soon as he finished up with some business. Then they found him shot dead and he hasn’t been the same ever since. Sometimes he acts like he doesn’t recognize me, and I get the feeling that…that my Ethan didn’t really come back at all but some imposter did.”