by Lori Ryan
Mia sat next to her mom and beat back tears as the minister spoke of her father’s military record. She hadn’t known he’d received the Navy Cross or that he’d gone to Iraq in the Gulf War, not once but twice, before coming home with an injury that ended his military career and, she suspected, tore their family apart.
Her father’s remains had been cremated and would be sent to the National Cemetery in Houston for interment. Jax had arranged that. Apparently any military service man or woman can request their ashes be interred in a national cemetery. It would be nice, she thought, for him to be honored in that way.
Jax stood and moved to the front of the church when the minister invited him, standing behind the podium in his dress uniform. She had been surprised to see him in the white dress uniform of a Sailor, although she didn’t know why that should surprise her.
Her father had been in the Marines, so she tended to picture military uniforms as the navy and red of the Marines, which really made very little sense.
Mia took her mother’s hand and squeezed it as her mom wiped at her nose with a tissue. She couldn’t begin to imagine what her mother was feeling.
It struck Mia again that she hadn’t asked Nick to come to the funeral with her. And he hadn’t offered. She didn’t know why she hadn’t asked. She just hadn’t felt like sharing this part of her with him, but now she wished for his presence by her side. For the calm way he’d hold her hand and simply be there for her.
Jax cleared his throat. “I’m afraid I’m not very good at this. I’d like to do justice to the man we’re paying our respects to today, but I know I can’t.” He looked to the group of homeless men and women and seemed to speak to them for a moment. “It doesn’t seem fair, does it?”
He laughed a bit, but there was a bitterness to it. He didn’t have to voice what he was thinking. Mia knew everyone in the room was thinking the same thing. Leo had just gotten off the streets. Why now?
Jax swallowed hard and began again. “Leo and I never talked about his Navy Cross. I honestly don’t even remember how I knew he had it.” Jax took a piece of paper from his coat pocket and unfolded it. “I looked up the details of the citation.”
His eyes scanned the small group. “Only two Navy Cross Awards were awarded during all of the Gulf War. One of those was awarded to Captain Leo Eddie Kent, United States Marine Corps.”
He looked down at the paper and read the citation aloud. The language was formal and filled with military designations and terms she didn’t understand. The story behind the award was clear, though, even to Mia’s untrained ears. Under heavy enemy fire, her father led his Company in repeated attacks on the enemy, taking out forty-two enemy Armored Personnel Carriers. The Citation spoke of her father as having decisive leadership, unlimited courage in the face of danger, and utmost devotion to duty. It spoke of the lengths he went to in bringing all but three of his men out of there alive.
Mia pressed her hand over her mouth as emotions swamped her. What would have made an American Hero leave her mother and her behind? What could have made him walk away from them? Abandon them when he clearly showed such loyalty and duty to those around him overseas?
Jax put the paper away and looked around the room again.
“I only met Leo a couple of years ago, but I met him at a time when I greatly needed someone to reach out and pull me off a ledge.” His eyes turned back to the other side of the church now, and Mia felt as though he were speaking only to her.
“When I came home from Iraq, I was thankful to be alive. Thankful to be mostly in one piece.” A laugh trickled through the room and Jax smiled a wry smile before continuing. “But despite all that, I had a little trouble figuring out who I could be if I wasn’t FMF Corpsman Cutter. If I wasn’t Doc. That’s who I was. It was all I was. All I’d wanted to be since I was a little boy.”
He looked around the room and Mia had a feeling it wasn’t easy for him to admit any weakness to anyone.
“My brothers are still in the military. My father is a career Navy man. My mother is a military wife, a military mom. I didn’t know where I fit any more. Didn’t have a purpose, a plan. I was flailing.”
He paused as he looked at the urn holding Leo’s ashes and the photo of her father in his military uniform as a young man. Her mother had provided the picture.
“Leo and I started hanging out and one day, he looked at me. I never really did figure out how he knew what was eating at me. I hadn’t told him. He just looked at me and said, one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. It was a mantra I knew well. There were times I was out there in the desert telling myself that same thing. Just keep moving. Just keep going. Do one thing, then the next. The shit would hit the fan and all hell would rain down on us, and I’d think, keep moving. I’d go from one injury to the next, only allowing myself to be in that moment with that Marine.
Leo got that. He said, triage your shit. Move on. One day, you won’t feel so damned out of place. You won’t feel like you’re half-assed kilter in a straight and narrow world.” Jax glanced at the minister and apologized before turning to the mourners again. “He was right. I did what he said, and one day I realized, I was all right. Things were okay and I was going to find a place in the world without the military.”
Mia watched as Jax shook his head and let out a bark of laughter. “Leo was with me through all of that. He asked me once why I was helping him. Why I wanted to hang around with a useless old man like him.”
Jax’s eyes cut back to Mia again and her heart stilled as she waited.
“He was a good man who helped me more than he’ll ever know. I’d imagine he was like that for a lot of the people he met on this walk in life we all have to make. He’d struggled for so long himself, but five years ago, he managed to leave alcohol behind. He left it behind and began to reach out to those he met, helping them. By the time I met him, he was a different man. He was a man who helped those around him. I think he touched a lot of us in his own quiet way despite the demons he was battling himself.”
He turned to Leo’s image and saluted, the quiet around him thick with emotion. Mia saw a few of the men in the group stand and salute as well and she wondered about their service. She wondered if they were fighting demons.
“Goodbye, my friend.”
As Jax walked back to the pew, he held Mia’s gaze and she found herself unable to look away.
Chapter 10
“Are you sure I can’t take you to lunch?” Jax looked between mother and daughter, feeling awful that there wasn’t more he could say or do. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to finally find someone you’d been missing all this time and then lose them so quickly.
“Thank you, but it’s not necessary.” Lynn Kent had a gentle quiet way about her, but there was strength there, too.
She had insisted on driving Jax back to his house after he, Mia, and Lynn had all stayed after the rest of the mourners had left the funeral home.
Jax nodded and handed his card through Mia’s open window. “Call me if you need anything. Either of you.”
“Thank you, Jax,” Lynn said, but Mia only gave him a small smile. She’d been quiet the whole ride back to his house. He knew they planned to stay the night in a hotel and drive back to Hartford in the morning, and for all the world, he wanted to extend the time he had with Mia. He wanted to comfort her in some way.
Not in some way. He wanted to reach out and pull her to him. He wanted to wrap her up and hold her and make this better for her.
Which was stupid really. He barely knew her.
As he stood and waved while the car pulled away, he wondered if it was simply his way of trying to extend his time with Leo. Of somehow not saying goodbye to a man who’d been his closest friend and confidant for the last few years.
He turned and looked up at the front door of his house. It was always empty and quiet when he came home to it, but today the effect seemed intensified.
Jax turned away from the walkway and toward the driveway, pul
ling the keys to his Jeep out of his pocket. He’d told Lynn and Mia he would clean out Leo’s apartment and take care of getting anything either of them might want to keep. He’d never been one to delay something that had to be done, no matter how unpleasant the task. Now was as good a time as any.
As he pulled up to the apartment building that had been Leo’s home for only a few short months, the irony hit him once again. Leo had been off the streets for the first time in years. He’d had shelter and regular food. He’d had a place to sleep that was safe and protected him from the cold or the heat. How was it that his life had been taken now of all times?
The plastic bag from the hospital containing Leo’s belongings sat on the passenger seat of his car as it had for the past three days. He grabbed it and walked up the three flights of steps to Leo’s place. He’d get things cleaned out and then see what kind of cleaning supplies Leo kept on hand. He’d give the place a once over before turning the keys over to the super.
Jax stilled as he approached the apartment door, seeing the door slightly ajar. The lock bore the marks of the effort it had taken for someone to break in, scratches evident in the metal surrounding the lock.
He slowly pushed open the door, standing to the side as he scanned the room. He could see all but the bathroom in the little space. Empty. And other than the bedside table drawers being open, it looked mostly undisturbed. The small television stood on its stand in the corner, just as it always had.
Jax crossed to the bathroom door and peered in. No one in there, but the medicine cabinet stood open. Band-Aids and mouthwash were all that graced the shelves.
He cursed as he walked back over to the apartment door and nudged it shut with his foot before pulling out his phone.
“Hey Chad,” he said when his friend picked up the phone. Chad Thompson had been one of the people from Sutton Capital to attend Leo’s funeral out of respect for Jax, and Jax appreciated the gesture. Chad was also former military, so he understood more than others that the bond between veterans was strong. He’d never questioned why Jax had helped get Leo off the streets. “You have a friend on the New Haven Police Force, right?”
“Yeah, Jarrod Harmon. A detective. Everything all right?”
“Uh, maybe.” Jax looked around at the room and felt a little foolish. He probably shouldn’t be calling this in at all. There didn’t seem to be anything missing. “You know what? It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have called.”
“What’s nothing?” Chad pressed.
“I came to clean out Leo’s apartment and it’s been broken into. The lock was picked and there are a few things out of place. The weird thing is, nothing seems to be missing.” As he spoke, he crossed the room and picked up the plastic bag from the hospital that he’d set on the couch on his way in. “Except …”
He tore the plastic and pulled out Leo’s things, checking through the vest pockets.
“Except, what?”
“His meds are gone.” The two medicine bottles Leo had had at the clinic just days earlier were gone. Jax walked around the apartment, looking on the little dinette table, the small piece of kitchen counter that flanked the sink, then back into the bathroom for another look. “He had medicine he was taking. I saw it the other day when we were at the clinic but it’s not here and it’s not in his jacket pockets.”
“Maybe they kept it at the hospital?” Chad sounded like he didn’t know any better than Jax did whether that would be protocol or not.
Jax frowned and looked around again. “Why would someone break in and then not take anything? There’s a TV here. It’s small but it’s actually pretty new and easy enough to carry off.” He was talking to himself now more than Chad.
“Let me call Jarrod and see what he thinks. See if it’s worth filling out a report or anything.” Chad paused. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“I get it.” Jax said. He did. Leo was gone. “You’ll let me know what he says?”
“Yeah. Hang tight. I’ll call you back in a few.”
Jax stood in the center of the apartment and waited, not knowing if he should touch anything else.
Chad texted back quickly to say Jax should wait. Jarrod was on his way.
He doubted very many people calling about a break in where virtually nothing was missing had two detectives show up on scene, but there was Chad’s friend with another man fifteen minutes later.
“Jarrod Harmon,” the tall man said as he put his hand out for Jax to shake. Jarrod Harmon had the firm handshake and experienced gaze of a veteran detective, and he had an air of calm confidence that set some cops apart from others. His partner was shorter, but looked no less capable for it.
Jarrod gestured to the man by his side who’d been silent so far. “This is my partner Cal Mullen.” Mullen nodded. He was shorter and bulkier than Jarrod with hair that was cut in the standard high and tight cut of a cop. Jax had a feeling people likely wrote him off as a meathead since he looked like he spent hours in a gym each day, but there was a sharp intelligence to his eyes.
“Jax Cutter. Yeah, Leo was a good man. Marines.” He glanced away, not really wanting to talk about Leo. “I hope I didn’t get you guys down here for nothing. I don’t think there’s anything missing other than Leo’s prescription meds.”
Jarrod shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to have a report on file.” He walked around the apartment, pausing to look through the stack of mail on the kitchen table. “Bills are still here. That’s good.”
Cal explained. “Sometimes people are hoping to get personal information they can use to get a credit card or use someone’s identity. It’s possible someone in the building heard about your friend’s death and came looking for that, but this mail looks undisturbed.”
Jax had to agree. The small stack of envelopes stood tucked between the bottle of hot sauce Leo kept on the table and the wall the table stood against.
“The night stand’s drawers were open when I came in and the medicine cabinet was open. I can’t find his pill bottles. Other than that, I can’t come up with anything else that could be missing.”
Jarrod looked around the kitchen counter before coming over to where Jax and Cal waited. “Did your friend keep any cash here or any medals? Pictures or honors from when he served?”
“Shit.” Jax crossed to the twin bed and knelt down to pull the bedspread aside. “I can’t believe I forgot to look.”
He slid a small box out from under the bed and opened it. He’d seen Leo tuck it under the bed when they’d moved him into the apartment, but he’d never asked what was in it. He had a feeling it held the few valuables Leo treasured and held onto all those years he was on the street.
There was the wad of folded twenty-dollar bills Jax had snuck back into Leo’s vest pocket the week before. Jax put that aside and pulled out the Navy Cross Leo had been awarded, handling it with a sense of reverent awe. Underneath were pictures. Pictures of Lynn Kent and a smiling little girl he recognized immediately as Mia.
He stood and tilted the box in Jarrod’s direction letting him see that the contents, including the cash, were still there.
Jarrod and Cal wore nearly identical frowns as Jarrod spoke. “Do you happen to know what the prescription medications were?”
Jax shook his head. “No. I tried not to pry about things like that. I took him to the clinic because he wasn’t feeling well. I know he got some meds from the doc that day. He didn’t say what they were. I didn’t press it. He did ask the doc about something he’d given him before. Actually, the doctor seemed to get a little weird when Leo asked about that.”
Now it was Jax’s turn to frown. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time but looking back, the doctor’s discomfort seemed somewhat odd.
“How so?” Jarrod prompted him.
“The doctor walked out with him to the waiting room and Leo asked if he should still take the other stuff the doctor had given him. It seemed to make him really uncomfortable. I assumed it was just a HIPPA thing, you kno
w? The doctor not wanting to talk about Leo’s personal medical info in front of anyone else.” Jax shrugged. That probably was all that had been going through the doctor’s head. He was making something over nothing.
“Do you know his doctor’s name?” Cal asked.
“Yeah. Dr. Coleman. At least, that’s who he saw the last couple of times I brought him in. I think he’s seen one or two of the other doctors, too. It’s a walk-in clinic so it depends a bit on who’s in that day.”
A knock came from the open apartment door and a uniformed officer stuck his head in. “Detective Harmon?”
“Hey Manny, come on in. Jax, this is Patrolman Vasquez. He’s going to fill out the police report for you. Manny, this is Jax Cutter. He discovered the break in. The apartment tenant is recently deceased. So far, it appears all that’s missing are some prescription meds.”
The young officer nodded, and pulled a notepad and pen from his chest pocket, old school style, and started jotting notes.
Jax hesitated, and looked around. “I feel like maybe I’m making something out of nothing.” As he said it, the buzzing at the back of his neck that had kept him alive in so many situations overseas kicked in. It was that buzzing that had meant the difference between life and death for him on a number of occasions. On the other hand, when that IED had hit, he hadn’t had a clue he was about to step on it.
“Except you don’t.” Jarrod’s voice didn’t contain judgment. Cal was silent again, but Jax didn’t get the sense the man was judging him at all for calling them down here.
“Sorry. It’s just something in my gut telling me there’s something wrong.” Jax looked at the detectives and hoped they got what he was saying.
“I understand gut,” Jarrod said. “Listen, I can’t promise you I can throw a ton of resources at this or anything. I’m not going to flat out lie to you. But we will stop by and talk to the doc and we’ll have the report on file for the break in if we need it.”