“I was practicing,” I tried to explain, though I didn’t know why I felt the need to say anything at all.
Finally closing my book, Jake handed it back to me and picked up his own. He casually rested his elbows on his knees. “Thanks for sharing.” The distance in his voice had returned, instantly annoying me.
“Sure.” I pulled myself back into the opposite corner of the couch. “What are you reading?”
He showed me the hardback’s dilapidated cover. “The Count of Monte Cristo.”
“I’ve never read it, but the movie was great.”
“It’s my favorite book…I’ve read it about twenty times.”
I didn’t doubt it. With its scuffed cover and worn binding, the book was practically falling apart. “Yeah, the binding needs a little restoration. If you put some sort of cover on it, that’d at least stop the rest of it from crumbling.”
His eyebrows rose in question. “I see,” he said.
“I know a lot of random stuff when it comes to preserving things. Working in an art gallery was one of my former trades.”
“And your other trades?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.
“Um, let’s see…I’ve never worked on cars, put on a fireworks show, or shot a gun, but I did work at an art supply place and was a live model for some of the art classes at the U in Salem.”
Jake grinned knowingly.
“My clothes were on,” I clarified. “Oh, and I was a bartender for a few years…and I dabbled in making saltwater taffy back home.”
“Bartender?” he asked, chuckling. Even his smile is mysterious. “That sounds like trouble.” Smiles, laughing, and a little less awkwardness…we’re breaking all sorts of records today.
I relaxed at the sound of his deep, rumbling laugh. “I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you laugh,” I said, and instantly worried I’d just ruined the progress we’d made.
“Not a lot of things make me laugh, I guess.” He leaned back further into the couch.
“Well I’m glad my bartending is entertaining to you,” I said, feigning annoyance. “What about you? What are your other trades?”
Jake thought for a moment before saying, “Nothing very interesting.” He was avoiding my question, but I didn’t push him.
I glanced down at my sketchpad, leaving him to return to his book, but I could tell he was distracted. “Do you think we’ll ever be…not awkward around each other?” I asked, breaking the silence.
My question hung in the air as he continued reading. Finally, he turned the page, and without looking at me, asked, “You mean, like friends?”
“Yeah, I mean…like normal people who can have a normal conversation.”
He peered at me. “Funny, I thought that’s what we were doing.” His tone had hardened.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I don’t have a lot of friends,” Jake added reluctantly.
I didn’t know how to respond, so I leaned back and stared at my empty page. I couldn’t concentrate with him sitting beside me. I wondered what he was thinking. I started to doodle on the page, unable to stay focused. I thought about our silent flirtation in the garage, the blood transfusion, and the fireworks. I kept asking myself what it all meant, or if it meant anything at all. I wondered why it was bothering me so much that he wouldn’t open up to me—why it preoccupied me to the point of drawing my knot tattoo over and over again.
I sat, stewing in questions, further confused by the sense of unease I felt radiating from Jake despite his calm appearance. The sounds of the fire, book pages turning, and my pencil tracing the length of the textured page were all that filled the passing minutes. Yawning, I guessed an hour or so had passed, and since I had to wake up early, I figured I should get some sleep.
Gathering my things, I stood. “Well, I’m training with Harper tomorrow, so I should call it a night.” Folding the blanket and laying it on the back of the couch, I met Jake’s narrowed eyes.
“You’re still leaving?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“Yes,” I said simply, not wanting to start an argument. And you’re not coming with me. “Goodnight.”
36
DANI
Careful not to wrinkle the priceless photo sheltered in the safety of my coat pocket, I searched around the ranch for Jason. He wasn’t in the house, the stable, or the pasture. After the kiss…Oh, what a kiss!…he’d disappeared. I’d enlisted the help of dozens of animals in my search and was keeping the mind connections open in case they tracked him down.
Finally, I heard the faint sound of Jack’s howl, and I knew he’d found my quarry. “Come. Hurry. Strange,” my dog said as he appeared at the crest of a nearby hill, barking nonstop for emphasis.
“Okay, okay, hold your horses. I’m coming,” I grumbled, stalking up the hill. It was cold, and after connecting with so many minds in my call for help the previous night—human and animal minds—I was as exhausted as a person could be without collapsing. Something about using my Ability on people seemed to wear me out more than anything I’d ever experienced, and my several hour nap hadn’t rejuvenated me completely.
After walking for a few minutes, Jack and I spotted Jason in a sparse copse of cypress trees. He was hacking his way through their trunks, tree by tree. His bare, glistening back bunched and flexed with each swing of the ax. Part of me wanted to just stand and admire him from afar, but I had been looking for him for a reason.
Once I was close enough that I didn’t need to shout, I asked, “What are you doing, Jason?”
He paused with the ax raised but didn’t face me. “Chopping firewood.” Duh. He swung again. And again.
“This is kind of far from the house.” Double duh.
Another pause. “Yep.” Another swing.
I rounded the tree he was currently hacking away at, careful to keep clear of the ax’s arc and the erratically jettisoned wood chips. Jason avoided looking at me while I studied him. Other than his curt answers, he acted like he was completely alone. He seemed to lose himself in the meditative motion, and I lost myself in watching him. Lift. Swing. Thunk. Lift. Swing. Thunk.
He wore an expression of grim determination as his chest and abdominal muscles rhythmically clenched and released. Clenched and released. It was hypnotizing. And erotic. And annoying.
“How will you get it all back to the ranch?” I asked, watching his focused, granite expression. There was so much beneath his attractive surface. I wondered how many women had bothered to consider who he was on the inside when his outside would more than make up for pretty much any personality flaws. He was complicated and conflicted—he had always been—though he rarely let it show. It took the world ending for me to realize it.
“I’ll carry it,” he said between swings.
“It’ll take a long time…lots of trips,” I commented. Apparently I was turning into the Queen of Obvious.
Pause. “Yep.” Swing. Thunk. Pause. “That’s the point.” Lift.
Heaving a huge sigh, I said, “We need to talk.” I was growing irritated with his apparent need to ignore me. In my pockets, my hands clenched into fists. I had to remind myself to be careful not to crush the photo.
Pause. “Can’t. Busy.” Swing. Thunk. Lift.
Stop being such an ass! I thought angrily.
Pause. “But I’m so good at it.” Swing. Thunk. Lift.
Crap! I hadn’t meant to speak in his head. I definitely needed to get that under control. My mind was overflowing with inappropriate thoughts that I desperately wanted to keep private.
“This is important…and difficult enough without you flinging that thing around!” I snapped.
He said nothing. Swing. Thunk. Lift. Swing. Thunk. Lift.
Around us, dozens of small furry shapes were tentatively wandering closer, making me realize that I’d been maintaining my connection to the animal scouts. I struggled to disconnect from their minds—exhaustion was making my telepathy increasingly difficult to control.
Finally, a
s I continued to watch Jason take out his pent up aggression on the tree, I lost it. “Dammit, Jason!” I shouted. Tears of frustration swiftly welled and spilled down my cheeks. Silent sobs clenched my gut, making my throat close spastically.
Abruptly, the ceaseless swing, thunk, lift stopped. “Shit,” Jason muttered under his breath. He watched me with wide, troubled eyes. “Don’t do that…I didn’t mean to…I shouldn’t have done what I did back there.”
“What?” I choked out between sobs. Did he just say he shouldn’t have kissed me? That made me cry even harder.
He approached me slowly. “With Cam and everything…and my sister…I shouldn’t have—”
“Oh shut up!” I shrieked, unwilling to listen to all the reasons kissing me was a mistake. Just knowing he regretted it was unbearable. “This isn’t about that.”
The ax slid from Jason’s hand, thumping on the damp ground. “It’s not? Then what?” He quickly closed the distance between us and took my face in his hands—they seemed to burn my cold cheeks. “What is it?”
It was so much harder to form the words when he was being gentle, not to mention when he was standing close enough to feel his enticing heat. Like a coward, I closed my eyes. “I…know what happened to your dad,” I said in his mind. Determined not to leave him to face his pain alone, I forced my eyes open. “He’s dead.”
Jason’s eyes searched mine, and he swallowed repeatedly. “How do you know?” he asked, his voice hollow and weak.
“Grams left a note for me before she…died,” I said, my throat catching on the final word. Unable to speak coherently, I had to finish in his mind. “She found your dad sitting near the ocean. He was already gone.”
Is it getting harder to talk in his head?
“Oh…I…He…We…” Jason stammered, trying unsuccessfully to voice different thoughts. He abruptly moved away from me, picked up the ax, and threw it with a savage roar. It flew, end over end, and crashed against one of the trees he’d mangled, dropping to the ground with a muffled thud.
I tentatively touched his shoulder, and he faced me, a storm of hatred, rage, and regret churning in his eyes. As he searched my face, the storm dissipated, and his expression softened. A single tear escaped from one of his eyes and slid down the chiseled planes of his face. His palpable anguish threatened to revive my own tears.
He fell to his knees in front of me and wrapped his arms around my hips, pressing the side of his face against my down-padded chest. I ran my fingers through his short, thick black hair. It was a little longer than it had been when he’d found me in my Seattle apartment, but not yet long enough to show the loose curl I knew it held. He was the strongest man I’d ever known; he was my rock. But for a brief period of time, I needed to be his.
“I’d hoped…,” he choked out, his arms clenching around me tighter. “I’d thought maybe, just maybe…but it was stupid. Hope,” he growled, “is for fools.”
I tightened my grasp on the sides of his head and forced him to look up at me. “No, Jason,” I whispered. Continuing in his mind, I said, “Losing hope…that’s for fools. What do you think happened to all those people who survived the Virus and then killed themselves? They lost hope. They’re the fools. But us,” I paused, basking in the way his eyes drank me in, wondrous and hungry, “we have wants and desires and people we believe in. We have hope, and when we lose it, we might as well lie down and die.”
Staring up at me, Jason seemed on the verge of saying something. For what felt like minutes he said nothing. Finally, his arms loosened around me, and his hands grasped my hips.
I trembled at the change in his gaze and shivered at the increasing chill in the air. I was suddenly dizzy, unintentionally swaying from side to side, and my head felt like it might explode. Am I gonna pass out? Not again…not now!
My vision darkened around the edges, and my knees abruptly gave out. I would’ve collapsed to the ground if Jason hadn’t been holding me up.
“Dani?” he asked. “Dani, what’s wrong?”
I tried to keep my eyes open—to breathe deeply—but my brain’s commands weren’t being received. “My Ability…used too much…”
As my body went completely limp, Jason hooked one arm behind my knees, the other around my shoulders, and stood. Instead of falling to the soggy ground, I was cradled in his protective arms.
“Cold,” I whispered against his bare shoulder, acutely aware of the contrast between the frigid air and his scorching skin. “It’s dark.”
“It’s the middle of the day,” Jason muttered worriedly as he began walking at a quick clip.
“So cold…tired,” I mumbled, my head lolling back over his arm.
“No Dani. Shit! Stay with me,” he urged. “I need you to wrap your arms around my neck. Can you do that?”
“I think…maybe…” My tongue felt swollen, my arms leaden. I focused all of my remaining strength on following his directions. I felt the same as I had behind Grams’s house and after I’d hit the Crazy with the shovel, except it was a hundred times worse.
“Good,” Jason said, hugging me tightly against his blazing body. “Now hold on.” He began to run. The jarring motion helped me hang on to consciousness, and in a few minutes, we were crashing through the front door of the ranch house.
Startled by the commotion, Ky asked, “Jason, what’s—”
“Her body temp’s too low…fill the tub with hot water!” Jason ordered.
Running out of strength, my arms released their hold on Jason, and my head fell back. I blinked and was suddenly lying on the couch I’d been using as a bed, my clothes being gently peeled away. Though I slapped uselessly at the hands undressing me, first my coat, then my jeans, and then my sweater were removed, until I was shivering in only my bra and panties. I was wrapped in layers of blankets like a swaddled infant and scooped up into Jason’s strong, comforting arms.
“Is it warm?” Jason shouted ahead as he carried me.
“Yeah, but not full yet,” Ky called back.
Jason’s voice echoed slightly when he said, “Go. I’ll finish.” Within seconds he had removed and discarded my cocoon of blankets and partially submerged me in the steaming hot water. It burned, but I savored the feeling, grasping at the chance to be anything but freezing. The situation didn’t make sense though—I was in the water, its delicious heat was lapping at my skin, yet I was still enveloped in Jason’s iron hold. He’s in the tub with me?
As the water level rose, Jason slid our bodies further down in the cramped tub, submerging my entire torso. With one arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my shoulders, he kept my face above the water. With my head resting in the hollow between his shoulder and chest, I watched my hands float near the water’s surface. My dim vision grew stronger and my breaths came more easily as my core temperature increased.
“Jason,” I whispered once the water began to cool.
He tensed. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Sure.” He relaxed, letting me melt back into him.
I eyed the two very masculine, bare knees sticking out of the water on either side of me. “Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you…um… wearing anything?”
His chuckle vibrated against my back. “Hmmm…let me think…I believe I left a little something on. Do you want me to fix that, Red?” Though his words were filled with innuendo, he sounded relieved.
“I…I don’t…Can I just go to sleep? I’m so tired.” I snuggled against him, relishing the feel of his body as my eyelids grew heavier.
“Sleeping in a bathtub…not a great plan,” Jason said. “Let’s get you out and dried off. Can you stand?”
Peering down at myself, I realized I was wearing only my bra and underwear, and shyness overwhelmed me. “Maybe…will you close your eyes… please?”
“Are you serious?” he laughed. “I just undressed you. And it’s not like I’ve never seen you in a swimsuit.”
“Well it’s been a while!” I squeake
d. “A lot changes in a decade…”
“I’ve noticed.” He paused briefly before informing me, “My eyes are closed.”
Carefully, I stood and stepped from the slippery tub. As I did, I turned to watch him, to make sure he didn’t peek while I removed my soaked undergarments and dried off. I robed myself in a thick gown of blankets, studying the man whose quick thinking had just saved me from…something.
What the hell was that, anyway? Death by internal freezing? I was quickly understanding that certain uses of my Ability charged a high price—impromptu naps and killer headaches being the going rate—but this had been different, more dangerous.
“Okay…you can open your eyes.”
Jason did so and stood smoothly, letting the water stream over the enticing ridges of his body.
I spun away, my heart instantly pounding. “I’m going to go get dressed and lay down,” I said in a high-pitched voice.
“Whatever works for you, Red,” he teased.
I hurried from the bathroom, slipped into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, and curled up on my makeshift bed. I was out cold before Jason emerged from the bathroom.
~~~~~
“Okay, so stick your foot in the stirrup…no, Ky, the other foot…and then pull yourself up. You’re big strong guys; I’m sure you can handle it,” I teased.
Jason had already mounted while Ky and his horse were doing a little square dance with his foot stuck in the stirrup.
“Can’t you help?” Ky called in my general direction. “Like, make it stand still or something?”
I snorted, unable to hold the laughter in any longer. “Won’t help you…you’ll just end up doing this again next time. You’ve got to figure it out.”
“Thanks so much, D. You’re a huge help.”
“I try,” I said, quieting my giggles.
Three hours later, we were walking our horses down Bodega Avenue. On our mission to scout and gather supplies pertinent to our impending departure, we’d loaded our bags with medicine and hygiene items, some food, spices, salt, liquor, and dog food. We’d found, but hadn’t yet taken, a huge supply of feed and some useful tack at a farm close to our own ranch. We would have come back for it.
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 31