I gasped as Jason’s touch hurtled me off the top of a mountain of bliss, and I was free-falling into heaven, or maybe into hell.
I lay in his arms for minutes, breathing hard and basking in the afterglow. Craning my neck, I peered up at his shadowed face. “So you’re not mad?”
“No, Red,” Jason laughed. “All the proof I need that you’re still mine is right here.” His forearm flexed, and he did something with his fingers that sent echoes of pleasure through my body.
I moaned and arched against him, but in my chest, a very different ache blossomed. I want more than this…more than lust, I didn’t say. I want you to love me, because I love you, I didn’t say, despite feeling it in my every cell.
With a satisfied exhale, Jason withdrew his hands from my pants and shirt and quickly refastened my jeans. His powerful arms wrapped around my middle, and he rose, bringing me up with him.
Once I was on my feet, I turned and slipped my hand under the hem of his t-shirt, tracing the outline of his abs. I moved my hand lower, fully intending to return the pleasure he’d just lavished upon my body.
He caught my wrist in an iron grip before I reached the top button of his jeans. Shaking his head, he said, “Let’s go to bed.”
My eyebrows drew together. “But…don’t you want”—I glanced lower on his body—“you know…?”
Leaning down so his lips brushed my ear, he laughed huskily. “More than anything. But we can’t risk me nulling everyone; it’s too dangerous. Ky’s keeping watch, but without his Ability…” I felt him shake his head. “After what happened last time, I’m not willing to risk it for anything…not until I know we’re safe.”
I flushed. Last time we’d really been together, he’d lost control of his Ability—nulling the general area, as usual—and I’d been abducted. “Oh, right. If you’re sure…”
He shifted, trailing his lips along my jawline until he pressed a gentle, almost chaste kiss against my lips. “I am. And trust me, Red—it’ll be worth the wait.”
I’m sure, I thought. But I want more than that, too.
Jason captured my hand and led me back to camp. We retreated into our tent, where Jack was already waiting for us, and settled into our sleeping bags—closer to each other now, but still far enough apart that Jason wouldn’t accidentally hurt my arm while we slept. Jason was asleep within minutes, his breathing deep and even, and not long after, Jack snuggled close on my other side. He inhaled deeply, exhaled in a sigh, and was out.
I watched Jason, studied the way the moon shadows played over the sharp angles and planes of his face and softened the harshness of his scar, until sleep tugged my eyelids closed. But my mind refused to give in to the coaxing pull, despite my body being utterly exhausted and more relaxed than it had been in weeks. I lay there, willing myself to fall asleep.
After an hour or two of trying, I gave up. I opened my mind, seeking out a companion for the wee hours of the morning. Wings was napping in the pasture, and thousands of other creatures were slinking and scurrying through the field around camp, but none of them were the mind I sought.
Finally, I found Ray, perched on one of the top branches of a lodgepole pine a few miles away. The falcon fluffed her feathers in anticipation as I relaxed into her mind. She spread her wings and launched into the night before I was fully detached from my own body, and I felt myself exhale a sigh of relief.
Yes! This is what I need.
9
ZOE
MARCH 31, 1AE
Great Basin Desert, Utah
My heart raced, and my body trembled with a thrilling sort of panic; an aria of desire and excitement and fear sung through me, sensations so raw and real it was as if I was feeling them for the first time.
He braced me up against a wall, a woolen blanket the only thing sparing me from the hard surface of the rough, wooden slats. Momentarily, my eyes flitted open. I was in a barn washed in the pale dawn light seeping in between wood planks.
A low, possessive groan preceded his hot breath, burning against my neck. I shuddered as instinct took over, and my eyes closed again. He trailed urgent kisses along my jaw before finding my mouth, his lips both soft and bruising. His hot body against mine sent a curling ribbon of anticipation spiraling through me.
How could something so wild feel so right?
A throbbing need flooded my insides, filling even my deepest, most forgotten hollows. It was nearly too much to bear as his strong fingers knotted in my hair, his silken tongue burning against my skin, and I could feel his muscles flexing with every determined thrust of his body. His fingertips explored my curves, leaving fire trails in their wake and setting my body ablaze with an appetite for something I didn’t understand but desperately wanted to fulfill.
A devastatingly greedy hunger rippled through me, and my immediate fears and uncertainties vanished as I let all my inhibitions go. Feeling so full and overwhelmed with lust, I gripped him closer and struggled to catch my breath…
He thrust, and I cried out.
Feeling awakened and near bursting with a coiling, aching fever I thought might bring me to my knees if I didn’t give in, I shuddered against him, holding on for dear life as the world dissolved around me. And as though my body couldn’t contain the roiling sensations a moment longer, my insides swelled with a pulsating intoxication that left me near tears.
I was falling…losing myself in a swirling blackness of passion.
“Jake…”
Starting awake, my insides still clenched in wanting and my heart nearly jumping out of my sweat-dampened chest, I looked around the tent’s interior. I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves. I’d expected to see Becca still asleep beside me, but thankfully, I was alone. Did I oversleep?
Hearing hushed whispers outside by the campfire, and with only dim light filling the tent, I assumed it was still early morning. I sighed in relief. This dream, like the many I’d been having as of late, seemed so real that I felt like I was losing my mind—or, rather, like I might be finding it again. I ran my fingers through my hair and lay back down, heaving a sigh of relief that I was alone in the tent. I couldn’t imagine what Becca might’ve overheard had she been asleep beside me. Get a grip, Zoe.
I unzipped my sleeping bag and let the cool air assault my exposed skin. Although my arms were covered by long sleeves, I’d been growing too warm most nights, and had decided shorts were a better option. As I sat there in the brisk spring chill, I realized the dreams were most likely the cause of my body’s confusion. I shivered, welcoming the distraction, and I hoped it would help stir me awake and out of my apparent sex fog.
My dreams had become more frequent and so much more…real. As a result, it was increasingly difficult to be around Jake—to look at him and not see his hard, naked body and the hunger illuminating his copper eyes that I saw so frequently in my sleep. As long as we weren’t too close or touching, I found it easy to be around him. But when I came close enough that I could feel his longing for the woman I’d once been, I was torn. I wasn’t her, I likely never would be again, and I wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with that when he finally accepted it.
Determined to get my day started, I dug through my duffel and pulled out a set of clean clothes. After unfurling my favorite black t-shirt, I shook the wrinkles out of it and pulled it over my head. Amused, I considered how foreign my clothes had felt to me a little over a week ago, and that at some point I’d deemed a knee-high pair of soft, pink socks, the black, well-worn t-shirt, and a pair of snug, faded blue jeans my favorite ensemble. Had that always been the case? Given the fact that I’d been a gallery assistant of sorts like Jake had said, I highly doubted it.
Standing as straight as was possible in the two-person tent that was Becca’s and my current bedroom, I tugged my jeans up, pausing as my eyes lingered on the tattoo on my hip. I’d often wondered why, of all things, I’d decided to get a Celtic knot inked on my skin—the same Celtic knot I’d apparently painted on pretty much all of my worldly possession
s. What does it mean? I’d seen its twin on the inside of Dani’s left wrist when Harper had been examining her broken arm. I’d wanted to ask her about it on numerous occasions. I knew, deep down, that it was important to us, that it symbolized something that I would probably never fully comprehend, but I wanted to at least try.
Unzipping the side pocket of my bag, I pulled out my brush, running it through my hair before tossing it back down. Jake’s voice rumbled in the still air outside my tent, and I froze, listening and waiting. I wasn’t sure I had gathered my wits enough to see him just yet. Straining to listen, I heard his heavy, unhurried footsteps dawdle by what I assumed was the fire pit. He chuckled softly at something one of the other campers whispered, and I heard a folding chair creak beneath his powerful body. The image of his strong, possessive arms wrapped around me flashed in my mind, and I groaned.
Searching the side pocket of my bag for my toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, another smoldering image of his fingers gripping my hair flashed in my mind. Despite my efforts to explore the comet trail of desire and curiosities left behind by my frequent dreamy sexcapades, it was proving difficult to find my backbone when it came to initiating anything between Jake and me. The pressure to be her, and the fear that I would grossly disappoint him, trumped all of my own intentions and desires.
Finally, I found my toothbrush and toothpaste and grabbed my bomber jacket before steadying myself to leave my safety zone. Unzipping the tent, I stepped out into the chilly morning and let the cool, high-desert air assault my hyperaware senses.
So as not to be rude, I glanced over at Jason and Jake, who were sipping their morning coffee by the fire. “Good morning.”
Jake’s back was to me, but Jason’s wasn’t. My brother looked exhausted, but who wouldn’t be after having second watch—scouting the camp perimeter while the rest of us slept soundly in our tents. Jason nodded at me and Jake craned his neck as I passed by.
“Morning,” they said in unison.
Under the heat of Jake’s stare, I couldn’t help but blush. Can he tell I just woke up from a scandalous dream about him? The way my face reddened and I fumbled around whenever he was nearby, I assumed it was nearly impossible for him not to notice how much his presence affected me.
I walked over to the water station Sarah and I had set up on the back of the temporarily nonoperational and very rickety covered wagon. Taking a couple days of respite while Jake and Jason worked on repairing it was a welcome break from long days of boring riding; it allowed everyone—horses and riders alike—time to rest and gave me the opportunity to appreciate the expansive high desert landscape that surrounded us.
I dipped a small, plastic cup into a galvanized tub of water, filling it as much as I could before heading over to the washing station a few yards away. I stopped at the folding table set up near a small cliff that overlooked a canyon, stuck my toothbrush inside the water cup to wet the bristles, and squeezed on a healthy dose of much-needed minty paste.
Appreciating the small luxuries, I brushed my teeth, grateful to carry out such a mundane task with such a spectacularly eerie view. With the sun illuminating the dense fog that settled between the towering sandstone mesas scattered below our camp, it was like the fog acted as a barrier between two worlds—two realities.
I felt like I was caught between two realities—the one I’d awoken in after the incident at the golf course, and the one I should’ve been in.
“Did you sleep well?”
I jumped mid-brush and pivoted around to find Jake wandering up behind me. His coffee mug was dwarfed in his large hand as he took a sip. His eyes met mine briefly before shifting to my mouth and back. Clearing his throat, he averted his gaze as he tried not to laugh. “You have some toothpaste…right here,” he said and pointed to the corner of his mouth.
Mortified, I hurriedly wiped away the white, pasty foam with my sleeve.
“Did you sleep well?” He stepped past me, his gaze fixed on the canyon surrounding us.
When he looked back at me, expecting an answer, I nodded. With a final quick brush, I spit over the edge of the cliff. “You?”
Amused, Jake watched me as I swished around a final mouthful of water. “Jason and I had second watch last night,” he said.
I spit again. “Oh, right. How was it?”
He shrugged and took a step toward me, a crooked smile parting his lips. “I found something I want to show you,” he said, bringing his hand up to my cheek. Unbidden, images from my dream flashed through my mind, and once again I felt a thrilling sense of panic. With the pad of his thumb, he wiped away what I assumed were the final remnants of my morning routine.
“Thanks,” I said, feeling self-conscious under the weight of his stare.
His smile broadened. “What are you doing today?”
I grabbed the jacket I’d hung over some sagebrush and shrugged it on before gathering my things. “Umm, after breakfast, I was going to practice some more with Sam and Tavis. I think I’m finally starting to get a teensy bit better with the whole archery thing.”
“Good,” he said.
“I’m free after that, unless you want to help me with my self-defense again.” I gave him a playful flutter of my eyelashes. “Because last time worked out so well…”
Jake grinned and rubbed the side of his face like he could still feel where I’d smacked him. “Jason and I need to put the front wheel back on the wagon, but we can practice after.”
“Perfect,” I said, and we started walking back toward camp. “So you guys figured it out then? Whatever was wrong with the wheel, I mean.”
Jake stopped just outside camp, dumping the final remnants of coffee from his mug out on the dirt. “I think so. We tweaked a few things, so hopefully it’ll help.”
“Well, that’s good news,” I said, smiling at Sarah as she waddled past us. “I’m gonna help Sarah with breakfast. Come find me later?”
Jake studied me, his expression bordering on amused. “You got it,” he said, and I felt a surge of hope as he walked back toward the fire pit.
Dropping my things off at my tent, I headed over to Sarah, who was bustling around by the food tubs as she gathered her morning ingredients. “What can I do?” I asked, ready to be put to work.
She glanced over at me. “Hey, Zoe.” She flashed a bubbly smile, an expression I’d come to rely on each morning. “Can you wash and chop the potatoes for me? Pretty please, with extra chocolate syrup?”
A laugh burst from my mouth, and I felt the tension Jake had inspired in my body instantly ease. “Cheap shot, Sarah,” I said, shaking my head with feigned regret. “I never should’ve told you about my chocolate addiction.”
She batted her eyelashes at me for show and offered me another silly smile. “The potatoes…?”
“Of course I’ll chop potatoes,” I said, sidestepping around her to the oversized basket of what was left of the potatoes we’d brought with us from Colorado Trails. “I’m assuming we’re gonna need all of them, right?”
“Yes, please.”
I heaved the basket up, pausing to figure out the best place to clean them.
“Go ahead and just use the water in the tub, Zoe. It’ll be easier that way. I’ll ask Biggs to get us fresh water later, after we do the dishes.”
“After I do the dishes. You don’t need to be lugging around cast-iron skillets and bending over so much.” I shook my head. “In case you forgot, you’re pregnant,” I added dryly.
“Am I? Geez, that would explain a lot.”
I shrugged, “Just thought I’d remind you.” I offered her a playful smile. Happy I didn’t have to lug at least fifteen pounds of potatoes somewhere else to scrub and chop, I placed the basket on the ground beneath the ledge of the chuck wagon, where the water tub sat. Reaching for the large Ziplock bag of sponges, SOS pads, and miscellaneous brushes tucked inside one of the wagon’s little cubbies, I picked through the contents before choosing a palm-size bristle brush and began scrubbing.
“So, what�
��s on Sarah’s Roadside Menu this morning?” I asked. “The boys came back empty-handed last night…that doesn’t mean we’re having, like, roadkill or something, does it?”
“I would’ve considered it if we’d seen any that was fresh, but nope, we’re going with spam in our breakfast burritos this morning.” Sarah sighed. “Honestly, Zoe, I’m beginning to run out of ideas. There are so many of us now, I think I’ve exhausted all of my sort-of-quick-but-good ideas, at least if I want to feed everyone before it’s time to start preparing lunch.”
“We’re traveling, Sarah. No one expects a five-course meal. We’re lucky we have you cooking for us at all, and besides, I’ve never heard anyone complain.” I put a scrubbed potato on the cutting board Sarah had delivered to me before reaching for another potato.
“Thanks. I guess it’s just that cooking is really the only thing I can contribute at this point. I just don’t want to disappoint.”
From my periphery, I watched her pour oil into three cast-iron skillets and carry them one by one to the campfire, placing them beside one another on the metal grate Biggs had set up for her.
As she waddled back, wiping her hands off on her apron, she glanced around. “Where’s Becca this morning, anyway? Is she getting tired of me already?”
I laughed. “No, I don’t think so. She’s probably with Mase and Camille. She was gone this morning when I woke up, so don’t take it personal.”
“I’ll try not to.” She bustled around behind me for a while, leaving me to my thoughts as I scrubbed one potato after another.
“How are things going with Jake?” Sarah asked after a few minutes.
I felt my body tense. “They’re good,” I said as nonchalantly as possible.
Lazy footsteps, followed by a sigh and Sarah’s shadow approaching, brought my scrubbing to a stop. I looked over to find her staring directly at me, head tilted to the side and hands on her hips. “Tell me,” she demanded. “What’s wrong?”
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 97