“Jason, wha—” I stopped in the hallway just outside my bedroom, my mouth falling open as I stared at Jason through the open doorway. The little sprig of lavender slipped out of my fingers.
There, in the center of the room, surrounded by my antique furniture and delicate ivory and lavender decor and wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white button-down shirt that looked far too pristine to be a part of his post-apocalyptic wardrobe, knelt Jason…on one knee…smiling a small, tight-lipped smile that altered the curve of his scar. It was a secret smile he only ever showed to me and, even then, only on rare occasions.
My breath was nonexistent.
Jason’s eyes seemed deeper, bluer, more intense than usual as he stared back at me. “The world’s gone to shit, and the only time I feel anything anymore is when I’m with you.” He chuckled, letting his dimple show. “The messed up part is, I feel better, happier, around you than I ever did back when the world was whole. I never thought I was capable of this—this…” He shook his head. “Of caring about someone so much that I would do anything for them, be anything for them…give up anything for them. But that’s how I feel every time I look at you.”
Those sapphire eyes blazed into me. “As far as I’m concerned,” he said, “there’s you and me…and then there’s everyone else. You’re the only one I refuse to live without.”
I swallowed, opening my mouth and shutting it again without saying a word.
“Which is why I want to give you this,” he said, extending his fist. He turned his hand over and uncurled his fingers, revealing a tiny wooden circle resting on the center of his palm.
A ring. Does that mean—
“I can’t stand the idea of another day, another minute going by without you knowing—I mean really, truly knowing, deep in your bones—that I love you.” He fell silent, seeming to wait for me to do something, to say something.
When I did neither, simply stood in the doorway, utterly dumbfounded, he rose and slowly made his way toward me. He stopped in front of me and gazed down at me, his eyes filled with so much warmth and hope and love and passion—too much.
Tears welled in my eyes from the intensity of the emotions shining in those blue blue depths. “I—I…” I couldn’t find the right words, probably because I couldn’t wrap my mind around anything he’d just confessed.
He reached his hand up to stroke the backs of his fingers down the side of my face. “Happy tears, I hope…”
I nodded dumbly. They were the happiest tears that ever existed. They were the kind of tears that would run circles around smiles and giggles and laughter.
Jason smiled, just a bit, and lowered his hand. “I’ve never been religious, and I know it’s not your thing either, but I also know how much you value your grandma’s culture”—he touched the Claddagh medallion lying snug and warm against my chest, then lowered his hand to brush his fingertips over the black Celtic knot tattooed on my wrist—“so I thought this would mean more to you than any ceremony or vows.” He raised his hand and once again opened it, giving me a better view of the ring.
Made from a pale golden wood that was almost the color of honey and striated with slivers of brown, the ring had been carved by a deft hand into a more intricate and delicate piece of jewelry than I would have thought possible. Just like the silver medallion I wore around my neck at all times—a gift from my grandpa to Grams on their wedding night—the wooden ring had been carved into the shape of two hands holding a crowned heart. A Claddagh ring.
I stared at it, wide-eyed and even more astonished than I’d been when I’d first caught sight of Jason down on one knee. “Jason, I—did you…did you make that?”
“I did.” His voice was a quiet, low rumble, barely more than a whisper. “And this one.” Again, he raised his left hand, but this time he stopped short of touching my face. Another ring, twin to the one sitting on his palm in every way other than its larger size, had been fitted around his ring finger. The heart pointed inward, signifying that he was taken, that his heart belonged to someone. To me.
Slowly shaking my head, I raised my eyes to meet his. “But when did you…?”
“I had to do something during all those nights I was on watch.” He shrugged, dismissing what was easily the kindest, most generous and thoughtful gift anyone had ever given me as unimportant. “Might as well have been making something to show you that when I say I love you, I mean it…that when I tell you I want to be with you forever, not just right now, I mean it.”
I wet my lips with my tongue, swallowing roughly before speaking. “God, I love you…and I want to be with you forever, too.” I raised my right hand, reaching for the little wooden ring with shaking fingers. I was breathing harder than usual, my heart beating faster than was necessary, as I slipped it onto my left ring finger, the heart pointing inward. It fit perfectly.
The happiest tears on earth spilled over the brims of my eyelids, streaking down my cheeks as I smiled at Jason. I reached up, placing my hands on either side of his face, drinking in the wondrous sight of him, reddish scar and all. “And I want to be with you right now,” I whispered, standing on tiptoes as I pulled his head down.
Our lips touched without any hesitancy, igniting a kiss that was filled with so much love and passion and wanting, that was so sustaining, so fulfilling, that I didn’t think either of us even needed air. Jason’s hands were on my cheeks and jaw, behind my neck, on my shoulders, snaking around my waist, moving wherever he needed them to be to pull me closer to him.
We moved a few steps in some direction and suddenly a wall was against my back, and I was being sandwiched between it and the hard heat that was Jason’s body. His kiss was relentless, demanding more from me. Always more. His hands traveled down the sides of my body, blazing hot trails of desire that pooled low in my abdomen, smoldering, aching, needing. Those hands ended up on my backside, and with a solid grip, Jason lifted me, guiding my legs around his hips.
We’d been here before, like this before, but we’d been interrupted by approaching Crazies. There were no more Crazies in the town, and I would be damned if I was about to let anything else get in the way of us consummating the epic exchange we’d just shared.
“If you…stop,” I told him between gasping breaths and hungry kisses, “I will…kill you…so many…many…times.”
Jason pulled me away from the wall and spun me around, carrying me further into the bedroom. I already had his shirt almost all the way unbuttoned by the time he lowered me onto the bed, only missing the bottom two buttons, which had been wedged between us. I quickly undid the final two, and he shrugged the shirt off, tugging his undershirt over his head in one smooth motion.
That simple unveiling sparked a flurry of disrobing, our hands fighting to unbutton, to unzip, to pull off…until finally, there was no more clothing between us.
As Jason lay atop me, nothing separated us anymore—not fabric, not secrets, not unexpressed emotions.
“God, I love you so fucking much, Red,” Jason said, his voice hoarse. “So fucking much.” With a grunt, he shifted his hips, and there was no more speaking, no more thought. There was only the two of us and the feeling of our bodies being joined together. Nothing else—nobody else—mattered. Just him and me. Together.
~~~~~
“So…what do I call you now?” I asked, snuggling closer against Jason’s side as he wrapped the pale, vine-embroidered comforter and ivory sheets more tightly around us both. I felt like every bone and muscle in my body had been replaced with jelly—happy, tingly, satisfied jelly.
“Hmmm…” Laughing softly, he pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I know it’s crazy, but…how about ‘Jason’?”
I turned my face up to his, pretending to glare. “You know what I mean.” Lowering my head, I rested my cheek on the firm muscle below his collarbone. “Are you still just my boyfriend, or are you my uber-boyfriend? My perma-boyfriend? My partner?” I wrinkled my nose, not liking the sound of the last.
“Husband?” Jaso
n said, his voice so quiet that the single word was barely audible.
I gulped, and my heart rate quadrupled. “Husband,” I repeated just as quietly. “Which would make me—”
“My wife,” Jason said, louder and sounding more sure of himself.
I glanced up at him, and when I saw the sheer contentment softening his features, my heart soared. I couldn’t stop smiling. I grinned so wide and for so long that my facial muscles ached and my lips trembled.
Minutes passed with nothing but the muffled sounds of our hearts beating and our slowing breaths, until finally, Jason sighed. “We’ve been gone for hours, and it’ll be getting dark soon. We should get back.”
I looked up at his face, resting my chin on his shoulder. “Can’t we stay here for the night? I mean, isn’t this technically our wedding night?” I giggled. “Shouldn’t we stay here and do wedding night things?”
Closing his eyes and tensing his features into a pained expression, Jason groaned. “If only we could. But what if something happened to the others while we were—”
“No, no…you’re right. Of course you’re right.” I frowned, disappointed that our moment of alone time would be so short-lived…memorable, but short-lived. I kissed his shoulder, then his neck and his jawline, and finally his lips. “Come on,” I said, sitting up and tugging the blankets off of Jason in the process. “Let’s go.”
Ten minutes later, we were walking out the front door. Jason paused just outside the door, pulling a key out of the front pocket of his jeans and using it to lock the deadbolt.
I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.
“Your grandma kept a spare key in a flowerpot,” he said. “Sort of an obvious hiding place.”
I raised one shoulder, dropping it quickly. “Seemed like a good idea at the time…not that it matters anymore.” Wrapping my arms around my middle, I turned to stare out at the fog blocking the view of the harbor.
Jason stepped up behind me, covering my arms with his as he hugged me from behind.
“I miss her so much,” I said, my voice tight with sorrow, and I knew Jason would understand that I was talking about Grams.
“I know.”
We stood like that for minutes, remembering those we’d lost, until finally, Jason released me and stepped to the side. He took hold of my hand and raised it slightly, looking down at my ring finger. “Do you like it?” There was hesitancy in his voice, hesitancy and a hint of worry.
I looked at him, widening my eyes in surprise. “Jason…I love it. More than I can ever express. I don’t think I could ever come up with a gift that’ll mean so much to you.”
Jason gave my hand a squeeze. “You already have, Red.”
I offered him a small, bashful smile and felt my cheeks heat.
Hand in hand, we descended the steps leading down to the front yard, and I was happier than I’d ever thought was possible. We led the horses back toward the ranch, Jack loping ahead, frolicking around bushes and between houses and cars that had been parked so long that most probably wouldn’t start even if they had enough fuel.
The sun was just beginning to slip behind the rolling hills to the east when we started up the gravel driveway to the ranch. As we passed the rustic, old barn that stood slightly to the west of the stable, I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I thought I spotted Annie, strands of blonde hair flailing behind her as she ran around the corner of the barn.
Annie giggled, and the bubbly sound was immediately followed by a loud “Shhh!”
I raised my eyes to meet Jason’s. His face was absolutely blank…too blank. He’d planned the events that had unfolded at my house, leading to our spontaneous and unofficial-but-no-less-permanent-in-our-hearts marriage, and I was starting to wonder if that wasn’t all he’d planned.
I craned my neck to see around the corner of the barn. “What’s—”
But I didn’t have a chance to get any more of the question out.
“CONGRATULATIONS!” shouted pretty much every living person I knew, which amounted to a small crowd of a little over a dozen people. Behind them on the faded red wall of the barn, the same sentiment was painted in enormous white letters, applied with enough embellishments—swirls, dots, and offshooting vines—to tell me that Zoe had at least had a hand in applying the finishing touches.
Again, I glanced up at Jason, then searched the small crowd for my best friend. I found Zoe standing between Jake and Sam, grinning like she was just a little too pleased with herself; I was almost positive I’d never seen her look so happy.
“Zo! You knew!” I said as we approached, pretending to be irritated though I knew she could feel every single wave of elation that poured out of me. I placed my free hand on my hip. “You knew, and you didn’t tell me!”
Zoe’s only response to my mock tantrum was to roll her eyes. She raised her arms, holding a bunch of flowers out in front of her. As we drew closer, I realized they weren’t just a bunch of flowers, but a crown of flowers—bright orange California poppies and white and fuchsia ice plant flowers, looking like little sunbursts with a halo of long, slender petals. Beside Zoe, Sam held up his own handful of flowers, which turned out to be an even bigger, if less colorful, botanical crown.
I couldn’t hold back the ginormous grin that spread across my face, but I also couldn’t seem to find my tongue.
Zoe stepped forward, lifting her delicate burden so she could settle the crown on my head. She spent a few moments rearranging the curls that had escaped from my braid just so before leaning in and wrapping her arms around me in a strong, heartfelt hug. Zoe’d always been a good hugger.
Placing her hands on my shoulders, she pulled back and met my gaze, her blue-green eyes shimmering. “I’m so incredibly happy for you.” Her gaze shifted to her brother, then returned to me. “For both of you.”
“Really?” I said, the single word asking the thousands of questions I’d held in over the weeks since we’d left Tahoe, all variations of the same: Are you okay with me being with your brother?
“Really.” She pulled me in for another hug. When she released me and stepped back, she was grinning from ear to ear. “Now show me the damn ring.” Her eyes flicked to her brother. “Mr. Grumpy Pants refused to let me see it before you did…even if he did use my pinkie to gauge the size…”
I held out my left hand, showing her the immaculately carved oak Claddagh ring, and gave Jason’s hand a squeeze with my right.
As Zoe lifted my hand higher to get a better look at the ring, her lips parted and her eyes widened. After several long seconds, she turned her gaze to Jason, finally focusing on him for more than a brief moment. “Jason, that’s…wow. It’s stunning.” She smiled faintly and shook her head. “Even Dad would’ve been impressed.”
I looked up at Jason, too, expecting to see the gleam of emotion—sadness and regret—that usually shone in his eyes whenever his dad was mentioned, but I found only pride.
“Zoe?” Sam said, stepping up beside her. “Do you want this one now?” He held out the larger, paler crown of flowers, clearly hoping she would relieve him of his duty as floral-crown-bearer.
“Oh, right.” Zoe took the circlet of flowers from him and turned an obstinate glare on her brother. “Don’t you dare argue about wearing this. You put me in charge of organizing this shindig with barely a day’s notice, and—”
“It’s fine, Zoe,” Jason said. “I’ll wear the damn thing.” But despite his words, he didn’t actually sound annoyed.
Zoe took much less time placing Jason’s wedding crown on his head. When she finished, she reclaimed my left hand and pulled me toward the barn door, and I, in turn, pulled Jason. The door was shut, which made sense considering that the bottom half of the “U” and part of the “L” from “CONGRATULATIONS” were painted on its surface.
Zoe led Jason and me down a path formed of two curving lines of rocks only to stop and face us when she reached the door. “Close your eyes…both of you,” she said looking from me to Jason and back.
I did so immediately, grinning like a goofball, but based on her irritated “Jason…” her brother hadn’t been quite so compliant. “Thank you,” she whispered right before I heard the barn door creak open, and she tugged me forward.
After a few steps, she stopped again. I could smell candle smoke and flowers and food—possibly baked beans or something with barbecue sauce as well as something fishy, but good-fishy, not stinky-fishy. Since I’d grown closer and closer to the animals, I’d lost my taste for meat, but I still loved seafood. My mouth watered at the thought of what kind of fish awaited me.
Zoe arranged Jason and me carefully, making sure we were standing side by side and facing the same direction. “Alright, guys…open ’em.”
Opening my eyes, I stared around the barn’s interior, absolutely awestruck. Bursts of white hung from the crossbeams, and it took me a moment to recognize them as windsocks and spinners of every conceivable shape and size, their only common trait their color. A long table had been set up in the center of the cavernous space and draped with several overlapping ecru tablecloths. Bouquets of colorful spring wildflowers like those in our crowns filled mason jars spaced in a line down the center of the table. Mini-bouquets and individual blooms were arranged around and between the makeshift vases, splashing color along the table in an artful, elegant pattern.
Another long table had been set up against the right-hand wall, and several sizes of colored glass cups and wine glasses had been laid out on one half, while an impressive assortment of liquor, wine, and beer was displayed on the other. There were large crystal bowls scattered here and there on the table, and it took me a moment to realize that they weren’t filled with colored pebbles, but with hundreds and hundreds of pieces of saltwater taffy.
My mouth started watering; saltwater taffy was a treat I adored, and one I hadn’t had since before… “Where’d you get all of this, Zo?” I turned to her, eyes wide with wonder.
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 117