Footsteps creaking overhead and feminine laughter were followed by a muffled “You wish, buddy” that floated down the stairs of the otherwise silent house. No wonder Harper had been so anxious to rearrange the infirmary. Chris laughed again, a sound I’d been hearing more and more frequently over the months. My eyebrow rose of its own accord, and I reached for the mug beside my sketchpad. A contented smile splayed my lips as I appreciated the happy routine we’d all seemed to fall into, gloomy weather or no.
After draining the contents of my mug, I absently set it aside, deciding the beams in the smokehouse roof needed to be closer together if they were going to support the wide—
An ear-piercing cry rolled in with the distant rumble of thunder.
Eyes narrowed and heartbeat thrumming, I jumped to my feet and gazed through the window at the gravel drive. Opening my mind, I felt Dani’s desperation and anguish before I even saw her.
“—shot!” With hair matted from the rain and her clothes drenched, Dani sprinted clumsily up the driveway, her eyes wide with terror. “He’s been shot! He’s dying! Hurry! Harper!”
“H!” I called, already running out the door, trying to process Dani’s hysterics as I sprinted toward her. “Dani!”
Both relief and utter desolation warred in her expression the instant she saw me. She was shaking, soaked, terrified, and out of breath.
“Dani,” I breathed, reaching for her. “What the hell happened?” I called over my shoulder again for Harper.
“There were traders,” she choked out, her eyes boring into mine. “One shot at me, but—”
Dani stopped short and gulped in a breath. She drew in another and another. I guided her toward the barn’s eaves, noting the blood that colored her chest and arms. There was blood all over her hands. My heart twisted and my stomach knotted. Jason.
My gaze was torn, darting from her in search of wounds to the direction she’d come from…without my brother. Why didn’t she use her telepathy? Confusion, dread, and anger made it difficult to focus when I registered he wasn’t coming.
“…we were just talking, he pulled a gun!” she screeched and broke off in a sob, gripping my shirt and pulling me forward. “My Ability…it wouldn’t—I couldn’t…I tried, but the woman made it so I couldn’t use it!” She peered around, frantic as her gaze swept the concerned, horrified faces of our companions, who had begun congregating around us. “There was so much blood,” she said. “Harper…”
“Harper’s coming, Dani.” My eyes met Grayson’s first. He nodded, then ran toward the house to see where he was, but I already heard Harper shouting as he came running toward us. “I’m coming!”
“Come inside, Dani, out of the rain,” I said. She was trembling, and although she struggled against me, she was too weak and distraught to put up a true Dani fight.
Warm bodies followed us as I led her through the open barn door. Jack whined and circled us anxiously, fretful as Dani screeched and cried, paying him no heed. “He was shot—twice!” she said. “He made me go for help…said if he was gone when I got back…” She began to wobble, her knees giving out, and I reached to catch her. “He’s dead, isn’t he?” Her gaze became unfocused. “And I just left him, alone and dying.”
“He’ll be fine,” I said, forcing the uncertainty from my voice. There were mutters and movement as everyone stood there, confused and completely horrified. Camille pulled a drying towel that hung on a line strung through the barn and wrapped it around Dani’s shoulders.
I tried to will away the thickening panic that was alive and scathing inside me. “He’s just hurt, Dani. He can’t be dead. We’ll go get him. Harper and Jake, they can fix him.” They have to fix him.
“Sam, mate, can you help get the horses?” Tavis asked, his voice all cool calmness, though I doubted he felt so collected.
Within seconds, Harper ran into the barn, donning a raincoat. He had his medical kit in hand and a handgun holstered on his hip. “Where is he, Dani?” he asked calmly. “Where did you leave Jason?”
“We went to the hills to find mushrooms.” Dani looked to Grayson. “He almost picked the death caps.”
“Dani,” I said, bracing her shoulders and forcing her to look into my eyes instead of succumbing to the onslaught of shock. “Where’s Jason?”
Jake, Tavis, Chris, and Sanchez ran through the barn door, their weapons strapped to their backs and holstered at their sides.
Jake looked at me. “Where are we going?”
“He’s in the woods on the eastern hills, by a dying oak,” I said, quickly gleaning what I could from Dani’s memory. “Somewhere by the rotting log. And the woman might be out there somewhere—mid-thirties, brown hair, muscular. She’s dangerous…has some form of mind control.” I stared at Dani, unable to remove my gaze from her face, feverish from the cold and crying. I’d never seen her such a wreck. It terrified me more than anything I could remember—more than wondering if my family had died from the Virus, more than assuming they had. There was an emptiness in Dani’s emotions, in her eyes, and I feared she might be right.
Jake whistled for Cooper, and they ran in the direction of the stabled horses. Most of the others followed in a rush. I needed to join them; I needed to see my brother, whether he was dead or alive.
“Camille,” I said softly. “Please get Dani into the house. Get her warm—”
Dani gripped my arm. “I’m coming with you,” she said, a sudden ferocity in her eyes. I was too relieved to see a small spark rekindled within her to argue.
Together we ran for our horses. Mase was already standing with Shadow outside his stall, finishing the buckle on Shadow’s bridle. Mase handed me the reins, the only tack he’d had time to dress. Wings was still inside her stall, though the door was open, allowing her to come out.
I glanced at Dani, realizing she still wasn’t using her Ability, wasn’t communicating with the animals, just like she hadn’t communicated with us at all on her race back to the farm. How long before her Ability comes back?
Mase must have come to the same conclusion, because he swiftly approached Wings, a bridle in hand. Within seconds he was finished and helping Dani onto her horse, and we joined the others, who were gathering outside.
“Here,” Becca said, just as we were all about to leave. She handed those of us without rain gear coats and parkas and hats. Sam was running toward me, a pistol in his hand.
“Show us where he is, Dani,” my dad said, peering out at Harper and Jake’s diminishing forms as they galloped down the driveway. The dogs loped behind them. “Take me to my son.”
Dani nodded numbly, and together they rode after Jake and Harper, the others—Carlos, Sanchez, Chris, Tavis, and Gabe—nudging their horses into a gallop after them. The chaos around me was a blur as I tried to process that my brother was injured—that he might already be dead—several miles away.
Short of breath, Sam reached me and handed me the gun. “Just in case,” he said.
“We’ll get the infirmary ready,” Grayson said from where he stood by the stable, Annie, Mase, Camille, and Becca alongside him.
The concern and anxiety cast in their eyes was the last thing I registered before Shadow and I took off after the others. My grip on Shadow’s reins was so tight that I couldn’t feel my fingers, and I ignored the wind and rain against my face as we raced down the road. The gravel turned to pavement, then to wet mud and grass the further away we rode.
Jason will be fine, I told myself. He has to be fine.
~~~~~
After a couple of hours searching the forest for Jason, we canvassed the verdant hills beyond. And after a few more hours, we’d explored every withered grapevine that lined the forgotten vineyards throughout Hope Valley—around our home that no longer felt safe and comforting. But in the rain, there was no scent for the dogs to pick up, no footprints for us to follow. There was no sign of Jason—of his body…of his blood, save for what was on Dani. There was no sign of the woman or of a struggle at all, not even the trader
’s body, and the deep-seated fear that had rooted hours earlier was quickly becoming consuming. Where is he? Dead or alive, he was nowhere to be found.
I shook the thought from my mind. “He has to be somewhere,” I said, standing under a canopy of naked branches and soggy evergreens with the others.
“But where?” Dani sobbed, her wild hair wilted and clinging to the sides of her ashen face. She clutched her stomach, bending over like she might retch out every part of herself even as she tried to control the sobs that wracked her body. She was desperate to find him, we all were, but we were getting nowhere and the sky was darkening, quickly turning the color of soot. “He was right there,” she howled, pointing at the sickly live oak I’d seen in her memories. After all of our searching, we’d ended up back where we’d started, finding nothing.
“We have to be missing something,” my dad said. The disbelief and pain in his voice ripped at my insides. “This isn’t making any sense. It had to be the woman. She must’ve come back and…” But I could feel his uncertainty, his doubt. Why would she have come back and moved Jason and the trader? How would she have done it so quickly? My dad was right; it wasn’t making any sense.
We were drenched and exhausted. Our horses were drenched and exhausted. Nowhere seemed the only place left to look. It was like we’d been defeated by an unknown opponent, and all of this was just a cruel, miserable joke.
“I never should’ve left him alone,” Dani said between sobs.
I glanced at her, thinking of her inaccessible Ability, then focused on my dad. “We can have Annie send out some animal search parties, at least until…” My gaze shifted back to Dani.
My dad nodded. “It’s a start.”
“I’ll head to Petaluma proper,” Jake said, “see if he’s somewhere in the city.” Jake was already mounting Brutus. “The outskirts, maybe, hiding.” He said it mostly to himself. His voice was almost lost in the incessant rainfall, but I could hear his usual steadfast certainty begin to crack.
I chose to focus on my dad instead. He strode over to Poppy, anxious to head out. Jake didn’t stop him, but when Sanchez went to mount her bay mare, Jake shook his head.
“What? You think I’m staying back?” She looked offended.
Jake did a quick scan of our group, huddled beneath the trees. “I think I’m the only one that won’t die of pneumonia, but it’s up to you.”
The others continued to voice their questions and suggestions, and with the influx of suffocating emotions—of my own emotions—I needed a moment to breathe.
I stepped behind the dying oak, using its sturdy trunk to brace myself as I let out a choked sob. None of this was real, it couldn’t be. This was a horrible dream, just like the others, and soon I’d wake up. But everyone’s distress was insurmountable and felt too real to be false.
Where is he? I wanted to scream. But the more my hands shook and desperation clouded my mind, the more earnest I became. I have to be strong. For my dad. For Dani. We’ll find him and Jake will save him—he’ll give him blood and everything will be okay. I had to believe that or I’d crumble and be no use to anyone.
I swallowed thick, nearly immobilizing fear and stepped back out to Dani’s side. I wrapped my arms around her. “We should head back,” I said, though I wanted to go to Petaluma and continue the search for my brother, too. I didn’t want to stop moving long enough to break down again. Jason was so strong, so protective of Dani—of all of us—I couldn’t imagine him letting anyone, no matter their numbers and size, get the better of him. He wouldn’t have let them win if there’d been any chance that Dani would’ve been in danger. Not without leaving a bloodbath in his wake. I clung to that hope.
“He’s probably disoriented, D,” I said, guiding her back to Wings. “He probably wanted to get out of the rain.”
Dani’s head budged a fraction in agreement, but I knew she felt the hollowness of my reassurances.
“Come on, D. Let’s get you back to the farmhouse. Let’s get you warm. Jason’ll be pissed at me when he gets back if I let you get sick.”
“What if they never find him,” she whispered, her eyes swollen and red, her mouth and chin trembling. She looked wrung out, unable to cry another tear, but I knew that until Jason was found, until we knew he was alive and safe, there would be more tears and more misery.
“They will.”
“How do you know—”
“Because,” I said, barely containing my sudden rage, “I refuse to lose another member of my family, and—”
“There was too much blood, Zo. I know what I saw! He’s dead.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
I glared at Dani as she climbed onto Wings’s back. I couldn’t help the fleeting accusatory thought that had she remained by his side, protected him, he’d still be here. We would’ve come looking for them by now. We would’ve found them, and we’d at least have had his body. But now, there were no bodies—absolutely no signs that there’d even been a struggle. We had nothing. Despite having seen Dani’s memory, despite knowing that Jason had been losing too much blood to have survived out here without medical attention for this long, I was still angry and upset and uncertain. He had to be here somewhere. He had to be alive, or that woman wouldn’t have taken him anywhere.
“Until I see his body,” I bit out, “I refuse to believe that Jason is dead.” As much as my gut told me something horrible had happened, I wouldn’t allow myself to give in to fear completely. “He’s not dead until we see his body, D,” I said more softly. “We’ll find him.”
Again, Dani agreed absently, but I could feel her mind screaming, could feel the knot of foreboding inside her fraying apart into loose filaments of flailing doubt and despair. I could feel her breaking.
Jake and my dad will find him…they have to.
7
DANI
NOVEMBER 28, 1AE
The Farm, California
This feeling.
This lost, sick, desolate, I-don’t-understand, why-won’t-it-just-stop, I-can’t-go-on-like-this feeling was too much.
After losing Cam, I never thought I’d feel like this again. Or, at least, I’d hoped I would never feel like this again. But I’d been an idiot to hope. I was starting to think that in times like these, anybody who hoped for anything at all was an idiot.
What was the point of hoping? Of even trying? The chance to live in a world where we had to fight for everything? A world where every single scrap of food had to be wrestled from the ground or hunted from the last vestiges of our dead civilization or stolen from others who were, like me, just trying to survive? This world, this life…it was sick. Broken. Pointless.
This world had no more room for hope.
I couldn’t help but think back to my conversation with Becca just a few days earlier. I couldn’t help but think I’d been wrong, that love wasn’t worth it. That it wasn’t worth this. And I couldn’t help but hate myself for thinking it.
Did she foresee this? I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed loudly. Did she know this was going to happen? Did she let this happen based on my answers? Did I let this happen? I thought I should’ve been angry, should’ve been storming off to confront her. I should’ve been, but I couldn’t seem to muster the strength to do anything.
“You’re shivering,” Zoe murmured, wrapping the comforter from her bed around us both more tightly. We were in the room she and Jake shared on the second floor of the farmhouse. It was minimal but comfortable, and Zoe’s side of the room was cluttered with her clothes, a sight that was strangely soothing. I was glad to be there, or as glad as I could be to be anywhere. Mostly, I was just glad to be out of the cottage, the home Jason and I had made our own. It was unbearable to be surrounded by our things when there was no certainty that it would ever be our home again.
“I can go find another blanket,” Zoe said and scooted to the edge of the bed. “We have to get you warmed up.”
I grabbed her elbow. “Don’t go.” I didn’t want to be alone.
I didn’t want much at the moment, but being alone was last among a bevy of shitty options—remembering the slick, sticky feel of Jason’s blood on my skin and the burn in my muscles and lungs as I ran, replaying what had happened and what I could’ve done differently, despising myself for being too stupid or panicked or weak-willed to go against Jason’s orders and stay with him. Besides finding Jason’s body, I’d never wanted anything less than being alone.
Because if we never found his body, there was still a chance that he was alive. At least, in my heart there was, even if my mind disagreed. There was too much blood…
Zoe hugged me more tightly, tucking my head under her chin and rubbing her hand up and down my arm. “He’s missing, D, that’s all.” She sighed. “The only blood we found was on you…” Not even Jack or Cooper had been able to pick up Jason’s scent in the woods, not under all the rain, and though the animals who’d been in the vicinity at the time recalled a struggle between two-legs, they’d either scattered during the struggle or hadn’t cared enough to pay attention to what happened after. Their memories didn’t work like ours, but the fact that none of them could definitively say one way or the other whether there’d been a couple of dead two-legs in the woods after the struggle made a valiant effort at giving me hope. Sickening, poisonous hope.
“Mmphhh.” I squeezed my eyes shut, unwilling to give in to the tears again. Because the tears were the all-encompassing kind. I was in full-on, no-holds-barred ugly cry mode, and I was exhausted. My abdomen—my entire torso—ached from the intensity of my sobs, my face was raw and puffy, and my eyes felt like they’d doubled in size. I’d already scared off everyone but Zoe, Annie, and Jack, the latter two being curled up on the foot of the bed.
The Ending Series: The Complete Series Page 137